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Honestly this is a gold digger situation. 50% equity and no mortgage obligation. Do not add her to the deed. If she doesn't like it may be better for you to move on. There are plenty of singles out there that are looking for a stable relationship with a nice guy and a house.
Right?! This is bizarre as hell that she's even asking this. It's giving major red flags IMO!! OP needs to wake up and see what's really going on here. There is zero need for her to be on the deed. And after six months?! Absolutely not. She needs to go!!!!
To add to this I am with my gf 7 years now and we put the house In my name, why? Because she is a student and I work full time. She is not in a bad spot and doesn't worry about this, just everything else in the world
Tldr: big red flags, don't budge
Yup. A lease provides the tenant protects she wants. You could even do a cohabitation. But do no put her on the deed as it will give her ownership interest even if she never puts a single dollar into it.
I assume that the utilities are way lower than renting a place. If she only pays for utilities, she can save the rest of the money and that’s her protection. Otherwise, it’s too early to live together and she can keep renting her place.
I can. Doctors are fucking stupid outside of medicine most of the time. They, like lawyers, get used to be “smart” and end up with brain rot for everything except their speciality
👆 I cosign this. 10+ years of intense focus on one complex subject can make many of us myopic & just plain stupid/inexperienced/delayed maturity in other important areas of life
As an accountant for high net worth individuals, the high earners in professional service industries (dentists, doctors, attorneys, etc) tend to have the worst financial literacy.
and sometimes doctors are stupid doctors 🤷🏼♂️. It happens. lol. (This isn’t me shit talking doctors. You find people in every profession that just aren’t that sharp)
Also, I’m not even saying this guy is dumb. Blinded by love seems like the likely answer. I totally get it. But yeah. Don’t put her on the deed.
I can back this up, my husband is an attorney, super smart in his field and academics, but he's lost in common sense in other areas. But this would definitely be one area he would know better. A gf of 6 months is a very short relationship and that's is completely wild to even consider putting her on the deed. That's a recipe for a disaster.
Doctors aren’t “smarter” than regular people with real world matters or relationships. They are just like the rest of us (or even worse because they work so much)
I think you already know this.. but there’s no reason why a gf of 6 months needs to be on the deed of a house you’re buying. Is she worried about moving into your house, breaking up and you not giving her ample time to find housing?
Draw up a lease agreement for her then. Have something in it where it says if the relationship ends or lease terminates early, she gets 1 month to find housing before the lease officially ends
And if she refuses to move out? I'd imagine evicting your ex-girlfriend from your home would be very stressful.
OP, I recommend that you simply continue the relationship without her moving in. It's too early to be living together anyway.
Under no circumstances do you put your 6 mth gf on the deed.
Exactly, very soon in the relationship to be making demands. OP I recommend you purchase your home and live separately for a while. While you may think you know everything about each other now, it’s just not possible to do in 6 months. She’s drawn a line in the sand about owning half your home and it’s a red flag in my opinion.
This for sure! I’ve been with my fiance 6 years (engaged 1-1/2) and she is 33 weeks pregnant. I seriously considered putting her on the deed since we weren’t married and because we fully intend to get married after the child is born, I put her on the house with me. But…
That is a major difference from a 6 month gf that’s letting outside people influence what her best interests are to “protect herself”. Normal people don’t suggest that you force your 6 month bf to put you on the house deed to lock you down. 6 months isn’t even enough time to start stripping away the layers of who you are to each other in this day and age.
BE CAREFUL!
Gonna tag in another helpful tip: if she moves in make sure she gets renters insurance for her own stuff (or just transfer it if she already has it). If something did happen (fire, etc), only things YOU own are covered by your home insurance. So she needs a renters policy to protect her own stuff.
Can you just write up a lease for her? It would be legit and she will be a renter like a roommate kind of deal. 10000% do not put her on the deed. So many red flags here.
I don’t care her reasoning is, you put her in the deed your giving her half the house. Tell her that she is welcome to continue to rent an apartment but you will not be contributing to the upkeep of said apartment or she can move in with you or you guys can break up.
This is it. And honestly, I’d consider breaking up. She’s potentially holding you back from a major investment. And she’s requesting half of your house. Massive red flags only six months in. 🚩
Sounds like her family is in cahoots. Hard to see when there are undoubtedly some powerful emotions at play, but as a bystander… yikes, this makes me very uncomfortable.
She could break up with him right after he puts her on the deed. Honestly I would break up with someone who thought they wete entitled to helf if my house that I purchased no mater how long we have been together unless they are paying half the mortgage.
Girlfriends do NOT go on the deed to the house. If you add her to the deed, the moment she decides she isn't feeling it one day, she's going to leave and walk away with half your house and she won't even need to wait to be married to cash in.
This happened to my ex-wife. She wanted to be petty so she moved on with her dating life while refusing to sign our divorce paperwork. Her grandfather died and left her something like $2 million to buy a house, which she did in-full and put her new boyfriend's name on the deed. She then finalized the divorce with me. The moment he didn't have to worry about me coming after the house anymore, he left her, went through lawyers to force her to sell the house, and made something like $850k off of the sale.
She is trying to get part ownership of the house, call her bluff and have her sign a lease agreement. What is the difference between her renting from someone else and you?
That's besides the point. Every couple has their own timeline. She could live there with a lease, by paying for the utilities, etc. without being on the deed.
Yeah, she can rent from you then. I agree with you that she shouldn't be on the deed. But I also agree with her that she needs some form of written agreement to say that she lives there. Make her a lease to the amount of utilities like you said, or whatever seems fair to both of you.
Some states (most? I have no idea) if you have all your stuff there, you live there, and you can’t legally be kicked out. I know because I tried to kick my girlfriend out and she called the cops. My state law (TN) says that if I want her out, I have to begin an eviction process.
Is she putting down half the deposit? Is she paying half the Mortgage? If so that makes sense. If not, Are you really going to give someone half of your home and hard earned money who you have known for 6 months?
So she just doesn’t move in with you? Let her keep her own place with her name on it, and you buy the house. You were planning to pay the full mortgage anyways…I’m sure the utilities cost is not an issue. 6 months is really early. I’d say that you understand her concern and that you don’t want her to feel like the relationship is unbalanced.
The only way this becomes weird is if you already live together. But it’s only been 6 months so I doubt that’s the case.
You don’t put gf names on deeds.
Whether she has a lease or not, pays rent or not, she would have renters protections after 30 days.
If she persists; do a lease.
At the end of the day, she just wants a piece of it in case you change your mind on the relationship. I'd separate from that situation entirely unless you were willing to entertain her offering half of whatever your down payment is. Either way, don't. Please just don't. Don't let someone's ultimatum dictate how you take care of this.
She doesn’t want to be left with nothing… but it sounds like she is contributing nothing to the home purchase? I guess she isn’t moving then. I hope you still are.
Edit: Does she also expect a potential landlord to put her on the deed?
