This entire bit is something I think about pretty frequently. But this line specifically pops into my head once or twice a week. And it never fails to make me laugh.
Hahah, hilarious bit, going from the playful make-belief of a kid right into making his toys bang, reminds me of my childhood. As Dr. Penguin said such a sweet, sexual time🤣🤣🤣
In "Poltergasm", Stan is mad Steve and Roger woke him up because he was having a dream haggling a kid about a Grimace glass. Later in the episode, Steve is talking in his sleep "Why would I want a non-mint condition Grimace glass? Your selection is shoddy."
I love random callbacks to early in the episode.
Steve is running away from home. After slipping out his window he doubles back for a box of condoms. He says, "I don't want to forget these (implying he will be having lots of sex as a runaway). But then his next line immediately after that is, "God willing I have enough time to slip them on my attackers."
Stan Smith : Now, while I'm gone, I need you to manage my fantasy basketball team.
Francine Smith : Can I make any trades ?
Stan Smith : No. Just set the lineup.
Francine Smith : Stan, you need a power forward.
Stan Smith : I have Dirk Nowitzki.
Francine Smith : He's soft, Stan.
You need a thug.
You need Ron Artest.
Stan Smith : I don't want Ron Artest.
You know what, forget it.
I'll have Steve set my lineup.
Francine Smith : Fine. Let that nerd set your lineup. Watch you lose.
“YEAH!! LETS BRING HIM IN!!! I WANNA BRING HIM IN SO BAD!! *flips table* **RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH**”
“You are a complicated man Smith I would love to do mushrooms with you.”
Same. Funny how both Family Guy and American Dad lost a news anchor that were both semi-regular characters. And both remaining ones are voiced by Seth MacFarlane.
If we’re about to head out and one of us needs to take a piss first it’s just an automatic response.
Hell I’ve used just when I’m gonna go grab my wallet or check the back door.
It’s basically our “hold up a sec” 😂
From this same episode, where Stan's talking about all of his arts and crafts. They ask him about the music stage place and he just goes "oh no, that I just shrunk down and stole, like Lex Luthor".
Klaus and Steve rapping Linkin Park's "In the End". First time was funny but when they brought it back at the very end of the episode I could've died. It's so fucking stupid, it's great.
I can't quite remember but I've been thinking of this one scene where Steve is asked by Stan, "Do you really want to outlive your father?" And Steve replies "Well, Yes. Given the natural order, I would assume that this is how it would play out." Or something along the lines of that. Makes me laugh my ass off just thinking about it. If anyone knows what episode I am referring to, please let me know as I have been dying to watch that episode.
Which episode was the one where Roger is selling fake basketball tickets to blind people and just making all the sounds of the game? I can't remember exactly what happened in the episode lol
Roger: You know what show I tried to save? The Ghost Whisperer.
Francine: It's still on.
Roger: Really?
I use this every time I see a terrible show is still on.
I sold a bunch of students to the Chinese military for World of Warcraft gold. Some day I'm going to start playing that game. It would be so great to live in a fantasy world. The real world is so dark. Did you hear about that guy who sold all his students to the Chinese military?! It's like I can't even turn on the news anymore!
***"We interrupt this broadcast of Step Brothers --"***
"What! Aw come on! What the hell!?"
***"-- to bring you Step Brothers in its entirety."***
"Alright! Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!"
And the follow up:
"This better be important. I'm in the middle of Step Brothers and it's about to start!"
in the episode where francine sneaks into the cool zone and stan slips from getting out of the pool and says someone should put a towel down and then bullock actually falls
I don't think everyone thinks it's as funny as I do but the opening of funnyish games where Stan and his Friends pretend they're going to kill the family like they're home invasion serial killers can't help but make me smile
I laughed SO loudly at the "danger parametre" on the fridge with five colours being Snots face in one of the most recent episodes, because they were worried about Snots influence.
The fact Lewis is a fucking[ witch-slayer](https://i.redd.it/ex5lff9rxbj41.jpg), and is likely in the same monster slayer guild as the [werewolf-slayer](https://i.redd.it/qp6qqrylpdn61.png), and it is highly probable that Lewis is disappointed in his daughter because she is a blood witch from an affair.
BUT STILL, THATS MY BABY GIRL
my faves are
this one
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Fc3tAX8UI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Fc3tAX8UI)
and this one
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMPFo6\_KBzg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMPFo6_KBzg)
Steve: “Mene mene tekel”
Hayley: “Mom, Steve’s acting weird again”
Francine: “Steve, stop babbling at your sister in Aramaic. It’s a dead language “
And then later in the same episode when Stan points out Steve is possessed by Nemo and Francine just says “Oh he’s probably just hungry, Steve I just did a Trader Joe’s run”
Francine’s 1-liners in general are underrated
"And this guy here IS BANGING HIS DOG!"
STEVE YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!
OH MY ***GOOOOOOOD!!!***
So hilarious!
