"Ma'am, you're absolutely right. It's a terrible look for our community's educators to be so underpaid they have to work multiple jobs to survive. I have often thought about whether or not it's financially feasible for me to continue teaching..."
This one right here. I'm also one that thinks up insults in the shower and let's them out at Dungeons and Dragons in the form of Vicious Mockery so I feel like I can't roast OP too hard for the in the moment but over text? You have time to craft the Ultimate Sentence of Pain as though you are my mother. C'mon OP tag us in immediately next time for the perfect clap back.
Edit: NotATeacher just a former "gifted child" whose friends were teachers and despite not being subbed, reddit knows I will click on damn near anything that they notify me of on this subreddit please feel free to ignore and disregard my opinion (just don't be too mean about it)
Edit part 2: I'll take the unexpected upvotes. Normally they're only around when on my FGB and NCLB rants.
Something about "servers making more on tips than the educators cultivating the minds of our future is a pretty sad world we live in."
I would cut out the "if this is feasible for me to continue teaching" as that will be the only thing she hears and goes to higher ups say you already have one foot out the door.
Serving drunks is more important than serving our youth. Or at least that's how society voted with their dollars anyway.
My mom was a teacher and worked at the local amusement park during the summers. It was great because we got in for free and she could also use it as a way to teach about physics in a fun way.
I agree with the sentiment. My mom made dick teaching headstart for 30 years, I made slightly more as adjunct faculty at a public university... But it might be the wrong play if you want a sympathetic administration at the school.
"... And until such time as I'm able to stop bartending, I'll keep your usual stocked. What was it again? I can't remember. I suppose I'll ask your grandchild."
"If you'd donate my summer earnings to me as a gift and square it away with uncle Sam I'd gladly hang up my apron. Until then, I have a life and goals that need to be funded."
I'm a firm believer that before you can become a parent and are allowed to comment on anything teacher related, you must teach a group of 36 kids with half on serious IEPs and the other half the children of ignorant helicopter tiger parents that hate your soul, with at least 1 hour dedicated to sitting in your room looking at your highway-of-a-robbery and abysmally low paycheck every day while your principal tells you to build better relationships after that one kid immune from any repercussions destroys your classroom.
Until you do, you should not be allowed to have children. And if you do, you should do everything in your power to enhance the lives of teachers. So that they will have a great work life balance where they don't need to work a second or third job. So they can give your children the education they deserve.
Tbh, that should also be a thing. Not only do you learn valuable problem solving skills, you learn how to deal with unreasonable people... something that only serves you well in your teaching career.
Why not just make mandatory public service a requirement. This could be military, medical, education, social services, police work, etc etc any public service you have to put in 2 years of service for your country.
And you absolutely can't buy your way out of it or work for your parents' company. You have to mix it up with the plebs and get a taste of reality while providing a service to your country.
Honestly, because it only works in countries that are already incredibly well-unified and homogeneous. Looking at countries with mandatory service, you see the ones in Eastern Europe, you see Korea, you see Israel (with the exception of ultraorthodox, which might end soon and result in no small amount of conflict).
Mandatory service in America would be a shitshow - every interest group would be raging at every other. Imagine if one group got cushier postings than others because of higher average test scores. Imagine if one group got cushy postings at the same rate as others despite lower average aptitude. Every politician involved would be excoriated.
Shoot, before you’re allowed to serve on a school board or other education committee, you should be required to spend at least a week subbing at the lowest performing school in your area.
Could you imagine showing up to a bar and your teacher is there to stop you 😂😂😂.
Interestingly enough I live in Canada where the legal age is 18, so it happens in small towns.
You having a second job isn’t unprofessional. It’s unreasonable for this grandparent to put you in that situation.
I would love to see their reaction. As a student teacher, I once ran into a bunch of students in a mosh pit on a Saturday night. It was an all ages event, they were technically allowed to be there, but their faces were priceless.
I am a teachers aide. It is common for me to run into my students and former students in the community. They ALL get this terrified, gaping look. I would find it quite humorous to see them at a mosh pit or concert.
I ran into my HS football coach at an open frat party in college. He had quit my HS where he had taught my senior year and went back to college the next year.
I got to tutor one of mine through physics in college. He taught bio and was taking classes to get another certification. I'd stop by the high school after practice but before class to help him with his homework. I'd graduated the year before, so I knew pretty much every player on the team.
Well, I never actually had him as a teacher, he taught younger grades (it was a very small school but he knew who I was) It was awkward, but to be fair I saw him at big open party type things for years afterwards, we'd just nod and move on. We never moved in the same circles in college so it wasn't like we ever interacted.
In Junior High in the late 70s, I once ran into my teacher in the mall at Spencer's Gifts looking at the sex toys and sex gifts. When he saw me looking at him, his eyes got super huge and he ran out of there so fast. The expression on his face! 🤣
I went to a wedding of a former student (friends of family) and some other former students that were sipping on a cocktail and freaked out because I was now aware they were drinking. It was all legal at that point by the way, but I think it’s almost reflexive to get nervous.
For the record, I had heard rumors about what they had gotten up to on senior ditch day a few years prior so I already aware that they drank.
That’s cute. I ran into one of my Kindergarten students at Costco, and she expressed amazement. Her mom said to her that I had to eat too. 😂 The best, however, was running into another student (first grader) at our public library (I’m the school librarian). She was shocked that I would go to another library.
Yeah. I love running into a student at the grocery store and the next day they are all big eyed telling their friends “I saw Ms Hag at Kroger yesterday” as if I was at an orgy or something.
Like dude, Really? It’s the freaking grocery store.
….as a middle school student, for me it was the teacher who said “Hey Commenter I saw you at Bookstore!”
A couple years later, a retired teacher who occasionally substituted was as much of a mall rat as I was, so when she finally taught my class for a few weeks (regular teacher on leave due to a death in her family that, honestly, was a long time coming), I said “I’m confused, shouldn’t we be at the mall?”
And at the end of her time subbing she did indeed say to me “Well Commenter I’ll see you at the mall if nowhere else!”
(Our nickname for one another was Mall Rat)
My middle school students are hilarious because they’re still learning some boundaries and they’re not sure if they should come up to me in public or not. So a lot of they will beckon me over in class the next day and whisper, “I saw you in Walmart yesterday, but I didn’t want to bother you. Are those your kids?”
I ran into my former elementary principal in a bar and I was drunk. I was of age. But drunk. She called me a week later to interview for a position at her school. We had a good laugh about it. I did not, however, get the job.
Totally opposite situation, but funny.... I teach 11th & 12th grade. Well, I go to get my Brazilian wax & my esthetician turns out to be one of my former students 🙃🤭😬
Believe me, I thought about it, but they have a cancelation policy. I would have had to pay the $75 ...so I sucked up my humiliation & did it. I offered if it was too uncomfortable for her & she was like, "Hell no! See one vagina, you've seen em all" I tipped her 25%
I'm not a teacher, but the rumor in my school was that the headteacher actually owned a bar. Nobody knew which.
I actually did drink with some of my high school teachers a few months after graduation.
High school baseball coach used to moonlight as a Staff Pro at a local concert venue. Really weird seeing coach Conlin working the barricade at a Megadeth show.
In Ontario it’s 19. I had my high school bully and her friends show up to the restaurant where I was working at the time. I made sure that their waitress carded them all. 😂😂 They were pretty pissed off.
