Diane: "There's no such thing as 'bad guys' or 'good guys.' We're all just guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes, and all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff. But you're never going to be good, because you're not bad. So you need to stop using that as an excuse."
Bojack: "I am asking to be held accountable."
Diane: "And I'm telling you, it's not gonna happen. Whatever you put in that story, no one is gonna 'hold you accountable.' You need to take responsibility for yourself."
I think of that first line whenever anyone on this sub remarks that BoJack is just a bad person and the entire show was just a cautionary tale about a hopelessly irredeemable misanthrope
I think this sentiment that she expresses several times throughout the series is really what the show is all about, or at the very least is a core theme. Nobody is intrinsically good, but you can do good things, and the closest you can get to being a good person is to just keep doing good.
There's a lot of little references to it throughout the show. At the top of my mind, when the baboon runner stands over Bojack and says, "It gets easier. But you have to do it every day, that's the hard part." it's as much about what Diane's talking about as it is about running.
Also reminiscent of this section of Free Churro
"All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard."
Hopping on here to add a good, light one.
“Mr peanut butter you know I love you and think you’re a good dog. Yes, you are. Yes, you are, and I love your cute funny face” she said seriously
It’s a valid way of reasoning, and I agree there is no mystical “deep down” that is “the key to everything”. However, things you do are just random most of the time and they don’t really characterize you either.
I think there is just no point whatsoever in trying to focus on people’s actions or their justifications that much, there’s lots of more interesting stuff out there.
I mean, things like "Should I eat eggs or a bagel for breakfast" clearly don't have a moral weighting (unless you take into account the implications of the global food chain or animal rights, which most people won't anyway).
But I think the vast majority of people make decisions that impact other people at least once a day. And when it comes to those decisions, you have a choice to impact people either positively or negatively.
I always think of this quote from Jacques Cousteau: "Even if we know the end is coming for certain, which we do not, what can men of good conscience do but keep trying to do the right thing until the very end?"
When explaining to Princess Carolyn why she needs to write her book of essays now, Diane says, "If I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable for nothing."
And a refrain from Mr Cuddlywhiskers:
"It takes a long time to realise how truly miserable you are and even longer to see that it doesn't have to be that way. Only after you give up everything, can you begin to find a way to be happy.”
His quote is really similar to my philosophy on stress and struggling. My mindset is that as adults we all choose our burdens. There’s very little you can’t walk away from.
So when I’m suffering or stressed I think about whether or not I can decide to just…leave. And if I can and I’m not, I ask myself why. If it’s a good reason then it reframes my pain as a cost of something worthwhile. If it’s not a good reason then it’s a wake up call to walk away.
I always found this line to be hollow, especially as it pans back to show his luxury little retreat after he says it. I don't think he gave anything up... he wrote the shows and won awards and fortune and spending time in a yurt doesn't mystical hand any of that back to the universe. It is a great line and certainly applicable from certain folk, but not him, its always irked me.
I think "it" isn't material possessions, but the struggle to find the right way in life. Just before that quote he was talking about all the good deeds he tried to do in order to make himself feel whole.
I may have interpreted it too literally, I grant that. (Although did he have to abandon his property when he could have sold it, donated it etc... I mean a vulnerable whale woman was found dead there during an errand to check in on cuddly whiskers who just up and left)
Buuut following on from your point now I feel he is merely selfish... helping people to benefit one's own feelings of righteousness, wholeness, completeness or whatever one wants to call it isn't altruistic... it is a means to an end. He says that no matter how many people he tried to help others fell through the cracks... so what he got sad, gave up and up and left?? Then argued that that was 'giving up everything for his own happiness' he basically concluded that helping people is impossible if you want to also be happy. I struggle to wrap my head around it... yes I wish I could do more on an individual level and I do feel pretty helpless when considering the state of the world, but I don't walk out the door and never return because of it... it just feels like a cop out...
Yeah, I sort of sympathize because I used to be a community organizer, and I don't know, there's only so much a human being can take. In my case, it was the constant threats and contempt. I don't even remotely regret the decade I spent doing that, but there reached a point where I just had to stop. I think we need to normalize people doing that kind of work for about five or ten years until it really gets to them. The world would be a much better place if lots of people put five or ten years into civic work, as opposed to a small handful of people investing their entire lives and sometimes destroying their psyches in the process.
Oooh now you've really changed my thinking on the whole thing. I work in a similar field and I think that part of my reluctance to accept Cuddlywhisker's actions is because it would be like admitting defeat in myself... if that makes sense? Like you I experience pretty relentless complaining from people and it is exhausting but this is the longest I've held a job and I don't want some silly billies getting the better of me... but now I'm thinking "what am I doing here?" Lots to think about now (like i didn't have enough to think about already so thanks :p ))
I am curious too. It's kind of hard for me to consider how I feel about that line given the context of what happened to her and how she chooses to rationalize it. It's just a lot to consider lol
I like the line because it shows how hard it is to accept that something bad has happened to you. She's holding on to the damage, trying to make it better by giving it meaning because she's unwilling to accept it. It makes someone feel defeated and small, while succeeding to change it to "good damage" makes you the winner.
PC's commentary is key though: Diane is only extending her suffering by lingering around her damage to change it. She would do better to just accept it for what it is so she can move on and leave it behind her. In the end, she did conquer her damage by walking away from it.
I could write a whole essay on Diane and her trauma and how her writing career is a symbolic parallel to her learning how to cope with her trauma, but I’m gonna do my best to not ramble.
I really like this conversation with PC, because it’s a major turning point for Diane in both of these parts of her life. She has spent so long trying to convince herself that her trauma had meaning, and she had to get that meaning out of it by using it to help other people. In parallel, she spent so long trying to convince herself that she had to write about these big, serious topics and make change with them to be a successful, impactful writer.
