You should just point out the fact that it doesn't say American veteran But simply veteran on it and let them think You're from the British armed forces š¤£
I had an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Dominican in my squad at the same time.
The Irishman was the only one that was even seeking citizenship, the others only did it for the pay/benefits.
My navy vp squadron was a mix of different countries as well. Had British and Chinese first class and 2nd class Jamaican girl. Though it has been 20yrs since I was in. Was funny remembering the British guy in my squadron. His accent leaned more americanized. We had some Britās join us for exercises and could definitely tell the difference.
My hispanic wife, approaching 60, can relate to this comment. Especially when driving her Tesla.
It's like, if you are not a white male in your 40s driving a raised pickup truck, then you have no right to park in veteran parking spots.
If ur not a white male in ur mid 30s, heavily moto tattooed, with a lifted truck covered in military stickers and a military license plate on it were you even in the military??? /s
The funny thing is it is never infantry dudes from what I have seen. (Infantry myself) It is usually the ones that were some support MOS/MP that act like they're the hardest thing on this earth because they went to Kuwait.
My FIL did his 4 standard years from age 18-22, and hated it at the time and has now made I AM A NAVY VETERAN into his personality. Has a flag, all the hats and t shirts, etc etc. I served in the Navy longer (5.5 years, DV from chronic illness) and have been told mine couldnāt be the same because Iām a woman.
yeah, ok buddy.
For real! I had my first in Dec 2022 and now I'm 31 and expecting my second in January šš
I live in small town Alaska too so its always fun when I run into an "old fart" from one of my hobbies or the only spots to eat and they are so suprised to learn I also served, I just don't make it my personality afk lmao
My car was vandalized for parking in one of those spaces. I even have a vet license plate. They stole my windshield wipers and keyed my car. They left a nice little note too that said, āyour not a vetaran jack assā; it was spelled exactly like that, with bad grammar and shitty spelling.
Some people are morons who can comprehend that all veterans arenāt old, grisly-looking, white dudes.
Iām waiting for a schmuck to mutter one insult my way and I will 100% come un-fucking-glued. Tractor Supply seems to flips the most heads. If I take the dog, it lessens the blow š
I also happen to have Woman Veteran special plates with the lady saluting. We all know you canāt just get those plates.
I didnāt really want those - I always felt it was a safety issue - but I did get them after one too many confrontations with the lifted truck club, and strangely, wives. You canāt use your husbandās handicapped placard/dv plates and park. Umm mine. Iām the vet. Theyāre MINE. And Iām not married.
Me: single slinging 2 mutts around in my little Accord flying down the highway. šno guy wants that 24/7, I already tried š¤£š¤£
The good news is Tractor Supply now has self check out so I can skip the 20 questions at the checkout.
Lmao. Iām a 63-year-old female veteranāand heads have definitely exploded when I have parked in designated spots. Some people (old white men, to be precise) canāt imagine anyone not just like them having served.
The only thing that bothers me is when people park in the trailer spots at Home Depot with no trailer. The actual Veterans spot are way down near the returns entrance.
Parked in a Veterans Parking spot at a VA Liaison once, even had my DD214 in hand, and some 60 year old geezer thought he'd lecture me on where i should be parking.
I am a 60ish woman Vet and get the furry eyeballs all the time. Nobody has said anything yet, but when they do it will take a lot for me to keep my cool.
I'm a woman in my 50s with ptsd and no remaining filters. I've been questioned twice by mouth-breathers about parking in veteran spaces. It was a learning opportunity for them.Ā
People are self absorbed in general.
I've noticed when people are extra self absorbed, they make assumptions and only have empathy for their perceived "own kind".
He was an ass, having as ass moment. There's probably something bothering him, and he chose to take his frustration out on you. Pity him, then move on and enjoy your day!
Remember, "hurt people" hurt other people.
I was at a packed Denny's during Veterans Day a few years ago. A Veteran angrily snapped at the manager saying, "what the fuck is taking so long, I'm a Veteran and so is my father!!!" The manager looked at him snapped right back, "look around you! Everyone here's a Veteran!" as if to say "you're not anymore special than everyone else waiting." He looked around and saw a sea of people wearing different Veteran caps staring at him. He sat his ass back down. What an idiot.
I mean thatād make my blood boil too, but anyone willing to make such a remark under their breath isnāt worth anyoneās time.
Heās just mad he didnāt feel special compared to you
Years ago I was wearing my USMC Vet baseball cap and some salty geezer outside the American Legion told me not to dress up in my husband's clothes. So I told him I got special Vet status for sucking off the entire Delta 1/9 and if his mommy says it's okay I'll blow him for FIVE DOLLA!
I really used to be a bit of a foul mouth lol
Don't let it get to you, friend.
Brother, Iāll put it like this. Some of the best people I ever met were people I met in the Army. At the same time, all of the worst people I ever met were ones I met in the Army. We draw in a lot of toxic assholes to start, teach them that anger gets results, and then give them a lifetime of bodily aches and pains on top of whatever mental stuff they walk away with.
Itās a recipe for bad attitudes.
due to my own issues. I'm always playing different scenarios in my head and how I'd react to someone else's reaction. Not in a cool Dr. Strange way either. I'm a lot older than you brother but also Asian so I look younger.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially with your kids there.
Here are a few things I had planned to say.
-Oh sorry I'm a USMC vet.
- \* Just ignore \*
-Sorry did you say something about my service to this country?
-Oh which unit did you serve with?
-Coast guard guy huh? (just kidding to the coasties)
-Do you want me to move so you can park closer fatty??
At the end of the day, it's not worth it. You react then you're a character in their story. You ignore and they are a character in your story, which you can tell then dismiss.
Also for the female vets and those with service dogs. People suck. I saw an OOOOOLD dude with a "service dog" harness and patch on his chihuahua. Service dogs don't start sniffing people, soooo yeah, people. suck.
You're welcome. I really do constantly play different scenarios anytime I encounter someone. It's mentally exhausting but I've learned to get a few laughs out of it.
This 100%. Some dudes live and die by that.Ā
Ya cool cool, but you're a civilian now.Ā
Last thing i want to do with anyone is talk about my service. Even when people ask my background i typically just start from my professional career that began when i got out.
If people ask if i was i just say yep and keep it as brief as possible.
I entered the military at 25 with a degree and a professional job under my belt and I saw that even at that ageā¦I was like oh man these guys arenāt going to be able to get out and even work at Jiffy Lube.
People are shitty, sorry you had to encounter one of them like that.
As a woman I avoid those spots for the reason, unless I'm having a super sassy day, lol.
Just remember each unit had thier shitbags.
Respectfully, USE THE SPOT. We all earned it, and the more the AHs see the post 9/11 girlies use our entitlements, the more used to it theyāll get.
That said, I also think you have to do what youāre comfortable with for your own mental health, so if itās still just not your jam, you obviously donāt owe me shit.
I donāt understand the whole āgatekeeping the veteran statusā mindset of the veteran community as a whole. I figure that if someone wants to lie about being a veteran, thatās between them and the universe, and isWAY above my pay grade.
Sorry that happened man. I wore my marine jacket to the store once, and a guy approached me and proceeded to tell me he lost a lot of corpsman friends trying to save āidiotā jarheads. That shit hurts, and I havenāt worn my jacket in public since. Some people are just so miserable they have to make others miserable too, and some vets know just what to say to be shitty to other vets.
Just know that even if heās a vet too, nobody gets to take that shit from you. You did what you did, and even if some old-timer thinks he can be condescending to you, you did right by standing up to him and standing your ground.
That is such a horrible thing to say to another person, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope someday you feel comfortable repping the USMC again, its the most grueling branch and you deserve to be proud of that hard work.
I would've looked him in the eye and said "that sucks". And then walked away. Don't let that fuck wit keep you from wearing it. I'd wear it as bait for the next idiot. I mean I'm sorry for his loss, but he's staining their memory by wielding them like that. Fuck him.
Itās things like that, or rather the fear of it, that keeps me from ever mentioning that Iām a veteran. I donāt want to be asked about what I did or what it was like or hear those things unprompted from other people. PTSD doesnāt all look the same and it just takes a bad day and the wrong setting to can bring a lot of hard work crashing. For myself, I work hard to cope, but I donāt really want to hear about other peoples traumatic experiences at the grocery store or the mall or work or anywhere really to be an outlet for their poorly coped with trauma. That guy obviously had problems that he doesnāt have the skills to deal with, and sadly thatās a lot of vets because itās those people who make moldable enlisted. Ā
I think you handled it right. You called him on his BS. Most importantly you stood up for yourself in front of your kid. It is important they see that from their dad.
