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[deleted]

[удалено]


rnsfoss

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH!!


BigMickPlympton

Son, we live in a world that has food, and that food has to be chewed by men with teeth. Who's gonna do it? You u/MSFOSS? You, u/DevoutlyScribe81? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for u/KairuSmairukon, and you curse Reddit. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that u/KairuSmairukon's joke, while tragic, probably caused laughs; and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, causes laughs.


Danitoba

You don't want the tooth because, deep down, in places you don't *talk about* at dentistry conventions, you *want* me chewing that food. You **need me** chewing that food. We used words like "decay" "hygiene" "rootcanal." We used these words as the alveolar of a life spent consuming something! *You use* them as a punch line!


sac02052

Could someone please finish the rant? I don't have the chops


match_

u/BigMickPlympton , Did you order the Brown Note?!!!!


BigMickPlympton

I laughed at the joke...


leowrightjr

Underrated comment bordering on genius.


jimbojonesFA

You must be a dad.


Dylmix_mc

R/UnexpectedB99


[deleted]

r/foundthemobileuser


osama_bin_boolin69

idk why i read this in Michael Scott’s voice😂


sanguwan

Yeah don't be a fairy!


Kabc

You should take her out for dinner, dental her


[deleted]

I wouldn’t tell her man. He might not be cool with her giving OP head


fyrdude58

On the other hand, he might be...


Expensive_Finance_20

r/dadjokes


NoMoPolenta

Clear is kind. She wants to make you happy, so she's probably thinking she's doing something wrong if you're like grimacing as she does it.


Skilledpainter

Lmfao 🤣 Touche


FitBoog

Hahahaha, how dare you


mickysD

yeah just dont be too cheeky about it.


RGeronimoH

#BOT COMMENT OP is a **CONTENT STEALING BOT** stealing this COMMENT:: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/f192pt/i_wanna_tell_my_girlfriend_shes_using_way_too/fh2rzd0/ **DOWNVOTE > REPORT > SPAM > HARMFUL BOTS**


Midnight_heist

I need to tell my girlfriend that I'm not into her new fetish, but first I gotta get some shit off my chest...


[deleted]

Put it in another cavity?


Ragnar_Lothbroekke

I see what you did there


Skilledpainter

Hilarious 😂


milmat36

Brilliant.


mdsg5432

Wait until later to tell her. Maybe around tooth hurty.


crash866

Just don’t wait till too farty.


Cigarandadrink

I can't believe out of all of them this is the one that got me haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


TOMdMAK

your joke but worse


KingJusticeBeaver

Tooth:15


MythologicalSiren

Could you tell me what the deleted comment says?


KingJusticeBeaver

“What time is the best time to see the dentist? 2:30”


[deleted]

This is golden lol


bottomofastairwell

Just be honest. And to soften the criticism, sandwich it with compliments. You can tell her, I LOVE when you go down on me. It's so hot and it feels great. But here's the thing, you get me so worked up that I'm really sensitive, so I feel everything you do way more intensely. That's awesome, but it also means that any time I feel your teeth I REALLY feel them. So can you just be careful with the teeth? Coz every other part of this experience is amazing for me. And then when she says she'll work on it, tell her thanks, that you appreciate that she cares enough to listen and take the input. There's nothing wrong with wanting to adjust things, and in my mind, id rather have my boyfriend tell me things than let me carry on thinking it's going well if it's not. Then again, I pride myself on my amazing blow job skills and its taken me years of feedback and tweaking to perfect them. So you know, I welcome the chance to do it better. Tip for your girlfriend though: curl her lips inward over her teeth. And then because of the way you have to hold your mouth to keep your lips over your teeth, the corners will kind of stay open, which means you can breathe a little easier. And you know, that's nice Edit: I don't see many other actual, serious answers. So hopefully this helps (also fixed spelling) 2nd edit: Fuck. I just saw which sub this was in. I'm really stupid. Whatever. I'm leaving it


Fitchanator

I’m actually dead😂 but honestly really solid advice on the delivery of the news if the topic ever came up or in any situation. You really know how to communicate in a very gentle affirming way with positive feedback that doesn’t sound like criticism. Good job. I applaud you


bottomofastairwell

Aww thanks. Yet another of my many talents: good communication skills. Apparently reading isn't one of the skills I possess though, lol. Glad to see it get a decent response anyway though


KairuSmairukon

I love this so, so much. Please don't delete it because it's great advice for anyone else who thinks they're in r/relationshipadvice


superkevinguru

Yeah, leave it. This is quality advice.


Head-Bet-8696

🤣 I did the same thing - you are not alone! Great advice btw.


Kind_Ganache_7537

You sound really skilful at BJs. Could I mebbes meet you?


bottomofastairwell

Aww, sorry, but someone already got these skills locked down tight. I mean, with skills like mine he'd be crazy not to keep me, right?