Some of the funniest shit I ever saw on TV hands down
This entire bit is something I think about pretty frequently. But this line specifically pops into my head once or twice a week. And it never fails to make me laugh.
Your opening remark had me thinking “oh I guess I think about killing myself pretty frequently…” was coming
*”Jump Citayyyyyyyyyy”*
What episode is this from
Season 10 ep 12. The shrink
Hahah, hilarious bit, going from the playful make-belief of a kid right into making his toys bang, reminds me of my childhood. As Dr. Penguin said such a sweet, sexual time🤣🤣🤣
I LOVE this line lol.
In "Poltergasm", Stan is mad Steve and Roger woke him up because he was having a dream haggling a kid about a Grimace glass. Later in the episode, Steve is talking in his sleep "Why would I want a non-mint condition Grimace glass? Your selection is shoddy." I love random callbacks to early in the episode.
This one always makes me laugh and took me a couple watches to clue into
This but “ruby gets a slice” 😂
"And these condoms. God willing, I'll have time to slip them on my attackers."
Holy shit I forgot about this
What was the context?
Steve is running away from home. After slipping out his window he doubles back for a box of condoms. He says, "I don't want to forget these (implying he will be having lots of sex as a runaway). But then his next line immediately after that is, "God willing I have enough time to slip them on my attackers."
Lmaooooo thanks
I think he was running away from home.
This is the one. I saw this episode 10+ times before the line hit me and damn if it didn’t kill me when I got it
Stan Smith : Now, while I'm gone, I need you to manage my fantasy basketball team. Francine Smith : Can I make any trades ? Stan Smith : No. Just set the lineup. Francine Smith : Stan, you need a power forward. Stan Smith : I have Dirk Nowitzki. Francine Smith : He's soft, Stan. You need a thug. You need Ron Artest. Stan Smith : I don't want Ron Artest. You know what, forget it. I'll have Steve set my lineup. Francine Smith : Fine. Let that nerd set your lineup. Watch you lose.
You’ve made us weaker as a family.
He got the fantasy part, but had no idea what basketball is. He tried to put two orcs and a griffin on your team.
F*cking nerd
“Yeah, I don't think mom even knows she has a smartphone. She thinks Bluetooth is a legendary pirate.”
Which is actually true! At least, a legendary Viking. 😁
I know my friend. That makes it even funnier.
“YEAH!! LETS BRING HIM IN!!! I WANNA BRING HIM IN SO BAD!! *flips table* **RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH**” “You are a complicated man Smith I would love to do mushrooms with you.”
The generalisimo dies tonight.. I've painted my children for the last time..
OH NO GREG. THEY BROKE THE FIGURINES.
I miss Terry ☹️
You still see them holding hands in every intro!
That’s hardly enough 😭
Same. Funny how both Family Guy and American Dad lost a news anchor that were both semi-regular characters. And both remaining ones are voiced by Seth MacFarlane.
Now I know why we haven't been having sex... and why we won't be.
Nice belt Steve, you gonna kill yourself or thrill yourself? I keep this line locked and loaded for anytime a friend acquires a belt
I need to…wipe better
This is a running joke between me and my dad
It, unfortunately, pops into my head frequently.
If we’re about to head out and one of us needs to take a piss first it’s just an automatic response. Hell I’ve used just when I’m gonna go grab my wallet or check the back door. It’s basically our “hold up a sec” 😂
That’s not so bad then.
“You know what the worst part is? I can feel your heart beating”
Your mom's gonna touch more sack than a medieval grain merchant on inventory day!
That whole scene gets me every time.
(The one that got my wife) KLAUS: "You came back from Jewish camp?" Literally saw her not get it, a slight delay, then she got it all of a sudden.
From this same episode, where Stan's talking about all of his arts and crafts. They ask him about the music stage place and he just goes "oh no, that I just shrunk down and stole, like Lex Luthor".
In "One Fish, Two Fish" when Roger tries breaking open the coconut with a gun, but keeps inadvertently shooting Steve.
###Lavate las manos!
Klaus and Steve rapping Linkin Park's "In the End". First time was funny but when they brought it back at the very end of the episode I could've died. It's so fucking stupid, it's great.
Principal Lewis wanting to call his Oedipus Rex play "Mother Fucker!" is my favorite joke in the entire series
Oedipus mom has got it going on 🎶
You are my queen, Rebecca
I say this all the time to my wife. Whom is not named Rebecca. She gets upset every time.
I love to sweep, it’s my passion. Simple to learn impossible to master.
"Wait! It will only take a second. They have the same basic shape! DON'T LEAVE ME!!"
Into my body you go
“I’d recognize my moms shade of lipstick anywhere…dog dick red”
I can't quite remember but I've been thinking of this one scene where Steve is asked by Stan, "Do you really want to outlive your father?" And Steve replies "Well, Yes. Given the natural order, I would assume that this is how it would play out." Or something along the lines of that. Makes me laugh my ass off just thinking about it. If anyone knows what episode I am referring to, please let me know as I have been dying to watch that episode.