It was only when she accepted that her trauma *wasn’t* for some grander purpose, that it wasn’t some important thing that happened to her so that she could change the world, that she was able to begin to move past it and start healing from it. She continued to try to rehash and live in her trauma because she coped by convincing herself that her damage would be worth something if she could use it to make the world a less shitty place. But trauma doesn’t have a greater meaning to it. Damage isn’t a superhero origin story. It’s just shitty things that happen to us, and we can either learn to deal with it in a healthy or an unhealthy way. When Diane is able to accept this, she’s able to start learning healthier ways to deal.
The parallel to this one is pretty clear: when Diane is able to let go of her book of essays, she’s able to write something she enjoys that does make a meaningful impact on people. We’re even shown a direct example of this when she has the conversation with Sonny about the different themes in her book.
I thought Diane’s depression arc was done really well, and I liked this specific episode in that perspective. There is some legwork to overcoming our trauma and toxic patterns; there’s no magic pill that’s going to make it all go away. But healing IS possible.
She wants her trauma to have meaning, then there is at least a reason for her suffering to ahe can turn it into a good lesson for others, thats what “good” damage is her
idk about this commenter, but this idea has come up in therapy a good bit for me. finding meaning in everything is a very human trait, but if you hold onto everything that doesn't make sense to you trying to find the meaning, you might never move on from that damage. is it worth it to find meaning in the damage if you don't get to enjoy all the other things in your life? it might be. you might find answers. or you might stay stuck thinking about the damage and miss out on all the potential.
really love the top comment on that link "What Diane doesn't realize is that books and other media about damage and trauma isn't what made her feel less alone growing up. It was the corny happy family on Horsin' Around."
Diane's book goes a step further though. Guy's son, after reading it, said that some parts felt very real and that he thought "teen girls who are insecure can relate to it" while heavily implying that he did too. She did what she set out to do and was able to connect with people, but not through 'essays' but through the format of Horsin Around.
So true!! I actually left a very similar comment as well. Now that I'm an adult and am revisiting my trauma with the help of my therapist, I think about who and what made me feel a little less alone. It was books, with kids that felt like me.
Not to mention that she wouldn’t have written her detective book if everything before that hadn’t happened. Her damage was good anyway it just wasn’t as obvious as she might have thought
i love when princess caroline says, “then, if you can’t write that book, write this book.” it reiterates the validity in taking an alternate path than your desired or previously planned one. (;
As someone that went through their adolescence wanting to be a musician and especially as an aspiring musician that loved more melancholy and introspective works, this hit especially hard.
I used to revel in misery because in my head I wanted the kind of rough background that would justify and make legitimate the lyrics I planned to make out of everything. It prevented me from growing for a long time, because I wouldn't internalize the bad things happening in my life - it became very easy to turn myself into the victim, because that narrative lent itself so strongly into the outcome I wanted.
later, when I finally learned to drop or throw away those ideas as useless, it kind of pulled back the veil and let me dwell on how I'd been the architect of my own suffering for so long, which helped me grow past those habits.
Not only was the damage "just damage" (useless); I'd sought it out for myself when I could have instead chosen to seek my own happiness.
So, uh, I'm trans, and this is the sentiment I have right now.
I pushed myself into the closet so hard, that now that I'm coming out I don't know why I did it. I hurt myself so much for so long and I just don't know why.
I feel dumb for not having figured it out earlier, but what 12 year old is gonna figure out they're trans all on their own when all they've ever wanted to do was make their parents proud?
It's just damage. I got nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable for nothing.
Worst of all, I think I'm scared to be happy.
when i watched that scene i was in a very anxious point in my lofe and i related to it so much now being more level headed it made me realise we dont always need to makenour pain our prophecy we can simply just be- and let the pain move past. but i thank bojack (the show) for giving me something to relate to at that time so i knew i wasnt crazy
"Mr. Peepernutter! Mr. Peepernumber!" makes me laugh every time.
In that same convo:
"The drugs have something to say, and even though they are drugs, they come from SCIENCE, so let's give them a listen!"
“Look, the wedding was great, but that's not real life. I mean, I guess I got a happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, right? And the day after that. So, the wedding was so much fun, it was the happiest day of my life but, you know, what does that say about all the days I have left?”
For real. I love it but sometimes it makes me drown in my own emotions. It can be hard to separate yourself from the dialogue and content sometimes if you feel you relate so much. That’s why I try not to watch it too much anymore. I enjoy it here and there but generally, I watched way too much during covid at my lowest in life and I felt so stuck inside my own head all the time about everything I was already dealing with and the dialogue just fed into it.
The real reason you go to Vietnam is you accidentally see your soon-to-be ex-husband kiss someone else. At first you think, “Oh, it’s a fling; They’re drunk, it’s a party.” But then he puts his hand on the small of her back exactly the way he used to do to you. It means, “I’ve got you”, and when he did it to you it made you feel safe, and you realize he will never do that to you again. And it breaks your heart again, after your heart was so broken that you thought it can never get any more broken. You thought it was safe but it still somehow finds a new way to break. Because even though you’re the one who asked for this, now that you’ve got it, you’re completely adrift, with no compass or map or sense of where to go or what to do - so you go to Vietnam. You think you might find community, a connection to something bigger, but you don’t. In fact, you feel even more alone before you left. But you survive, you learn that you can survive being alone.
I’m really happy for you Mr. Peanutbutter.
This is what got me through when I was feeling alone.
This line in this episode after my 8 year relationship ending hit me so hard, it was the only show for me that really gave space to how it feels to leave someone you still deeply care for.