Imagine being a female Asian veteran. I, too, get mistaken for being a teenager despite being born in the ā80s. Iāve heard so many instances of this exact scenario happening that I avoid ever parking in the veterans spot. Itās a good thing I enjoy walking.
I'm a white male disabled vet in my 40s who got yelled at the other day by an 80 year old. Getting my service dog out of my car, in the veteran parking spot at Lowe's. Guy complained that "we all have to wait for your dog, you don't need to bring him here." I wasn't in the way, I was in the spot. He was walking, he literally didn't have to wait on me in any way, shape, or form. I explained that he's a service dog, but Lowe's allows pets regardless and there was no need for him to wait for me.
Some people are just miserable. They come in all shapes and sizes.You can ignore them, or join them, choice is yours. I know I'm not going to make him any happier, so why would I let him make me miserable?
I know respect your elders and all that, but that doesn't give them free reign to be disrespectful to others. That's a two way street, and I have no qualms with telling an 80 year old to go fornicate himself with a length of rusty rebar if he says something out of pocket. I may be out of shape, disabled, and struggle to breathe with more than 20 stairs, but I'll still step up to the plate and take a swing with the best of them. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a burden, or an inconvenience. They're probably just upset because they didn't do anything noteworthy with their miserable lives.
> Some people are just miserable.
Yep. The sucky thing is it takes just a few seconds for someone to shit all over your day, but it takes a lot more effort to brighten it. You can run across 9 out of 10 people that are normal-to-great, but that 10th one that's an a-hole will just get under your skin.
The veteran owned business I work for literally asked me to identify what my disability status was on the paperwork I signed to start and when the owner and I had a conversation after work he basically shamed me for not telling him about my knee injury and was upset and ājokinglyā said āuhhh did we know that when we hired youā like bro you literally interviewed me, knew I was in the military and didnāt even care to look at the paperwork.
I'm job hunting now and will ID myself as a disabled vet if the application asks and provide the letter saying I have one or more service connected disabilities, but won't discuss it any further. It's all mental health so no accommodations needed.
Anyone who makes such an ignorant remark for vets parking in vet spots should have their discounts revoked. I'm sure this dude was wearing a vet hat too.
Itās difficult for some people to believe that veterans come in all colors and genders now instead of them being just old men. (White or black) majority white though. If I see a DV plate on someoneās car I say āthatās my friend!ā To my wife it drives her nuts lol
Back when I still had the handicap symbol on my tag, I parked in a disabled spot one day. One older vet walking by as I was closing the back door on our van said something along the same lines. I stared at him as he walked by, which caused him to stop, I assume to see if I was going to say anything. At this point, the door shuts so I just turn my head to look at my plate, to which he looks to see what Iām looking at. I looked back at him and told him to shut the fuck up and walked to the entrance of the store as he walked away. Fuckin ridiculous how up in peoples business some people are. Didnāt even try to see if I had a tag or any reason to park there, just immediately runs his cockholster.
If I hadnāt been in a small hurry that day, I would have Family Guyād the fuck out of it.
āOh, only disabled people can park here? In that a disabled veteran tag? So that means I can park here right? Cuz only disabled people can park there so Iād have to have a disabled tag surely. But I do have a disabled tag so I can park there. Is that what that means? Cuz I wasnāt sure. Itās a disabled spot and I have a disabled tagā¦.maybe I should park somewhere else instead. Maybe somewhere thatās marked disabled, oh waitā¦.ā
I havenāt had this issue yet. Maybe itās the bald head and beard and 6 feet 200 lbs that deters people from being douches. I did once confront a guy ditching his cart at Loweās and was ashamed afterwards and realized I could have gotten shot
I don't carry as much as i used to but this shit has made me so non-confrontational to a point i feel self conscious about it. Like people will snap and shoot someone over anything these days. Especially when they are the ones in the wrong. I just avoid people in general now.
Not trying to get shot cause i said what my mind was thinking or cut someone off in traffic.
It's things like this that make me understand my dad more. For a long time I never knew my dad was in the military. He separated a few years after Desert Storm around the time I turned 4. But when he separated, he completely separated. We never went to any base, he never went to the VA, and to this day I've never met nor spoken to anyone he served with. But when I read about this type of veteran-behavior I can understand why he did that. Not to mention, he never wanted any of us kids to join.
This is my top fear when I go to Lowe's. I've only used the vet parking once because all the spots were open. Went and got the disabled vet plates just in case, hoping I could point at the plates if someone said something
I see people parking in those spots all the time, I usually say, "Thank you for your service, when did you serve?" and usually the response is, What?!!!, Oh I didn't see the Giant sign, and usually follow with I wanted to join..... or my uncle was in or some shit.
I find it kind of annoying. Like, why are they so insecure that they need to find a lame ass excuse to validate themselves to me? You joined or you didnāt. I donāt care about the reasoning. I joined for a paid college education š¤·āāļø
Bro is 36M saying he young meanwhile here I am 28M and thinking my life is over because I'm almost 30 and not sure If I can start anything anew...
Also, people are assholes, do not pay them any attention.
Also number 2: I wish at 36 I look like a teen. I'm 28, bald with bags under my eyes from stress and insomnia.
You're never too old to start something new, but there is a time to settle and rack up benefits from seniority. You're not necessarily there yet unless you want to be. I just turned 37 and the main thing keeping me from rage quitting is the fact that I want to start banking up vacation time. Plus, as much as I hate my job, I have never had a job I truly liked and I doubt I ever will. But I have skills in a job that is essential. And aside from the manager bullshit, I actually like the work. School isn't for me, and I never used by GI bill, which is pretty limiting. But I'm good at my job, I work for a municipal water authority as a union operator, and I make $40 an hour. Really good health insurance, and with OT I mostly don't want, I clear $100k. Shift work and OT blows, but it beats being broke wishing I made more.
Vets are still people. Some people go around with a chip on their shoulder looking for any excuse to feel victimized. Don't give in to their attitude, especially with your kid around. Be the better man/person.
Besides parking lots one of my Vet caps reflects my Native heritage...being mixed blood with white skin when I wear that I get stares...and i am more Native than white nevermind skin color.
People have issues sometimes and those issues are theirs...not yours. I have thought about getting a few betterhelp or other similar therapy cards to hand to the vocally nasty people. That could be humorous but also could start a physical fight with an idiot.
Personally I think those reserved signs in general are idiotic.
Paralyzed spots? Sure. Dudes in wheelchairs should get first dibs.Ā
Expecting mothers? I mean... I guess? Maybe there husband should be doing the shopping for them, but I don't know everyone's circumstances, I guess.
Employee of the month? This is getting a little silly. Maybe they could work out an arrangement on the side of the building or something? I guess if it's a huge parking lot, it's not the end of the world, but if it's a smaller lot, that's a *lot of spaces that are reserved.
Veterans parking? I'm not going to turn it down if the other spots in the lot are full, but I didn't enlist for future parking spaces.
(Rows of) Stupid food pickup order spots? This is insane! They should be parking further away because they're going to be here for less time and aren't even getting out of the car! Employees get paid by the hour, so it's no bug deal if they have to walk further away.
Anyway, I've never bothered to debate whether the people parking there are vets or not - it's not like the spots hold any legal standing. I guess it's a nice enough gesture, but I'd rather just go with a standard first come, first serve layout. I don't want to feel like anyone is rolling our the red carpet for me, just because I volunteered a few years of my life to the Military.Ā
Agree, I would still park in a veteran parking spot if it was farther.Ā
I'm torn with my service but I still served and it's the only time I remind myself that I did it for the good.Ā
All the other times, I'm Fighting myself in my head and that's the time I don't want to be a veteran.Ā
Bro, some people are just miserable. And they think everyone else should feel as miserable as them. Good on you for showing your kids to have a backbone when it comes to assholes being disrespectful. Now go enjoy that vet discount at Lowes. What project are you working on?
Veterans are people too, and people are idiots/assholes.
Some vets act like theyāre āaboveā other vets and act like they donāt associate with other vets or take part in anything veteran related (all the while, Iām reading what they wrote in a veteran sub lol)
The point Iām driving at is if I meet a veteran, Iām more likely to suddenly become friends with you than with any other demographic in the world. It just is what it is. But sometimes, you just come across some dickhead who peaked in high school and acts like it. Or, like me, my worst encounter was some Air Force vet who saw my license plate (free registration in my state, say no more) and acted like he was above me because he didnāt have one. Like wtf, get over yourself dude. People are people.