I work at a summer camp and my co counselor is also a bar tender after work (she has to leave early on Friday because here work time is different at the bar)
I mean… it does create a bad image for the community and school, just not the one she thinks. I’ve known teachers who have all sorts of second jobs, roofers, bartenders, small time real estate moguls and the only way that reflects badly on the community is for underpaying highly educated pillars of the community. Also, some people (not me, I have a one year old I’d like to spend as much time with as possible) just like still having a thing to do, good on them!
Honestly, it’s pretty fun and I make way more than I do teaching (more than I will for quite a few years honestly) so I have a feeling this job might continue into the school year. Great way to spend my evenings, and a very similar skill set to teaching imo.
No criticism here.
But, the fact you can make MORE bartending PT than teaching FT proves that something is seriously broken. I presume you are in the USA.
We need to be paying teachers, paras, therapists, and the rest of education staff enough that they do not have to take 2nd and 3rd jobs.
I should clarify, I make more per hour. I probably won’t bring in as much bartending for the year as I do teaching, but I only work a few nights a week. It is certainly possible for some people, but not for me and not at this particular bar lol.
That’s not to say the sentiment of your comment was wrong by any means, I just didn’t want to be misleading.
This actually reminds me of a friend's complaint. She was a waitress at a local dive bar while in Uni, and when she finished her course was hired by the city library. A regular said he was glad she was finally getting "a real job"
She was pissed, she was taking a huge pay cut to go work at the library.
Completely. Between bartending, bouncing, and cooking in the same Irish pub I managed to get both my kid through college TOO. My admin knew where I worked and would stop in to give me fat tips.
I finally had to quit at age 50. My goddam pub usually didn’t lock up until about 5 AM. Working in NY is a money maker but the hours will kill you.
In high school and college summers I used to work at our local sport stadium as a vendor in the stands slinging beer. I was fired in college because I didn’t work for a year (I was in school and had a summer internship in another state, reasonable of them, had I been wiser I would’ve quit). If they didn’t have a zero tolerance policy for rehiring people they fired I’d probably still be doing it on weekends, such a fun job and great exercise.
I used to sling beer at a stadium stand! It was hectic, but it made pretty damn good money. Plus now I'm like really good at pouring beers.
EDIT: Aww now I'm all nostalgic about it, lol
That's what I was thinking too. It DOES look bad for the community and school, but rather than solve the problem they just want you to be poor/underpaid more out of sight.
Reminds me of a tweet where a woman was telling someone about how they got their outfit at the thrift store. The boss talked to them later and said they shouldn't say things like that, it makes it look like he's not paying her enough. But... he wasn't paying her enough.
Or when a parent gets upset when you point out awful things they did as a parent, upset that you made them look bad.
"Maybe you should concentrate on the issue of the school not paying teachers enough so that it ruins its own public image."
Or
"I understand your criticism but take it one step further. Why do you think I'm working here right now? I would be happy to be able to work less but the community needs to demand teachers get paid a living wage for that to happen..... we do accept tips by the way."
I don’t think that’s a great response either. Going to a bar and drinking responsibly shouldn’t be something we demonize either.
The teacher bartending isn’t an issue. The grandma going to the bar isn’t an issue.
Grandma texting the teacher and being upset is the issue.
And this is the reason why no parent will ever have my real number.
Could post this to /r/boomersbeingfools and rake in a ton of karma for that level stupidity from the grandma.
I refuse to believe that anyone of my generation could be a grandmother, but I have friends I graduated high school with that have their own high school graduates, so it’s definitely possible. Where the heck did time go?
For real! I graduated high school 30 years ago. I'll be 50 in 2 years. I could go on, because there are so many things. But what gets me most, is that my sister has an 11-year-old grandson. My sister is a grandmother! 😲🤯😭
I had a millennial parent who turned the blindest of eyes when we, as a staff, *begged* her to do something about her 14-year-old daughter's numerous attempts to turn her into a grandmother...this was in 2014-15 and *mom was 28...*
But let mom tell it, we were always picking on her daughter. Wonder how they're doing today.
I wouldn't respond at all to granny's email, but I would forward it to your principal. At my school I'd also forward it to my team members and we'd laugh.
Oh, I don’t plan on responding to the text. I meant next time I inevitably see her in the bar. Maybe she was so offended she’ll never come back, but she seemed to be having a good time so I wouldn’t be surprised if I see her again.
You can refuse the right to serve anyone based on any reason that isn't federally protected. Being a nosey bitch and a busy body are not federally protected.
That grandma can find another bar so she is no longer bothered by the district paying teachers shit.
You have the right to refuse service to people who are intoxicated right? And that's up to the employees judgement? I'd say you are just doing your job for the community in not serving drunks.
Walk up to her table, feign surprise, and say you know how much it offends her when you wait on her, and that’s the LAST thing you’d want, so you’ll get another staff member.
"Ma'am, you didn't tip me well enough to lecture me about what I do in my free time." Then tell her to only contact you through official means, like work email.
Veteran teacher here and yes- I learned my first year to never give out my number after a parent left a long voice mail after 10 pm complaining that I wasn’t a good teacher. It’s a rookie mistake that lots of us have made.
Her reactive stance strikes me as a defense mechanism to combat the awkwardness of the situation. She, too, was in the bar. She is a grandmother. The same rigid line of thinking that would vilify a teacher being in a bar also vilifies a grandmother being in one. Her calling you out is putting you on the defense.
If you have a solid relationship with your admin and want to note it for documentation purposes, that's up to you.
There is a zero percent chance you are going to say anything to this woman that will remove the tension from the situation and replace it with understanding. So, say what you want. Or nothing at all.
In my elementary school, we have kindergartners using profanity that I didn't know existed until I was in my teens. They are telling dirty jokes in second grade and talking about R rated movies like it's no big deal. Kids are exposed to everything under the sun by the time they leave 5th grade.
You working in a bar in the middle of the summer where none of your students will be involved is the least of their problems. If you were waiting tables in a restaurant where alcohol was served, it would be no different.
Grandma needs a gummy and a nap.
I ran into two of my daughter's teacher who were tending bar. They were scared, since they taught at a Catholic school. I kept my mouth shut: Teachers get paid shit, and they were earning more in tips over a weekend than they did in a month at the school!!
“I’m sorry to hear that you think my public image would be harmed by me being gainfully employed. On the bright side, at least I wasn’t there drinking!”
Talk to your bar manager and show them the texts and say that you’re being made to feel uncomfortable coming into work because of her. Then the next time she comes in, have your manager serve her and talk to her about the texts and how it’s not appropriate to message bar staff and harass them about other areas of their life.
"Hello, I gave you this number for use regarding "student". My having a part-time job to supplement the limited income teachers receive does not involve "student". In the future, please refrain from using this number for anything personal related as I will not respond. Have a good summer and hope to see you at "Bar's Name" soon!"
"Hello Ms \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_,
I appreciated meeting you at my other job at an establishment that sells alcoholic substances to adults. This is my second job and I need to work this job to pay my bills. If you have an issue with me working my second job, I am accepting donations if you have any. Otherwise, I need to do this completely legal thing to live. I hope you appreciated the drinks that I sold you and make sure you tell Billy to do his summer reading!
Cheers!
Add your name"
Send her a copy of the movie Mean Girls and a note saying:
“Ma’am teachers working a second job as a bartender in the US is so common it is a plot line in a blockbuster movie from 20 years ago. Just because it offends you doesn’t mean it isn’t a totally normalised option for teachers needing to make rent whilst teaching.