Khaylain

I think the communication might be the better part.


jisatsusurukudasai

I read through all of that wondering if there was going to be a punchline or if it was a mistake, I think the mistake was enough of a punchline though. Still good advice anyway


[deleted]

[удалено]


fmlhaveagooddaytho

Same here, made it even funnier to read the description!


Curious-Contract6745

Saaaaaaame


Specific_Tap7296

Honestly thought this was a real advice request. Happened to me once... Didn't see her again, too risky


Waitsfornoone

Actually had this problem with an old GF. After I mentioned it to her, and she went out and got a mouth guard. I now remember her fondly.


larbatoo

She sounds like a real keeper... too bad.


RecalcitrantHuman

Less wrist. More teeth.


REDGOESFASTAH

U can't handle the tooth


Admiral-Adenosine

Don't want to hurt her.... fillings


fyrdude58

CSI:Miami


[deleted]

Hehe


AYB7

Honey, when I said we should grind, I didn’t mean with your teeth.


Death_Note-is-alive

*grinding intensifies*


[deleted]

Use too many teeth when you go down on her, and when she says something, say "samesies"


Itok19

Just make sure there’s a glass of water bedside to place her dentures in


Waitsfornoone

Life is good!


ken0746

You can just be honest, but don’t come at her too hard.


BillionaireGhost

Obligatory that I share this classic: https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY


Waitsfornoone

Thanks for that one.


HMSSurprise28

Just start by telling her how lucky you are to have her and someone willing to go down on you and then just tell her any teeth is too much. Just be nice and appreciative of what’s going on


FlashMcSuave

Try incentivizing her. One good one is worth two in the bush.


Waitsfornoone

One in the mouth is worth two in the bush? How much is one in he hand worth? Asking for a friend.


DroppedEaves

Just use yours when you go down on her.


unopoularopinion

Bit the clit I left the e off of bite bc then it rhymes


zombiebrains88

That’s a sucky situation.


berkeleyjake

Well, for starters, you should wait for a time to tell her when she's not going down on you.


doomsdaysushi

More pad, less claw


littlejoohat

Maybe offer to root canal instead


DaAriP

Put a quarter behind her ear. when she asks why. “ Just seeing if the teeth fold back.”


CuriousVulpes

Dental daaaaammm


66veedub

This is where relationships fail! Communication is key! No matter how difficult or uncomfortable it is. She don't know if you don't tell her man!


MannerElectrical9901

This joke sucks


MacSquawk

Some mouths are just smaller than others. Some bodies aren’t as compatible as we’d like them to be.


unkledom

Brilliant


frantic_17

Just tell her. Women wants to be instructed on how to do it better.


KeithSharpley

Yeah mansplain it to her


sharksnut

Tell her to take them out and put them in the glass in the bathroom where they belong


icup2

Show her how it’s done


Scarletmittens

Use an open hand and not a fist.


howto1012020

Let me tag in, bro! I'll endure your pain...for the team!


mrb55-me-com

Best reply ever!


Sloppymop2

Bahahaha “soften the blow”


bigdummy53

A brick will fix this.


shadraig

I could show her how it is done


That-Ad757

Omg just say ouch and tell her. What a baby. If that is the only problem you have you are blessed


tinaonfredyemail

Peter


wawaluvr

[You are so kinky!](https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY)


willfargo1231

Sounds like she's the one who needs to soften the blow


jdsizzle1

Tell her before you get your relationship in a snag.


Proper-Move-5138

Tell her to take her dentures out


Dickcheese-a1

What's her name, is it, Chew me.


Psykopunkr

Tell her to just use the gums.


Amerimoto

Get her to start doing meth and after a while the teeth will be softer.


Renobym

Lol


itsallfake01

Hey babe, can i get a bit more of gwak gwak instead of nom nom


vonnegutfan2

Wax lips, game changer.


bigrayiii420

That was my ex wife and not a joke.


OnePES

Honesty is always the best policy in these situations!!!


Prestigious_Room4486

Bite her……you know where….next time you are down there and when she yells at and/or slaps you tell her you learned it from her- if she doesn’t like it why would you. 🤷‍♂️


[deleted]

i'll let her bite my 😻 some of us like bites. and love to bite 😏


xiomixi

she must be told this immediately, before she has yet taken a bite.


outsidethewall

You can’t tell her. Just like guide her that way, react more when she is doing it right


Rare-Evidence-1583

I would say, knock her teeth off.. 😆


Better_Chard4806

Ouch works.


gochomoe

Tell her this joke and then look directly in her eyes until it's a little uncomfortable. If that doesn't work I'd recommend printing it on a tshirt and put it on every time she's about to go down there.


Conscious_Exit_5547

I'll had a talk with her...


SojournerDusk

I can’t believe no one suggested to put a ring (gag) in it.


thebarkbarkwoof

Punch her in the mouth?


j10302016

Tell here you like her doing down there but can she can use less teeth because you dont want to lose it :)


Criantos

If you could soften the blow, you wouldn't be complaining now would you?


