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My Italian just smelled my armpit and said it doesn’t smell at all (I showered on Thursday morning)

You own an Italian? That's not legal anymore!

I wouldn’t say own, more like control

Wtf? It's like Emiglio?

Yes but less useful

Well, Emiglio é il meglio after all.

that's still very sus as hell tho

Dude I had that thing as a kid, hadn't thought about it in years.

that is still very sus as hell dear

I control southern europeans on my holiday every year. They just keep practically gifting me more alcohol whenever I ask for it

You mean bangladeshi workers?

Yes, Southern Europeans. Did they stutter or something?

Let's hope Emiglio isn't in the basement.

> That's not legal anymore! Sad, I wanna have an Italian too!

I have a German Spitz, though.

I accidentally typed in German spit into Google when checking that dog breed and fell down a deep and very dirty rabbit hole it got worse when I added breeding to it, now I've gotta explain why there's a woman shouting "Ja, spuck mich an, Papa" in the search history on my work computer

Just say that it was a typo, it’s not that big of a deal. "German spit" and "german shit" are pretty close.

Ahhhh thanks dude, sounds like you've dealt with this before too. glad to find another German shit enjoyer!

fuck all of you. the belgians are weird enough, our last place to run is spitsberg but we allready gave it away to the incest swedes

Aren’t we all very spitz sometimes?

I have a Venetian spritz

How much you can pay?

Best I can do is an altoaltesino

Get your own hairy Italian for price of 4999 euros at your local Barbary Moroccan Bazaar

Yes, they make our kebab pizzas. 🤌🏻

Feel how it feels A clear trend The people's home is shaking Stand on your toes In every corner We're baking Food that's round Cheap and healthy Satisfies your hunger Listen and hear The girls' choir When they sing Daddy, I want an Italian! Raised on pizza and pasta Daddy, I want an Italian! You can throw away all the others Daddy, I want an Italian! Find someone who's available Daddy, I want an Italian! Otherwise, I'll flee to Venice Oh, you ancient and free This will be a pizzeria Already named Mama Mia Oh Sole Mio... Here it will be We promise you A pizzeria Soon everything Swedish Completely Italian Oh Mama Mia! Furniture and cars Clothes and style Tiles and showers Wherever you go Girls who stand Standing and pushing: Daddy, I want an Italian! Raised on pizza and pasta Daddy, I want an Italian! You can throw away all the others Daddy, I want an Italian! Find someone who's available Daddy, I want an Italian! Otherwise, I'll flee to Venice Oh, you ancient and free This will be a pizzeria Already named Mama Mia Oh Sole Mio... Oh, you ancient and free This will be a pizzeria Already named Mama Mia Oh Sole Mio... Daddy, I want an Italian! Daddy, I want an Italian! Daddy, I want an Italian!

It is between concenting adults.

When did anyone own an italian?

The Swiss owned them yesterday.

For the Swiss it is.

It would be our Italian, but communism has fallen off somewhat

He is lying because he loves you and your money

Nah, Italians just like blondes...

I know a blonde guy that nobody likes

It's Boris Johnson isn't it?

Let’s put it this way

everyone on this sub loves him because he took the barries away?

I was speaking about girls...women are more picky

Blonde people are nice, but green eyes...

She has both, send help I need to escape.

It's over for you buddy... you will be missed...

It's italian kryptonite I guess...

I am immune to blondes because I am one myself, but I love green eyes out of pure spite since both my parents have them but they didn't have the decency to pass the gene down...

Eh, does it count if its kind of a grayish green? Asking for a friend

Sounds even better tbh

She's broke sadly but she is blonde (therefore hot) so anything does really. Edit: Italian mind is just weak to Fika, that's the only truth.

Joke’s on him, I’m poor

are you blonde? If so it's still ok for us I doubt you can be poorer than us

Covid really hit Italy hard 😔

When you get used to an odor, you don't smell /noticeit anymore. Let your pet Italian go for some fresh air and redo the trst

Drunk?

Keep it real bruv. The male italian mind cannot comprehend

This for real? I swear Reddit people are different

They didn't say they didn't wash since Thursday. Washing every morning and evening works in cold climate.

Thank you for this very charitable interpretation but I meant what I said, I think we just have less hormones or something

well if he's your boyfriend then it doesn't count.

He isn’t, I just use him for sex

That lucky bastard

I'm being exploited, call the union now.

I will rescue you, cumpare

 or he liked the smell

What on gods green earth is this.

Can I also smell your armpit?

Clearly blinded by love

There is a reason we call them PIGS

Ahem... Luigi, we (me and my brother João) take showers every day and use bidets. I think our PIGS brother Giorgos does the same too.