Not worth the interaction. Folks that are willing to perform a drive by muttering in a hardware store parking lot over something as trivial as a parking spot arenāt worth your time or endangering yourself or family. Youāre a vet, heās a vet, weāre all vets. Great. Dying on that hill isnāt worth all the free appetizers in the world.
Tangentially, Lots of people have baggage from service combined with whatever baggage they brought into service with them. Some grow from it, some let it eat them up. Many wonāt. Thatās ok too. Not worth your time. Let them be grumpy, itās not your job to correct them or fix them. All you or any of us can do is hope that they get help or change. Itās a good reminder to work on your own shit because if you saw something in that person you didnāt like, best to make sure itās not part of you. My two cents anyway.
Fuck that dude. Apparently veterans are supposed to have a "look". We could look like anything, or anyone. Probably one of those pricks that liked to pull rank and make everyone else's life miserable while they were in.
When I first joined, I got invited to an off base friendly poker game by some of the other airman. A tech sgt tried to pull rank on me because he didn't like the way I was putting chips in the pot. (Oh yeah, I was also winning)Ā
Ā Like... For real bro? You're not even in my unit. Got in my face and everything.Ā
I don't see the point in getting uppity about any of that shit. You don't know other people's stories. You know your own, and it's your job not to make your problems other people's problems. That's why they have all those therapists and psychologists on staff.
My own mother questioned my status once when I parked in such a space. She didn't get hostile about it and it was internalized sexism on her part but I did have to gently explain my status and that yes, I am a Veteran.
She is older and having memory issues but it was a tad startling to have to explain this all to your own mom.
I parked in a veteran parking spot today lol Iām white and 31 I got starred down hardcore by one man lol, you have to understand the history of veterans in this country. Service to your country traditionally was your duty as a man, that is warrior culture. To think theres a trade off is going against many years of mentality. Not saying thereās anything wrong with benefits for vets. But there is an objective pov of why some vets might be weird about privileges.
Depending on their age, there's also this huge disconnect with older folks. They see veterans as older than them, or at least the same age as them because they know someone who served. I see this in my current job. Despite having 6 years enlisted and being in engineering on a warship, and another 12 years dedicated to my current technical career not much different than my enlisted job, I'm still treated as just some fucking kid. Because I am in the same age range as their actual children. No amount of honing my trade matters, we'll always be some fucking kid. So they can't imagine some 30 something could be a military veteran, because we're just somebody's kid.
Oh yeah thatās a good connection I donāt consider myself young at 31 but I suppose I felt like that when I was in my twenties as well and now people in there early twenties look/act like kids to me so it probably the same for me when someone ten plus years older sees me. I know carry the work load of older people at my job. Because they just lack the patience and almost constantly have what I would simply refer to as brain fog. I know theyāre just trying to finish out their last few years of working and they know itās sorta unsaid that theyāre not what they used to be. So I typically help them out while listening to their life story hoping someday someone does the same for me.
Hey brother, I deal with that shit all the time. Young guys canāt be vets for some reason. You handled it how I probably would. Just gotta let it go sometimes.
I hate to say it, but a lot of people join the military for the wrong reasons and end up returning to civilian life with a chip on their shoulder.
Since you also mention that youāre asian and look younger than you are, thereās also the fact that veteran culture is very heavily wrapped up in white conservative identity politics. I mean, just for example, any advertisement or social media presence from any veteran consumer brand like Grunt Style, Black Rifle Coffee, Zero Foxtrot, etc. largely feature big burly white guys with thick beards and Oakleyās slamming beers and shooting guns, amen brother. Itās not hard to imagine the demographic this appeals to and feels emboldened to try to claim veteran culture as something thatās theirās and not for others.
37yo vet myself. No kids, though. Imo, you've got nothing to prove that you haven't already done. Sometimes, they're just old and bitter. Just be better than them. Unless they threaten or endangered your kids.
Idk about anyone else, I too can be/have been a total jerk. I credit this to years of violence, prior to the military, along with multiple combat deployments, have given me a bad case of mental instability at times.
Iāve been out over a decade now, doing better tho. Yeah I can still be an asshat but I usually stay away from People on those days.
i donāt want to jerk my own chain here but this is why i donāt care who calls themselves a veteran i have so much to worry about then to worry about whoās a veteran and whoās not, yes hold their feet to the fire if you want to, but at the end of the day. itās really between them and the universe (as someone else said) im a young veteran 25 years old.. (iām getting old) and mental illness is high in the veteran community i happen to be one of them that unfortunately had suffered so much pain physically and mentally. and i even almost threw a brawl at VAMC because some guy thought it was okay to talk loud while i was trying to listen to instructions on how to take my medication and i did get in his face before getting escorted out by security, not the best decision but i was frustrated. the moral of the story is we all are dealing with our own emotions and problems that sometimes little things can set us off, not giving him a excuse to be rude to you, but it does show you that so many of us have invisible scars that never fully healed. but iām happy it didnāt escalate into a fight in front of your child.
Iām mid twenties female and the looks I get sometimes make me want to duck and hide, but I rather use the vet spots than the disabled spots on my bad days. I think eventually Ill either learn to not be bothered or just get a massive foam middle finger to wave at them
55-yr old black female veteran enters the chatā¦. There are days I want to park there just to fuck with them, days when I donāt even need anything from Loweās
I used to avoid associating myself with my time in the military, but now I park there hoping someone says something. Unlikely, because I'm a white guy, but also I'm getting kinda fat and have long hair in a pony tail. So I don't exactly look the part since I didn't grow a beard, wear oakleys on my head, and were vetbro t shirts.
This is why I donāt talk to other vets irl. So much toxicity.
It doesnāt help that I was a POG that chased deployment assignments, got hurt pre-deployment and still got 100% VA rated. Our service experiences may differ and the Vet-Bros do NOT like that.
Iām a female vet in my late twenties. You just went through what the majority of woman veterans go through literally all of the time.
For whatever reason, people refuse to accept that Iām a veteran and not hiding behind a husband. Iām single and have never been married.
Iāve had found notes on my car left by assholes who disagree that I should have a veteran license plate.
My car has been vandalized for parking in disabled parking spaces with a disabled vet plate because my āhusbandā isnāt with me. (This is legal in my state. I have mobility and joint issues and chronic pain. I am not visibly disabled, but my disabilities have a major impact on my ability to walk. I got a disabled placard approved by my doc before I eventually got a disabled vet plate. I still use my placard when I am in other peopleās vehicles)
Iāve had male veterans do mental gymnastics when I mention that I am a vet by insisting that my husband or dad served, instead of me serving. Iām single and I am the first person in my entire family to have served the military.
Iāve gotten a hard time from the VA when showing up to the VA for medical appointments because they think I am there for my husband and not for myself.
I have been denied vet discounts and veterans day meals from various businesses and restaurants.
Iāve been discriminated against at my local American Legion for not bringing my āhusbandā.
Iāve been screamed at by military wives for wearing veteran attire.
Iāve been told by male veterans that my PTSD isnāt āvalidā because it was caused by MST and not combat.
Iāve had people thank my boyfriend, who has never served, for his service when I mention that I am a vet.
I have had male vets ātestā me on military facts and lingo so I can prove to them that Iām a vet.
Even on this sub, other vets assume that I am a man and that I go by he/him and masculine pronouns.
Over time, I have stopped talking about my service. Women vets are invisible to the public, to the VA, and to the Veteran Community. Iāve spent 10 years trying to validate myself as a vet and 10 years fighting with people about it. I just donāt want to keep doing that. Despite women becoming the fastest growing demographic in the military, people think that only a grisly old white dude, wearing one of those dumb āthank me for my serviceā hats, can be a vet.
My heart goes out to you.Ā
I was in medical so I've seen female military members all the time as well as others that's are all colors and shapes so it saddens me that people only think white males are the only demographics.Ā
My wife works for the VA and you should hear the phone calls she has to take. I understand there are bad apples everywhere but my wife is nothing but incredibly sweet to these veterans and they still treat her like an asshole. It makes my blood boil
ya for me most of my previous encounters with random dick head Vets are for any establishment that has a parking spot that says Veterans parking or on Veterans day when you go somewhere for Veterans day meal or store for shopping discount.
for me its always the types of people too: the old ass crusty geezers with them veterans hats from the war they were in. i swear they sleep with those hats on, shower with them on, ect.
They look at some of us younger folks and think we are not veterans. Last run with was with some dude with his Korean War Veteran hat. I parked in the veteran spot at Food Lion and by the time I get out my car hes already standing behind my vehicle waiting to see who gets out. I get out and with the quickness he said "You aint no fuckin Veteran boy!"