Me too. It’s the first time I’ve seen something that properly explains what the gut-punch of watching your ex thrive while you’re still in so much pain feels like. It’s horrible feeling happy for them but also deeply hurt that you’re no longer the most important people in each other’s lives. Diane gives me hope.
all time favorite for some reason:
BoJack: So, what do you think about Sarah Lynn?
Diane: Oh, I don't really think about her all that much. I mean, obviously, I'm a fan of her early work which both satirized and celebrated youth culture's obsession with sex, but I do wonder as a third-wave feminist if it's even possible for women to reclaim their sexuality in this deeply entrenched patriarchal society, or if claiming to do so is just a lie we tell ourselves so we can more comfortably cater to the male gaze. But you know, on the other hand, I worry that conversations like this one often dismiss her as a mere puppet of the industry .. incapable of engaging in these discussions herself.. and infantilization, which is itself a product of the deeply misogynistic society we live in.
*But like I said, I don't really think about her all that much.*
To this day I'm in not sure whether that speech is about how much Diane overthinks *everything*, or if its about Diane the serious adult journalist trying to downplay how much she thinks about the stuff she liked when she was in her early 20s.
Not only intelligent, but insightful. An example would be knowing publishing the simple fact that Jessica Biel hates avocado would be sufficient to torpedo her political career.
That one hits hard as a fan of pop punk and alt rock where a common joke in the community is “oh yeah, you like pop punk? Then name the age of consent in all 50 states”.
The number of musicians in those scenes who have been canned for grooming/messing around with their underage fans or for sexually assaulting fans of any age is concerning and gross. Makes you wonder how many of those people were drawn to their profession because of the access they’d have to victims who would throw themselves at them. Like Dahvie Vanity, who would bring 13-14yo girls on his bus, and of course it would take no effort at all to get them there and take advantage of them because they were so excited their celebrity crush was paying attention to them.
It’s like that joke “me realizing now that I did actually have a chance with all my favorite YouTubers when I was 12 years old”. It’s really fucking funny, but only because it’s so depressingly true.
“I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster. At first glance it doesn’t seem to make any sense. If you squint at it just right. Everything lines up and it’s the most perfect, beautiful and amazing thing. But, I’m so tired of squinting…”
The full thing is:
Diane: You know sometimes I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster.
Mr. Peanutbutter: I love those things
Diane: I know. And it’s messy. And at first glance, it doesn’t seem to make any sense. And it’s hard to figure out. But sometimes if you squint at it just right everything lines up and it’s the most perfect...beautiful amazing thing.
Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. I know what you mean
Diane: But...I’m so tired of squinting.
I was in a very sensible moment of my life/relationship when I watched that episode. It hit me so hard. It was as if Diane was putting out everything I was feeling in I way I couldn't manage to put out myself. Few months went by and finally I left after years of squinting. This show helped me get my shit together in more ways than I could have imagined.
"I'm probably just overthinking it because I never got the practice because I didn't get invited to any parties in high school. *What am I talking about?* You don't care about any of that. Shut up, Diane! You're at a party, compliment the host!" *inhales* "You have a lovely home."
"This isn't fun for me! Being a woman is not a hobby or a pet interest of mine. You get to drop in, and play Joss Whedon, and everybody cheers. But when you move on to your next thing, I'm still here."
It hits different and I use this quote occasionally when frustrated about male feminists who drop the activism after it’s done being popular
“Why does anything matter, right? Love is an illusion and happiness is fleeting, there’s no such thing as God, and all your favorite musicians beat their wives. *Allegedly!*”
Oh, really? “We had our sister plan and pay for a funeral for our dad and then at the last minute we changed our minds and just had him ground into chum that we put in a barrel and we’re gonna throw in Derek Jeter’s fat face and didn’t bother to tell her about it because the Sox game is on.”
Now, which part of that seems crazy to you, smarty-pants?
"I'd hate to be driving down here at rush hour. When the sun goes down and hits that billboard, that's gonna--Thats gonna be a real problem."
Or
"Mr Peanutbutter, you know I love you and think you're a good dog. Yes you are. Yes you are and I love your cute funny face."
This is possibly my favourite funny quote from the show by anyone. Diane has some fantastic poignant quotes but in terms of humour, this is my favourite.
I feel all the time, like a garbage fire. And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley. But a barge floating out to sea, with no rudder. I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.
What hits close would be on the ep Good Damage.
"...all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?"
or what she said during the earlier episodes.
"Every happy ending has the day after the happy ending."
Either “I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever. I'm glad I knew you too."
Or "Every happy ending has the day after "
Ikr and that also relating to when she was crashing at bojackacks and she was talking about how she just wanted to go home and have someone ask her how her day was, and she would only have to say: my day was... Good
"Even If No One Appreciates You, It's Important That You Don't Stop Being Good"
This one stuck to me. Another one not from the show "If you do the right thing, usually nobody knows you did anything at all"
“You turn over the nothing and there’s just more nothing.”
I can’t quite recall the exact quote but what she says about “good damage” in the episode of the same title.
Diane: I wish I could have been the person you thought I was. The person who would save you.
BoJack: That was never your job.
Diane: Then why did you always make me feel like it was?
I really like Diane's quote from when she gets high with the Snatch Batch
"... and sometimes I think I know myself, but maybe that's a trap. Because maybe *I am* Cool Sexy Diane or Really in Touch with Her Feelings Diane or possibly other Dianes we don't even know about yet. The point is, I am all of the Dianes."
"I think I'm depressed."
This line made me pause the show and call my doctor. I started Lexapro that week. I haven't felt as good as I do today in I honestly don't know how long.
"I don't think I believe in deep down. I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do."
I bring it up all the time, completely agree with this idea. No such thing as a good person.
"I hope the cheerleaders don't stuff me in a locker and write 'VIRGIN SLUT' on my forehead and, when I ask how I can be both a virgin *and* a slut, they make me eat a lipstick"
I feel, all the time, like a garbage fire. And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley, but a barge, floating out to sea, with no rudder. I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.