I can guarantee the conversation with her friends went something like "so you're just helping pay his mortgage?" and that's the extent of the reasoning
If she's already freaking out about this AND taking bad advice from her family about your relationship then definitely don't put her on the deed. It's only been 6 months😬
Tough to pay off those loans when you’re also paying to rent an apartment for yourself while your ex-girlfriend lives in your house because she convinced you to put her name on the deed
What I've read from personal financiers is that dr's are very arrogant and assume they know everything better than everyone else, including investing, and usually make the WORST decisions financially despite their ridiculously high incomes.
Dating for only 6 months there is no way in hell I would put her on the deed. But that's just me. Her argument doesnt hold much water either. If things go south she can always go and rent again.
6 months? Hard no. Buy on your own but absolutely don’t put her on the deed. If she wants to rent have her get her own place. Why rush to live together ? If she is so worried are you even ready to live together ?
Right! Idk why more people aren’t talking about that part. Forget the deed. It’s been six months, why are you moving in together? You literally don’t know each other.
>she just wants to protect herself
Protect herself against WHAT? You are basically offering a rent-free place to live as long as she pays for utilities.
>She is worried that I can just kick her out one day and she is left with nothing.
She is correct that you could give her notice to vacate and she would walk away with her personal belongings (plus whatever she saves/invests because she's no longer paying for her own rental). What does she think she will walk away with if she leaves her current rental?
> Is there a document we can sign together to make her feel more secure
A marriage license.
But if the two of you (or even just one of you) aren't ready for marriage, there is no reason to sign anything other than a rental contract. You are buying a house and will have all the responsibility of maintaining it, repairing it, insuring it, paying the taxes and paying for the actual house itself. If she wants to be on the deed, she needs to pony up a down payment and have means to pay her share of all the other things too.
You're doing it right. She has no entitlement to the benefits of ownership or marriage without actually being owner or married.
Not sure why she thinks this is a bad deal. She can stash away what she would otherwise be paying on her own rental.
Your gf is just butt-hurt, probably jealous and is feeling a power-imbalance in the relationship. This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong and it certainly doesn't mean you gift her half your house.
When my boyfriend first told me he doesn’t want me on the loan or deed, I had a moment where I felt like this too and I was reading nonstop to try and understand how this can work without me getting screwed in the end. It took a day or two but we were able to chat and work it out. I realized I wasn’t being rational. I was being emotional and taking it personally. This is a huge deal and you can’t just add a girlfriend of six months or even a year to the deed if you don’t have plans to get married. You need to be smart.
Even *with* plans to get married, it's so much simpler to get the marriage license and do any name-changing first, and then buy the house together as a married couple. No need to do the wedding first, just the legal part. So many unmarried couples come here asking for a legal agreement to protect themselves when that's what marriage does.
I always tell them: If you're not fully emotionally prepared to sign a marriage license with your partner *today*, then what makes you think you're prepared for the responsibilities of owning property together?
Move into your new home withOUT her.
She is being waaay too pushy for 6 months.
Find a woman who wants you for you, not for a potential home.
Run, friend, run.
She is right to want to protect herself, and so are you. But why the hell are you having this deep, heavy shit six months in?
Everybody should calm tf down. What's the rush?
If you buy a house with your money and you are not married to her, put it in only your name. It is your money (and in this case, your career) that got you this opportunity. You put in the time. She may be the best woman you have ever met by far, but she's been around for six months. How long have you been working toward your goals? You are not being greedy by honoring your own hard work and buying a home you like.
Also, it sounds like she can live there rent free and contribute to other expenses and you are happy with that. Does she work? Presuming she works and lives with you, she should be able to save a significant portion of her own money. She won't "walk away with nothing" if you guys split up. She also gets to live without the financial pressure that comes with a mortgage.
Don't get manipulated or guilted into capitulation. Y'all need to talk it out now. If you do get married some day, you can always change the paperwork.
I would never put a boyfriend on my deed. I would also make him have a lease with me. I worked to hard to get where I am to share that. If this person was paying part of the mortgage and for home upgrades, maybe, but paying utilities is not deed worthy if you are not married. You may also want to rethink this relationship or at least moving in together.
Do not add her to the deed. The fact that she thinks it’s a reasonable expectation to be added to the deed after 6 months of dating should be a major red flag for you.
Sketchy as hell. She does not need to be co owner of your home. I understand why someone wouldn't want that power dynamic, but she doesn't have to move in with you. If I was dating some guy for 6 months and he said he wanted to be on the deed and then guilt tripped me about it and I wasn't making him move in with me, I personally would tell him to get lost.
lol. Not on the deed. If she wants protection, wear a condom.
But honestly, write up and agreement that if you break up she has two weeks to leave or something like that and have her give you a security deposit. Basically a roommate month to month lease from eforms and have it just say she covers utilities. Easy peasy. Don’t give her the deed. That’s completely fucking stupid.
As a woman who was only able to physically escape an abusive situation because the house was 100% in her name, and her ex (male, not married, not employed, scrub, literally psychotic as it turns out) was not on the deed? DO NOT DO IT, BRO.
I don’t listen to everything Dave Ramsay says, but one thing I DO agree with is “Don’t own property with people you aren’t married to and don’t pretend to be married to someone who isn’t your spouse.” You’ve been together for six months. You don’t know someone in six months. Make her a lease so that she can feel secure in her living situation.
If she ain't a wife or he ain't a husband, they DO NOT GO ON THE DEED PERIOD!!! It throws a giant wrench in things always. Marry her first. If you don't like that thought then you DEFINITELY don't want her on the deed. By the way, she's right. You can kick her out at anytime because she's just the girlfriend having a sleepover. If I were her I'd be happy for my partner but get my own place.
>By the way, she's right. You can kick her out at anytime because she's just the girlfriend having a sleepover.
not in all areas. she might gain tenecy after being there for a certain amount of time depending on where they life. after 30 days if she lived in NY he would not be able to kick her out without going though the formal eviction process.
No, she’s not just having a sleepover. If she lives there she has the legal rights of a tenant in any landlord-tenant situation.
Write up a lease to clarify everything.
Don't do it. I'm a mortgage lender and have this conversation all the time. While I can see the point she's trying to make, you can always add her to the deed after the fact if/when you get married. If you put her on the deed now, she can try to get money out of you if you break up. She can also force you to sell the house if your state has a petition to partition. Way safer to buy all on your own now, if things work out, she can be part of the house at that point.
A story as old as time. Naturally, the guy is a doctor. This woman sees the dollar signs and knows exactly what she's doing. After she imbeds herself with offspring, she won't be able to pay those utilities anymore because "it just makes more sense to stay home and take care of the children." Then she'll walk away with a huge payout and leave the guy in emotional shambles.
People are so predictable and basic that they should be lumped in with the Department of Wildlife.
Do not add someone to the deed that isn't splitting expenses 50/50!
Let her rent. Get a roommate with a lease to help you pay your mortgage easier.
