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I was once told the measure of a successful marriage is one mate standing over the others grave
Obviously that's a literal take on til death do us part
That’s why you start doing more and more dangerous things together as you get older. Tandem skydiving, unguided safari’s, basejumping with no training. That way you’re more likely to both go out at the same time.
Actually, the benefits of couples who take dangerous risks together, they’re building stronger & stronger soul ties in which that same intensity within the couples’ relationship, will be present in the couples’ relationship in their next lives together. (Whether they become siblings, associates, partners once again, etc.)
[If we were vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit](https://youtu.be/fyiEJaf-IzE)
[Above the Clouds of Pompeii - Bears Den](https://youtu.be/BK7bh5W18ag)
You know ngl at least the latest tears I would have traded for a lot. I don't know if I would rather never even have known of her than everything that happened.
It kinda broke my mind but thankfully it also pushed to finally start fixing it.
It comes from the bittersweetness of loss, the relationship was amazing and you have come to terms with the grief. Not all sadness is like this but it is real
My husband of 20 years and the father of my children died suddenly. So yeah not exquisite or bittersweet for me. Sometimes loss is crippling and throws you straight into a brick wall.
God not me. Mid thirties, five years after a five year relationship. I never want to date again. I don't even crave physical relationships anymore. And if I could I would erase any memory of any moments I've ever felt love. I truly would be happier without knowledge of the loss. Life is genuinely easier when you set aside romance and extra-plutonic relationships.
She’s plausible if they’re an older couple that never had kids, the rest of the family is dead and they either don’t have don’t have nieces and nephews or aren’t close to them if they do
I don't think it's as rare as people think. It's easy to not hear about the people who only interact with each other because... They only interact with each other.
Statistically not gonna happen.
But the amount of debris that would enter orbit, idk, that has a strong possibility of doing it.
I can't even imagine the... horror? That's not enough of a word. 6 people tops alive. No way out, no help will ever come. At best, you have months, likely hours, or less.
or in like a Ritual of Ash, right?
When you undergo the Sacrament of Joyful Immolation, whereby two souls are fused permanently in the flames of Azathoth's transcendent and exuberant rage?
You all know.
The Ritual of Ash is a lovely sacrament to behold, with a storied history.
You see, Azathoth seeks to alloy human souls together, one-by-one, in preparation for His Holy Execration. I am more of a Dagonist really, but I respect the rich traditions of Azathoth, and I try to always burn a blood sacrifice every midsummer, when I'm not too busy.
This is a minor take on the real issue at hand. Eventually everything ends in sadness, considering we all perish and will be eventually forgotten.
Only solace is giving thanks for being here another day and honour those close to us
Why give thanks? It would have been better to never have been here in the first place. To be given a taste of existence to then have it taken away forever is cruel. There's no need to be thankful for that.
If I were never here in the first place my cat wouldn't have been adopted and I wouldn't have met my girlfriend. Considering I love them both so much and I would chew glass for either of them, I think I am living a life worth living and would have it no other way.
What you are describing doesn't sound like a way to live, just a way to die
I'm quite certain they weren't trying to describe a "way to live" by saying that it's better not to have existed.
If your cat and girlfriend also didn't exist, your reasoning wouldn't apply. That's justifying an existence based only on the existence of others, which is not really answering the question of whether it's better to exist or never to have existed.
Maybe being something that exists gives you a bias towards existing, but I didn't exist for millions of years and I don't recall having any problem with it. I don't want to die now, but that's just because I'm already alive and I reasonably enjoy it. But is it better than never existing? That's a harder question.
I think the older you get the more you appreciate what life is, which is a bunch of small experiences
Some of us get taken too early, but others get a full life, we don’t get to choose which is which, so I would just say enjoy it fellow redditor, we don’t know what’s on the otherside.
First of all, we have no way of knowing whether our existence is actually taken away after death. But there is no scientific evidence for that, so it's a lame argument.
However, if there is no afterlife, then we shall not be there to witness the taking away of existence, only for other people.
Secondly, there are a lot of things that can make you happy. If your average on the happiness-sadness meter is above zero, you can deem your life worth it. It's for you to decide where zero lies.
That's where thankfulness comes in. If your standards for happiness are inconceivably high, then you will never be happy. But if you are thankful for the small things, the standard for happiness will lower and you will be content in life.