Not my favorite quote, but one I will never forget. And it's mostly how Alison Brie delivers it. When everyone is trapped underground, and her and Bojack are drinking together:
"Why can't I be happy? Am I busted? I am! I'm a pit! I'm a pit that good things fall into!"
"You're gonna win that Oscar, and you're gonna go up on that stage and give your little speech, and then you're gonna go home..... and you're going to be so miserable you'll want to kill yourself. And you're going to have nobody left to stop you"
Not sure why but that one gets stuck in my brain a lot
a couple people posted a similar one of her quotes with the same basic idea, but since i used it as my yearbook quote i’ve gotta add my specific one
“There are no good guys or bad guys, we’re all just…guys who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes”
ever since i heard that, i’ve always tried to live my life by it. i’m not a “good person”, no one is. i just try to do good stuff as often as possible, and limit the bad stuff as much as possible. my family will say “you’re the best” or whatever, and i always just respond with “i try”, because it’s the truth. i try to do good.
Well, that's the problem with life, right?
Either you know what you want, and you don't get what you want, or you get what you want, and then you don't know what you want.
“I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”
“There's no such thing as "bad guys" or "good guys." We're all just...guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff, and more good stuff!”
"I need to tell you: thank you. And–
It's going to be okay.
And–
I'm sorry.
And–
Thank you."
My marriage shattered into pieces overnight, leaving me absolutely devastated. I've been doing my best to navigate the trauma, and work through the underlying issues of codependency, very much like Mr.Peanutbutter admits to doing earlier in the episode.
I never got closure. She went no contact, and I have no intention of reaching out or crossing this boundary. Listening to this phrase feels almost like a substitute, a placebo to dull the pain.
Like other main characters in the show, Diane has heaps of memorable and chills-down-the-spine quotes, but this one stood out to me – it's something I know I will never hear from the person I once held so close to my heart.
I can only hope that one day my wish to hear this will fade as well.
this was kinda a throwaway line, but it really sticks with me: “i’m all of the dianes.”
as someone who struggles with identity / who i am from day to day, this quote reminds me that i don’t have to be just one thing; all versions of myself are valid, real, and equally important
Diane: "There's no such thing as 'bad guys' or 'good guys.' We're all just guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes, and all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff. But you're never going to be good, because you're not bad. So you need to stop using that as an excuse." Bojack: "I am asking to be held accountable." Diane: "And I'm telling you, it's not gonna happen. Whatever you put in that story, no one is gonna 'hold you accountable.' You need to take responsibility for yourself."
I think of that first line whenever anyone on this sub remarks that BoJack is just a bad person and the entire show was just a cautionary tale about a hopelessly irredeemable misanthrope
scrolled way too far for this one
“That’s the thing, I don’t think I believe in deep down. I kinda think that all you are is just the things you do”
I think this sentiment that she expresses several times throughout the series is really what the show is all about, or at the very least is a core theme. Nobody is intrinsically good, but you can do good things, and the closest you can get to being a good person is to just keep doing good. There's a lot of little references to it throughout the show. At the top of my mind, when the baboon runner stands over Bojack and says, "It gets easier. But you have to do it every day, that's the hard part." it's as much about what Diane's talking about as it is about running.
Also reminiscent of this section of Free Churro "All I know about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is. But in real life, the big gesture isn’t enough. You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good. You can’t just screw everything up and then take a boat out into the ocean to save your best friend, or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas. You need to do it every day, which is so… hard."
Seconded, I love this quote and actually use it a lot lol
This is my fav as well
Hopping on here to add a good, light one. “Mr peanut butter you know I love you and think you’re a good dog. Yes, you are. Yes, you are, and I love your cute funny face” she said seriously
It’s a valid way of reasoning, and I agree there is no mystical “deep down” that is “the key to everything”. However, things you do are just random most of the time and they don’t really characterize you either. I think there is just no point whatsoever in trying to focus on people’s actions or their justifications that much, there’s lots of more interesting stuff out there.
I mean, things like "Should I eat eggs or a bagel for breakfast" clearly don't have a moral weighting (unless you take into account the implications of the global food chain or animal rights, which most people won't anyway). But I think the vast majority of people make decisions that impact other people at least once a day. And when it comes to those decisions, you have a choice to impact people either positively or negatively. I always think of this quote from Jacques Cousteau: "Even if we know the end is coming for certain, which we do not, what can men of good conscience do but keep trying to do the right thing until the very end?"
When explaining to Princess Carolyn why she needs to write her book of essays now, Diane says, "If I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable for nothing."
And a refrain from Mr Cuddlywhiskers: "It takes a long time to realise how truly miserable you are and even longer to see that it doesn't have to be that way. Only after you give up everything, can you begin to find a way to be happy.”
His quote is really similar to my philosophy on stress and struggling. My mindset is that as adults we all choose our burdens. There’s very little you can’t walk away from. So when I’m suffering or stressed I think about whether or not I can decide to just…leave. And if I can and I’m not, I ask myself why. If it’s a good reason then it reframes my pain as a cost of something worthwhile. If it’s not a good reason then it’s a wake up call to walk away.
I always found this line to be hollow, especially as it pans back to show his luxury little retreat after he says it. I don't think he gave anything up... he wrote the shows and won awards and fortune and spending time in a yurt doesn't mystical hand any of that back to the universe. It is a great line and certainly applicable from certain folk, but not him, its always irked me.
I think "it" isn't material possessions, but the struggle to find the right way in life. Just before that quote he was talking about all the good deeds he tried to do in order to make himself feel whole.