Do not be manipulated by GF to add her to the deed.
No debt, no deed… My now wife and I purchased a condo together about 3 months into our relationship. Both on the mortgage, both on the deed. ( joint tenancy with no rights of survivorship… for the legal minded )
Honestly, this sounds like a way to strong arm you into adding her name onto the deed. It's 6 months man. You are not even over the honeymoon phase yet.
As with the other commenters, I don't think it would be wise to add her on since you aren't married. I've heard of horror stories of people who buy together but aren't married and end up splitting up and it becomes a headache.
I am in a similar situation, my SO and I (not married) picked a house together but I am the sole person on paper. I don't ask, nor expect, and monetary contributions as I am the one responsible and honestly even if we did get married I am not sure I would even add them on at that point. They live rent free/highly subsidized and what does it matter if they are on the deed or not?
A very real conversation we had was that, I shouldn't buy banking on their contribution, but just what I solo was comfortable paying. This was to protect both of us in the case we split up and I would be stretched thin/ they would have nothing to show for their investment and basically be left with nothing.
If she wants a lease, she could go sign one to have her own place and live majority at your place? I guess I am confused about what she thinks she's entitled to? Is she helping put money somewhere (furniture, appliances etc?).
This makes no sense to me. Of course she doesn’t want to move to a place she could get kicked out of on a whim (who wants that, just burn outs and that type). Of course you don’t want her name on your house. Why not just live apart? She can get a female roommate (fun, stable for her) you get your house. Easy
I can understand why your girlfriend would feel insecure, however, unless she’s coming up with half the down payment and half the mortgage payment, she has no right to insist on that. You absolutely should not add her to the deed or the mortgage unless you two are getting married. If you are unsure at this time, let her live with you and pay utilities. That seems like a very fair arrangement. If it doesn’t work out, she can just leave.
Don’t put her on the deed. She’ll move in eventually and if she doesn’t, red flag. I’m usually all about going in together equally but 6 months is way too early for her to feel entitled to anything
Red flags mate. You’re only six months in and she’s already trying to financially benefit on a home she’s not putting a cent towards? Absolutely the fuck not. The only document she should be signing is a lease agreement between you two. If she wants to be on the deed, she needs to contribute at least 50% towards the down payment and closing costs.
That's a wife level subscription.
You're currently at girlfriend level subscription and still very much under the one year trial period.
If the red flags aren't obvious by now, I don't know what to tell you.
Dated my now wife for four years and we decided to buy before marrying. My FIL was adamant that I not be on the deed since it was her down payment. I didn't make it a big deal and put my name on it a year after we married. Your GF shouldn't make a big deal either. It sounds like a money grab to me.
It's crazy we've got physicians in the pipeline that are this dumb, like holy shit. Do you post on Reddit about which shoe goes on the left and which goes on the right? Each morning?
Why is a 6 month GF putting a pause on buying your own property? I understand men are having trouble getting girls now a days but this is ridiculously desperate behavior. Just because your 6 month girlfriend says she won’t move in with you, it puts a pause or halts you from buying your own property 🤦🏻♂️. This is sad.
She can rent from you and sign a rental agreement. Do not put her on the deed unless you want her to own half of your home.
Also, what is with the ultimatum? Tread lightly friend.
You haven’t been together long enough to move in together. You should NEVER put a girlfriend on the deed to your house.
You are the one getting the mortgage and taking all the financial risk, don’t do it!
Ok so she doesn’t have to move with you then. Problem solved. Of course HER friends and HER family want her name on the house. That would be a wonderful con if you did it. And don’t ever let her pay mortgage or she will have a claim to the house.
>She either says we rent, or she is not moving.
Then that is her decision to make, not yours. Under no circumstances should you put your 6-month girlfriend on the deed of your new house nor concede to her ultimatum.
Coming from a woman here:
Doctor? House? (Which I’m assuming is a nice house) Only dating 6 months?! Friends and family giving advice? Her trying to guilt trip (manipulate) you into doing it?!!
Yea no…Sorry bro, but it sounds like she is scheming and trying to lock you in. Major red flag. DO NOT put her on the lease. You may want to reconsider the relationship too.
HAHAHA dude. Listen to me. If she doesn't want to move in because she's NOT on the deed, you tell her it's OK. She's for the streets my guy, no fucking way you're putting her on the deed. No way.
Yikes. 😬 On what planet does a girlfriend of 6 month rate property rights?
You may actually want to reconsider a serious relationship with this woman. Kinda wild she’s making demands like this so early on.
You can’t be a doctor and be that stupid. You’ve been with her 6 months and she’s a GIRLFRIEND. She does not get to own half the house. If she doesn’t want to live with you free then she can live by herself and you can date her until you decide if you want to get married. Her name can be on her own lease.
My friend bought a house with his gf. After she cheated on him, he wanted to sell the house, but she kicked him out, called the cops on him, and refused to sell. She was a crazy bitch and they did eventually sell, but that one year probably took 5 years off his life.
1) never put a gf on a title/deed, regardless of how long you've been together
2) have you guys even lived together full time anywhere yet? It's a totally different dynamic having a SO in YOUR space, no matter how good the relationship is.
3) can she afford the mortgage payment AND utilities ON HER OWN should you be out of a job or worse, something happen to you?
4) are her credit/Financials as good as or better than yours?
If the answer to 2, 3 and 4 are no, then there is your answer.
My GF and I practically lived together at my parents for 3-4 years while I was saving for a house, I knew we would be solid together and having been together for 5+yr I knew nothing was happening with our relationship going forward, but I still didn't want her on the deed until we marry. Her mother loaded with terrible advice was whispering in her ear but luckily my gf has way better financial sense than her (helps I've been coaching her) and would actually listen to me and talk with me about it. At the end of the day I asked her if she felt comfortable exposing herself to that much risk that if something were to happen to me would she be able to handle it all and she said no. So why expose yourself to it?
At the end of the day, she's still going to live there, it will still be her house in every way except the deed. And we worked it out where I take 100% of the mortgage payments and she handles the month to month expenses since I make nearly double her income and we have been fine about a year now.
Unless she’s fronting a huge down payment on this house she has no skin in this game and what’s she’s asking for is ridiculous. Your proposal for her to cover utilities while you cover the mortgage and house maintenance is absolutely reasonable and appropriate. She’s an idiot because it’s likely that even all the utilities are less than half of what she would pay in rent if she got an apartment.
If she’s worried about security then a simple lease agreement between you and her should be sufficient. Tell her she’ll have the same protections as a tenant but that she will not be going on the deed and her reaction will tell you everything you need to know about how to proceed in the relationship.
Yeah no. My partner bought a house when we'd been together for 3 years. I am not on any docs, I pay half the mortgage, we've been together 7 years now. Before buying, I fully agreed I'd just move out if anything happened with us (knowing i'd never have the ability to care for it on my own lol).