Alternatively, would you be able to set up a go fund me for me, asking the local community for donations so I don’t need to work a second job to pay my rent, and therefore not offend the community by my need to afford housing in the community to teach the children of the community?
Or, I could just quit teaching and take up bar tending full time? I would earn more with less stress and less working hours.
Perhaps you could organise a community vote on the above three options and get back to me? Since you seem to think you’ve been given the power to make my life decisions.”
Change your number, use a Google Voice number in the future.
Also don't respond to idiots like the grandmother.
Finally thought - get the hell out of that town.
I'm a bartending teacher but the bar is in another city. I'd avoid tending anywhere near my district. I have served a few parents and principals and a ton of teachers! lol. I'd never bring it up to my class or my parents. That grandparent is being rude. Can you block her? When she comes in, can someone else serve her?
This is what I don't get about the teachers who have been "found out" as strippers or on OF ... if it's bad image for a teacher to be doing this, what does it say about the one who found them out (usually a parent who frequents the establishment)?
Personally, I wouldn’t say anything to her. The way she contacted you unrelated to teaching her grandchild was inappropriate. I’d go straight to admin and get it documented in case it escalates (e.g. her slandering you in the community) you have documentation of her inappropriate behavior.
For example:
Dear Principal/Assistant Principal/Whoever,
I received communication from a student’s grandparent that I found inappropriate. (Attach screen shots). I just wanted to loop you in to ensure that all communicating remains professional for the benefit of [student]
Tell grandma: “Your grandkid might just be my bartender in the future. If that happens, I’ll tell them how rude you were to me when I was a bartender. Consider it ongoing education.”
My wife has been a teacher in one district for 20 years now… Former students are now hosts, servers, and bartenders at our favorite haunts. Telling a former student “you were kinda an asshole in my class” is usually good for a free drink.
And before students entered the mix, it was parents of students who were hosts, servers, and bartenders. And we tipped them well because we could.
Back in the day, when grandma was a young woman, teachers were encouraged to not get second jobs in places that serve alcohol, because of appearances. Tell Grandma that if she doesn’t like the fact that a professionally trained, educated, teacher cannot make ends meet on a teachers salary that maybe she can lead the charge to get higher wages for teachers in her area so that you can spend your summers writing lesson plans and dreaming of PBL ideas for your HS kids. You can be as polite as possible, and be dead serious at the same time.
I'm willing to bet that either a) she wasn't supposed to be drinking, or b) was ashamed you saw her drinking. Either way, she's deflecting on to you.
As far as the phone, get a Google voice number - that way of something happens with a parent you can just get a new one, and your main number stays private.
She doesn’t want to have to curb her drinking, but your presence made it necessary. This had nothing to do with you, really. She’s making it about you to get her own way.
Chances are she won’t escalate this, but if she does, make it about $$$. Don’t try to fight a moral battle with an ahole.
If your admin is anything like mine, they're probably drunk right now as we speak. Don't worry a bit about the grandma. She needed some drama in her boring life. This is also why I don't use my personal number to contact parents.
"Well, yes, I was there too, but I was only there to get directions for how to get AWAY from there!"
"Then why did you have a drink?"
"Mind your own business!"
Why does she have your phone number? Is this an elementary teacher thing? I'm high school and no way in hell does any parent or student have my phone number.
I made the mistake of giving parents/guardians my phone number last year. I got it squared away now where my personal number became my work number and I got a new personal number. I work at a fairly small school where it was the norm, but I regretted it immediately.
You did nothing wrong. People like her enjoy clutching their pearls for the sake of drama.
Block her number (and never give out your private number ever again. You deserve privacy).
I had a fellow educator who went off on me when I suggested getting some food at a local tavern after working until five during an inservice day.She was a veteran teacher and an ultra tight ass. She felt it was her responsibility to guide us younger teachers.
Bear in mind that I was 32 when this happened.
So I decided to be a dick. “You’re telling me that as an adult I cannot get a drink today?”
“Yes. We need to set an example.”
“By not drinking at all? Are you saying that no teachers in this town are allowed to have alcohol for fear of being a bad example?”
“Yes.”
“So I can never drink in this town? Ever? Has temperance come back in force?”
“Well…”
“Because it strikes me as absurd that because I happen to be a teacher, I can never drink in public. Do you think that these kids think we never drink? Their parents probably do, right? And other authority figures, correct?”
*stony face*
“So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to skip the tavern and go to Azteca. Whereupon I will be ordering a margarita sitting in broad daylight. Anyone who wishes to come, first drink’s on me.”
And I walked out to my car. As I got situated, I saw more than a few teachers waving at me to confirm they were going. Not a cheap bill, but the food was awesome and the company a pleasure.
The Elder Voice from that point on only spoke to me when necessary. And I did I discover that that she actually went to our principal and ratted on us. I really didn’t care, but the principal just waved it off and said it was none of her concern.
Seeing a tightassed arrogant ‘mentor’ get shut down was a nice moment. After all, unless I’m teaching in an area that is dry, I should bearable to drink, if just forget for a little bit all of crap we go through. So, cheers!
I really don't get this. Even when I went to school my English teacher was a manager at a local bar, and most of the teacher's would go for drinks together at the restaurant I worked at every second week. She does realize teachers are human right?
But for what you can say, "Okay ma'am, I will make sure to refuse you service in the future so that you don't have to see me in a bar."
I’ve actually had a parent teacher conference in a drive through window at the liquor store. Mom gave me my to-go margs for free and apologized for her son. Ahhh- the good old days 😂. Granny needs to chill.
“You know what creates a bad image for the school and the community? Not paying their teachers enough to live on so they have to go get a second job (such as bartending). If they want to better their public image, they can pay teachers more so we don’t have to do that.”
To maintain your faith in humanity : my mom work at a bar. Since I visit her ONCE at her work and saw one of my student, they don't try it there anymore.
They know I can show up randomly.
(The reality is I go there once in a blue moon. Mostly when my mom forgot something at home and I have to drop it there for her.)
I would not respond to that text (or any future texts). I would not bring it up if you see her again. If she were to say something, I would just say I won’t be back on contract until 8/8/24 and can address it then. Say nothing about teaching.
I would tell her it is your job and you are of an age where it is legal for you to serve drinks. You do not believe it is wrong or immoral to be in a bar or work at one.
However, it does seem that SHE thinks it is immoral to be at a bar, which is surprising since the only reason she would be able to see people doing something she disapproved of is that she enjoys doing it herself.
I wouldn't mention it at all. If you are in a small school it only takes 1 person that knows someone that knows a board member for you to get non renewed. If she mentions it again just tell her you are doing it to try and pay off loans or whatever until you get tenure in teaching. Then you think you'll be able to make it all work.
Once you get tenure tell her to piss off.
“It certainly is a bad look for my public image that my salary is such that I’m required to keep bar in order to keep my bills paid through the year. Would you like to collaborate with me in drafting legislation that will increase property taxes that I and my colleagues might be able to earn a livable wage?”
No response is the best response. I’d also block her number. I wouldn’t address it all going forward, if you see her you say hi and move on 🤷🏼♀️
As for giving out your cell number, I’ve done it for 15 years now and never had an issue. I prefer it and it works for me, doesn’t mean it’s a choice all educators need to make.
Talk to her about how unfortunate it is that teachers in America are forced to take on second jobs. In developed countries around the world, this isn’t a necessity. Maybe you can discuss the ethics of forcing someone to do something and then condemning them for doing it.
Maybe the fact that teachers in America should have to do this is fundamentally shameful, and grandma and cogitate upon that while pouring her own drinks.