He never said we didn't. When Luigi says true civilization I inmediately assume he's saying PIGS

As a Luigi I can say yes. PIGS is implied here

We even meme about it! https://preview.redd.it/qk7z0fbpjn9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df486ab78a4d36c6a59ec38bb9ab6d34c40bf9d4

You're safe Pablo, we know it.

My brother in Christ don't call me Pablo.

Why? Pedro is better?

No Pepe is better but some Spaniards are different. The Catalans ones are Jaume, the Basques are Patxi and we Galicians Xurxo.

Pepe seems Pepe Le frog too much.

But Pepe le frog is Pepe because we were Pepe before! Fun fact: Pepe is the short form of José. I know what you are thinking: "But it has the same amount of letters and it has no apparent relationship". Pepe comes from "Pater Putativus, P.P." title given to Saint Joseph as step-father of Jesus. Spanish people started to refer to Joseph as P.P. and then to all Josephs in the country.

Curious because in italian Giuseppe (José) can be shortened into Beppe or Peppe.

That's probably the real origin of Pepe but we wanted to sound cultured.

I think this is the real answer. This could explain why it is not used in Portugal, due to the lesser contact with you compared to what the Aragoneses had. Thank you for the info, I think mine is bullshit.

Uhh... So look guys this can stay between us but we don't really... use bidets. No one I know of has a bidet in his house.

We varely use them, but still have them, savage!

With 40c temperatures is there really an alternative?

Where i live higher temperature in summer is 30°C and we still shower once a day or each 2 days

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Oh come on Barry, it's not the 1600s anymore! Stop bullying the gingers

Average barry behaviour (hypocrisy).

No the avatar looks like a hippie

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https://i.redd.it/gqhuqnk59k9d1.gif

If only

People smelling like sweat was one cultural shock I had in Germany

If you think the Germans are bad, just wait until you smell the Austrians.

South Germans?

Maybe someday, someone will look into uniting the two...

Now I don't feel like visiting Vienna anymore 😞

Vienna is quite good, it's probably one of the cleanest capitals in Europe. I also recommend Graz, taking the Vienna-Graz train journey allows you to enjoy a stunning alpine landscape.

Is it really that bad? I guess you don’t notice it if it’s all you’ve ever known…😟

Don’t come to paris then, my PIGS friend

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Especially when you don't wash

You're flexing being smelly and dirty?

Northerners realizing people take baths every day, wear deodorant and perfume, as to avoid smelling like my ancestors would say "katinga". 

Never use perfume for body odor though

Southerners when they realize that you don't sweat as much in colder temperatures... Still, I think most northerners shower every day, so idk what this is all about.

Northerners when they realize that you don't need to sweat to be stinky...

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Not only the ancestors

Please never comment anything again, smelly bastard

Shit smell is a natural body odour too and a real thing. Do we want to smell like it? No.

But it would be very ecological. You could even grow an ecosystem on you.

I'm going to grow barley in my ears and hops in my shithole. The water is the easiest part: naturally colored too!

You know what they say: Men only clean up the home when expecting visitors.

Those who visit often don't mind the mess.

This is just you finding an excuse to be lazy again isn't it ?

That's why we have pussyphones in every apartment.

Or when HAWK TUAH

No, Giovanni, dumping an entire flacon of perfume on your greased up hair does **not** count as “taking a shower”

Hair? What hair https://preview.redd.it/pvkm4kzllk9d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bbf206ad94bd67e5e34ee5c259a351a6800a75d1 (I literally started balding at 17)

(Guess I‘m part PIGS 😔🤝😔 una lotta,,,)

Same... I must've gotten the wrong genes in the lottery

Weirdly enough Germans do bald fast and I would have never thought

All the PIGS hair migrates down to the rest of the body

I just laughed to death when I saw the 1st position, I shouldn't be surprised tbh.

Baldness is underrated 😔

Yeah everyone is bald here

Poor guy

That's François, not us.

Even taken public transport here? You gonna lose the sense of smell.

I took the train in Paris once. Not even close to our glorious public transport. In Paris I risked passing out.

How come most Italians I've met stank like hell despite statistics saying they are most likely to shower daily?

They were scared by your height

Sweating more because of the heat probably

This. Like they don’t believe in deodorant or something. Same thing with both men and women.

Why use deodorant when you can pour half a bottle of Gianni v on you? (This is how the Mediterraneans/arabs do)

Yeah. Nothing like heat, closed space, sweat and too much cheap/fake parfum. 🤌

I see we have both been inside a taxi.

*near an italian/arab

sounds like french influence

When we meet high people we get scared, so we secrete a smelly liquid, it's just a defensive reaction, don't be too worried.