I said, Sir, how long did you serve? he said I did my 2 years when I was drafted. I said, sir, go fuck yourself!
lol
It's insane. I can't imagine the anger you need to have to hassle someone over a parking spot. I would love a MF to hassle me about parking in one of them. I have no military anything on my truck. No one would know. I'm honestly surprised no one has said anything yet.
I actually don't like to even in the vet spot if the store is busy. Too many cars and people who don't give a shit about anything and will door ding the fuck out of your car.
I don't get how anyone can call out someone for parking in a veteran space. I don't have veteran plates on my vehicle and I never will. How is someone supposed to know.
The asshole you dealt with was sadly in all likelihood just a racist piece of shit.
Not surprised, these losers always look for someone they think they can push around. They have nothing better to do.
That said i always park in the back of the lot so my car doesnt get damaged.
Well first off, fuck that guy, you shouldnāt have to put up with dickheads like that. Second, itās just a parking spot for Godās sake. Even if you werenāt a vet, I couldnāt care less. Thatās not why I served, to get a free parking spot. That guy is full of himself.
That said, even though Iām a Vet, I never park in them. I donāt have a need to park that close (disability / kids / elderly), so I usually just leave it for those with needs.
Well, as an Italian guy who wears jeans and cowboy boots, I havenāt had this issue. But other veterans being dicks for no reason? Oh yeah, almost always army or marines tbh.
You did the right thing. I get dirty looks all the time at Home Depot even though I have a vet license plate. Some are so disgruntled that they donāt properly function in society anymore.
I'm a woman in my early 30s, 100% P&T with DV LICENSE PLATES and these losers still harass me.
I try to lead with something silly like "first come first serve, wingman / shipmate / battle / bud / dude" but that rarely works. They just take it as an invitation to come mansplain the veteran parking space to me.
They don't bother to read, pause, think critically...they just want to put everyone else in just as shitty a headspace as they're in. Fuck em. Easier said than done but don't waste your precious energy on them.
That 40 yo jerk would complain no matter who parked there unless it was a white male. Try being a female veteran. Half donāt believe you ever served. Ignore them. Itās not our job to work around bigoted misogynistic racist A-holes.
Lowes is the absolute worst about this. My coworker in the ANG is an active duty orders SrA, who's almost 21 years old. She's obviously still rather young looking, but she got accosted by a beer-belly at a Lowes when she parked in the veteran spot as well.
All people have the capacity to be jerks. it's not exclusive to a standing, gender or race.
Veterans have endured some things many people couldn't imagine between training and trauma from experience some don't know how to psychologically cope and it turns into an outward display of aggression and overall being a grouch.
Itās bec they still think itās a good old white boy club when it ainātā¦female veteran here. Probably the same guys that cry this month when the Marines or USCG post a pride flag š³ļøāš
Welll, considering that a lot of dysfunctional people that canāt get work or education without joining the militaryā¦thatād be your answer right thereā¦
Yeah dude, I donāt acknowledge other Vets anymore. I used to feel this type of brotherhood however, over the years (I have been out of the Army for 25 years now), I either get blank stares from the younger guys, or itās a dick measuring contest. I just gave up and keep to myself unless another Vet at a VA appointment strikes up a conversation. In your case, fuck them. You keep parking there, and donāt let some asshat deter you.
Itās a micro sample of society. Some great. Some terrible. Some vets try and be edgy. Shame anyone who dares speak of their service or wear a hat. Some were assholes before they went in and it only makes it worse.
Good on you for sticking up for yourself. I'm Asian myself, look like I'm in my twenties easily. I've never been questioned but if so, I'd tell them to fuck off. I really don't give a flying fuck
If youāre not wearing a huuuge āveteranā hat or have a BILLION campaign stickers on your whip, or if you donāt have vet plates, boomer vets will pop off. I applaud you for how you handled it.
I used to get that all the time. And I'd tell 'em to go pound sand. I'd pull out my challenge coin and plenty of them would back down. I get the "only vets get to park here" mindset...it was set aside specifically for vets.
Some people have what a vet should look and sound like in their heads that they canāt fathom when they donāt match their personal depictions.
This is why I donāt park at any special spot or say shit about being one, because youāll be unintentionally asking for it.
I got out and work in an air force hospital, the entitlement of old vets is absolutely insane, quiet professional is an absolute anomaly to them. They truly believe they are owed for their service it's insane.
As an Asian guy, I got this all the way in A-school going for SAR. I was told I was weak, too small from the other candidates , that I don't belong here. I had to fight for every ounce of respect. I haven't had other Vets challenge me besides those who want to gatekeep, but I won't even entertain the D measuring contest.
You had all the right to stand up for yourself. Just explain to your kids what happened and make sure they understand. It could had been handled better, but we should not let ppl walk over us, too.
Shit happens man he just some old grumpy shit that probably had a bad day donāt worry about it too much lol some of these vets be assholes for no reason
I have a FL liscense plate that says US Submariner (you actually have to prove that your SS qualified to get one at the dmv).. its pretty funny when people see me park in the veterans spot at lowes and question the stereotypical looking Mexican coming out of a custom Challenger with custom wrap on it.... I just point the liscense plate, smile and walk away. One day people will remember that the US military is the most diverse in the world....lol.
I'm a woman in my 30s. You should see the heads explode when I park in the Veteran Space. No one has said anything within earshot yet though.
US Army vet with a VERY heavy British accent here. I get questioned. A lot.
I'd go full Dick Van Dyke chimney sweep and watch their brains explode.
You should just point out the fact that it doesn't say American veteran But simply veteran on it and let them think You're from the British armed forces š¤£
Fun fact: I am also ex British Armed Forces!
Even better! Lol
I had an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Dominican in my squad at the same time. The Irishman was the only one that was even seeking citizenship, the others only did it for the pay/benefits.
My navy vp squadron was a mix of different countries as well. Had British and Chinese first class and 2nd class Jamaican girl. Though it has been 20yrs since I was in. Was funny remembering the British guy in my squadron. His accent leaned more americanized. We had some Britās join us for exercises and could definitely tell the difference.
Hah. In my second duty station we also had a guy from Estonia that learned how to speak English from rap videos. Now THAT was an accent
I am a a U.S Army vet with heavy New Zealand accent.
Met a SSG working at West Point from Yorkshire. One of my privates asked if he was Scottish because of his accent. Bad move lol
My hispanic wife, approaching 60, can relate to this comment. Especially when driving her Tesla. It's like, if you are not a white male in your 40s driving a raised pickup truck, then you have no right to park in veteran parking spots.
Zips right up in my hybrid with Purple Heart license plates šš»šššš»
I have a Subaru Outback with DV plates. I have seen some of the older vets confused.
Oh God. I can only imagine the shit time people give her.
If ur not a white male in ur mid 30s, heavily moto tattooed, with a lifted truck covered in military stickers and a military license plate on it were you even in the military??? /s
The funny thing is it is never infantry dudes from what I have seen. (Infantry myself) It is usually the ones that were some support MOS/MP that act like they're the hardest thing on this earth because they went to Kuwait.
Bold of you to assume the biggest assholes ever left CONUS
My FIL did his 4 standard years from age 18-22, and hated it at the time and has now made I AM A NAVY VETERAN into his personality. Has a flag, all the hats and t shirts, etc etc. I served in the Navy longer (5.5 years, DV from chronic illness) and have been told mine couldnāt be the same because Iām a woman. yeah, ok buddy.
Or when you show up for doctors appointments. No one expects 33 year old and very pregnant me to be the vet for some reason š¤·āāļøš¤£
For real! I had my first in Dec 2022 and now I'm 31 and expecting my second in January šš I live in small town Alaska too so its always fun when I run into an "old fart" from one of my hobbies or the only spots to eat and they are so suprised to learn I also served, I just don't make it my personality afk lmao
OMG. I remember waddling around the VA 8 months pregnant and it was wild.
My car was vandalized for parking in one of those spaces. I even have a vet license plate. They stole my windshield wipers and keyed my car. They left a nice little note too that said, āyour not a vetaran jack assā; it was spelled exactly like that, with bad grammar and shitty spelling. Some people are morons who can comprehend that all veterans arenāt old, grisly-looking, white dudes.
š³ wow, insane
Iām waiting for a schmuck to mutter one insult my way and I will 100% come un-fucking-glued. Tractor Supply seems to flips the most heads. If I take the dog, it lessens the blow š I also happen to have Woman Veteran special plates with the lady saluting. We all know you canāt just get those plates.