It's a very mathematical explanation for a more emotional viewpoint, but I truly hope you understand.
To add: you speak as though you believe there is a higher being, but you dislike them. Would you care to elaborate?
Existence is objectively cruel. Try to exit from your own perspective and try to see life for what it is for the majority of all living beings.
The only two things guaranteed in life are suffering and death. Nothing else is promised.
Your happiness now is great an all but it's temporary state. It's not the equilibrium or default state.
There's a lot to unpack here, but when you take a deep dive, I think it's fairly apparent that there's nothing to be thankful about.
I strongly disagree with you.
I think the position one actively takes in their life plays a large part in the suffering-sadness ratio. Psychology points out that if you push yourself to be happy with your mind, it actually works.
"Be positive", "stay strong", "don't worry, be happy", are examples that you may have heard of, that play on my previous statement. It is not what happens to you that should define your happiness, it's what you do with that.
By the way, you still speak as though you believe there is a higher power who does not have your affection. If you would care to elaborate, I think that it could really add to this discussion. Don't feel pressured though, it may be I'm tickling a sensitive snare here, sorry in advance if that's the case.
That's an amusing thought. I'm sure therapy is beneficial for most people.
My thoughts are not a result of trauma, confusion, or isolation. They are based on an objective view of the world.
1. Were you given a choice to be born? No
2. Will you die one day? Yes
3. Will you suffer a significant amount through life? Yes
Why do you accept as some sort of axiom that life is objectively a _good_ thing and that we need to be thankful for it. Is life good for all living beings? Or just humans. Or just humans in wealthy first world countries? If life a gift for the tadpole that's stuck in the mud and dies shortly after birth?
Ultimately, people that don't exist don't go to hell. They don't get cancer. They don't get old. They don't die of hunger due to famine.
Life makes suffering and death possible. Nonexistence is peaceful and safe.
I'm fairly recently divorced and I think when people say this, it's because generally divorce is not a spur of the moment thing and one or both have been living very unhappy for long periods. So you have this long period of misery about the relationship and then further stress worrying about how to get away from the misery, so when the divorce finally comes, it's a huge high in comparison to what you've been feeling.
I can look back now after my divorce and remember happy moments, but my divorce brought me a level of happiness I hadn't felt in years.
So going by your reasoning, as all life ends in death (sadness), should we be fearful of being alive and stop giving new life to new babies?
Or all food you eat eventually ends up as poop?
Obviously, everything that has a beginning will come to an end eventually. That doesn't make the partaking in it meaningless. The activity and journey itself will bring you joy, joy enough to outweigh the sadness when it ends.
"The culmination of love is grief, and yet we love despite the inevitable. We *open* our hearts to it. ... To grieve deeply is to have *loved* fully. Open your heart to the world as you opened it to me, and you will find *every reason* to keep living in it."
I mean... Not all breakups are sad. I had a girlfriend of several months and we ended up splitting because our life goals were different and we weren't unhappy with each other just wanted each of us to find a person that better aligned...
But the relationship was fun, we both helped each other get over a previous relationship and we both had relationships pretty quickly afterward lol
At the time it felt like the most mature thing I've ever done, I was like "cool, this is what adult relationships feel like." But it was just sort of a one time thing for me.
My marriage (different woman) has been awesome though.
This idea was haunting me so i journaled out my thoughts a while ago and are going to share them here
My jouney is like ash ketchums journey. He makes a ton of friends along the way and then they split up and go their own journey. After that ash makes new friends and the pattern repeats. My life is like that. The difference is that ash kind of stays friends with everyone. The relationships i've been in, we just realize that we weren't compatible anymore and go our own way with no intention of catching up again. At first this saddened me, but then i realized that i can still appreciate the good aspacts of those relationships, what i learned from it, and how i grew in it. Its even important to let relationships go before they get really toxic. If you hold onto something that is really not working and not going to work, it starts to eat at you. If you let it go before it gets toxic then i just end up appreciating the relationship. Like ash ketchum, i still appreciate those friendships and look back on them with fond memories
There is a slim wedge of another option: people whose romantic relationship drifts away while their friendship grows. They may decide to dissolve the overall relationship in order for them to pursue other romantic interests, while maintaining the great friendship with each other.