High in which context? The Dutch kinda high or the other uh... Also Dutch kinda high?

social anxiety (and trying very hard not to offend god very two seconds)

Because over-showering makes you stink more. What you smell is actually the farts of non-synergetic bacteria.

It's the overconsumption on garlic.

Everytime I have to tell you PIGS! We don't feel the need to shower as often because our climates are often colder. Obviously if you live in PIGS land, where the sun never fucks off and you have to sleep naked. You're going to want to shower alot. I showered three times a day in Spain because it was just nice to cool off and also it helped sober me up, but that's beside the point. Maybe if you didn't live like a bunch of sweaty PIGS, you wouldn't need to shower as much.

Can't recall when I last smelled sweat on a swedish person in Sweden that wasn't at a gay turkish bath- I mean at the gym. It's always the usual suspects that smell like 2 week old sweat here. When we travel down to the sun cursed lands however we sweat like dogs because of the climate 🤓

Define "Swedish person" 🧐

Trick question. The swedes aren’t people, rather a unique mix of reindeers and arabs

Reads the quran, have 5 wifes (our cousins), tendency for violent behaviour and wears a turban to work.

Imagine having to take vitamin D supplements

You have seven tumours in your skin, I know what kinda medicine I'd rather need

https://preview.redd.it/3q1m3fxhbl9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e5c50260bbd895c4802d7a0eee59c1ff81c2f75 Yes, imagine having all that sun and still need vitamin D supplements.

What do all the numbers mean on this map?

It's supposed to be Vitamin D concentration in blood samples.

Well, wouldn't have guessed that the Italians are tied with the Irish. The Luigis must never leave their nonna's basement.

Funny you would bring that up... When Japanese think this same thing about westerners :P

They're right. Also south Americans

Truth be told Paco and friends couldn't take a shower while crossing the atlantic, still we gave them flowers to mask their smell, it did not work

From the map that pops here from time to me its just you and us Luigi. We stand against all the barbarians.

\*barbhairians

This post again? Is it reposted once every month?

[the "sweds" in question.](https://usercontent.one/wp/www.nyhetsbyranjarva.se/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/IKCR-killar-1-1024x683.jpeg?media=1718001105)

Reading around a bit and some people don't even know how a damn bidet works, IT AIN'T GONNA PRESSURE WASH YO ASS

https://i.redd.it/sln383yzrk9d1.gif

Gli italiani come sempre basati

How are bidets not the norm across the globe? Fuckin itchy ass dry paper scraping savages...

https://preview.redd.it/kbqrafr3rk9d1.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=c70e67c9c354f54f3c9f0abb6394f4e77cf9b59a never forget amerilards during covid

I mean we had the same idiots here... It was a big deal

We had the same issue but with pasta, everything disappeard except the "penne lisce" kind. We may starve but don't degrade to such degeneracy 

To be honest, that happened here too.

Good paper eliminates the need for bidets

Rich coming from a country where half the water pumped into the pipe network disappears into the ground. Clearly it doesn't want to come into contact with the people there ;)

We shower when we swim across the ocean to raid neighbouring countries

The Rhine

Yes, the southern part of Europe are vastly known for their shower habits...

You shower everyday and you wash your ass in the bidet everytime you take a shit. That's the civilized way. That's how you get your ass eaten.

I had a bidet in my home when I was little, now I have those hoses by the toilet, but most people I know in Argentina only use the bidet and no paper, and that's gross, it's like bathing your legs with poop soup when you stand up.

That's sure not the correct way to use a bidet.

Ew what the fuck

Yep, true civilization lives without a bidet. The last I saw one might have been 10 years ago lmao

You're Wallonian, last time you saw something remotely civilized you chop their hands off.

You guys fucked local women, we fucked local hands. Life is about hard choices, indeed

Nice one. Hats off to you.

Hands off*

As someone who showers every day I agree that people who don't should be executed

Sweden got smelly because of Arabism, Chad Italy rejects mass Islamic migration.

I’m sorry Italian bros but showing every day is genuinely bad for your skin. Sorry, you can’t always be right against us northern savages

Cold showers and decent soap should fix that. Now go take a shower smelly.

Henk that's enough. You are embarrassing us all. But then again you are a Dutch Wallonian, so I should have expected it.

As long as it’s H*llanders I’m embarrassing no harm has been done

That's an old myth. Water and soap won't kill your skin's protective bacteria, just use a decent shower gel.

Didn’t know that, thanks for the advice

Love the excuses smelly people make up

It's ridiculous indeed, if you do any physical activity like sports, dancing or physical heavier work, take a damn 2min shower when you finish. But don't forget Reddit is infested with stinky neckbeardies(/beardettes)