I didnāt really want those - I always felt it was a safety issue - but I did get them after one too many confrontations with the lifted truck club, and strangely, wives. You canāt use your husbandās handicapped placard/dv plates and park. Umm mine. Iām the vet. Theyāre MINE. And Iām not married.
Here in Florida most of the lady vets I know carry. So it's only a safety issue for the would be assailant š
Me: single slinging 2 mutts around in my little Accord flying down the highway. šno guy wants that 24/7, I already tried š¤£š¤£ The good news is Tractor Supply now has self check out so I can skip the 20 questions at the checkout.
Lmao. Iām a 63-year-old female veteranāand heads have definitely exploded when I have parked in designated spots. Some people (old white men, to be precise) canāt imagine anyone not just like them having served.
The only thing that bothers me is when people park in the trailer spots at Home Depot with no trailer. The actual Veterans spot are way down near the returns entrance.
Yeah I know I get the looks too but have heard a mumble or two of being a benefits wife.Ā Ā
Parked in a Veterans Parking spot at a VA Liaison once, even had my DD214 in hand, and some 60 year old geezer thought he'd lecture me on where i should be parking.
I am a 60ish woman Vet and get the furry eyeballs all the time. Nobody has said anything yet, but when they do it will take a lot for me to keep my cool.
I'm a woman in my 50s with ptsd and no remaining filters. I've been questioned twice by mouth-breathers about parking in veteran spaces. It was a learning opportunity for them.Ā
People are self absorbed in general. I've noticed when people are extra self absorbed, they make assumptions and only have empathy for their perceived "own kind". He was an ass, having as ass moment. There's probably something bothering him, and he chose to take his frustration out on you. Pity him, then move on and enjoy your day! Remember, "hurt people" hurt other people.
I was at a packed Denny's during Veterans Day a few years ago. A Veteran angrily snapped at the manager saying, "what the fuck is taking so long, I'm a Veteran and so is my father!!!" The manager looked at him snapped right back, "look around you! Everyone here's a Veteran!" as if to say "you're not anymore special than everyone else waiting." He looked around and saw a sea of people wearing different Veteran caps staring at him. He sat his ass back down. What an idiot.
Absolute ass hat
I mean thatād make my blood boil too, but anyone willing to make such a remark under their breath isnāt worth anyoneās time. Heās just mad he didnāt feel special compared to you
Years ago I was wearing my USMC Vet baseball cap and some salty geezer outside the American Legion told me not to dress up in my husband's clothes. So I told him I got special Vet status for sucking off the entire Delta 1/9 and if his mommy says it's okay I'll blow him for FIVE DOLLA! I really used to be a bit of a foul mouth lol Don't let it get to you, friend.
>USMC vet >used to be a bit of a foul mouth Devil dogs?? Noooo, Iāve never heard them use potty language! /s
lmaoā¦. exactly the way to handle assholes!
LMAO!
Lol
Youāre my hero
Damn. I was in 2/8
I was kind of thinking is OP didn't call him an asshole, that would make me suspicious of NOT being a vet. :)
Brother, Iāll put it like this. Some of the best people I ever met were people I met in the Army. At the same time, all of the worst people I ever met were ones I met in the Army. We draw in a lot of toxic assholes to start, teach them that anger gets results, and then give them a lifetime of bodily aches and pains on top of whatever mental stuff they walk away with. Itās a recipe for bad attitudes.
Well said.
due to my own issues. I'm always playing different scenarios in my head and how I'd react to someone else's reaction. Not in a cool Dr. Strange way either. I'm a lot older than you brother but also Asian so I look younger. I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially with your kids there. Here are a few things I had planned to say. -Oh sorry I'm a USMC vet. - \* Just ignore \* -Sorry did you say something about my service to this country? -Oh which unit did you serve with? -Coast guard guy huh? (just kidding to the coasties) -Do you want me to move so you can park closer fatty?? At the end of the day, it's not worth it. You react then you're a character in their story. You ignore and they are a character in your story, which you can tell then dismiss. Also for the female vets and those with service dogs. People suck. I saw an OOOOOLD dude with a "service dog" harness and patch on his chihuahua. Service dogs don't start sniffing people, soooo yeah, people. suck.
Lol at your responses. Thanks brother
You're welcome. I really do constantly play different scenarios anytime I encounter someone. It's mentally exhausting but I've learned to get a few laughs out of it.
 Now if I didnāt have kids with me.
Honestly, I think a lot of vets don't have much going on so they desperately cling to their military service as a source of their identity.
This 100%. Some dudes live and die by that.Ā Ya cool cool, but you're a civilian now.Ā Last thing i want to do with anyone is talk about my service. Even when people ask my background i typically just start from my professional career that began when i got out. If people ask if i was i just say yep and keep it as brief as possible.
I entered the military at 25 with a degree and a professional job under my belt and I saw that even at that ageā¦I was like oh man these guys arenāt going to be able to get out and even work at Jiffy Lube.
People are shitty, sorry you had to encounter one of them like that. As a woman I avoid those spots for the reason, unless I'm having a super sassy day, lol. Just remember each unit had thier shitbags.
Vet with a vag here, and I always hope some whiny ballsack says something about me parking there. I will verbally eviscerate them with a smile. š
Respectfully, USE THE SPOT. We all earned it, and the more the AHs see the post 9/11 girlies use our entitlements, the more used to it theyāll get. That said, I also think you have to do what youāre comfortable with for your own mental health, so if itās still just not your jam, you obviously donāt owe me shit.
I donāt understand the whole āgatekeeping the veteran statusā mindset of the veteran community as a whole. I figure that if someone wants to lie about being a veteran, thatās between them and the universe, and isWAY above my pay grade.
I don't either. It sounds exhausting to live life with the gatekeeping mentality, but it's so prevalent.
Sorry that happened man. I wore my marine jacket to the store once, and a guy approached me and proceeded to tell me he lost a lot of corpsman friends trying to save āidiotā jarheads. That shit hurts, and I havenāt worn my jacket in public since. Some people are just so miserable they have to make others miserable too, and some vets know just what to say to be shitty to other vets. Just know that even if heās a vet too, nobody gets to take that shit from you. You did what you did, and even if some old-timer thinks he can be condescending to you, you did right by standing up to him and standing your ground.
That is such a horrible thing to say to another person, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope someday you feel comfortable repping the USMC again, its the most grueling branch and you deserve to be proud of that hard work.
He just wanted to find a way to make himself feel superior to you. We all know how hard it is to be a marine no matter what branch we rep.
I would've looked him in the eye and said "that sucks". And then walked away. Don't let that fuck wit keep you from wearing it. I'd wear it as bait for the next idiot. I mean I'm sorry for his loss, but he's staining their memory by wielding them like that. Fuck him.
Itās things like that, or rather the fear of it, that keeps me from ever mentioning that Iām a veteran. I donāt want to be asked about what I did or what it was like or hear those things unprompted from other people. PTSD doesnāt all look the same and it just takes a bad day and the wrong setting to can bring a lot of hard work crashing. For myself, I work hard to cope, but I donāt really want to hear about other peoples traumatic experiences at the grocery store or the mall or work or anywhere really to be an outlet for their poorly coped with trauma. That guy obviously had problems that he doesnāt have the skills to deal with, and sadly thatās a lot of vets because itās those people who make moldable enlisted. Ā
I think you handled it right. You called him on his BS. Most importantly you stood up for yourself in front of your kid. It is important they see that from their dad.
Thank you
Imagine being a female Asian veteran. I, too, get mistaken for being a teenager despite being born in the ā80s. Iāve heard so many instances of this exact scenario happening that I avoid ever parking in the veterans spot. Itās a good thing I enjoy walking.
This isnāt the complaining Olympics but imagine being a black female retiree. Whoās pregnant. That was a fun couple months.
Everyone is welcome to share. I don't take offense if my thread got taken over. Also, sorry that happened to you.Ā
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ the complaining Olympics.
ā¦.oof
Because vets are people and some people suck. Becoming a veteran doesn't exclude you from this universal law.
I'm a white male disabled vet in my 40s who got yelled at the other day by an 80 year old. Getting my service dog out of my car, in the veteran parking spot at Lowe's. Guy complained that "we all have to wait for your dog, you don't need to bring him here." I wasn't in the way, I was in the spot. He was walking, he literally didn't have to wait on me in any way, shape, or form. I explained that he's a service dog, but Lowe's allows pets regardless and there was no need for him to wait for me. Some people are just miserable. They come in all shapes and sizes.You can ignore them, or join them, choice is yours. I know I'm not going to make him any happier, so why would I let him make me miserable?