6 months is insane to be putting her on the deed of a house she's not buying.
Huge red flag. I wouldn't even continue this relationship. It's pretty clear that she's more interested in what you have than who you are.
I'd tell her thanks for the heads up and showing me what you're really about, then go on my way.
Not only is moving her in and putting her on the mortgage at this point a bad idea, but I think you're missing LARGE red flags when it comes to this relationship lol
You have nearly 1k comments saying the same thing lol but here's my two cents.
I worked mortgage complaints, I had a customer going through court with his ex gf over child support. Her name was on the deed, not the note, and he wanted to see if the bank would be responsible for her half.
The bank isn't responsible for it, it's a civil matter, he has to pay her what she's owed.
You get the house, you get only your name on the deed, she gets a rental agreement. Best way to do it.
She didn’t contribute to buying the house, she has no right to it.
She wants to rent? Write up a lease agreement..
DO NOT risk all your hard work buying a home over a chick you’ve been dating for 6 months.
I’ve been dating my GF for 2 years and I bought a house on my own. She’s not on the lease and she understands. She still moved in with me and contributes to the mortgage and bills
Please, please DO NOT put her on the deed of your new home unless she comes to the table with half the down payment and pays half the mortgage!! Offer her a lease agreement and detail specifically what should occur if you break up. 6 months is not a long period of time. Protect yourself and your future. If she refuses to move in to your place without her name being on the deed, get rid of her. And rent out a room if you need help with your mortgage.
You should buy your house and your GF should keep her rental. That way you can focus on getting to know her more. I sense a red flag 🚩with her expectations this soon / early in the relationship. It’s okay if she doesn’t move in yet.
Imagine me in the crowd of people holding up a sign that says DON'T DO IT.
I'm not one that thinks you absolutely MUST be married, but 6 months is nowhere near the commitment level where you let someone on the deed to your house.
If she wants to feel secure, make her an official tenant. Then her name is attached to it and she has whatever rights and protections your jurisdiction provides tenants plus whatever you put in the rental contract.
Nope. Not after 6 months. Maybe never if she's dropping ultimatums like that. You sure you still want to date someone who uses ultimatums as a way to "discuss" things with you?
You've only been dating for 6 months. That's not long. Don't add her to the deed. Instead, draft a rental contract in accordance to your local landlord-tenant laws so that you "can't just kick her out," and she has to pay you rent. If that's a dealbreaker for her, you dodged a bullet.
My partner and I have been together for almost 8 years. He's the one with the funds to purchase a home because of his parents' passing. I'm in school, so our arrangement is that I will be his tenant until I graduate, we marry, and I'm at least 6 months into a job I actually like. My only ask is that we have at least 1.5 bathrooms and absolutely no HOA.
So TL;DR - either she agrees to be your renter and you have a rental agreement or you separate.
Buy the house and live separately. Can you not date and live separately? If she feels more secure with her name on a lease than she should do that.
Yes, it's going to cost more financially. But her peace of mind is worth it. Down the road if you two decide to become more committed, the. You can revisit the topic.
Her friends and family seem shady for suggesting she ask to be on the deed. I wouldn't be shocked if she reacts poorly and throws a tantrum when you tell her she won't be included on the deed.
At 6 months into the relationship... ABSOLUTELY NOT! If she chooses to keep a separate apartment... Let Her! But Do not give her Half of your asset just because! Anything could go bad and now you would have to pay her off to get her out of the picture.
Reading your post makes my head hurt. You already seem as if you don’t want your GF of 6 months to be on the deed of the home you are about to purchase. Her ultimatum is either you put her name on the deed or she is not moving. To me, this is a very clear and easy decision. She simply will not be moving b/c there is no way I would put her name on the deed. Period. If she doesn’t understand that, then she doesn’t have your best interest in mind.
If she really loves you, she would take the option of not being on the deed. You have to protect yourself. Think of it this way: do you think she would put you on her deed if the role was reversed?
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Nope. Do not put her on the deed. She'll then own half that house going forward even if she breaks up with you the next day. Draw up a lease.
And she's not on the mortgage. Its the best of both worlds for her.
Honestly this is a gold digger situation. 50% equity and no mortgage obligation. Do not add her to the deed. If she doesn't like it may be better for you to move on. There are plenty of singles out there that are looking for a stable relationship with a nice guy and a house.
Right?! This is bizarre as hell that she's even asking this. It's giving major red flags IMO!! OP needs to wake up and see what's really going on here. There is zero need for her to be on the deed. And after six months?! Absolutely not. She needs to go!!!!
Asking for this after 6 months of dating is insane. Move along.
To add to this I am with my gf 7 years now and we put the house In my name, why? Because she is a student and I work full time. She is not in a bad spot and doesn't worry about this, just everything else in the world Tldr: big red flags, don't budge
> Hello, I’ve been with my girlfriend for 6 months Red flags abound. Either she’s hot or OP is a desperate dude
Yup. A lease provides the tenant protects she wants. You could even do a cohabitation. But do no put her on the deed as it will give her ownership interest even if she never puts a single dollar into it.
I assume that the utilities are way lower than renting a place. If she only pays for utilities, she can save the rest of the money and that’s her protection. Otherwise, it’s too early to live together and she can keep renting her place.
Totally agree with this, too soon to even be living together. Also be sure to use birth control.
I use to do mortgages… do not I repeat do not put her on the deed.
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I can. Doctors are fucking stupid outside of medicine most of the time. They, like lawyers, get used to be “smart” and end up with brain rot for everything except their speciality
👆 I cosign this. 10+ years of intense focus on one complex subject can make many of us myopic & just plain stupid/inexperienced/delayed maturity in other important areas of life
As an accountant for high net worth individuals, the high earners in professional service industries (dentists, doctors, attorneys, etc) tend to have the worst financial literacy.
This doesn't surprise me, more money coming in makes people pay less attention because all of their bills are being paid
and sometimes doctors are stupid doctors 🤷🏼♂️. It happens. lol. (This isn’t me shit talking doctors. You find people in every profession that just aren’t that sharp) Also, I’m not even saying this guy is dumb. Blinded by love seems like the likely answer. I totally get it. But yeah. Don’t put her on the deed.
I can back this up, my husband is an attorney, super smart in his field and academics, but he's lost in common sense in other areas. But this would definitely be one area he would know better. A gf of 6 months is a very short relationship and that's is completely wild to even consider putting her on the deed. That's a recipe for a disaster.
Doctors aren’t “smarter” than regular people with real world matters or relationships. They are just like the rest of us (or even worse because they work so much)
I think you already know this.. but there’s no reason why a gf of 6 months needs to be on the deed of a house you’re buying. Is she worried about moving into your house, breaking up and you not giving her ample time to find housing?
her reason is she doesn’t feel comfortable moving into a place without her name on it. with renting her name would be on it is her thought process
Draw up a lease agreement for her then. Have something in it where it says if the relationship ends or lease terminates early, she gets 1 month to find housing before the lease officially ends
And if she refuses to move out? I'd imagine evicting your ex-girlfriend from your home would be very stressful. OP, I recommend that you simply continue the relationship without her moving in. It's too early to be living together anyway. Under no circumstances do you put your 6 mth gf on the deed.