Granted, I'm sure such unusual scenarios are quite rare. Just a tiny spot of hope to consider.
And from another perspective, I can definitely say that the sum of emotions from each of my past relationships is positive. While each had a period of sadness at the end, none came close to outweighing either the positive emotions of the journey or the feeling of having improved as a person along the way.
Incorrect. Relationship in the general meaning has a whole spectrum of connotation. You can have a relationship with alcohol. You can end that relationship. That’s quite often positive.
They don’t end ‘in sadness’ then, they just end.
What you’ve surmised is that any ending is implicitly ‘sad’ and actually this is completely subjective.
Only sad if you find it sad. In essence it’s just another state, another form. As long as there are beginnings, there are ends. And the only absolute truth is death.
I’m not challenging you or anything by the way, as it’s not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing or wrong vs right. It’s just interesting to see how drastically our viewpoint can change when we reevaluate or even remove the sentimental aspects entirely
I don’t think the relationship per say is what inflicts the pain.
Rather the resentment and bitterness of people who don’t feel fulfilled in the relationship. Which can be counteracted by proper communication
Yeah all life eventually ends in death you've just got to make the most of it and enjoy it while it's happening. Don't think about the end just live in the moment
"Chapter 3: Part One
Separation is normal. When asked why people break up, there is not one simple answer. A sense of self-knowledge and intentional awareness is a catalyst between the communication of two partners hoping to achieve emotional intimacy. But it can also expose desires that are not shared between said partners. Sometimes, relationships end because partners evolve over time. Sometimes, they end because one partner does not feel deserving of love. Sometimes they end due to infidelity or due to thoughts of such actions. And sometimes, maybe more often than not, they just end. Similarly to people, sometimes love can die unexpectedly because sometimes the ego of one partner can suffocate the shared joy. Everything ends."
This is how one of my favorite songs starts. It's called Violent Smile by Hotel Books. I figured this kinda ties in with what OP.
John Schneider on widowhood. Beautifully worded and heartbreaking. Show this video to those that need the reminder that ‘it’s a road well travelled (with a reward at the end of it)’ or to those that don’t understand or think ‘it has been long enough’.
So sorry for you loss, John.
https://youtu.be/6RxAT0XeV6k
But what is the destination if not for the journey? Just because we know the ending will be sad does not take away from the life we live getting there.
Yeah but that breakup usually ends in new flowers blooming and that’s why I’m doing much better and appreciate my ex breaking up with me now. Sure I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her but I’ve been doing so much better in life especially career wise. I’m actually grateful and wish I could tell her without sounding like a douche.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 ESV
The price of love is grief. If you aren't grieving at the end of it all, you didn't love properly. Real love will be the most amazing, joyful, yet excruciating thing any of us can ever hope to experience. But to enjoy the good, you have to welcome the bad, that's just the price it takes.
“The price of love is loss but still we pay. We love anyway.” - Next to Normal
My deepest loss was my soul cat. But there is NOTHING I would change. I love her so much and she is why I am here today. She saved my life and got me through the toughest times of my life.
If my spouse dies before I do, I, again, wouldn’t change anything. We have been together a decade and it’s been the best decade. It will have been worth all the pain in the world.
So we must love all our relatives, both those who, in accordance with the laws of birth, we want to outlive us, and those who, with complete justification, we pray will predecease us; but we must love them in the knowledge that we have received no promise that their lives will be endless, indeed no promise that they will be long. Our minds need frequent prompting to love things on the understanding that we are sure to lose them, or rather that we are already losing them: you should treat all of fortune’s gifts as coming without a guarantee. Consolation to Marcia 10.3
You never chose to be here in the first place, you still have to live through it so you make the best of it and at some point it’s taken away. Knowing that we didn’t willingly choose to be here somehow makes having to leave more comforting
That's why people invented an omnipotent, omnipresent, immortal and ever loving being, a.k.a. GOD who will never disappoint you if you worship him selflessly.
Not a popular opinion here probably.
I don't know, it's rare but there are people out there happily divorce away when the marriage stop being what they want. You don't have to be sad, it's just life.
My wife and I agreed that if anything happen to either of us we would want the other to love again. If either of us could bring ourselves to, anyway. I dunno if I could love anyone like that again.