That sounds incredibly frustrating! It's tough when people have double standards like that. While it's tempting to come up with a snappy comeback, it might be best to keep things professional to avoid any potential issues with your job. You could politely remind her that bartending is a legitimate job and that you're committed to your teaching career. Maybe something like, "I understand your concerns, but bartending is a way for me to support myself while I focus on being the best teacher I can be. I always maintain professionalism in both roles."
It's great that you have supportive admin, and hopefully, they'll back you up if needed. Hang in there!
“Perhaps ma’am you’ll run for school board or get active in school affairs at the local and/or state level and see to it that hard working teacher like me don’t NEED a second job of ANY kind to get by.
I appreciate your support I advance, thanks. Refill?”
"I agree that it's both sad and a terrible look for the community that they pay teachers so little we have to take on other jobs to survive. But I still have to pay my bills, so here I am."
Let's get real. Grandma just twisted the spotlight on you to take it off of her.
What kind of image does granny-at-a-bar present for her grandchildren??
It's possible she has an issue that she didn't want discovered and it was easier to try and get rid of the evidence. Don't let her manipulation get to you. I bet she tries to find out your schedule from the regulars and will now work on avoiding you.
When I was about 20 I was in a strip club and an older woman sat beside me, was chatting me up, buying me drinks etc. Well after about an hour she started lecturing me about how strip clubs are terrible and she doesn’t know why a young man like myself would ever go to one.
While sitting and drinking in a strip club…
First of all, I am so sorry you even have to get a second job. We all know teacher don’t go into teaching to get rich. We are underpaid and under appreciated. I’m a 5th grade teacher. I get it.
I asked ChatGPT 4o to write petty comeback this is the response:
Next time she comes in, you could say, "I'm surprised to see you here, considering how concerned you were about my 'public image.' If you're so worried about it, maybe we should both find a different bar?"
We had a teacher that was involved in smuggling arms from the Carribean into the U.S. He was on America's most wanted. You have a legitimate job bartending. Tell her to pound sand.
“Thank you for texting me your concerns. It gave me the opportunity to email it to my admin to keep on record in case any disingenuous remarks about me were to surface in the future. They are very aware that their staff must survive during the months they are not paid or in service to the school, as long as it is done in a responsible manner where any employment serving adults is performed in a licensed establishment where no children are present. I am confident that when I served you alcohol at such an establishment I was doing so responsibly. I also know our school community fully supports their teachers finding gainful employment locally so they’re again available to teach when the school year starts. If you have further concerns, feel free to respond.”
Great thing about being a bartender…you have the right to refuse service to anyone at any time. I think you make it clear that grandma will not be getting any service at your bar any longer.
I am also a bartender in the summer, but I bartend in Wisconsin so often I have my students' parents buying ME drinks and shots for putting up with their kids.
I'm sorry you had to experience that. People just don't understand that teachers have their own personal lives outside of school and teachers can serve alcohol when working as a bartender. In fact, I had a civics teacher in high school who worked in the summer and on the weekends during the school year at a liquor store so he could make sure underage kids weren't using fake IDs (since he knew all the kids by name because it was a small school).
My lab partner in biology during college worked as a stripper to help pay her way. Everyone knew the day after the professor had ended up at the strip club where she worked because he was so very obviously uncomfortable when he entered the room and saw her there. (He had gone to a bachelor party 😂😂). She had told me about seeing him there and that he didn't recognize her until well into her performance.
I work at a bar (I’m in college for teaching) and I work with an assistant principal, a speech teacher, and three classroom teachers. Ignore it or send her to admin
I'll be honest - it may feel good to drop a zinger, but you're better off replying with something like:
I have provided my number in case of issues arising related to school and emergencies.
Outside of term time, your message is inappropriate. Comments related to my personal life are inappropriate. I will be blocking you going forwards. If you wish to contact me you can do so via the schools official channels. Blah blah blah.
"Ma'am, you're absolutely right. It's a terrible look for our community's educators to be so underpaid they have to work multiple jobs to survive. I have often thought about whether or not it's financially feasible for me to continue teaching..."
This one is my favorite!
Yes, this! It's exactly what I was thinking, only much more eloquent than what was going on in my head.
This one right here. I'm also one that thinks up insults in the shower and let's them out at Dungeons and Dragons in the form of Vicious Mockery so I feel like I can't roast OP too hard for the in the moment but over text? You have time to craft the Ultimate Sentence of Pain as though you are my mother. C'mon OP tag us in immediately next time for the perfect clap back. Edit: NotATeacher just a former "gifted child" whose friends were teachers and despite not being subbed, reddit knows I will click on damn near anything that they notify me of on this subreddit please feel free to ignore and disregard my opinion (just don't be too mean about it) Edit part 2: I'll take the unexpected upvotes. Normally they're only around when on my FGB and NCLB rants.
Add „You weren‘t complaining when I poured your damned drinks.“
Something about "servers making more on tips than the educators cultivating the minds of our future is a pretty sad world we live in." I would cut out the "if this is feasible for me to continue teaching" as that will be the only thing she hears and goes to higher ups say you already have one foot out the door. Serving drunks is more important than serving our youth. Or at least that's how society voted with their dollars anyway.
My mom was a teacher and worked at the local amusement park during the summers. It was great because we got in for free and she could also use it as a way to teach about physics in a fun way.
I honestly wouldn't reply. Gma will just say OP is just bad at managing money.
I agree with the sentiment. My mom made dick teaching headstart for 30 years, I made slightly more as adjunct faculty at a public university... But it might be the wrong play if you want a sympathetic administration at the school.
"... And until such time as I'm able to stop bartending, I'll keep your usual stocked. What was it again? I can't remember. I suppose I'll ask your grandchild."
I teach high school and I bartend on the weekends. I feel this on a spiritual level.
THIS! If you do it please let us know the response you get.
That was my thought. No way someone who has to put up with my kid all day should have to serve drinks to cranky grandmas at night 😠
Perfect!
"If you'd donate my summer earnings to me as a gift and square it away with uncle Sam I'd gladly hang up my apron. Until then, I have a life and goals that need to be funded."
I'm a firm believer that before you can become a parent and are allowed to comment on anything teacher related, you must teach a group of 36 kids with half on serious IEPs and the other half the children of ignorant helicopter tiger parents that hate your soul, with at least 1 hour dedicated to sitting in your room looking at your highway-of-a-robbery and abysmally low paycheck every day while your principal tells you to build better relationships after that one kid immune from any repercussions destroys your classroom. Until you do, you should not be allowed to have children. And if you do, you should do everything in your power to enhance the lives of teachers. So that they will have a great work life balance where they don't need to work a second or third job. So they can give your children the education they deserve.
This is the teacher version of "everyone should have to work two years of retail, including a Black Friday opener".
Tbh, that should also be a thing. Not only do you learn valuable problem solving skills, you learn how to deal with unreasonable people... something that only serves you well in your teaching career.
Why not just make mandatory public service a requirement. This could be military, medical, education, social services, police work, etc etc any public service you have to put in 2 years of service for your country.
And you absolutely can't buy your way out of it or work for your parents' company. You have to mix it up with the plebs and get a taste of reality while providing a service to your country.