I may have interpreted it too literally, I grant that. (Although did he have to abandon his property when he could have sold it, donated it etc... I mean a vulnerable whale woman was found dead there during an errand to check in on cuddly whiskers who just up and left) Buuut following on from your point now I feel he is merely selfish... helping people to benefit one's own feelings of righteousness, wholeness, completeness or whatever one wants to call it isn't altruistic... it is a means to an end. He says that no matter how many people he tried to help others fell through the cracks... so what he got sad, gave up and up and left?? Then argued that that was 'giving up everything for his own happiness' he basically concluded that helping people is impossible if you want to also be happy. I struggle to wrap my head around it... yes I wish I could do more on an individual level and I do feel pretty helpless when considering the state of the world, but I don't walk out the door and never return because of it... it just feels like a cop out...
I think that’s the point. It *is* a cop out. But copping out makes him happy.
Yeah, I sort of sympathize because I used to be a community organizer, and I don't know, there's only so much a human being can take. In my case, it was the constant threats and contempt. I don't even remotely regret the decade I spent doing that, but there reached a point where I just had to stop. I think we need to normalize people doing that kind of work for about five or ten years until it really gets to them. The world would be a much better place if lots of people put five or ten years into civic work, as opposed to a small handful of people investing their entire lives and sometimes destroying their psyches in the process.
Oooh now you've really changed my thinking on the whole thing. I work in a similar field and I think that part of my reluctance to accept Cuddlywhisker's actions is because it would be like admitting defeat in myself... if that makes sense? Like you I experience pretty relentless complaining from people and it is exhausting but this is the longest I've held a job and I don't want some silly billies getting the better of me... but now I'm thinking "what am I doing here?" Lots to think about now (like i didn't have enough to think about already so thanks :p ))
Came here to say this, that quote literally changed my entire perspective on life, such a good message about the glorification of suffering
Would you be able to share more about how it changed your life?
I am curious too. It's kind of hard for me to consider how I feel about that line given the context of what happened to her and how she chooses to rationalize it. It's just a lot to consider lol
I like the line because it shows how hard it is to accept that something bad has happened to you. She's holding on to the damage, trying to make it better by giving it meaning because she's unwilling to accept it. It makes someone feel defeated and small, while succeeding to change it to "good damage" makes you the winner. PC's commentary is key though: Diane is only extending her suffering by lingering around her damage to change it. She would do better to just accept it for what it is so she can move on and leave it behind her. In the end, she did conquer her damage by walking away from it.
I could write a whole essay on Diane and her trauma and how her writing career is a symbolic parallel to her learning how to cope with her trauma, but I’m gonna do my best to not ramble. I really like this conversation with PC, because it’s a major turning point for Diane in both of these parts of her life. She has spent so long trying to convince herself that her trauma had meaning, and she had to get that meaning out of it by using it to help other people. In parallel, she spent so long trying to convince herself that she had to write about these big, serious topics and make change with them to be a successful, impactful writer. It was only when she accepted that her trauma *wasn’t* for some grander purpose, that it wasn’t some important thing that happened to her so that she could change the world, that she was able to begin to move past it and start healing from it. She continued to try to rehash and live in her trauma because she coped by convincing herself that her damage would be worth something if she could use it to make the world a less shitty place. But trauma doesn’t have a greater meaning to it. Damage isn’t a superhero origin story. It’s just shitty things that happen to us, and we can either learn to deal with it in a healthy or an unhealthy way. When Diane is able to accept this, she’s able to start learning healthier ways to deal. The parallel to this one is pretty clear: when Diane is able to let go of her book of essays, she’s able to write something she enjoys that does make a meaningful impact on people. We’re even shown a direct example of this when she has the conversation with Sonny about the different themes in her book. I thought Diane’s depression arc was done really well, and I liked this specific episode in that perspective. There is some legwork to overcoming our trauma and toxic patterns; there’s no magic pill that’s going to make it all go away. But healing IS possible.
She wants her trauma to have meaning, then there is at least a reason for her suffering to ahe can turn it into a good lesson for others, thats what “good” damage is her
Bcuz damage is important and it does make us who we become even if it doesn’t lead to something fantastic or great
idk about this commenter, but this idea has come up in therapy a good bit for me. finding meaning in everything is a very human trait, but if you hold onto everything that doesn't make sense to you trying to find the meaning, you might never move on from that damage. is it worth it to find meaning in the damage if you don't get to enjoy all the other things in your life? it might be. you might find answers. or you might stay stuck thinking about the damage and miss out on all the potential.
And the response for princess Carolyn is the best. Is so simple yet so powerful.
What was that response again?
Here you go! (Mobile, sorry) https://youtu.be/enJda42gLcA
really love the top comment on that link "What Diane doesn't realize is that books and other media about damage and trauma isn't what made her feel less alone growing up. It was the corny happy family on Horsin' Around."
Diane's book goes a step further though. Guy's son, after reading it, said that some parts felt very real and that he thought "teen girls who are insecure can relate to it" while heavily implying that he did too. She did what she set out to do and was able to connect with people, but not through 'essays' but through the format of Horsin Around.
So true!! I actually left a very similar comment as well. Now that I'm an adult and am revisiting my trauma with the help of my therapist, I think about who and what made me feel a little less alone. It was books, with kids that felt like me.
Not to mention that she wouldn’t have written her detective book if everything before that hadn’t happened. Her damage was good anyway it just wasn’t as obvious as she might have thought
i love when princess caroline says, “then, if you can’t write that book, write this book.” it reiterates the validity in taking an alternate path than your desired or previously planned one. (;
As someone that went through their adolescence wanting to be a musician and especially as an aspiring musician that loved more melancholy and introspective works, this hit especially hard. I used to revel in misery because in my head I wanted the kind of rough background that would justify and make legitimate the lyrics I planned to make out of everything. It prevented me from growing for a long time, because I wouldn't internalize the bad things happening in my life - it became very easy to turn myself into the victim, because that narrative lent itself so strongly into the outcome I wanted. later, when I finally learned to drop or throw away those ideas as useless, it kind of pulled back the veil and let me dwell on how I'd been the architect of my own suffering for so long, which helped me grow past those habits. Not only was the damage "just damage" (useless); I'd sought it out for myself when I could have instead chosen to seek my own happiness.