I agree wholeheartedly. I have been saying since I was about 13 that humans are not meant to have long-term relationships. They always end in some form of sadness and aloneness and indeed, loneliness and disappointment.
comeuntochrist.org
lds.org
gospel library app
if anyone's struggling this has a lot of good resources that can help
https://youtu.be/vXg9wWIN-Xo
https://youtu.be/3n-DOKBffuU
call or text 988 liveonutah.org
If you want, if not ignore me.
"Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
Because monogamy isn't what most men want, it's not natural and they're too scared to actually say it, and as a society we're too naive to realise and accept it.
This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/rules). Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!" (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, [please read this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/overview).) **Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
I was once told the measure of a successful marriage is one mate standing over the others grave Obviously that's a literal take on til death do us part
That’s why you start doing more and more dangerous things together as you get older. Tandem skydiving, unguided safari’s, basejumping with no training. That way you’re more likely to both go out at the same time.
Truck stop egg salad sandwiches...
He said dangerous, not suicidal
7/11 sushi...?
Slow down Satan
Core of a dumpster apple?
Still safer than 7/11 sushi.
Depends what country you're in for that one to work.
"It's like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up."
He said death, not both stuck fighting a trucker and a heroin addict for the bathroom outside the gas station in the back.
Okay calm down bud he said dangerous not “let’s just die today”
Actually, the benefits of couples who take dangerous risks together, they’re building stronger & stronger soul ties in which that same intensity within the couples’ relationship, will be present in the couples’ relationship in their next lives together. (Whether they become siblings, associates, partners once again, etc.)
Bro. Dont push your beliefs onto others.
yeah. right. Tell that to the church.
[If we were vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit](https://youtu.be/fyiEJaf-IzE) [Above the Clouds of Pompeii - Bears Den](https://youtu.be/BK7bh5W18ag)
Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone. Maybe we'll get 40 years together, but one day I'll be gone and one day you'll be gone.
But it's such wonderful, well earned, exquisite sadness... I would trade my tears for nothing.
You have just written my epitaph.
"Loving husband.... that's.. what I want on mine."
Welcome back Mr Wick
Fantastic film
Here lies… The only man to have changed my toilet paper roll.
I’ve never been through a breakup but even I can tell that what u said hits deep
You know ngl at least the latest tears I would have traded for a lot. I don't know if I would rather never even have known of her than everything that happened. It kinda broke my mind but thankfully it also pushed to finally start fixing it.
I trink about this sometimes... pain is the price we pay for love.
Well said. In life there is love and there is loss. The measure of the loss, is often determined by the measure of the love. Beautiful yet ephemeral.
"What is grief, if not love preservering?" -Vision from WandaVision.
Pain is proof of Life
I would add, I do not deserve to forget my failures.
Anyone who describes the sadness as exquisite has yet to experience real sadness.
It comes from the bittersweetness of loss, the relationship was amazing and you have come to terms with the grief. Not all sadness is like this but it is real
My husband of 20 years and the father of my children died suddenly. So yeah not exquisite or bittersweet for me. Sometimes loss is crippling and throws you straight into a brick wall.
Absolutely, grief is the hardest thing to deal with, everyone feels it differently in different circumstances. I’m very sorry for your loss
God not me. Mid thirties, five years after a five year relationship. I never want to date again. I don't even crave physical relationships anymore. And if I could I would erase any memory of any moments I've ever felt love. I truly would be happier without knowledge of the loss. Life is genuinely easier when you set aside romance and extra-plutonic relationships.
What is grief if not love preserv... prereser... perserve...continuing for a long time.
not if they both die at exactly the same moment, e.g both in the same car crash
Still ends in death though. Thought never mentions that the death is only for one, just death
Not if after the car crash you haunt your house to try to get some weird New Yorkers to move out.
Daaaaaaaayo
Yeah, I don't know why they thought choreographed dancing would make them want to leave.
Wider family still sad.
Probably really rare but it is possible for two people to love each other and have nobody else who loves them
Like Evelyn and me, but then they get me pills on schizophrenia and it all ended
I’m sorry for you and Evelyn mate.
That's me except I don't have a second person.
She’s plausible if they’re an older couple that never had kids, the rest of the family is dead and they either don’t have don’t have nieces and nephews or aren’t close to them if they do
Another way it could happen is two orphans getting together
And then when they find you both, and piece together your story, there hearts are moved.