Honestly, because it only works in countries that are already incredibly well-unified and homogeneous. Looking at countries with mandatory service, you see the ones in Eastern Europe, you see Korea, you see Israel (with the exception of ultraorthodox, which might end soon and result in no small amount of conflict). Mandatory service in America would be a shitshow - every interest group would be raging at every other. Imagine if one group got cushier postings than others because of higher average test scores. Imagine if one group got cushy postings at the same rate as others despite lower average aptitude. Every politician involved would be excoriated.
Shoot, before you’re allowed to serve on a school board or other education committee, you should be required to spend at least a week subbing at the lowest performing school in your area.
36? Is that all?
Could you imagine showing up to a bar and your teacher is there to stop you 😂😂😂. Interestingly enough I live in Canada where the legal age is 18, so it happens in small towns. You having a second job isn’t unprofessional. It’s unreasonable for this grandparent to put you in that situation.
I would love to see their reaction. As a student teacher, I once ran into a bunch of students in a mosh pit on a Saturday night. It was an all ages event, they were technically allowed to be there, but their faces were priceless.
I am a teachers aide. It is common for me to run into my students and former students in the community. They ALL get this terrified, gaping look. I would find it quite humorous to see them at a mosh pit or concert.
I ran into my HS football coach at an open frat party in college. He had quit my HS where he had taught my senior year and went back to college the next year.
I got to tutor one of mine through physics in college. He taught bio and was taking classes to get another certification. I'd stop by the high school after practice but before class to help him with his homework. I'd graduated the year before, so I knew pretty much every player on the team.
How was that for you?
Well, I never actually had him as a teacher, he taught younger grades (it was a very small school but he knew who I was) It was awkward, but to be fair I saw him at big open party type things for years afterwards, we'd just nod and move on. We never moved in the same circles in college so it wasn't like we ever interacted.
I'm not a teacher, but holy shit I would take advantage. Monday morning: what happens in the pit stays in the pit *bitch*
In Junior High in the late 70s, I once ran into my teacher in the mall at Spencer's Gifts looking at the sex toys and sex gifts. When he saw me looking at him, his eyes got super huge and he ran out of there so fast. The expression on his face! 🤣
I went to a wedding of a former student (friends of family) and some other former students that were sipping on a cocktail and freaked out because I was now aware they were drinking. It was all legal at that point by the way, but I think it’s almost reflexive to get nervous. For the record, I had heard rumors about what they had gotten up to on senior ditch day a few years prior so I already aware that they drank.
We were fucked when the one liquor store in town that was known to accept fakes hired a teacher part time
That must have been interesting.
"We have to let you go, sales have gone down ever since we hired you."
I’ve got a teacher friend who has confiscated a few fake IDs of students 😂
My students always act like I’m an NPC who doesn’t have a life outside of school… like yes, I do grocery shop, thank you
A kindergartner saw me in public. Was shocked I was there and told his mom that I’m the art teacher that lives in a class at school.
That’s cute. I ran into one of my Kindergarten students at Costco, and she expressed amazement. Her mom said to her that I had to eat too. 😂 The best, however, was running into another student (first grader) at our public library (I’m the school librarian). She was shocked that I would go to another library.
Yeah. I love running into a student at the grocery store and the next day they are all big eyed telling their friends “I saw Ms Hag at Kroger yesterday” as if I was at an orgy or something. Like dude, Really? It’s the freaking grocery store.
My favourite is the kids who tell me they saw me. Yes, I was there too!
….as a middle school student, for me it was the teacher who said “Hey Commenter I saw you at Bookstore!” A couple years later, a retired teacher who occasionally substituted was as much of a mall rat as I was, so when she finally taught my class for a few weeks (regular teacher on leave due to a death in her family that, honestly, was a long time coming), I said “I’m confused, shouldn’t we be at the mall?” And at the end of her time subbing she did indeed say to me “Well Commenter I’ll see you at the mall if nowhere else!” (Our nickname for one another was Mall Rat)
Gas light them! Me? Kroger? Nope, they just plug me in to recharge when you guys leave…..
My middle school students are hilarious because they’re still learning some boundaries and they’re not sure if they should come up to me in public or not. So a lot of they will beckon me over in class the next day and whisper, “I saw you in Walmart yesterday, but I didn’t want to bother you. Are those your kids?”
That’s very sweet!
It's the reverse here. I'm the teacher that always goes out of their way to say hi especially if they clearly want to ignore my existence.
I once had a kid dive behind an aisle of chips at Walmart to avoid conversation when I saw him with his mom there.
I ran into my former elementary principal in a bar and I was drunk. I was of age. But drunk. She called me a week later to interview for a position at her school. We had a good laugh about it. I did not, however, get the job.
Totally opposite situation, but funny.... I teach 11th & 12th grade. Well, I go to get my Brazilian wax & my esthetician turns out to be one of my former students 🙃🤭😬
I can handle the liquor stuff but I’d have noped right out of there
Believe me, I thought about it, but they have a cancelation policy. I would have had to pay the $75 ...so I sucked up my humiliation & did it. I offered if it was too uncomfortable for her & she was like, "Hell no! See one vagina, you've seen em all" I tipped her 25%
Aye!!!! That’s hilarious but wow! I had a coworker give birth and one of the nurses was a students parent. She was the one stitching her up 🤪
I'm not a teacher, but the rumor in my school was that the headteacher actually owned a bar. Nobody knew which. I actually did drink with some of my high school teachers a few months after graduation.
As a teen I would have dropped dead lol
High school baseball coach used to moonlight as a Staff Pro at a local concert venue. Really weird seeing coach Conlin working the barricade at a Megadeth show.
I taught high school and bartended as a second job in my city. The amount of my own students I had to kick out from them using fake IDs at the door. 😂
One of my high school teachers worked part-time at Victoria’s Secret
In Ontario it’s 19. I had my high school bully and her friends show up to the restaurant where I was working at the time. I made sure that their waitress carded them all. 😂😂 They were pretty pissed off.
I work at a summer camp and my co counselor is also a bar tender after work (she has to leave early on Friday because here work time is different at the bar)
>I live in Canada where the legal age is 18 Only in Alberta, Manitoba and Quebec. Most of Canada is 19.
I’m in part of Canada where the legal age is 18. I guess I should have said that.
It isn't 19? I'm from Detroit, so 19 was the magic number for going to anything in Ontario 😂
I mean… it does create a bad image for the community and school, just not the one she thinks. I’ve known teachers who have all sorts of second jobs, roofers, bartenders, small time real estate moguls and the only way that reflects badly on the community is for underpaying highly educated pillars of the community. Also, some people (not me, I have a one year old I’d like to spend as much time with as possible) just like still having a thing to do, good on them!
Honestly, it’s pretty fun and I make way more than I do teaching (more than I will for quite a few years honestly) so I have a feeling this job might continue into the school year. Great way to spend my evenings, and a very similar skill set to teaching imo.
No criticism here. But, the fact you can make MORE bartending PT than teaching FT proves that something is seriously broken. I presume you are in the USA. We need to be paying teachers, paras, therapists, and the rest of education staff enough that they do not have to take 2nd and 3rd jobs.
I should clarify, I make more per hour. I probably won’t bring in as much bartending for the year as I do teaching, but I only work a few nights a week. It is certainly possible for some people, but not for me and not at this particular bar lol. That’s not to say the sentiment of your comment was wrong by any means, I just didn’t want to be misleading.
This actually reminds me of a friend's complaint. She was a waitress at a local dive bar while in Uni, and when she finished her course was hired by the city library. A regular said he was glad she was finally getting "a real job" She was pissed, she was taking a huge pay cut to go work at the library.
You are not the only teacher though. I also had a teacher who bartended private parties and had a roommate. Another, tutored online.