Oof one of quite a few lines I felt so hard.
So, uh, I'm trans, and this is the sentiment I have right now. I pushed myself into the closet so hard, that now that I'm coming out I don't know why I did it. I hurt myself so much for so long and I just don't know why. I feel dumb for not having figured it out earlier, but what 12 year old is gonna figure out they're trans all on their own when all they've ever wanted to do was make their parents proud? It's just damage. I got nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable for nothing. Worst of all, I think I'm scared to be happy.
when i watched that scene i was in a very anxious point in my lofe and i related to it so much now being more level headed it made me realise we dont always need to makenour pain our prophecy we can simply just be- and let the pain move past. but i thank bojack (the show) for giving me something to relate to at that time so i knew i wasnt crazy
First one that came to mind, yes
This was honestly one of the hardest hitting quotes in the entire show for me
This quote is how I've been feeling these last couple of years
"Mr. Peepernutter! Mr. Peepernumber!" makes me laugh every time. In that same convo: "The drugs have something to say, and even though they are drugs, they come from SCIENCE, so let's give them a listen!"
On the same episode talking about the drugs "ooouch, I thought we were friends!"
I use the second one regularly to preface high thoughts I share with my spouse
Inspired my user name
My flair!
came to comment the mr.peepernumber bit as well, one of my faves!!!!! the cadence it’s said in? delish
What episode was this?
thats right, honey. drugs are great
“Look, the wedding was great, but that's not real life. I mean, I guess I got a happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, right? And the day after that. So, the wedding was so much fun, it was the happiest day of my life but, you know, what does that say about all the days I have left?”
This show has a really unique way of sending me into an existential crisis.
For real. I love it but sometimes it makes me drown in my own emotions. It can be hard to separate yourself from the dialogue and content sometimes if you feel you relate so much. That’s why I try not to watch it too much anymore. I enjoy it here and there but generally, I watched way too much during covid at my lowest in life and I felt so stuck inside my own head all the time about everything I was already dealing with and the dialogue just fed into it.
She hasn't tried drugs yet tbf so there's still time to top it
Sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living
I quote this one a lot
This is the one
This is the one, I believe this to be the most poignant line in the whole show, and I don’t say that lightly.
"I can't believe this country hates women more than it loves guns."
Prob my favorite interaction between Diane and PC honestly
No?
Perfect delivery on that syllable
Probably the most accurate observation in the whole show.
That episode and quote are SO good
The real reason you go to Vietnam is you accidentally see your soon-to-be ex-husband kiss someone else. At first you think, “Oh, it’s a fling; They’re drunk, it’s a party.” But then he puts his hand on the small of her back exactly the way he used to do to you. It means, “I’ve got you”, and when he did it to you it made you feel safe, and you realize he will never do that to you again. And it breaks your heart again, after your heart was so broken that you thought it can never get any more broken. You thought it was safe but it still somehow finds a new way to break. Because even though you’re the one who asked for this, now that you’ve got it, you’re completely adrift, with no compass or map or sense of where to go or what to do - so you go to Vietnam. You think you might find community, a connection to something bigger, but you don’t. In fact, you feel even more alone before you left. But you survive, you learn that you can survive being alone. I’m really happy for you Mr. Peanutbutter. This is what got me through when I was feeling alone.
This line in this episode after my 8 year relationship ending hit me so hard, it was the only show for me that really gave space to how it feels to leave someone you still deeply care for.
Did you like Vietnam?
Lol I wish
Me too. It’s the first time I’ve seen something that properly explains what the gut-punch of watching your ex thrive while you’re still in so much pain feels like. It’s horrible feeling happy for them but also deeply hurt that you’re no longer the most important people in each other’s lives. Diane gives me hope.
Came here to post this. Amazing scene!
Damn. This is going to happen to me as well :(
I've cried with this exact moment several times
all time favorite for some reason: BoJack: So, what do you think about Sarah Lynn? Diane: Oh, I don't really think about her all that much. I mean, obviously, I'm a fan of her early work which both satirized and celebrated youth culture's obsession with sex, but I do wonder as a third-wave feminist if it's even possible for women to reclaim their sexuality in this deeply entrenched patriarchal society, or if claiming to do so is just a lie we tell ourselves so we can more comfortably cater to the male gaze. But you know, on the other hand, I worry that conversations like this one often dismiss her as a mere puppet of the industry .. incapable of engaging in these discussions herself.. and infantilization, which is itself a product of the deeply misogynistic society we live in. *But like I said, I don't really think about her all that much.*
To this day I'm in not sure whether that speech is about how much Diane overthinks *everything*, or if its about Diane the serious adult journalist trying to downplay how much she thinks about the stuff she liked when she was in her early 20s.
For me it was always about how intelligent Diane is. Maybe even too intelligent for her own good.
Not only intelligent, but insightful. An example would be knowing publishing the simple fact that Jessica Biel hates avocado would be sufficient to torpedo her political career.
I see Diane's anxiety in this response. Her brain can't shut up. I only say this because my brain can't shut up, and it talks like this.
This was the line that made me realize I was watching something different than other shows. This observation is what got me hooked.
Love Bojack's "Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Male gaze. Exactly what I was thinking."
I occasionally write music reviews and I think about this quote more often than any other from the show. It's constantly relevant.