[deleted]

>too much teeth Woah hold up...y'all been using *any* teeth?! There's a too much version? I have a damn near permanent ridge on the inside on my lips from covering my chompers when I go down on him.


E_B_Jamisen

I don't know if I'm old, tired, or haven't had sex in a while, but for some reason my first thought when he said soften the blow ... I thought he was going to hit his girlfriend ... ... I was going to recommend against doing so.


AcidRayn66

Wrap the brick in a towel before you hit her with it


gabbarBabbar

Take your pick. Dick or Chick.


Head-Bet-8696

I feel your pain (no pun intended, seriously). I had this discussion with my girl - and she just quit. Stopped. Done. BJ's have left the building... It's been a long, long time since that sensual experience. Way too long. I guess it really depends on the person you're with and their willingness to work with you about how and what you're feeling. I ended up with a situation I wasn't expecting, in that regard. Hopefully, wishfully, she'll be understanding and work with you.


bottomofastairwell

Saw your reply on my comment. If you ever wanna try to rectify that situation, feel free to hit me up. Maybe I can give you some pointers on what to say to her to help with better communicating. Thought I'd offer since you were nice and all.


tthrivi

Just ask her to take our her dentures


scratchmybellyplease

You made me snicker, you fucker.


S3dekick

Every man has been that asshole


Hmonster1

Do what I do. Tell her to take them out and leave them in the glass by the nightstand.


Tautochrone1

"Babe, I don't want to hurt your feelings so usually I would keep my mouth shut...but I'd rather hurt your feelings a little bit than you hurt my dick a lot so keep your mouth open. Thanks."


jadius

Don’t you mean hurt her fillings?


atony1984

I for sure thought you meant to say you didn’t want to “hurt her fillings”


NaturalAppointment20

With a pair of pliers, duhhhh


ExoticTourist6002

ENDURE!!!


sherriffflood

I have a similar situation with my blow up doll being too firm when we made love. How do I resolve this? Let her down gently?


SpareMind

Ask her to chew once done, not while at it.


Loose_Information603

Hurt her with a punch in the mouth, no more teeth


Inevitable-Match591

I just cut mine with laxatives


agoodpapa

Tell her nicely.


mdhuff378

Ask if she’ll do anal


Ok_Entertainment1305

Tell her to take her teeth out first ?!? 😅 hahaha 🦷🦷🦷


haulabacha

Just tell her to take the dentures out. Trust me it works like a charm!


omnimnemonic

before jabbing make a straight left


QuttiDeBachi

Just tell her to pretend it’s a lollipop…worked on my wife. Now I affectionately say “how about a lolli?”


EyelBeeback

Baseball bat.


flipjacky3

Wrap the pp in foil, it will make her teeth hurt


SnooCupcakes9855

That's why you only get bjs from granny's. No teeth!


infestedgrowth

Sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and be honest


the_true_skipster

Ask her husband to tell her.


Nilabisan

Say “ouch”.


Ok-Highlight-7011

i want to use this joke, but i fear never getting another bj again😶


Hack692

You don't need to tell her just stop being a pussy, take it like a man.


WheeeeeThePeople

It's SUCK. Blow is just an expression.


Nick_col

You don't wanna hurt her feelings but she be hurting your dick, mate


Creepy_Concert4810

Scream outloud! Ouch then wiggle away! lol


Yegger5

Just put lots of shiny new coins under her pillow and hope for the best!


Careless-Mistake3221

I had an ex like that, just be honest she will appreciate it


MeanChefKev

I’ll tell her


Ok-Occasion2440

If I get hurt I make an “ooouuuh” noice like in an ouch expression and she gets the idea. And then apologizes. 😅


[deleted]

Pinch her nose


InnerDuty

Grandad told me once Nan used to take hers out 😅


No-Lobster7882

Honestly it's ok to let her know . Because that could hurt alot . Just be gentle when you do .don't say it in a mean way . Aww because I did it once but didn't realize i was doing it


Mowgli9991

The next time your getting a blow, just give a little “oh shit, ow baby” and then when she says what, you say “your tooth scratched me”. Make sure it’s mid way through so she can’t react properly as she’ll be way too distracted lol Absolutely do not tell her randomly, only in the moment because you might insult her or give her a complex, just act like that’s the first time it happened lol


UrbanSteam

Better hurt her feelings cause shes hurting you in the manhood


jlhpisces

As a woman, back in the learning days, the boy/man I was with at the time just said ooh babe, careful with the teeth. Nothing wrong with a gentle reminder.


rhino81680

That's nice of you to not want to hurt her fillings.


Which_Reward3820

My husband smacked my head and said, "Girl, you stop that bitin' shit. I save the rough for my side hoe."


NapoleonsBone

What, are you afraid she'll bite your head off?


NikoPallazo

Tell her that she's Long in the tooth.