I know respect your elders and all that, but that doesn't give them free reign to be disrespectful to others. That's a two way street, and I have no qualms with telling an 80 year old to go fornicate himself with a length of rusty rebar if he says something out of pocket. I may be out of shape, disabled, and struggle to breathe with more than 20 stairs, but I'll still step up to the plate and take a swing with the best of them. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a burden, or an inconvenience. They're probably just upset because they didn't do anything noteworthy with their miserable lives.
> Some people are just miserable. Yep. The sucky thing is it takes just a few seconds for someone to shit all over your day, but it takes a lot more effort to brighten it. You can run across 9 out of 10 people that are normal-to-great, but that 10th one that's an a-hole will just get under your skin.
The veteran owned business I work for literally asked me to identify what my disability status was on the paperwork I signed to start and when the owner and I had a conversation after work he basically shamed me for not telling him about my knee injury and was upset and ājokinglyā said āuhhh did we know that when we hired youā like bro you literally interviewed me, knew I was in the military and didnāt even care to look at the paperwork.
Ughh, sorry you had to deal with that. That's frustrating for sure.Ā
I'm job hunting now and will ID myself as a disabled vet if the application asks and provide the letter saying I have one or more service connected disabilities, but won't discuss it any further. It's all mental health so no accommodations needed.
Anyone who makes such an ignorant remark for vets parking in vet spots should have their discounts revoked. I'm sure this dude was wearing a vet hat too.
I had the same thought, š
Itās difficult for some people to believe that veterans come in all colors and genders now instead of them being just old men. (White or black) majority white though. If I see a DV plate on someoneās car I say āthatās my friend!ā To my wife it drives her nuts lol
Back when I still had the handicap symbol on my tag, I parked in a disabled spot one day. One older vet walking by as I was closing the back door on our van said something along the same lines. I stared at him as he walked by, which caused him to stop, I assume to see if I was going to say anything. At this point, the door shuts so I just turn my head to look at my plate, to which he looks to see what Iām looking at. I looked back at him and told him to shut the fuck up and walked to the entrance of the store as he walked away. Fuckin ridiculous how up in peoples business some people are. Didnāt even try to see if I had a tag or any reason to park there, just immediately runs his cockholster. If I hadnāt been in a small hurry that day, I would have Family Guyād the fuck out of it. āOh, only disabled people can park here? In that a disabled veteran tag? So that means I can park here right? Cuz only disabled people can park there so Iād have to have a disabled tag surely. But I do have a disabled tag so I can park there. Is that what that means? Cuz I wasnāt sure. Itās a disabled spot and I have a disabled tagā¦.maybe I should park somewhere else instead. Maybe somewhere thatās marked disabled, oh waitā¦.ā
I havenāt had this issue yet. Maybe itās the bald head and beard and 6 feet 200 lbs that deters people from being douches. I did once confront a guy ditching his cart at Loweās and was ashamed afterwards and realized I could have gotten shot
That shit really grinds my gears. Put that shit back where you found it man.
I don't carry as much as i used to but this shit has made me so non-confrontational to a point i feel self conscious about it. Like people will snap and shoot someone over anything these days. Especially when they are the ones in the wrong. I just avoid people in general now. Not trying to get shot cause i said what my mind was thinking or cut someone off in traffic.
It's things like this that make me understand my dad more. For a long time I never knew my dad was in the military. He separated a few years after Desert Storm around the time I turned 4. But when he separated, he completely separated. We never went to any base, he never went to the VA, and to this day I've never met nor spoken to anyone he served with. But when I read about this type of veteran-behavior I can understand why he did that. Not to mention, he never wanted any of us kids to join.
This is my top fear when I go to Lowe's. I've only used the vet parking once because all the spots were open. Went and got the disabled vet plates just in case, hoping I could point at the plates if someone said something
And here I am looking for some excitement in my boring life hoping some jagoff runs his mouth, but they never do.
The veteran community never fails in disappointing me.
Im covered in tattoos and dress like a metalhead. Have had the greeters at the manchester NH VA try to escort me out more than once.
I hated half the people I served with and I hate half of my fellow veterans. Bunch of dildosā¦
I see people parking in those spots all the time, I usually say, "Thank you for your service, when did you serve?" and usually the response is, What?!!!, Oh I didn't see the Giant sign, and usually follow with I wanted to join..... or my uncle was in or some shit.
the "I was going to join but..." always makes me laugh.
Always worse when it's someone young who can still join. I always say "then just join and fck what anyone thinks. Either you do it or don't"
I find it kind of annoying. Like, why are they so insecure that they need to find a lame ass excuse to validate themselves to me? You joined or you didnāt. I donāt care about the reasoning. I joined for a paid college education š¤·āāļø
It blows peoples mind when I say I just joined for the college money.
you either jointed or didn't, doesn't' matter the reason. bottom line, you served, they didn't.
Iām sure every branch has their version, but āI coulda been a chief, I just told the Navy ānoā cause I wanted to keep working hardā
We had a guy who claimed we was a former Seal but then he joined the Army Guard (as an e-4 no less) because he wanted to slow down. Riiiiightttt
ācool story broā
Yeah, they ādidnāt seeā the signs and the clearly marked special spots, lol
I would have joined but I would have punched the drill Sargent because Iām so reactive.
Bro is 36M saying he young meanwhile here I am 28M and thinking my life is over because I'm almost 30 and not sure If I can start anything anew... Also, people are assholes, do not pay them any attention. Also number 2: I wish at 36 I look like a teen. I'm 28, bald with bags under my eyes from stress and insomnia.
Definitely feel old and when I was turning 30, thought my life was over too. HahaĀ Ā It gets better, I hope š¬
It doesnāt. Late 30s is when you start getting injuries you never had before and small injuries take longer to get over with.
You're never too old to start something new, but there is a time to settle and rack up benefits from seniority. You're not necessarily there yet unless you want to be. I just turned 37 and the main thing keeping me from rage quitting is the fact that I want to start banking up vacation time. Plus, as much as I hate my job, I have never had a job I truly liked and I doubt I ever will. But I have skills in a job that is essential. And aside from the manager bullshit, I actually like the work. School isn't for me, and I never used by GI bill, which is pretty limiting. But I'm good at my job, I work for a municipal water authority as a union operator, and I make $40 an hour. Really good health insurance, and with OT I mostly don't want, I clear $100k. Shift work and OT blows, but it beats being broke wishing I made more.
Vets are still people. Some people go around with a chip on their shoulder looking for any excuse to feel victimized. Don't give in to their attitude, especially with your kid around. Be the better man/person.
Besides parking lots one of my Vet caps reflects my Native heritage...being mixed blood with white skin when I wear that I get stares...and i am more Native than white nevermind skin color. People have issues sometimes and those issues are theirs...not yours. I have thought about getting a few betterhelp or other similar therapy cards to hand to the vocally nasty people. That could be humorous but also could start a physical fight with an idiot.
 This a hint?
Personally I think those reserved signs in general are idiotic. Paralyzed spots? Sure. Dudes in wheelchairs should get first dibs.Ā Expecting mothers? I mean... I guess? Maybe there husband should be doing the shopping for them, but I don't know everyone's circumstances, I guess. Employee of the month? This is getting a little silly. Maybe they could work out an arrangement on the side of the building or something? I guess if it's a huge parking lot, it's not the end of the world, but if it's a smaller lot, that's a *lot of spaces that are reserved. Veterans parking? I'm not going to turn it down if the other spots in the lot are full, but I didn't enlist for future parking spaces. (Rows of) Stupid food pickup order spots? This is insane! They should be parking further away because they're going to be here for less time and aren't even getting out of the car! Employees get paid by the hour, so it's no bug deal if they have to walk further away. Anyway, I've never bothered to debate whether the people parking there are vets or not - it's not like the spots hold any legal standing. I guess it's a nice enough gesture, but I'd rather just go with a standard first come, first serve layout. I don't want to feel like anyone is rolling our the red carpet for me, just because I volunteered a few years of my life to the Military.Ā
Agree, I would still park in a veteran parking spot if it was farther.Ā I'm torn with my service but I still served and it's the only time I remind myself that I did it for the good.Ā All the other times, I'm Fighting myself in my head and that's the time I don't want to be a veteran.Ā
Some just need to stoke their diminished egos post service.
Bro, some people are just miserable. And they think everyone else should feel as miserable as them. Good on you for showing your kids to have a backbone when it comes to assholes being disrespectful. Now go enjoy that vet discount at Lowes. What project are you working on?