[удалено]
That one hits hard as a fan of pop punk and alt rock where a common joke in the community is “oh yeah, you like pop punk? Then name the age of consent in all 50 states”. The number of musicians in those scenes who have been canned for grooming/messing around with their underage fans or for sexually assaulting fans of any age is concerning and gross. Makes you wonder how many of those people were drawn to their profession because of the access they’d have to victims who would throw themselves at them. Like Dahvie Vanity, who would bring 13-14yo girls on his bus, and of course it would take no effort at all to get them there and take advantage of them because they were so excited their celebrity crush was paying attention to them. It’s like that joke “me realizing now that I did actually have a chance with all my favorite YouTubers when I was 12 years old”. It’s really fucking funny, but only because it’s so depressingly true.
I quote that one or at least the "allegedly" part a good bit too. Especially with people like Dr Luke allowed back into the mainstream.
Soo deep.
Whaaaaaaat? Get out of here.
Why would I get out of here?! This is *my* office! *You* get out of here!
This is my favorite PC line
Same
“I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster. At first glance it doesn’t seem to make any sense. If you squint at it just right. Everything lines up and it’s the most perfect, beautiful and amazing thing. But, I’m so tired of squinting…” The full thing is: Diane: You know sometimes I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster. Mr. Peanutbutter: I love those things Diane: I know. And it’s messy. And at first glance, it doesn’t seem to make any sense. And it’s hard to figure out. But sometimes if you squint at it just right everything lines up and it’s the most perfect...beautiful amazing thing. Mr. Peanutbutter: Yeah. I know what you mean Diane: But...I’m so tired of squinting.
This line made me cry. I related to this in a former relationship.
I was in a very sensible moment of my life/relationship when I watched that episode. It hit me so hard. It was as if Diane was putting out everything I was feeling in I way I couldn't manage to put out myself. Few months went by and finally I left after years of squinting. This show helped me get my shit together in more ways than I could have imagined.
This line broke me
"I'm probably just overthinking it because I never got the practice because I didn't get invited to any parties in high school. *What am I talking about?* You don't care about any of that. Shut up, Diane! You're at a party, compliment the host!" *inhales* "You have a lovely home."
That was hell of an opening line.
This bit right there immediately made me relate to Diane ngl
Man I relate to her a lot
My ASD ass relate so much to this quote. Like, "don't forget to say the script we have prepared for these events" "be polite".
Literally this
"This isn't fun for me! Being a woman is not a hobby or a pet interest of mine. You get to drop in, and play Joss Whedon, and everybody cheers. But when you move on to your next thing, I'm still here." It hits different and I use this quote occasionally when frustrated about male feminists who drop the activism after it’s done being popular
That Joss Whedon line aged well in the worst possible way...
MISTER PEEPERNUTTER!!! *MISTER PAPERNUMBER!!!!!!!!!*
“Why does anything matter, right? Love is an illusion and happiness is fleeting, there’s no such thing as God, and all your favorite musicians beat their wives. *Allegedly!*”
Diane was ICONIC during her depressed crashing at Bojack’s house arch.
The “allegedly” is something I quote ALL the time it’s gold
I use “Allegedly!” with her inflection as a quote all the time. It’s so good
i think this is the best one
This was my first thought tbh
I love this one! This was the first one I read and actually heard it in her voice
"Sometimes. Sometimes life's a bitch and you keep on living."
This was the thesis of the entire show and she said it
"I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge"
“I’m a pit that good things fall into!”
I related so hard to this line.
It's me, Hi, I'm the problem, it's me.
“Aww Drugs. I thought we were friends!!” Or something like that. Or “You chummed Dad?!”
“You *chummed* Dad?!“ might be the wildest line from the show to hear without context
It’s still pretty odd in context
i’d say understanding the context makes it even crazier a line.
Oh, really? “We had our sister plan and pay for a funeral for our dad and then at the last minute we changed our minds and just had him ground into chum that we put in a barrel and we’re gonna throw in Derek Jeter’s fat face and didn’t bother to tell her about it because the Sox game is on.” Now, which part of that seems crazy to you, smarty-pants?
"I'd hate to be driving down here at rush hour. When the sun goes down and hits that billboard, that's gonna--Thats gonna be a real problem." Or "Mr Peanutbutter, you know I love you and think you're a good dog. Yes you are. Yes you are and I love your cute funny face."
I laugh at that second quote every single time I rewatch the show.
Idea for a thing Princess Carolyn should do: Shut up.
I love Diane so much she is my favorite maybe tied with Todd, but she is the best
Idea for a new Pixar movie: what are pizza boxes thinkin’ about?
Not a serious quote but I always really loved the “Heyyy there’s a Cheez-it on the shelf. I knew I kept these things around for a reason!”
I feel like "Holy shit a falling kleeg light!" Is an underappreciated line.
Diane Diane what now?
This is possibly my favourite funny quote from the show by anyone. Diane has some fantastic poignant quotes but in terms of humour, this is my favourite.
So underrated on this thread
I feel all the time, like a garbage fire. And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley. But a barge floating out to sea, with no rudder. I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.
“I actually speak all of the English”
“Me am America! Me am America also!!”
What hits close would be on the ep Good Damage. "...all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?" or what she said during the earlier episodes. "Every happy ending has the day after the happy ending."
Either “I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever. I'm glad I knew you too." Or "Every happy ending has the day after "
While it technically wasn’t Diane, her voice saying “My day was good” is something I’ll never forget
Ikr and that also relating to when she was crashing at bojackacks and she was talking about how she just wanted to go home and have someone ask her how her day was, and she would only have to say: my day was... Good
I'm sure there were many different moods and interpretations people had of that, but to me her inflection was *haunting*, cold artificial distance.