You should ask grandma if she will help you grade when she comes in on your next shift.
Completely. Between bartending, bouncing, and cooking in the same Irish pub I managed to get both my kid through college TOO. My admin knew where I worked and would stop in to give me fat tips. I finally had to quit at age 50. My goddam pub usually didn’t lock up until about 5 AM. Working in NY is a money maker but the hours will kill you.
In high school and college summers I used to work at our local sport stadium as a vendor in the stands slinging beer. I was fired in college because I didn’t work for a year (I was in school and had a summer internship in another state, reasonable of them, had I been wiser I would’ve quit). If they didn’t have a zero tolerance policy for rehiring people they fired I’d probably still be doing it on weekends, such a fun job and great exercise.
I used to sling beer at a stadium stand! It was hectic, but it made pretty damn good money. Plus now I'm like really good at pouring beers. EDIT: Aww now I'm all nostalgic about it, lol
That's what I was thinking too. It DOES look bad for the community and school, but rather than solve the problem they just want you to be poor/underpaid more out of sight. Reminds me of a tweet where a woman was telling someone about how they got their outfit at the thrift store. The boss talked to them later and said they shouldn't say things like that, it makes it look like he's not paying her enough. But... he wasn't paying her enough. Or when a parent gets upset when you point out awful things they did as a parent, upset that you made them look bad.
"Maybe you should concentrate on the issue of the school not paying teachers enough so that it ruins its own public image." Or "I understand your criticism but take it one step further. Why do you think I'm working here right now? I would be happy to be able to work less but the community needs to demand teachers get paid a living wage for that to happen..... we do accept tips by the way."
Dude, in our district the Assistant Superintendent is a Summertime Bartender. Don't reply back, just ignore.
My AP is a bartender on a party boat that is owned by a teacher in the same school.
You don't need a response. If she brings it up again, then "*I thought you were kidding".*
“I’m working, you’re drinking. This is a poorer reflection of you than me”
This is the response right here.
I don’t think that’s a great response either. Going to a bar and drinking responsibly shouldn’t be something we demonize either. The teacher bartending isn’t an issue. The grandma going to the bar isn’t an issue. Grandma texting the teacher and being upset is the issue.
Mic 🎤 Drop!!!
And this is the reason why no parent will ever have my real number. Could post this to /r/boomersbeingfools and rake in a ton of karma for that level stupidity from the grandma.
This. Unless the school is paying your phone bill, there is absolutely no reason for any parent to have your number.
Could be a Gen X grandma (or god forbid a millennial grandma)
I refuse to believe that anyone of my generation could be a grandmother, but I have friends I graduated high school with that have their own high school graduates, so it’s definitely possible. Where the heck did time go?
lauren boebert is a grandma, born in 86
For real! I graduated high school 30 years ago. I'll be 50 in 2 years. I could go on, because there are so many things. But what gets me most, is that my sister has an 11-year-old grandson. My sister is a grandmother! 😲🤯😭
I had a millennial parent who turned the blindest of eyes when we, as a staff, *begged* her to do something about her 14-year-old daughter's numerous attempts to turn her into a grandmother...this was in 2014-15 and *mom was 28...* But let mom tell it, we were always picking on her daughter. Wonder how they're doing today.
I’d ask, “Are you speaking for all the drunk grandmothers at the school?”
I wouldn't respond at all to granny's email, but I would forward it to your principal. At my school I'd also forward it to my team members and we'd laugh.
Oh, I don’t plan on responding to the text. I meant next time I inevitably see her in the bar. Maybe she was so offended she’ll never come back, but she seemed to be having a good time so I wouldn’t be surprised if I see her again.
You can refuse the right to serve anyone based on any reason that isn't federally protected. Being a nosey bitch and a busy body are not federally protected. That grandma can find another bar so she is no longer bothered by the district paying teachers shit.
Maybe she’ll realize she was an asshole and be super nice and tip well. This is the least likely outcome lol
You have the right to refuse service to people who are intoxicated right? And that's up to the employees judgement? I'd say you are just doing your job for the community in not serving drunks.
Walk up to her table, feign surprise, and say you know how much it offends her when you wait on her, and that’s the LAST thing you’d want, so you’ll get another staff member.
"Ma'am, you didn't tip me well enough to lecture me about what I do in my free time." Then tell her to only contact you through official means, like work email.
Um, she has your number? Email, fine-ish. Still, she should understand boundaries.
As I said another comment, that was my fault, and something I had to learn the hard way in my first year.
Parentsquare, Google Voice, or work email is the best way. Preferably only the service your school uses.
Veteran teacher here and yes- I learned my first year to never give out my number after a parent left a long voice mail after 10 pm complaining that I wasn’t a good teacher. It’s a rookie mistake that lots of us have made.
Her reactive stance strikes me as a defense mechanism to combat the awkwardness of the situation. She, too, was in the bar. She is a grandmother. The same rigid line of thinking that would vilify a teacher being in a bar also vilifies a grandmother being in one. Her calling you out is putting you on the defense. If you have a solid relationship with your admin and want to note it for documentation purposes, that's up to you. There is a zero percent chance you are going to say anything to this woman that will remove the tension from the situation and replace it with understanding. So, say what you want. Or nothing at all. In my elementary school, we have kindergartners using profanity that I didn't know existed until I was in my teens. They are telling dirty jokes in second grade and talking about R rated movies like it's no big deal. Kids are exposed to everything under the sun by the time they leave 5th grade. You working in a bar in the middle of the summer where none of your students will be involved is the least of their problems. If you were waiting tables in a restaurant where alcohol was served, it would be no different. Grandma needs a gummy and a nap.
"remove the tension and replace it with understanding" is a solid line, I'm stealing that.
I ran into two of my daughter's teacher who were tending bar. They were scared, since they taught at a Catholic school. I kept my mouth shut: Teachers get paid shit, and they were earning more in tips over a weekend than they did in a month at the school!!
"Yeah, it really does make the school look bad that I can't make enough money to survive on my teacher salary."
Why does a student's grandmother have your number?
Block her and don’t respond
“I’m sorry to hear that you think my public image would be harmed by me being gainfully employed. On the bright side, at least I wasn’t there drinking!”
Talk to your bar manager and show them the texts and say that you’re being made to feel uncomfortable coming into work because of her. Then the next time she comes in, have your manager serve her and talk to her about the texts and how it’s not appropriate to message bar staff and harass them about other areas of their life.
"Hello, I gave you this number for use regarding "student". My having a part-time job to supplement the limited income teachers receive does not involve "student". In the future, please refrain from using this number for anything personal related as I will not respond. Have a good summer and hope to see you at "Bar's Name" soon!"
"Hello Ms \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, I appreciated meeting you at my other job at an establishment that sells alcoholic substances to adults. This is my second job and I need to work this job to pay my bills. If you have an issue with me working my second job, I am accepting donations if you have any. Otherwise, I need to do this completely legal thing to live. I hope you appreciated the drinks that I sold you and make sure you tell Billy to do his summer reading! Cheers! Add your name"
Maybe this grandma needs to be more of an upstanding member of the community and not show up to drink in public at a dive bar. /s
No response, just really water down her drinks…
Send her a copy of the movie Mean Girls and a note saying: “Ma’am teachers working a second job as a bartender in the US is so common it is a plot line in a blockbuster movie from 20 years ago. Just because it offends you doesn’t mean it isn’t a totally normalised option for teachers needing to make rent whilst teaching. Alternatively, would you be able to set up a go fund me for me, asking the local community for donations so I don’t need to work a second job to pay my rent, and therefore not offend the community by my need to afford housing in the community to teach the children of the community? Or, I could just quit teaching and take up bar tending full time? I would earn more with less stress and less working hours. Perhaps you could organise a community vote on the above three options and get back to me? Since you seem to think you’ve been given the power to make my life decisions.”