I don't think it's as rare as people think. It's easy to not hear about the people who only interact with each other because... They only interact with each other.
That on its own is sad.
Not if all humanity die in the same asteroid crash
Sad astronauts on the ISS
The asteroid takes the ISS with it on the way to Earth
Statistically not gonna happen. But the amount of debris that would enter orbit, idk, that has a strong possibility of doing it. I can't even imagine the... horror? That's not enough of a word. 6 people tops alive. No way out, no help will ever come. At best, you have months, likely hours, or less.
The rover on Mars.
First it had a close fly by with Mars and the gravity lifts the rover from the surface, burning it up in the atmosphere :’(
The aliens on other planets watching our doom like ( ○ - ○ ) (They were just about to come visit us finally)
Truly the best timeline
Still drifting apart
What if they both were assholes and everyone hated them?
But the dead people don’t know about that
What if they were both blood orphans? Also loners, and self-employed. Also living in a forest. Nobody even knew they existed.
What if the entire family thought they were cunts?
or in like a Ritual of Ash, right? When you undergo the Sacrament of Joyful Immolation, whereby two souls are fused permanently in the flames of Azathoth's transcendent and exuberant rage? You all know.
i have no idea what you are on about
The Ritual of Ash is a lovely sacrament to behold, with a storied history. You see, Azathoth seeks to alloy human souls together, one-by-one, in preparation for His Holy Execration. I am more of a Dagonist really, but I respect the rich traditions of Azathoth, and I try to always burn a blood sacrifice every midsummer, when I'm not too busy.
Oh, Azothoth! The blonde guy from Final Fantasy?
No, I believe you're thinking of [Argath Thadalfus](https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Argath_Thadalfus)
I think that counts as death...
yes, but how can Either be sad if they know not that the other has passed
Sounds like the end-result of an unpurposefully extended session of masturbation.
That is why things like relationships are defined by its journey, not by it’s destination.
Agreed. Remember all the happy moments and know that you were able to experience it.
Might I recommend a book to you. I think you will love it! The way of kings by Brandon Sanderson.
Life before death
Strength before Weakness
Journey before Destination
Except after Szeth
This is a minor take on the real issue at hand. Eventually everything ends in sadness, considering we all perish and will be eventually forgotten. Only solace is giving thanks for being here another day and honour those close to us
Heat death of the universe
Why give thanks? It would have been better to never have been here in the first place. To be given a taste of existence to then have it taken away forever is cruel. There's no need to be thankful for that.
If I were never here in the first place my cat wouldn't have been adopted and I wouldn't have met my girlfriend. Considering I love them both so much and I would chew glass for either of them, I think I am living a life worth living and would have it no other way. What you are describing doesn't sound like a way to live, just a way to die
I'm quite certain they weren't trying to describe a "way to live" by saying that it's better not to have existed. If your cat and girlfriend also didn't exist, your reasoning wouldn't apply. That's justifying an existence based only on the existence of others, which is not really answering the question of whether it's better to exist or never to have existed. Maybe being something that exists gives you a bias towards existing, but I didn't exist for millions of years and I don't recall having any problem with it. I don't want to die now, but that's just because I'm already alive and I reasonably enjoy it. But is it better than never existing? That's a harder question.
I think the older you get the more you appreciate what life is, which is a bunch of small experiences Some of us get taken too early, but others get a full life, we don’t get to choose which is which, so I would just say enjoy it fellow redditor, we don’t know what’s on the otherside.
First of all, we have no way of knowing whether our existence is actually taken away after death. But there is no scientific evidence for that, so it's a lame argument. However, if there is no afterlife, then we shall not be there to witness the taking away of existence, only for other people. Secondly, there are a lot of things that can make you happy. If your average on the happiness-sadness meter is above zero, you can deem your life worth it. It's for you to decide where zero lies. That's where thankfulness comes in. If your standards for happiness are inconceivably high, then you will never be happy. But if you are thankful for the small things, the standard for happiness will lower and you will be content in life. It's a very mathematical explanation for a more emotional viewpoint, but I truly hope you understand. To add: you speak as though you believe there is a higher being, but you dislike them. Would you care to elaborate?