I was making a return š.Ā I'm about to attempt to regrout my bathroom.Ā
You handled that well.
Veterans are people too, and people are idiots/assholes. Some vets act like theyāre āaboveā other vets and act like they donāt associate with other vets or take part in anything veteran related (all the while, Iām reading what they wrote in a veteran sub lol) The point Iām driving at is if I meet a veteran, Iām more likely to suddenly become friends with you than with any other demographic in the world. It just is what it is. But sometimes, you just come across some dickhead who peaked in high school and acts like it. Or, like me, my worst encounter was some Air Force vet who saw my license plate (free registration in my state, say no more) and acted like he was above me because he didnāt have one. Like wtf, get over yourself dude. People are people.
You forget there were dirtbags when you were in?
A big one: undiagnosed mental illness But other than that, vets are still people and a lot of people are assholes
Not worth the interaction. Folks that are willing to perform a drive by muttering in a hardware store parking lot over something as trivial as a parking spot arenāt worth your time or endangering yourself or family. Youāre a vet, heās a vet, weāre all vets. Great. Dying on that hill isnāt worth all the free appetizers in the world. Tangentially, Lots of people have baggage from service combined with whatever baggage they brought into service with them. Some grow from it, some let it eat them up. Many wonāt. Thatās ok too. Not worth your time. Let them be grumpy, itās not your job to correct them or fix them. All you or any of us can do is hope that they get help or change. Itās a good reminder to work on your own shit because if you saw something in that person you didnāt like, best to make sure itās not part of you. My two cents anyway.
Fuck that dude. Apparently veterans are supposed to have a "look". We could look like anything, or anyone. Probably one of those pricks that liked to pull rank and make everyone else's life miserable while they were in.
When I first joined, I got invited to an off base friendly poker game by some of the other airman. A tech sgt tried to pull rank on me because he didn't like the way I was putting chips in the pot. (Oh yeah, I was also winning)Ā Ā Like... For real bro? You're not even in my unit. Got in my face and everything.Ā
I don't see the point in getting uppity about any of that shit. You don't know other people's stories. You know your own, and it's your job not to make your problems other people's problems. That's why they have all those therapists and psychologists on staff.
I'd say not just veterans but everyone is kinda jerk. I found old veterans to be more honest with how jerk they are lol
My own mother questioned my status once when I parked in such a space. She didn't get hostile about it and it was internalized sexism on her part but I did have to gently explain my status and that yes, I am a Veteran. She is older and having memory issues but it was a tad startling to have to explain this all to your own mom.
Misery loves companyā¦
Because most of us are miserable pricks
I parked in a veteran parking spot today lol Iām white and 31 I got starred down hardcore by one man lol, you have to understand the history of veterans in this country. Service to your country traditionally was your duty as a man, that is warrior culture. To think theres a trade off is going against many years of mentality. Not saying thereās anything wrong with benefits for vets. But there is an objective pov of why some vets might be weird about privileges.
Depending on their age, there's also this huge disconnect with older folks. They see veterans as older than them, or at least the same age as them because they know someone who served. I see this in my current job. Despite having 6 years enlisted and being in engineering on a warship, and another 12 years dedicated to my current technical career not much different than my enlisted job, I'm still treated as just some fucking kid. Because I am in the same age range as their actual children. No amount of honing my trade matters, we'll always be some fucking kid. So they can't imagine some 30 something could be a military veteran, because we're just somebody's kid.
Oh yeah thatās a good connection I donāt consider myself young at 31 but I suppose I felt like that when I was in my twenties as well and now people in there early twenties look/act like kids to me so it probably the same for me when someone ten plus years older sees me. I know carry the work load of older people at my job. Because they just lack the patience and almost constantly have what I would simply refer to as brain fog. I know theyāre just trying to finish out their last few years of working and they know itās sorta unsaid that theyāre not what they used to be. So I typically help them out while listening to their life story hoping someday someone does the same for me.
Hey brother, I deal with that shit all the time. Young guys canāt be vets for some reason. You handled it how I probably would. Just gotta let it go sometimes.
why? trauma and feelings of entitlement. Sometimes both, sometimes one or the other.
Hold your head up. You deserve a 1000 of those Veteran spots Brother.
I hate to say it, but a lot of people join the military for the wrong reasons and end up returning to civilian life with a chip on their shoulder. Since you also mention that youāre asian and look younger than you are, thereās also the fact that veteran culture is very heavily wrapped up in white conservative identity politics. I mean, just for example, any advertisement or social media presence from any veteran consumer brand like Grunt Style, Black Rifle Coffee, Zero Foxtrot, etc. largely feature big burly white guys with thick beards and Oakleyās slamming beers and shooting guns, amen brother. Itās not hard to imagine the demographic this appeals to and feels emboldened to try to claim veteran culture as something thatās theirās and not for others.
37yo vet myself. No kids, though. Imo, you've got nothing to prove that you haven't already done. Sometimes, they're just old and bitter. Just be better than them. Unless they threaten or endangered your kids.
Idk about anyone else, I too can be/have been a total jerk. I credit this to years of violence, prior to the military, along with multiple combat deployments, have given me a bad case of mental instability at times. Iāve been out over a decade now, doing better tho. Yeah I can still be an asshat but I usually stay away from People on those days.
We all knew the demographic before you even mentioned it. Not shocked.
i donāt want to jerk my own chain here but this is why i donāt care who calls themselves a veteran i have so much to worry about then to worry about whoās a veteran and whoās not, yes hold their feet to the fire if you want to, but at the end of the day. itās really between them and the universe (as someone else said) im a young veteran 25 years old.. (iām getting old) and mental illness is high in the veteran community i happen to be one of them that unfortunately had suffered so much pain physically and mentally. and i even almost threw a brawl at VAMC because some guy thought it was okay to talk loud while i was trying to listen to instructions on how to take my medication and i did get in his face before getting escorted out by security, not the best decision but i was frustrated. the moral of the story is we all are dealing with our own emotions and problems that sometimes little things can set us off, not giving him a excuse to be rude to you, but it does show you that so many of us have invisible scars that never fully healed. but iām happy it didnāt escalate into a fight in front of your child.
and plus itās parking spot itās not going to kill me because someone else used it, i can just park near the entrance.
Iām mid twenties female and the looks I get sometimes make me want to duck and hide, but I rather use the vet spots than the disabled spots on my bad days. I think eventually Ill either learn to not be bothered or just get a massive foam middle finger to wave at them
55-yr old black female veteran enters the chatā¦. There are days I want to park there just to fuck with them, days when I donāt even need anything from Loweās
I used to avoid associating myself with my time in the military, but now I park there hoping someone says something. Unlikely, because I'm a white guy, but also I'm getting kinda fat and have long hair in a pony tail. So I don't exactly look the part since I didn't grow a beard, wear oakleys on my head, and were vetbro t shirts.
Lol!!
Yeah fuck that guy.
I never ran into this situation, I live in a military town in the west coast. I would be irked as well.
Brush people like that off, they can eat a whole bag of warm dicks - just go about your day brotha
For the same reason so many more vets are not.
Because they are people.
That reminds me: do I need a special plate to be able to park in those? I just took 12 years off from driving.
Nope!
because people suck Vets are also people
This is why I donāt talk to other vets irl. So much toxicity. It doesnāt help that I was a POG that chased deployment assignments, got hurt pre-deployment and still got 100% VA rated. Our service experiences may differ and the Vet-Bros do NOT like that.
You handled that well enough.
Itās the nature of the beast- Shouldāa told him you were a vet- how would he know? Ppl with kids take precedence over vets
I am glad you stood up for yourself. I would have reacted same as you. What an idiot for making stupid remarks when you ARE a VETERAN!!
We are a reflection of our society and our society has assholes. So we have assholes in service and asshole veterans.
Some vets are just miserable and lack any social awareness, I wouldnāt let it get to you. Although I know thatās easier said than done.