Ma’am you chose to spend your money on alcohol rather than taxes, either way you’re paying me.
Change your number, use a Google Voice number in the future. Also don't respond to idiots like the grandmother. Finally thought - get the hell out of that town.
I'm a bartending teacher but the bar is in another city. I'd avoid tending anywhere near my district. I have served a few parents and principals and a ton of teachers! lol. I'd never bring it up to my class or my parents. That grandparent is being rude. Can you block her? When she comes in, can someone else serve her?
Tell that bitch to mind her own business.
This is what I don't get about the teachers who have been "found out" as strippers or on OF ... if it's bad image for a teacher to be doing this, what does it say about the one who found them out (usually a parent who frequents the establishment)?
I would not reply, because judgmental people are a waste of time to argue with.
I wouldn’t respond. At. All.
Personally, I wouldn’t say anything to her. The way she contacted you unrelated to teaching her grandchild was inappropriate. I’d go straight to admin and get it documented in case it escalates (e.g. her slandering you in the community) you have documentation of her inappropriate behavior. For example: Dear Principal/Assistant Principal/Whoever, I received communication from a student’s grandparent that I found inappropriate. (Attach screen shots). I just wanted to loop you in to ensure that all communicating remains professional for the benefit of [student]
“Every time someone votes no for a school levy/bond/etc a teacher gets their bottle opener. I had no choice”
Tell grandma: “Your grandkid might just be my bartender in the future. If that happens, I’ll tell them how rude you were to me when I was a bartender. Consider it ongoing education.” My wife has been a teacher in one district for 20 years now… Former students are now hosts, servers, and bartenders at our favorite haunts. Telling a former student “you were kinda an asshole in my class” is usually good for a free drink. And before students entered the mix, it was parents of students who were hosts, servers, and bartenders. And we tipped them well because we could.
Back in the day, when grandma was a young woman, teachers were encouraged to not get second jobs in places that serve alcohol, because of appearances. Tell Grandma that if she doesn’t like the fact that a professionally trained, educated, teacher cannot make ends meet on a teachers salary that maybe she can lead the charge to get higher wages for teachers in her area so that you can spend your summers writing lesson plans and dreaming of PBL ideas for your HS kids. You can be as polite as possible, and be dead serious at the same time.
I'm willing to bet that either a) she wasn't supposed to be drinking, or b) was ashamed you saw her drinking. Either way, she's deflecting on to you. As far as the phone, get a Google voice number - that way of something happens with a parent you can just get a new one, and your main number stays private.
She doesn’t want to have to curb her drinking, but your presence made it necessary. This had nothing to do with you, really. She’s making it about you to get her own way. Chances are she won’t escalate this, but if she does, make it about $$$. Don’t try to fight a moral battle with an ahole.
"If you tipped better, I could quit my teaching job."
Know what looks bad for the school district? The fact that teachers have to take on second and third jobs to pay bills.
One of you was drinking in public that night, and it wasn't you.
If your admin is anything like mine, they're probably drunk right now as we speak. Don't worry a bit about the grandma. She needed some drama in her boring life. This is also why I don't use my personal number to contact parents.
"Well, yes, I was there too, but I was only there to get directions for how to get AWAY from there!" "Then why did you have a drink?" "Mind your own business!"
Why does she have your phone number? Is this an elementary teacher thing? I'm high school and no way in hell does any parent or student have my phone number.
I made the mistake of giving parents/guardians my phone number last year. I got it squared away now where my personal number became my work number and I got a new personal number. I work at a fairly small school where it was the norm, but I regretted it immediately.
You did nothing wrong. People like her enjoy clutching their pearls for the sake of drama. Block her number (and never give out your private number ever again. You deserve privacy).
No response. Isn’t entitled to one.
Sounds like she doesn't want to be seen you at a bar and/or thinks you may say you saw her at a bar so she's going on offense to "get ahead of it."
How in the heck did she get your personal number?
I had a fellow educator who went off on me when I suggested getting some food at a local tavern after working until five during an inservice day.She was a veteran teacher and an ultra tight ass. She felt it was her responsibility to guide us younger teachers. Bear in mind that I was 32 when this happened. So I decided to be a dick. “You’re telling me that as an adult I cannot get a drink today?” “Yes. We need to set an example.” “By not drinking at all? Are you saying that no teachers in this town are allowed to have alcohol for fear of being a bad example?” “Yes.” “So I can never drink in this town? Ever? Has temperance come back in force?” “Well…” “Because it strikes me as absurd that because I happen to be a teacher, I can never drink in public. Do you think that these kids think we never drink? Their parents probably do, right? And other authority figures, correct?” *stony face* “So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to skip the tavern and go to Azteca. Whereupon I will be ordering a margarita sitting in broad daylight. Anyone who wishes to come, first drink’s on me.” And I walked out to my car. As I got situated, I saw more than a few teachers waving at me to confirm they were going. Not a cheap bill, but the food was awesome and the company a pleasure. The Elder Voice from that point on only spoke to me when necessary. And I did I discover that that she actually went to our principal and ratted on us. I really didn’t care, but the principal just waved it off and said it was none of her concern. Seeing a tightassed arrogant ‘mentor’ get shut down was a nice moment. After all, unless I’m teaching in an area that is dry, I should bearable to drink, if just forget for a little bit all of crap we go through. So, cheers!
“Oh hi! Back again so soon?”, accompanied by a big shit eating grin.
My reply: Did you enjoy your drinks?
I really don't get this. Even when I went to school my English teacher was a manager at a local bar, and most of the teacher's would go for drinks together at the restaurant I worked at every second week. She does realize teachers are human right? But for what you can say, "Okay ma'am, I will make sure to refuse you service in the future so that you don't have to see me in a bar."
I’ve actually had a parent teacher conference in a drive through window at the liquor store. Mom gave me my to-go margs for free and apologized for her son. Ahhh- the good old days 😂. Granny needs to chill.
"Today you will be learning a new word, [grandma]. It is called 'hypocrisy'. Look it up."
“You know what creates a bad image for the school and the community? Not paying their teachers enough to live on so they have to go get a second job (such as bartending). If they want to better their public image, they can pay teachers more so we don’t have to do that.”
Keep the "comeback" to yourself. There are no "points" to be gained. There is no upside. Leave it. Forget it. Move on.
To maintain your faith in humanity : my mom work at a bar. Since I visit her ONCE at her work and saw one of my student, they don't try it there anymore. They know I can show up randomly. (The reality is I go there once in a blue moon. Mostly when my mom forgot something at home and I have to drop it there for her.)
I think it is a bad look for a grandma to be drinking in a bar.
What is a grandma doing in a bar? That's the real scandal. Tell her to go make some cookies and finish her knitting.
I would not respond to that text (or any future texts). I would not bring it up if you see her again. If she were to say something, I would just say I won’t be back on contract until 8/8/24 and can address it then. Say nothing about teaching.
I would tell her it is your job and you are of an age where it is legal for you to serve drinks. You do not believe it is wrong or immoral to be in a bar or work at one. However, it does seem that SHE thinks it is immoral to be at a bar, which is surprising since the only reason she would be able to see people doing something she disapproved of is that she enjoys doing it herself.