Contract or not she would be a tenant if she lives there for long
Exactly, very soon in the relationship to be making demands. OP I recommend you purchase your home and live separately for a while. While you may think you know everything about each other now, it’s just not possible to do in 6 months. She’s drawn a line in the sand about owning half your home and it’s a red flag in my opinion.
This for sure! I’ve been with my fiance 6 years (engaged 1-1/2) and she is 33 weeks pregnant. I seriously considered putting her on the deed since we weren’t married and because we fully intend to get married after the child is born, I put her on the house with me. But… That is a major difference from a 6 month gf that’s letting outside people influence what her best interests are to “protect herself”. Normal people don’t suggest that you force your 6 month bf to put you on the house deed to lock you down. 6 months isn’t even enough time to start stripping away the layers of who you are to each other in this day and age. BE CAREFUL!
Gonna tag in another helpful tip: if she moves in make sure she gets renters insurance for her own stuff (or just transfer it if she already has it). If something did happen (fire, etc), only things YOU own are covered by your home insurance. So she needs a renters policy to protect her own stuff.
Can you just write up a lease for her? It would be legit and she will be a renter like a roommate kind of deal. 10000% do not put her on the deed. So many red flags here.
I don’t care her reasoning is, you put her in the deed your giving her half the house. Tell her that she is welcome to continue to rent an apartment but you will not be contributing to the upkeep of said apartment or she can move in with you or you guys can break up.
This is it. And honestly, I’d consider breaking up. She’s potentially holding you back from a major investment. And she’s requesting half of your house. Massive red flags only six months in. 🚩
u/mrdrsir1 this is the way.
So her on the deed mean she has some ownership…. But you are responsible for the mortgage. So if you brake u you have to buy her out
This right here. She know exactly what she’s doing and using guilt tactics for you to cave in!
Yes and she knows this. I'd just end it now if this is how she's treating you
Sounds like her family is in cahoots. Hard to see when there are undoubtedly some powerful emotions at play, but as a bystander… yikes, this makes me very uncomfortable.
She could break up with him right after he puts her on the deed. Honestly I would break up with someone who thought they wete entitled to helf if my house that I purchased no mater how long we have been together unless they are paying half the mortgage.
That's bullshit. Tell her no and move on.
If her priority is protecting herself, your priority should be protecting yourself.
Girlfriends do NOT go on the deed to the house. If you add her to the deed, the moment she decides she isn't feeling it one day, she's going to leave and walk away with half your house and she won't even need to wait to be married to cash in. This happened to my ex-wife. She wanted to be petty so she moved on with her dating life while refusing to sign our divorce paperwork. Her grandfather died and left her something like $2 million to buy a house, which she did in-full and put her new boyfriend's name on the deed. She then finalized the divorce with me. The moment he didn't have to worry about me coming after the house anymore, he left her, went through lawyers to force her to sell the house, and made something like $850k off of the sale.
Sounds like she met the ultimate petty!
She is trying to get part ownership of the house, call her bluff and have her sign a lease agreement. What is the difference between her renting from someone else and you?
Then buy the house and she can stay in her apartment.
Easy. Make her a rental agreement. She will have normal tenants rights . Do NOT put her on the deed. That is crazy talk.
6 months in she shouldn’t be moving in anyway. Do not do this.
That's besides the point. Every couple has their own timeline. She could live there with a lease, by paying for the utilities, etc. without being on the deed.
Rent to her with a lease agreement.
Yeah, she can rent from you then. I agree with you that she shouldn't be on the deed. But I also agree with her that she needs some form of written agreement to say that she lives there. Make her a lease to the amount of utilities like you said, or whatever seems fair to both of you.
Some states (most? I have no idea) if you have all your stuff there, you live there, and you can’t legally be kicked out. I know because I tried to kick my girlfriend out and she called the cops. My state law (TN) says that if I want her out, I have to begin an eviction process.
Do you feel comfortable giving her half your house if your relationship doesn’t work out?
Then don’t let her move in. Period.
Is she putting down half the deposit? Is she paying half the Mortgage? If so that makes sense. If not, Are you really going to give someone half of your home and hard earned money who you have known for 6 months?
It still does not make any sense whatsoever to purchase property with someone you're not only not married to, but have only been dating for 6 months.
So she just doesn’t move in with you? Let her keep her own place with her name on it, and you buy the house. You were planning to pay the full mortgage anyways…I’m sure the utilities cost is not an issue. 6 months is really early. I’d say that you understand her concern and that you don’t want her to feel like the relationship is unbalanced. The only way this becomes weird is if you already live together. But it’s only been 6 months so I doubt that’s the case.
You don’t put gf names on deeds. Whether she has a lease or not, pays rent or not, she would have renters protections after 30 days. If she persists; do a lease.
Have you ever considered just not moving in together until you’re married and sharing assets?
At the end of the day, she just wants a piece of it in case you change your mind on the relationship. I'd separate from that situation entirely unless you were willing to entertain her offering half of whatever your down payment is. Either way, don't. Please just don't. Don't let someone's ultimatum dictate how you take care of this.
Just buy the house. If she breaks up with you fine. If she doesn’t then you guys have a house. Don’t put her name on it
DO. NOT. PUT. HER. ON. THE. DEED!
#DO.NOT.PUT.HER.ON.THE.DEED
Louder for the people in the back
DON’T YOU DARE PUT HER ON THAT FOCKING DEED!
Please please do not.
She doesn’t want to be left with nothing… but it sounds like she is contributing nothing to the home purchase? I guess she isn’t moving then. I hope you still are. Edit: Does she also expect a potential landlord to put her on the deed?
I can guarantee the conversation with her friends went something like "so you're just helping pay his mortgage?" and that's the extent of the reasoning
I'd put money on this accuracy. This is exactly how it goes.
Yeah, but this women would pay someone else’s with renting. Dumb logic
Unless you’re married to her and lifetime wife DO NOT ADD HER TO THE Deed!
Period.
End of story.
End of discussion.
Point finale.
Fin.
If she's already freaking out about this AND taking bad advice from her family about your relationship then definitely don't put her on the deed. It's only been 6 months😬
Here is your answer. Bro you are a doctor, you should be smarter then this. 6 months?!
Doctors are notoriously bad financial decision makers.
And they don't always listen to sound advice.
Got a buddy of mine that's a doctor in his 60s dude is still paying on his student loans from medical school.
Tough to pay off those loans when you’re also paying to rent an apartment for yourself while your ex-girlfriend lives in your house because she convinced you to put her name on the deed
Bro you got through medical school and residency and somehow this is confusing to you. That’s more concerning to me.