That's the one with Stanferatu who says "the boy seems to outlive you."
seeks*
You're not even on my radar cuz.
That's the one. Thanks I needed that laugh.
It's called "I am the Walrus" season 6 EP 13 but I don't recall if Hulu has them in the right order.
Which episode was the one where Roger is selling fake basketball tickets to blind people and just making all the sounds of the game? I can't remember exactly what happened in the episode lol
There’s poop in the toaster. He pooped in the cd tray. It’s trying to play it.
I can tell it's his, because there's pieces of hot dog in it!
Roger: You know what show I tried to save? The Ghost Whisperer. Francine: It's still on. Roger: Really? I use this every time I see a terrible show is still on.
"Does anyone know anything that rhymes with unlimited colonoscopies?"
"Hey! It's beautiful outside. You've been inside all day. Now you're gonna go out there, get some fresh air, and get shot in the head."
I sold a bunch of students to the Chinese military for World of Warcraft gold. Some day I'm going to start playing that game. It would be so great to live in a fantasy world. The real world is so dark. Did you hear about that guy who sold all his students to the Chinese military?! It's like I can't even turn on the news anymore!
M-m-m-more papers? M-m-m-more money. M-m-m- more money? M-m-m-more speech therapy.
***"We interrupt this broadcast of Step Brothers --"*** "What! Aw come on! What the hell!?" ***"-- to bring you Step Brothers in its entirety."*** "Alright! Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about!" And the follow up: "This better be important. I'm in the middle of Step Brothers and it's about to start!"
Steve's interest in trains. He needs to be tested!
My currently playing episode!
in the episode where francine sneaks into the cool zone and stan slips from getting out of the pool and says someone should put a towel down and then bullock actually falls
Love when frank gets pissed about bullock saying he's not in Chicago on the phone.
“Tell em how you murdered our baby Amanda.”
"I don't know why I did it."
Just any scene that shows how absolutely unhinged Avery Bullock is. "We're shooting guns and doing cocaine!"
Join us!
"I don't care if you are Sean Connery, that's my jet ski."
Roger: "If you don't get that dead lady out of my room, you are gonna have what I would refer to as a Yelp Disaster."
I don't think everyone thinks it's as funny as I do but the opening of funnyish games where Stan and his Friends pretend they're going to kill the family like they're home invasion serial killers can't help but make me smile
“You’re on fire today, Applesauce!”
It’s served “allah mode.” That means god be with ice cream.
I'm not gay Señor. You just make me do gay things.
Stan, the wooden spoon is for pasta again
First you got a strawberry allergy, then your eyes went bad. 3rd grade took you almost a year to complete!
Also when Steve shoots Santa and Stan goes "say it with me: DEAD..... You didnt say it with me!"
The negotiator that episode when Stan got hooked on crack he was like 5 movie tropes rolled into one
https://preview.redd.it/kputsc8idjad1.jpeg?width=627&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb166ecb7ebf1231bb54eae86c466b4263f17a22 "Chaaaaaaad Looooooooooowe" "Yyyyeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhh?"
You want it when?
Any Steve song
I laughed SO loudly at the "danger parametre" on the fridge with five colours being Snots face in one of the most recent episodes, because they were worried about Snots influence.
Lavate Las manos!
“THERE’S SO MUCH CRIME IN THE DESERT!”
When Roger wants to get rid of the other alien and calls his own number at the gas station.
This is why I love American dad😭😭😂
“Hey!….turkeys”
Haha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who loved this bit.
I guess this is why we haven't been having sex.... and why we won't be. The ups man was shooting his shot
This show is something else. Maybe baby
I always wondered why Stan is basically fine. You should at least have some aches from that
Be sure to get my good side. Who am I kidding, they’re both my good side, its the front thats the problem.
The fact Lewis is a fucking[ witch-slayer](https://i.redd.it/ex5lff9rxbj41.jpg), and is likely in the same monster slayer guild as the [werewolf-slayer](https://i.redd.it/qp6qqrylpdn61.png), and it is highly probable that Lewis is disappointed in his daughter because she is a blood witch from an affair. BUT STILL, THATS MY BABY GIRL
my faves are this one [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Fc3tAX8UI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Fc3tAX8UI) and this one [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMPFo6\_KBzg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMPFo6_KBzg)
Steve: “Mene mene tekel” Hayley: “Mom, Steve’s acting weird again” Francine: “Steve, stop babbling at your sister in Aramaic. It’s a dead language “ And then later in the same episode when Stan points out Steve is possessed by Nemo and Francine just says “Oh he’s probably just hungry, Steve I just did a Trader Joe’s run” Francine’s 1-liners in general are underrated
As someone who is deciding between a pension plan and a market plan, that joke hits different. Retirees have a right to the pensions they paid for.
Love how apparently it's sleepover tradition for stan to barge in and tell them to STFU or else.
The new name for your swimsuit is "The Boneyard"!
Yep garbage men make a ton of money.