Existence is objectively cruel. Try to exit from your own perspective and try to see life for what it is for the majority of all living beings. The only two things guaranteed in life are suffering and death. Nothing else is promised. Your happiness now is great an all but it's temporary state. It's not the equilibrium or default state. There's a lot to unpack here, but when you take a deep dive, I think it's fairly apparent that there's nothing to be thankful about.
I strongly disagree with you. I think the position one actively takes in their life plays a large part in the suffering-sadness ratio. Psychology points out that if you push yourself to be happy with your mind, it actually works. "Be positive", "stay strong", "don't worry, be happy", are examples that you may have heard of, that play on my previous statement. It is not what happens to you that should define your happiness, it's what you do with that. By the way, you still speak as though you believe there is a higher power who does not have your affection. If you would care to elaborate, I think that it could really add to this discussion. Don't feel pressured though, it may be I'm tickling a sensitive snare here, sorry in advance if that's the case.
Dammit! Who left the r/antinatalism gate unlocked? Now one of the teenagers escaped
Just subbed.
Get busy living, or get busy dying. Don't just exist.
Maybe some therapy could be beneficial to you
That's an amusing thought. I'm sure therapy is beneficial for most people. My thoughts are not a result of trauma, confusion, or isolation. They are based on an objective view of the world. 1. Were you given a choice to be born? No 2. Will you die one day? Yes 3. Will you suffer a significant amount through life? Yes Why do you accept as some sort of axiom that life is objectively a _good_ thing and that we need to be thankful for it. Is life good for all living beings? Or just humans. Or just humans in wealthy first world countries? If life a gift for the tadpole that's stuck in the mud and dies shortly after birth? Ultimately, people that don't exist don't go to hell. They don't get cancer. They don't get old. They don't die of hunger due to famine. Life makes suffering and death possible. Nonexistence is peaceful and safe.
There are numerous people that will say divorce was the happiest thing that happened to them. Especially if it was an abusive relationship.
>There are numerous people that will say divorce was the happiest thing that happened to them. That's pretty sad, truthfully.
I'm fairly recently divorced and I think when people say this, it's because generally divorce is not a spur of the moment thing and one or both have been living very unhappy for long periods. So you have this long period of misery about the relationship and then further stress worrying about how to get away from the misery, so when the divorce finally comes, it's a huge high in comparison to what you've been feeling. I can look back now after my divorce and remember happy moments, but my divorce brought me a level of happiness I hadn't felt in years.
So they still encountered sadness, albeit a divorce eventually saved them from it.
Yes, except your post wasn't that "every relationship encounters sadness", now was it?
Bot
...tom
I guess it depends on when the relationship is defined to end. The moment of sadness where enough was enough, or the happiness when it's over.
So going by your reasoning, as all life ends in death (sadness), should we be fearful of being alive and stop giving new life to new babies? Or all food you eat eventually ends up as poop? Obviously, everything that has a beginning will come to an end eventually. That doesn't make the partaking in it meaningless. The activity and journey itself will bring you joy, joy enough to outweigh the sadness when it ends.
Seriously, they just kinda said, all life ends in death and tried to be profound. It’s not how it ends, it’s the journey, OP.
Except for tardigrade, tardigrade is forever. Nah not really though, even they aren't immortal.
But that’s what makes them so worthwhile - both parties knowing that and engaging in it knowing that one day it will end in sadness.
The relationship with the IRS don't end this way. They bever will leave you alone, never forget you.
Even after death
Maybe, but what about all the moments that were made better because you got to share it with the only person you wanted to share it with?
"The pain I feel now *is* the happiness I had before. That's the deal." -C.S. Lewis
"The culmination of love is grief, and yet we love despite the inevitable. We *open* our hearts to it. ... To grieve deeply is to have *loved* fully. Open your heart to the world as you opened it to me, and you will find *every reason* to keep living in it."
That's the human journey It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
It's the hedgehogs dillema. Letting people close opens you up to pain but keeping them away ensures loneliness.