If you’ve ever worked in the medical field with doctors, this isn’t actually surprising 😂
What I've read from personal financiers is that dr's are very arrogant and assume they know everything better than everyone else, including investing, and usually make the WORST decisions financially despite their ridiculously high incomes.
This made me laugh
Had to scroll WAY too far to see this comment. Best one here. Also, don't do it, OP.
Dating for only 6 months there is no way in hell I would put her on the deed. But that's just me. Her argument doesnt hold much water either. If things go south she can always go and rent again.
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Ain’t that the truth
6 months? Hard no. Buy on your own but absolutely don’t put her on the deed. If she wants to rent have her get her own place. Why rush to live together ? If she is so worried are you even ready to live together ?
Right! Idk why more people aren’t talking about that part. Forget the deed. It’s been six months, why are you moving in together? You literally don’t know each other.
6 months? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 boy
She wants to be on the it, then she can buy half. I know too many stories where this goes wrong
This can ONLY go wrong for OP, there is no outcome where he is better off for doing in the long run.
No no no no I repeat NO. I could write a thesis on this, but I’ll just finish by saying NOOOOOO.
>she just wants to protect herself Protect herself against WHAT? You are basically offering a rent-free place to live as long as she pays for utilities. >She is worried that I can just kick her out one day and she is left with nothing. She is correct that you could give her notice to vacate and she would walk away with her personal belongings (plus whatever she saves/invests because she's no longer paying for her own rental). What does she think she will walk away with if she leaves her current rental? > Is there a document we can sign together to make her feel more secure A marriage license. But if the two of you (or even just one of you) aren't ready for marriage, there is no reason to sign anything other than a rental contract. You are buying a house and will have all the responsibility of maintaining it, repairing it, insuring it, paying the taxes and paying for the actual house itself. If she wants to be on the deed, she needs to pony up a down payment and have means to pay her share of all the other things too. You're doing it right. She has no entitlement to the benefits of ownership or marriage without actually being owner or married. Not sure why she thinks this is a bad deal. She can stash away what she would otherwise be paying on her own rental. Your gf is just butt-hurt, probably jealous and is feeling a power-imbalance in the relationship. This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong and it certainly doesn't mean you gift her half your house.
100% agree. solid response I could not have said it better.
When my boyfriend first told me he doesn’t want me on the loan or deed, I had a moment where I felt like this too and I was reading nonstop to try and understand how this can work without me getting screwed in the end. It took a day or two but we were able to chat and work it out. I realized I wasn’t being rational. I was being emotional and taking it personally. This is a huge deal and you can’t just add a girlfriend of six months or even a year to the deed if you don’t have plans to get married. You need to be smart.
Even *with* plans to get married, it's so much simpler to get the marriage license and do any name-changing first, and then buy the house together as a married couple. No need to do the wedding first, just the legal part. So many unmarried couples come here asking for a legal agreement to protect themselves when that's what marriage does. I always tell them: If you're not fully emotionally prepared to sign a marriage license with your partner *today*, then what makes you think you're prepared for the responsibilities of owning property together?
Move into your new home withOUT her. She is being waaay too pushy for 6 months. Find a woman who wants you for you, not for a potential home. Run, friend, run.
Echoing everyone else’s reaction, only an idiot would put a 6 month gf/bf on the deed
Why do I feel like the logic will be something like "what's the problem unless you're planning on dumping me at some point?"
She is right to want to protect herself, and so are you. But why the hell are you having this deep, heavy shit six months in? Everybody should calm tf down. What's the rush? If you buy a house with your money and you are not married to her, put it in only your name. It is your money (and in this case, your career) that got you this opportunity. You put in the time. She may be the best woman you have ever met by far, but she's been around for six months. How long have you been working toward your goals? You are not being greedy by honoring your own hard work and buying a home you like. Also, it sounds like she can live there rent free and contribute to other expenses and you are happy with that. Does she work? Presuming she works and lives with you, she should be able to save a significant portion of her own money. She won't "walk away with nothing" if you guys split up. She also gets to live without the financial pressure that comes with a mortgage. Don't get manipulated or guilted into capitulation. Y'all need to talk it out now. If you do get married some day, you can always change the paperwork.
PASS.
I would never put a boyfriend on my deed. I would also make him have a lease with me. I worked to hard to get where I am to share that. If this person was paying part of the mortgage and for home upgrades, maybe, but paying utilities is not deed worthy if you are not married. You may also want to rethink this relationship or at least moving in together.
Do not add her to the deed. The fact that she thinks it’s a reasonable expectation to be added to the deed after 6 months of dating should be a major red flag for you.
Sketchy as hell. She does not need to be co owner of your home. I understand why someone wouldn't want that power dynamic, but she doesn't have to move in with you. If I was dating some guy for 6 months and he said he wanted to be on the deed and then guilt tripped me about it and I wasn't making him move in with me, I personally would tell him to get lost.
lol. Not on the deed. If she wants protection, wear a condom. But honestly, write up and agreement that if you break up she has two weeks to leave or something like that and have her give you a security deposit. Basically a roommate month to month lease from eforms and have it just say she covers utilities. Easy peasy. Don’t give her the deed. That’s completely fucking stupid.
As a woman who was only able to physically escape an abusive situation because the house was 100% in her name, and her ex (male, not married, not employed, scrub, literally psychotic as it turns out) was not on the deed? DO NOT DO IT, BRO.
Do not put her on the deed.
It’s easier to remove a gf than remove a gf from a deed.
Dude this is not normal.
I don’t listen to everything Dave Ramsay says, but one thing I DO agree with is “Don’t own property with people you aren’t married to and don’t pretend to be married to someone who isn’t your spouse.” You’ve been together for six months. You don’t know someone in six months. Make her a lease so that she can feel secure in her living situation.
If she ain't a wife or he ain't a husband, they DO NOT GO ON THE DEED PERIOD!!! It throws a giant wrench in things always. Marry her first. If you don't like that thought then you DEFINITELY don't want her on the deed. By the way, she's right. You can kick her out at anytime because she's just the girlfriend having a sleepover. If I were her I'd be happy for my partner but get my own place.
Legally evict is not kicking out. Regardless take the upvote.
>By the way, she's right. You can kick her out at anytime because she's just the girlfriend having a sleepover. not in all areas. she might gain tenecy after being there for a certain amount of time depending on where they life. after 30 days if she lived in NY he would not be able to kick her out without going though the formal eviction process.
No, she’s not just having a sleepover. If she lives there she has the legal rights of a tenant in any landlord-tenant situation. Write up a lease to clarify everything.
Don't do it. I'm a mortgage lender and have this conversation all the time. While I can see the point she's trying to make, you can always add her to the deed after the fact if/when you get married. If you put her on the deed now, she can try to get money out of you if you break up. She can also force you to sell the house if your state has a petition to partition. Way safer to buy all on your own now, if things work out, she can be part of the house at that point.