Iām a female vet in my late twenties. You just went through what the majority of woman veterans go through literally all of the time. For whatever reason, people refuse to accept that Iām a veteran and not hiding behind a husband. Iām single and have never been married. Iāve had found notes on my car left by assholes who disagree that I should have a veteran license plate. My car has been vandalized for parking in disabled parking spaces with a disabled vet plate because my āhusbandā isnāt with me. (This is legal in my state. I have mobility and joint issues and chronic pain. I am not visibly disabled, but my disabilities have a major impact on my ability to walk. I got a disabled placard approved by my doc before I eventually got a disabled vet plate. I still use my placard when I am in other peopleās vehicles) Iāve had male veterans do mental gymnastics when I mention that I am a vet by insisting that my husband or dad served, instead of me serving. Iām single and I am the first person in my entire family to have served the military. Iāve gotten a hard time from the VA when showing up to the VA for medical appointments because they think I am there for my husband and not for myself. I have been denied vet discounts and veterans day meals from various businesses and restaurants. Iāve been discriminated against at my local American Legion for not bringing my āhusbandā. Iāve been screamed at by military wives for wearing veteran attire. Iāve been told by male veterans that my PTSD isnāt āvalidā because it was caused by MST and not combat. Iāve had people thank my boyfriend, who has never served, for his service when I mention that I am a vet. I have had male vets ātestā me on military facts and lingo so I can prove to them that Iām a vet. Even on this sub, other vets assume that I am a man and that I go by he/him and masculine pronouns. Over time, I have stopped talking about my service. Women vets are invisible to the public, to the VA, and to the Veteran Community. Iāve spent 10 years trying to validate myself as a vet and 10 years fighting with people about it. I just donāt want to keep doing that. Despite women becoming the fastest growing demographic in the military, people think that only a grisly old white dude, wearing one of those dumb āthank me for my serviceā hats, can be a vet.
My heart goes out to you.Ā I was in medical so I've seen female military members all the time as well as others that's are all colors and shapes so it saddens me that people only think white males are the only demographics.Ā
ignore the jerks!!!
My wife works for the VA and you should hear the phone calls she has to take. I understand there are bad apples everywhere but my wife is nothing but incredibly sweet to these veterans and they still treat her like an asshole. It makes my blood boil
Iāll bet that that guy was an asshole to everyone while he was in. You all know the toxic mofos just donāt stop being toxic.
ya for me most of my previous encounters with random dick head Vets are for any establishment that has a parking spot that says Veterans parking or on Veterans day when you go somewhere for Veterans day meal or store for shopping discount. for me its always the types of people too: the old ass crusty geezers with them veterans hats from the war they were in. i swear they sleep with those hats on, shower with them on, ect. They look at some of us younger folks and think we are not veterans. Last run with was with some dude with his Korean War Veteran hat. I parked in the veteran spot at Food Lion and by the time I get out my car hes already standing behind my vehicle waiting to see who gets out. I get out and with the quickness he said "You aint no fuckin Veteran boy!" I said, Sir, how long did you serve? he said I did my 2 years when I was drafted. I said, sir, go fuck yourself! lol
It's insane. I can't imagine the anger you need to have to hassle someone over a parking spot. I would love a MF to hassle me about parking in one of them. I have no military anything on my truck. No one would know. I'm honestly surprised no one has said anything yet. I actually don't like to even in the vet spot if the store is busy. Too many cars and people who don't give a shit about anything and will door ding the fuck out of your car.
I've gotten looks in my truck but not in my mustang because i have the OIF plates on it. Whatever. I usually park far away anyway.
I don't get how anyone can call out someone for parking in a veteran space. I don't have veteran plates on my vehicle and I never will. How is someone supposed to know. The asshole you dealt with was sadly in all likelihood just a racist piece of shit.
I just avoid any veteran parking spots. Seems like itās frustration ready to happen.
Not surprised, these losers always look for someone they think they can push around. They have nothing better to do. That said i always park in the back of the lot so my car doesnt get damaged.
šļø gonna šļø š¤·āāļø Fuck em.
Well first off, fuck that guy, you shouldnāt have to put up with dickheads like that. Second, itās just a parking spot for Godās sake. Even if you werenāt a vet, I couldnāt care less. Thatās not why I served, to get a free parking spot. That guy is full of himself. That said, even though Iām a Vet, I never park in them. I donāt have a need to park that close (disability / kids / elderly), so I usually just leave it for those with needs.
Well, as an Italian guy who wears jeans and cowboy boots, I havenāt had this issue. But other veterans being dicks for no reason? Oh yeah, almost always army or marines tbh.
You did the right thing. I get dirty looks all the time at Home Depot even though I have a vet license plate. Some are so disgruntled that they donāt properly function in society anymore.
I'm a woman in my early 30s, 100% P&T with DV LICENSE PLATES and these losers still harass me. I try to lead with something silly like "first come first serve, wingman / shipmate / battle / bud / dude" but that rarely works. They just take it as an invitation to come mansplain the veteran parking space to me. They don't bother to read, pause, think critically...they just want to put everyone else in just as shitty a headspace as they're in. Fuck em. Easier said than done but don't waste your precious energy on them.
If the spot is open I take it. Never had anyone say anything. Never had anyone even double-take on me. Not sure why anyone would care.
You were clearly too boot for him shame on you for using your veteran parking spot š
I'm a female 57 year old vet. I have handicapped plates. I've had Karen's come up and yell at me saying I'm not disabled enough to park there. Wtf
That 40 yo jerk would complain no matter who parked there unless it was a white male. Try being a female veteran. Half donāt believe you ever served. Ignore them. Itās not our job to work around bigoted misogynistic racist A-holes.
Lowes is the absolute worst about this. My coworker in the ANG is an active duty orders SrA, who's almost 21 years old. She's obviously still rather young looking, but she got accosted by a beer-belly at a Lowes when she parked in the veteran spot as well.
Itās not just vets. Everyone is jerks civilians or vets.
All people have the capacity to be jerks. it's not exclusive to a standing, gender or race. Veterans have endured some things many people couldn't imagine between training and trauma from experience some don't know how to psychologically cope and it turns into an outward display of aggression and overall being a grouch.
Some people just stay salty. I'm a 28 y/o woman and I'm shocked I haven't had an interation like that while using veteran spaces.
Itās bec they still think itās a good old white boy club when it ainātā¦female veteran here. Probably the same guys that cry this month when the Marines or USCG post a pride flag š³ļøāš
Welll, considering that a lot of dysfunctional people that canāt get work or education without joining the militaryā¦thatād be your answer right thereā¦
Yeah dude, I donāt acknowledge other Vets anymore. I used to feel this type of brotherhood however, over the years (I have been out of the Army for 25 years now), I either get blank stares from the younger guys, or itās a dick measuring contest. I just gave up and keep to myself unless another Vet at a VA appointment strikes up a conversation. In your case, fuck them. You keep parking there, and donāt let some asshat deter you.
Itās a micro sample of society. Some great. Some terrible. Some vets try and be edgy. Shame anyone who dares speak of their service or wear a hat. Some were assholes before they went in and it only makes it worse.
Good on you for sticking up for yourself. I'm Asian myself, look like I'm in my twenties easily. I've never been questioned but if so, I'd tell them to fuck off. I really don't give a flying fuck
If youāre not wearing a huuuge āveteranā hat or have a BILLION campaign stickers on your whip, or if you donāt have vet plates, boomer vets will pop off. I applaud you for how you handled it.
I used to get that all the time. And I'd tell 'em to go pound sand. I'd pull out my challenge coin and plenty of them would back down. I get the "only vets get to park here" mindset...it was set aside specifically for vets.
Sorry to hear about this.
Once you break Humpty Dumpty you can't put him all back together
Some people have what a vet should look and sound like in their heads that they canāt fathom when they donāt match their personal depictions. This is why I donāt park at any special spot or say shit about being one, because youāll be unintentionally asking for it.
I got out and work in an air force hospital, the entitlement of old vets is absolutely insane, quiet professional is an absolute anomaly to them. They truly believe they are owed for their service it's insane.
Take it as a compliment. 36 year old looking like a teen, he probably said no way he's a vet
As an Asian guy, I got this all the way in A-school going for SAR. I was told I was weak, too small from the other candidates , that I don't belong here. I had to fight for every ounce of respect. I haven't had other Vets challenge me besides those who want to gatekeep, but I won't even entertain the D measuring contest. You had all the right to stand up for yourself. Just explain to your kids what happened and make sure they understand. It could had been handled better, but we should not let ppl walk over us, too.
Shit happens man he just some old grumpy shit that probably had a bad day donāt worry about it too much lol some of these vets be assholes for no reason
I have a FL liscense plate that says US Submariner (you actually have to prove that your SS qualified to get one at the dmv).. its pretty funny when people see me park in the veterans spot at lowes and question the stereotypical looking Mexican coming out of a custom Challenger with custom wrap on it.... I just point the liscense plate, smile and walk away. One day people will remember that the US military is the most diverse in the world....lol.
some of them think the world owes them everything
the military treated them as just a number not a human being with feelings so then they treat other people like crap due to displaced aggression