I heard that from an anime before, forgot which one Edit: Neon Genesis Evangelion
I mean... Not all breakups are sad. I had a girlfriend of several months and we ended up splitting because our life goals were different and we weren't unhappy with each other just wanted each of us to find a person that better aligned... But the relationship was fun, we both helped each other get over a previous relationship and we both had relationships pretty quickly afterward lol At the time it felt like the most mature thing I've ever done, I was like "cool, this is what adult relationships feel like." But it was just sort of a one time thing for me. My marriage (different woman) has been awesome though.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. - Winnie the Pooh” - hulkhogansfilmcareer
“Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story.” Richard Siken, War of the Foxes
death doesnt have to be sad, nor does breaking up or drifting apart. thats just how you may view them
Owning a pet always ends in sadness. But I would not trade my time with my cats for anything
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and all that shit - Shakespeare, probably
Relationships, youth, opportunities, life. Everything ends, because otherwise we couldn't fully appreciate them as they deserve.
Sure, and all cake either ends up in the trash or in the toilet. Doesn't make cake any less awesome, though. :)
This idea was haunting me so i journaled out my thoughts a while ago and are going to share them here My jouney is like ash ketchums journey. He makes a ton of friends along the way and then they split up and go their own journey. After that ash makes new friends and the pattern repeats. My life is like that. The difference is that ash kind of stays friends with everyone. The relationships i've been in, we just realize that we weren't compatible anymore and go our own way with no intention of catching up again. At first this saddened me, but then i realized that i can still appreciate the good aspacts of those relationships, what i learned from it, and how i grew in it. Its even important to let relationships go before they get really toxic. If you hold onto something that is really not working and not going to work, it starts to eat at you. If you let it go before it gets toxic then i just end up appreciating the relationship. Like ash ketchum, i still appreciate those friendships and look back on them with fond memories
There is a slim wedge of another option: people whose romantic relationship drifts away while their friendship grows. They may decide to dissolve the overall relationship in order for them to pursue other romantic interests, while maintaining the great friendship with each other. Granted, I'm sure such unusual scenarios are quite rare. Just a tiny spot of hope to consider. And from another perspective, I can definitely say that the sum of emotions from each of my past relationships is positive. While each had a period of sadness at the end, none came close to outweighing either the positive emotions of the journey or the feeling of having improved as a person along the way.
Incorrect. Relationship in the general meaning has a whole spectrum of connotation. You can have a relationship with alcohol. You can end that relationship. That’s quite often positive.
They don’t end ‘in sadness’ then, they just end. What you’ve surmised is that any ending is implicitly ‘sad’ and actually this is completely subjective. Only sad if you find it sad. In essence it’s just another state, another form. As long as there are beginnings, there are ends. And the only absolute truth is death. I’m not challenging you or anything by the way, as it’s not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing or wrong vs right. It’s just interesting to see how drastically our viewpoint can change when we reevaluate or even remove the sentimental aspects entirely
Or breakup in the heart, drifting alert in the heart, or death in the heart, but still staying together physically.
I don’t think the relationship per say is what inflicts the pain. Rather the resentment and bitterness of people who don’t feel fulfilled in the relationship. Which can be counteracted by proper communication
Yeah all life eventually ends in death you've just got to make the most of it and enjoy it while it's happening. Don't think about the end just live in the moment
"Chapter 3: Part One Separation is normal. When asked why people break up, there is not one simple answer. A sense of self-knowledge and intentional awareness is a catalyst between the communication of two partners hoping to achieve emotional intimacy. But it can also expose desires that are not shared between said partners. Sometimes, relationships end because partners evolve over time. Sometimes, they end because one partner does not feel deserving of love. Sometimes they end due to infidelity or due to thoughts of such actions. And sometimes, maybe more often than not, they just end. Similarly to people, sometimes love can die unexpectedly because sometimes the ego of one partner can suffocate the shared joy. Everything ends." This is how one of my favorite songs starts. It's called Violent Smile by Hotel Books. I figured this kinda ties in with what OP.
The joke is; 50% of marriages end in divorce… The other 50% end in death.
John Schneider on widowhood. Beautifully worded and heartbreaking. Show this video to those that need the reminder that ‘it’s a road well travelled (with a reward at the end of it)’ or to those that don’t understand or think ‘it has been long enough’. So sorry for you loss, John. https://youtu.be/6RxAT0XeV6k
But what is the destination if not for the journey? Just because we know the ending will be sad does not take away from the life we live getting there.