Sniff sniff. What’s that I smell. Sniff. Ah yes it’s the stench of a gold digger.
A story as old as time. Naturally, the guy is a doctor. This woman sees the dollar signs and knows exactly what she's doing. After she imbeds herself with offspring, she won't be able to pay those utilities anymore because "it just makes more sense to stay home and take care of the children." Then she'll walk away with a huge payout and leave the guy in emotional shambles. People are so predictable and basic that they should be lumped in with the Department of Wildlife.
My dude. Run, run far away and never come back
She’s insane. Sorry.
Do not add someone to the deed that isn't splitting expenses 50/50! Let her rent. Get a roommate with a lease to help you pay your mortgage easier. Do not be manipulated by GF to add her to the deed.
It’s not even just about splitting expenses 50/50 If she doesn’t have an obligation to repay the loan, she ain’t going on title
No debt, no deed… My now wife and I purchased a condo together about 3 months into our relationship. Both on the mortgage, both on the deed. ( joint tenancy with no rights of survivorship… for the legal minded )
Honestly, this sounds like a way to strong arm you into adding her name onto the deed. It's 6 months man. You are not even over the honeymoon phase yet.
As with the other commenters, I don't think it would be wise to add her on since you aren't married. I've heard of horror stories of people who buy together but aren't married and end up splitting up and it becomes a headache. I am in a similar situation, my SO and I (not married) picked a house together but I am the sole person on paper. I don't ask, nor expect, and monetary contributions as I am the one responsible and honestly even if we did get married I am not sure I would even add them on at that point. They live rent free/highly subsidized and what does it matter if they are on the deed or not? A very real conversation we had was that, I shouldn't buy banking on their contribution, but just what I solo was comfortable paying. This was to protect both of us in the case we split up and I would be stretched thin/ they would have nothing to show for their investment and basically be left with nothing. If she wants a lease, she could go sign one to have her own place and live majority at your place? I guess I am confused about what she thinks she's entitled to? Is she helping put money somewhere (furniture, appliances etc?).
That’d be a no for me. Id say no
No ring no deed.
Protect herself? From what? She's known you for 6 months and thinks she deserves a share of a house you're buying? Huge red flag there buddy.
This makes no sense to me. Of course she doesn’t want to move to a place she could get kicked out of on a whim (who wants that, just burn outs and that type). Of course you don’t want her name on your house. Why not just live apart? She can get a female roommate (fun, stable for her) you get your house. Easy
I can understand why your girlfriend would feel insecure, however, unless she’s coming up with half the down payment and half the mortgage payment, she has no right to insist on that. You absolutely should not add her to the deed or the mortgage unless you two are getting married. If you are unsure at this time, let her live with you and pay utilities. That seems like a very fair arrangement. If it doesn’t work out, she can just leave.
Not just 50 down and 50 percent each month. It’d have to be that she’s also equally responsible for the mortgage payments for the life of the loan
Personally, I would never do that without being married. 😉
Don’t put her on the deed. She’ll move in eventually and if she doesn’t, red flag. I’m usually all about going in together equally but 6 months is way too early for her to feel entitled to anything
lol this is nuts, No dude. If she wants to rent, she can get her own place, it’s only been 6 months. Be real
Red flags mate. You’re only six months in and she’s already trying to financially benefit on a home she’s not putting a cent towards? Absolutely the fuck not. The only document she should be signing is a lease agreement between you two. If she wants to be on the deed, she needs to contribute at least 50% towards the down payment and closing costs.
That's a wife level subscription. You're currently at girlfriend level subscription and still very much under the one year trial period. If the red flags aren't obvious by now, I don't know what to tell you.
Dated my now wife for four years and we decided to buy before marrying. My FIL was adamant that I not be on the deed since it was her down payment. I didn't make it a big deal and put my name on it a year after we married. Your GF shouldn't make a big deal either. It sounds like a money grab to me.
Find a new GF and don't tell them you own a home, dummy. Just say you rent the home.
This is funny I should have done this
It's crazy we've got physicians in the pipeline that are this dumb, like holy shit. Do you post on Reddit about which shoe goes on the left and which goes on the right? Each morning?
you're a certified fool if you put her on the deed.
Why is a 6 month GF putting a pause on buying your own property? I understand men are having trouble getting girls now a days but this is ridiculously desperate behavior. Just because your 6 month girlfriend says she won’t move in with you, it puts a pause or halts you from buying your own property 🤦🏻♂️. This is sad.
She can always continue to rent while you move into the home?
Oh hell no
I’ll see you in the gym brother
She can rent from you then
Run! No way you should put her name on the deed after 6 months and with someone who issues ultimatums.
Do not put her on the deed. You'd be a massive idiot for doing that.
FUCK NO! You're not married, bad idea.
OP PLEASE take reddits advice on this.
She can rent from you and sign a rental agreement. Do not put her on the deed unless you want her to own half of your home. Also, what is with the ultimatum? Tread lightly friend.
You haven’t been together long enough to move in together. You should NEVER put a girlfriend on the deed to your house. You are the one getting the mortgage and taking all the financial risk, don’t do it!
Reddddddd flag …be careful man
Ok so she doesn’t have to move with you then. Problem solved. Of course HER friends and HER family want her name on the house. That would be a wonderful con if you did it. And don’t ever let her pay mortgage or she will have a claim to the house.
>She either says we rent, or she is not moving. Then that is her decision to make, not yours. Under no circumstances should you put your 6-month girlfriend on the deed of your new house nor concede to her ultimatum.
Coming from a woman here: Doctor? House? (Which I’m assuming is a nice house) Only dating 6 months?! Friends and family giving advice? Her trying to guilt trip (manipulate) you into doing it?!! Yea no…Sorry bro, but it sounds like she is scheming and trying to lock you in. Major red flag. DO NOT put her on the lease. You may want to reconsider the relationship too.
HAHAHA dude. Listen to me. If she doesn't want to move in because she's NOT on the deed, you tell her it's OK. She's for the streets my guy, no fucking way you're putting her on the deed. No way.
Nothing to protect herself from — she has no risk here. Draw up a lease. Period
That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Have her put 50% of the down payment where her mouth is if she wants to be on the deed.
Not having her move in seems like the way to have this problem solve itself
I hope the lack of response from OP is a sign they’ll follow overwhelming correct advice and not make an incredibly foolish decision here
100% no
Emotional blackmail for financial stability, if you're into that kind of thing
Yikes. 😬 On what planet does a girlfriend of 6 month rate property rights? You may actually want to reconsider a serious relationship with this woman. Kinda wild she’s making demands like this so early on.
You can’t be a doctor and be that stupid. You’ve been with her 6 months and she’s a GIRLFRIEND. She does not get to own half the house. If she doesn’t want to live with you free then she can live by herself and you can date her until you decide if you want to get married. Her name can be on her own lease.