That's one reason I never lived in the same town I taught in.
What are you doing there, we all know teachers aren’t allowed to exist outside of the classroom /s
I wouldn't mention it at all. If you are in a small school it only takes 1 person that knows someone that knows a board member for you to get non renewed. If she mentions it again just tell her you are doing it to try and pay off loans or whatever until you get tenure in teaching. Then you think you'll be able to make it all work. Once you get tenure tell her to piss off.
tell her to pay you more, and you won't need to work on a bar
Then keep your grandkids out of the bar
She’s just pissed someone who recognized her saw her in a bar. This is more about her public image than yours.
Block and move on.
The only answer I’d give her is to block her. Immediately. No response. Period.
She got caught going to a bar. She's worried about her image. And is taking it out on you
I’d not respond. People do not like silence. She wants to get u worked up. Don’t allow it.
“It certainly is a bad look for my public image that my salary is such that I’m required to keep bar in order to keep my bills paid through the year. Would you like to collaborate with me in drafting legislation that will increase property taxes that I and my colleagues might be able to earn a livable wage?”
No response is the best response. I’d also block her number. I wouldn’t address it all going forward, if you see her you say hi and move on 🤷🏼♀️ As for giving out your cell number, I’ve done it for 15 years now and never had an issue. I prefer it and it works for me, doesn’t mean it’s a choice all educators need to make.
“Are you more concerned about my second job, or the fact that I may tell your grandchildren how you spend your time?”
Why the fuck is a student's grandma able to text you?
If she want you to live on a teacher salery they need to raise it or stop complaining bcause you need to have a second jobb to pay bills.
Why the fuck have you given any way for a student/parent/grandparent the ability to contact you outside of school? Lol you deserve that. Come on
What does it say about her as a grandparent and role model that she is visiting such an establishment…
Talk to her about how unfortunate it is that teachers in America are forced to take on second jobs. In developed countries around the world, this isn’t a necessity. Maybe you can discuss the ethics of forcing someone to do something and then condemning them for doing it. Maybe the fact that teachers in America should have to do this is fundamentally shameful, and grandma and cogitate upon that while pouring her own drinks.
What a bish
To avoid giving out your real number, create a Google number. It will save you so much annoyance of parents having your actual number.
That sounds incredibly frustrating! It's tough when people have double standards like that. While it's tempting to come up with a snappy comeback, it might be best to keep things professional to avoid any potential issues with your job. You could politely remind her that bartending is a legitimate job and that you're committed to your teaching career. Maybe something like, "I understand your concerns, but bartending is a way for me to support myself while I focus on being the best teacher I can be. I always maintain professionalism in both roles." It's great that you have supportive admin, and hopefully, they'll back you up if needed. Hang in there!
“Perhaps ma’am you’ll run for school board or get active in school affairs at the local and/or state level and see to it that hard working teacher like me don’t NEED a second job of ANY kind to get by. I appreciate your support I advance, thanks. Refill?”
"I agree that it's both sad and a terrible look for the community that they pay teachers so little we have to take on other jobs to survive. But I still have to pay my bills, so here I am."
If you would like to have input on my second job you should vote to raise property taxes in town so they can pay me enough to not need this job
Let's get real. Grandma just twisted the spotlight on you to take it off of her. What kind of image does granny-at-a-bar present for her grandchildren?? It's possible she has an issue that she didn't want discovered and it was easier to try and get rid of the evidence. Don't let her manipulation get to you. I bet she tries to find out your schedule from the regulars and will now work on avoiding you.
“You shouldn’t be drinking at your age. Think of how horrible it will be for your grandchild to lose a loved one to liver disease”
Next time she's in, card her. Give her one watered down drink, then cut her off for being belligerent.
When I was about 20 I was in a strip club and an older woman sat beside me, was chatting me up, buying me drinks etc. Well after about an hour she started lecturing me about how strip clubs are terrible and she doesn’t know why a young man like myself would ever go to one. While sitting and drinking in a strip club…
First of all, I am so sorry you even have to get a second job. We all know teacher don’t go into teaching to get rich. We are underpaid and under appreciated. I’m a 5th grade teacher. I get it. I asked ChatGPT 4o to write petty comeback this is the response: Next time she comes in, you could say, "I'm surprised to see you here, considering how concerned you were about my 'public image.' If you're so worried about it, maybe we should both find a different bar?"
Ma'am, if you keep drinking like that at my bar, I wouldn't have to be a teacher.
“It’s ok. When my students come in I water down their drinks a little bit.”
I wish you could say it creates a bad image for all the grandmas of the world for her to be in a bar. Stay home and crochet Granny!
We had a teacher that was involved in smuggling arms from the Carribean into the U.S. He was on America's most wanted. You have a legitimate job bartending. Tell her to pound sand.
Not as bad of image as a drunk. lush grandma spending all of her time at a bar.
should post this in r/boomersbeingfools
Tell her that being a HS Teacher it makes it easy for you to spot idiots with fake IDs and prevents underage drinking.
“Thank you for texting me your concerns. It gave me the opportunity to email it to my admin to keep on record in case any disingenuous remarks about me were to surface in the future. They are very aware that their staff must survive during the months they are not paid or in service to the school, as long as it is done in a responsible manner where any employment serving adults is performed in a licensed establishment where no children are present. I am confident that when I served you alcohol at such an establishment I was doing so responsibly. I also know our school community fully supports their teachers finding gainful employment locally so they’re again available to teach when the school year starts. If you have further concerns, feel free to respond.”
Great thing about being a bartender…you have the right to refuse service to anyone at any time. I think you make it clear that grandma will not be getting any service at your bar any longer.
How about...you're right, this place can affect your public image, don't worry, I won't tell anyone YOU were here!
I am also a bartender in the summer, but I bartend in Wisconsin so often I have my students' parents buying ME drinks and shots for putting up with their kids. I'm sorry you had to experience that. People just don't understand that teachers have their own personal lives outside of school and teachers can serve alcohol when working as a bartender. In fact, I had a civics teacher in high school who worked in the summer and on the weekends during the school year at a liquor store so he could make sure underage kids weren't using fake IDs (since he knew all the kids by name because it was a small school).
Tell her if she paid enough taxes, teachers wouldn’t need second jobs
My lab partner in biology during college worked as a stripper to help pay her way. Everyone knew the day after the professor had ended up at the strip club where she worked because he was so very obviously uncomfortable when he entered the room and saw her there. (He had gone to a bachelor party 😂😂). She had told me about seeing him there and that he didn't recognize her until well into her performance.
I work at a bar (I’m in college for teaching) and I work with an assistant principal, a speech teacher, and three classroom teachers. Ignore it or send her to admin
"I would love to not do this second job. Why don't you gather other guardians and parents and get the school board to increase teacher salaries."
“Well, I guess I could quit, but then who would be there to pour your drinks?”
Best bet is communicating with your admin to maintain full transparency and co-construct a response.
Should repost to /r/BoomersBeingFools.
I'll be honest - it may feel good to drop a zinger, but you're better off replying with something like: I have provided my number in case of issues arising related to school and emergencies. Outside of term time, your message is inappropriate. Comments related to my personal life are inappropriate. I will be blocking you going forwards. If you wish to contact me you can do so via the schools official channels. Blah blah blah.
It’s a bad look on the school that they can’t pay a living wage and teachers need 2 (or even 3) jobs just to get by.