I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance-Garth Brooks
Yeah but that breakup usually ends in new flowers blooming and that’s why I’m doing much better and appreciate my ex breaking up with me now. Sure I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her but I’ve been doing so much better in life especially career wise. I’m actually grateful and wish I could tell her without sounding like a douche.
Yes, all things in life are eventually going to end and they all will end with some sort of suffering attached. Intro to Buddhism.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ...a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 ESV
Life is life and death. It comes with happiness and sadness. Both augment eachother.
Not if you’re the one who killed them and you’re happy about it
The price of love is grief. If you aren't grieving at the end of it all, you didn't love properly. Real love will be the most amazing, joyful, yet excruciating thing any of us can ever hope to experience. But to enjoy the good, you have to welcome the bad, that's just the price it takes.
Can’t have happiness without sadness. Can’t have sadness without happiness. Applies to everything.
Nope. Not all of them... my divorce was one of the happiest events in my life.
"What is grief, if not love persevering?" -Vision, of all fucking ~~people~~ androids
“The price of love is loss but still we pay. We love anyway.” - Next to Normal My deepest loss was my soul cat. But there is NOTHING I would change. I love her so much and she is why I am here today. She saved my life and got me through the toughest times of my life. If my spouse dies before I do, I, again, wouldn’t change anything. We have been together a decade and it’s been the best decade. It will have been worth all the pain in the world.
So we must love all our relatives, both those who, in accordance with the laws of birth, we want to outlive us, and those who, with complete justification, we pray will predecease us; but we must love them in the knowledge that we have received no promise that their lives will be endless, indeed no promise that they will be long. Our minds need frequent prompting to love things on the understanding that we are sure to lose them, or rather that we are already losing them: you should treat all of fortune’s gifts as coming without a guarantee. Consolation to Marcia 10.3
Yup. Every relationship you have will end. If you’re lucky you’ll outlive everyone and get to carry on in a completely new social world. Life is fun.
You never chose to be here in the first place, you still have to live through it so you make the best of it and at some point it’s taken away. Knowing that we didn’t willingly choose to be here somehow makes having to leave more comforting
False, I've had an amicable breakup before, and am still friends with them. Rare I imagine, but it happens
That's why people invented an omnipotent, omnipresent, immortal and ever loving being, a.k.a. GOD who will never disappoint you if you worship him selflessly. Not a popular opinion here probably.
Remember, a relationship is about the journey and not the destination
And this is why deep down I’m a nihilist and I kinda hate life. Eveything sucks even nice things about life
Death doesn't always mean sadness. I'd be delighted if some people I knew died.
It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
I don't know, it's rare but there are people out there happily divorce away when the marriage stop being what they want. You don't have to be sad, it's just life.
The measure or importance of something is not always found in how it ends
My wife and I agreed that if anything happen to either of us we would want the other to love again. If either of us could bring ourselves to, anyway. I dunno if I could love anyone like that again.
But the point is hopefully you procreated and replaced yourselves. It's not the destination, it's the journey that counts.
True, that’s how they end. But how they begin and the ride along the way are worth it if you truly love each other.
if you grow old together, then it isn't a "goodbye". it's a "see you later".
Just because something isn’t permanent doesn’t mean it’s worthless.
I agree wholeheartedly. I have been saying since I was about 13 that humans are not meant to have long-term relationships. They always end in some form of sadness and aloneness and indeed, loneliness and disappointment.
"[...]though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
comeuntochrist.org lds.org gospel library app if anyone's struggling this has a lot of good resources that can help https://youtu.be/vXg9wWIN-Xo https://youtu.be/3n-DOKBffuU call or text 988 liveonutah.org If you want, if not ignore me.
Finding someone is easier than you think op, just keep trying 👍
So cherish and enjoy them while they last. Also, things have to end to make place for new things to begin.
"Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
Because monogamy isn't what most men want, it's not natural and they're too scared to actually say it, and as a society we're too naive to realise and accept it.
So men should stop trying to make women be monogamous
Lol men aren't "making" women or anyone monogamous wtf? Lmao
They absolutely are trying
Not really lol
Some relationships part peacefully. Mutually decide to go on your own way. Sorry for your loss OP
What about if you both die in a car crash at the same time? That's a pretty happy ending.
Which is why you don't focus on the destination, nihilist. For the journey is more enjoyable and valuable.
Yep, literally every great love story ends in tragedy. But it’s worth it.