My friend bought a house with his gf. After she cheated on him, he wanted to sell the house, but she kicked him out, called the cops on him, and refused to sell. She was a crazy bitch and they did eventually sell, but that one year probably took 5 years off his life.
1) never put a gf on a title/deed, regardless of how long you've been together 2) have you guys even lived together full time anywhere yet? It's a totally different dynamic having a SO in YOUR space, no matter how good the relationship is. 3) can she afford the mortgage payment AND utilities ON HER OWN should you be out of a job or worse, something happen to you? 4) are her credit/Financials as good as or better than yours? If the answer to 2, 3 and 4 are no, then there is your answer. My GF and I practically lived together at my parents for 3-4 years while I was saving for a house, I knew we would be solid together and having been together for 5+yr I knew nothing was happening with our relationship going forward, but I still didn't want her on the deed until we marry. Her mother loaded with terrible advice was whispering in her ear but luckily my gf has way better financial sense than her (helps I've been coaching her) and would actually listen to me and talk with me about it. At the end of the day I asked her if she felt comfortable exposing herself to that much risk that if something were to happen to me would she be able to handle it all and she said no. So why expose yourself to it? At the end of the day, she's still going to live there, it will still be her house in every way except the deed. And we worked it out where I take 100% of the mortgage payments and she handles the month to month expenses since I make nearly double her income and we have been fine about a year now.
Unless she’s fronting a huge down payment on this house she has no skin in this game and what’s she’s asking for is ridiculous. Your proposal for her to cover utilities while you cover the mortgage and house maintenance is absolutely reasonable and appropriate. She’s an idiot because it’s likely that even all the utilities are less than half of what she would pay in rent if she got an apartment. If she’s worried about security then a simple lease agreement between you and her should be sufficient. Tell her she’ll have the same protections as a tenant but that she will not be going on the deed and her reaction will tell you everything you need to know about how to proceed in the relationship.
Dump her because she gave you an ultimatum. Look out for yourself.
Yeah no. My partner bought a house when we'd been together for 3 years. I am not on any docs, I pay half the mortgage, we've been together 7 years now. Before buying, I fully agreed I'd just move out if anything happened with us (knowing i'd never have the ability to care for it on my own lol). 6 months is insane to be putting her on the deed of a house she's not buying.
Six months is already soon. She's showing you who she is--believe her. No deed for her.
Huge red flag. I wouldn't even continue this relationship. It's pretty clear that she's more interested in what you have than who you are. I'd tell her thanks for the heads up and showing me what you're really about, then go on my way.
Not only is moving her in and putting her on the mortgage at this point a bad idea, but I think you're missing LARGE red flags when it comes to this relationship lol
You have nearly 1k comments saying the same thing lol but here's my two cents. I worked mortgage complaints, I had a customer going through court with his ex gf over child support. Her name was on the deed, not the note, and he wanted to see if the bank would be responsible for her half. The bank isn't responsible for it, it's a civil matter, he has to pay her what she's owed. You get the house, you get only your name on the deed, she gets a rental agreement. Best way to do it.
She didn’t contribute to buying the house, she has no right to it. She wants to rent? Write up a lease agreement.. DO NOT risk all your hard work buying a home over a chick you’ve been dating for 6 months. I’ve been dating my GF for 2 years and I bought a house on my own. She’s not on the lease and she understands. She still moved in with me and contributes to the mortgage and bills
Do not put her name on anything, but her concerns are valid. You need a lease.
Please, please DO NOT put her on the deed of your new home unless she comes to the table with half the down payment and pays half the mortgage!! Offer her a lease agreement and detail specifically what should occur if you break up. 6 months is not a long period of time. Protect yourself and your future. If she refuses to move in to your place without her name being on the deed, get rid of her. And rent out a room if you need help with your mortgage.
DO NOT put her on the deed
If she's not participating in purchasing the home, there is no reason for her to be in the deed. No ticket, no laundry.
Negative mate. Don’t put her name on the deed. Such a red flag.
You should buy your house and your GF should keep her rental. That way you can focus on getting to know her more. I sense a red flag 🚩with her expectations this soon / early in the relationship. It’s okay if she doesn’t move in yet.
Imagine me in the crowd of people holding up a sign that says DON'T DO IT. I'm not one that thinks you absolutely MUST be married, but 6 months is nowhere near the commitment level where you let someone on the deed to your house. If she wants to feel secure, make her an official tenant. Then her name is attached to it and she has whatever rights and protections your jurisdiction provides tenants plus whatever you put in the rental contract.
6 months and wants to be on the deed but not the mortgage. That’s some balls.
You better be smarter than to put a person you've known for 6 months on the deed to your house.
Nope. Not after 6 months. Maybe never if she's dropping ultimatums like that. You sure you still want to date someone who uses ultimatums as a way to "discuss" things with you?
Stage 10 clinger alert
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 8 years and she’s not on the deed
You’re a doctor….please be smarter than this -_-
Daug, dont be a simp. No chance she is getting on that deed
You've only been dating for 6 months. That's not long. Don't add her to the deed. Instead, draft a rental contract in accordance to your local landlord-tenant laws so that you "can't just kick her out," and she has to pay you rent. If that's a dealbreaker for her, you dodged a bullet. My partner and I have been together for almost 8 years. He's the one with the funds to purchase a home because of his parents' passing. I'm in school, so our arrangement is that I will be his tenant until I graduate, we marry, and I'm at least 6 months into a job I actually like. My only ask is that we have at least 1.5 bathrooms and absolutely no HOA. So TL;DR - either she agrees to be your renter and you have a rental agreement or you separate.
Buy the house and live separately. Can you not date and live separately? If she feels more secure with her name on a lease than she should do that. Yes, it's going to cost more financially. But her peace of mind is worth it. Down the road if you two decide to become more committed, the. You can revisit the topic.
You’ll end up signing over that house or selling it when you break up. Very bad idea. Put her on a lease instead.
Her friends and family seem shady for suggesting she ask to be on the deed. I wouldn't be shocked if she reacts poorly and throws a tantrum when you tell her she won't be included on the deed.
My boyfriend's biggest regret at 31 years old is letting an ex girlfriend ruin his chance to be a homeowner. Make a wise choice.
Then don’t have her move in then bro it’s only been 6 months anything can happen!! 6months you kidding me
At 6 months into the relationship... ABSOLUTELY NOT! If she chooses to keep a separate apartment... Let Her! But Do not give her Half of your asset just because! Anything could go bad and now you would have to pay her off to get her out of the picture.
Reading your post makes my head hurt. You already seem as if you don’t want your GF of 6 months to be on the deed of the home you are about to purchase. Her ultimatum is either you put her name on the deed or she is not moving. To me, this is a very clear and easy decision. She simply will not be moving b/c there is no way I would put her name on the deed. Period. If she doesn’t understand that, then she doesn’t have your best interest in mind.
If she really loves you, she would take the option of not being on the deed. You have to protect yourself. Think of it this way: do you think she would put you on her deed if the role was reversed?