"Even If No One Appreciates You, It's Important That You Don't Stop Being Good" This one stuck to me. Another one not from the show "If you do the right thing, usually nobody knows you did anything at all"
“You turn over the nothing and there’s just more nothing.” I can’t quite recall the exact quote but what she says about “good damage” in the episode of the same title.
"THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAAAHHHH!!"
Ugh why is it so daytime right now?
"The Trough! He wants the TROUGH!"
Diane: I wish I could have been the person you thought I was. The person who would save you. BoJack: That was never your job. Diane: Then why did you always make me feel like it was?
I really like Diane's quote from when she gets high with the Snatch Batch "... and sometimes I think I know myself, but maybe that's a trap. Because maybe *I am* Cool Sexy Diane or Really in Touch with Her Feelings Diane or possibly other Dianes we don't even know about yet. The point is, I am all of the Dianes."
MOTHER FU-
🎶 Back in the 90's I was in a very famous teeeee- 🎶
-UCKER!
“Bojack bojackkk BOJAACK did you know I can jungle” (something like that)
When she’s drunk: “boJarL”
“you got daughter? Rrruh roh!”
"I think I'm depressed." This line made me pause the show and call my doctor. I started Lexapro that week. I haven't felt as good as I do today in I honestly don't know how long.
you have a lovely home
I’m so tired of squinting. So sad but damn the delivery is phenomenal
"I don't think I believe in deep down. I kind of think all you are is just the things that you do." I bring it up all the time, completely agree with this idea. No such thing as a good person.
"I hope the cheerleaders don't stuff me in a locker and write 'VIRGIN SLUT' on my forehead and, when I ask how I can be both a virgin *and* a slut, they make me eat a lipstick"
I feel, all the time, like a garbage fire. And not a cozy dumpster in a quaint alley, but a barge, floating out to sea, with no rudder. I am a rudderless burning large garbage barge.
“ oh you didn’t hear? i changed the world” or sum like that
“Oh shit a falling Klieg light!”
Frack me, Mr. Peanutbutter.
Welllllll
reading these has made me realize she has some very funny lines
Not my favorite quote, but one I will never forget. And it's mostly how Alison Brie delivers it. When everyone is trapped underground, and her and Bojack are drinking together: "Why can't I be happy? Am I busted? I am! I'm a pit! I'm a pit that good things fall into!"
“I’m so tired of squinting” I think about it all the time
"You're gonna win that Oscar, and you're gonna go up on that stage and give your little speech, and then you're gonna go home..... and you're going to be so miserable you'll want to kill yourself. And you're going to have nobody left to stop you" Not sure why but that one gets stuck in my brain a lot
"Suck a dick dumbshits!" While peeling out
Bojack: "So you're like, what? the Black sheep?" Diane : "No, that's Gary. He's adopted".
a couple people posted a similar one of her quotes with the same basic idea, but since i used it as my yearbook quote i’ve gotta add my specific one “There are no good guys or bad guys, we’re all just…guys who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes” ever since i heard that, i’ve always tried to live my life by it. i’m not a “good person”, no one is. i just try to do good stuff as often as possible, and limit the bad stuff as much as possible. my family will say “you’re the best” or whatever, and i always just respond with “i try”, because it’s the truth. i try to do good.
“I REGRET EVERYTHING!” (when her and PS’s house falls under the ground).
"THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR." Makes me chuckle every time.
Oh, my God. Is that dad? Did someone draw balls on his forehead?
"Go sit on a sharp dick, you piece of shit"
Well, that's the problem with life, right? Either you know what you want, and you don't get what you want, or you get what you want, and then you don't know what you want.
Bojack. BOJACK! BA-JOOOOOCK. Did you know I can jungle?
Aweww druuuuugss, I thought we were friends!
“I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”
“I’m a sad sad girl with a terrible dirty apartment.”
Diane Diane what now?
“I’m so tired of squinting” my fav quote of entire series
Bojack: “well life’s a bitch then you die right?” Diane: “well, sometimes, life’s a bitch and you keep on living”
I’m just a dumb actor; what do I know about books?
"Hashtag Oh No!"
Im so tired of squinting
Diane, Diane, What now?
TONY CURTIS IS DEAD GODDAMMIT!!
Not everything has to be Chicago style!
"But I'm so tired of squinting."
Just loving reading these comments
“MR. PAPERNUMBER!!!”
Let’s see Paul Allen’s best ~~karma~~ quote
“There's no such thing as "bad guys" or "good guys." We're all just...guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff, and more good stuff!”
I don't think I believe in deep down. I kind of think all you are is the things you do.
“Either you know what you want and then you don't get what you want, or you get what you want and then you don't know what you want.”
"Sit on a sharp dick ya piece of ***shit***!"
“Every happy ending has the day after the happy ending”
"I need to tell you: thank you. And– It's going to be okay. And– I'm sorry. And– Thank you." My marriage shattered into pieces overnight, leaving me absolutely devastated. I've been doing my best to navigate the trauma, and work through the underlying issues of codependency, very much like Mr.Peanutbutter admits to doing earlier in the episode. I never got closure. She went no contact, and I have no intention of reaching out or crossing this boundary. Listening to this phrase feels almost like a substitute, a placebo to dull the pain. Like other main characters in the show, Diane has heaps of memorable and chills-down-the-spine quotes, but this one stood out to me – it's something I know I will never hear from the person I once held so close to my heart. I can only hope that one day my wish to hear this will fade as well.
Obviously it's "Motherf- \-ucker!"
this was kinda a throwaway line, but it really sticks with me: “i’m all of the dianes.” as someone who struggles with identity / who i am from day to day, this quote reminds me that i don’t have to be just one thing; all versions of myself are valid, real, and equally important
Her best quote is obviously "Frack me Mr. Peanutbutter"