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Yes. I broke up with them. Friendships are kinda platonic relationships/dating. I end ones that are poisonous. Had to end one of 16 years because she was just too negative and always being the perpetual victim, wanting an emotional tampon/therapist. She never self-improved.

I had a similar friendship. It was hard breaking it off because I was her only friend. She was negative all the time. I wonder to this day if I could've handled it better. But I surely feel better now that we don't talk anymore.

The answer is no you couldn't have. Even now you show empathy, showing that during the time you undoubtedly tried a lot before reaching your limit. Beyond your limit. This means that they wouldn't have changed, especially if they didn't have a wake up call after you ended the friendship. I think that was the sobering moment for me. 🤗

There is a reason you were her only friend.

Similar situation. Former friends always played the victim and had the "the world is against me" mentality.

Same here. I got tired of her constant victimhood (and never seeing her own bad choices as the problem), bailing her out, negativity, etc. For over 20 years! I called her out on it almost a year ago, and she went into meltdown- that was the last time I saw her. I realized I was only a friend to her, as long as I was compliant and unquestioningly supportive. As soon as that changed, she decided I was a terrible person. I don't need that in my life.

Yeah. I'm just not sure which one of us was the toxic one....

to be fair, sometimes its not about a person being toxic, i ended a friendship because it became clear our beliefs had very much diverged. Nothing on either side was illegal or particularly ethically wrong, so id argue neither of us were specifically toxic, but at the same time both of us were... Just a difference of opinion that made the friendship its self toxic.

When I look back I wonder this too.

So relatable.

Oh yeah, too many. Hardest part is always realising and accepting that someone you care about isn’t a good person

🫂

Yeah, especially when that person is your (ex) wife 😞

Yes - but I was the toxic one. I was super immature and unsure of myself, and when my friend of two years got another friend I was super worried they would bond and «push me out». So after that and some other stupid things I said that I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore 💩 We didn’t speak for about two or three years, but I really missed her. Luckily I matured in my head - and learned some common sense. And I apologized for the way I behaved, and said that I would like to get to know each other again if she wanted that aswell 💛 Now we are besties again, and have a very calm friendship. We have been friends again for about 10 years 🥰

It's nice that you were able to mature and see your faults. Some people don't seem to have the ability or desire to ever look inward and work on themselves, no matter how old they get.

Nice story.

Yes, kicked her out of my wedding. She was moh at the wedding.

Whoa, we're going to need more details. 😂

Ok get ready for a long one, I just posted about it in wedding drama hahah. We were friends for 3 years. There were several reasons for this decision. Initially, my MOH and I met through her relationship with my partner's best friend, who is also a groomsman (GM) in the wedding. One primary reason for this decision relates to the bridesmaid dress that was selected. At the start of the year, I discussed with all the bridesmaids a budget of $300 for the dress, all were comfortable with that. I informed them that if they had a preferred dress within the budget, they could share the link with the group for consideration. However, after six months passed with no links shared, I selected a dress and informed the group that they had two weeks to suggest alternatives if they were unhappy with my choice. Despite this opportunity, no alternatives were suggested. The dress I chose was $175 AUD. Throughout the process of ordering and receiving the dress, my MOH repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction with it, claiming she would never wear it again and expressing frustration that she didn't have a say in its selection despite having 6 months to pick one and send me a link. While I understood if it didn't fit her style, her constant complaints became tiresome, especially since I offered her three separate occasions to attend the wedding as a guest and receive a refund for the dress. However, she insisted on remaining a bridesmaid despite her discontent. Another factor contributing to my decision was the situation between my MOH and GM, who she had broken up with. Their breakup was messy, with both messaging and calling eachother names. Despite this, I supported my MOH by listening to her frustrations for months. However, things escalated when GM blocked her on all social media platforms. Subsequently, she accused him of abuse. When I asked what he was doing and if she was safe, it became evident that GM's actions amounted to calling her names and then blocking her, rather than any form of physical or threatening behavior. One incident that particularly irked me was when GM posted a story on social media during his bachelor party, tagging me in a photo of my partner. When I shared this on my own story, my MOH asked what the photo was and when I explained it was a photo of my partner, she said ““Good to know that everyone is ok with his abuse” and other unpleasant comments accused me of condoning his alleged abuse. The other reason was the planning of the bachelorette party. Initially, we collaborated on the event's arrangements, with my preference being a weekend getaway. However, due to concerns raised by my MOH about the cost, I adjusted the plans to a more affordable brunch, followed by nail appointments and a nearby show, and everything was optional if anyone didn't want to participate in the planned events provided they tell me before I booked and paid the deposit. We had agreed to book an Airbnb for the night, a plan to which MOH had previously assented. However, when I double checked and confirmed if she was coming just three hours after I had paid for the airbnb, which was non-refundable, she backed out, citing excessive expenses and expressing discontent with the dress yet again. Note: MOH is not financially struggling in anyway. My final reason On the day of the bachelorette party (Saturday), I woke up feeling unwell, initially attributing it to possible hangover from a work function the previous night. However, upon arriving at the brunch I had arranged, I was taken to the hospital by another bridesmaid As my condition had significantly become worse where I had to be taken to the hospital. It turned out I had severe gastro and dehydration. Despite my condition, I encouraged the other girls to continue with the planned events and enjoy themselves, apologizing for the inconvenience. They went to everything but the show that was booked and paid for. It's important to note that I paid for all my expenses, none of the bridesmaids covered my costs; they paid for themselves. After being discharged from the hospital, all the girls except the MOH checked in on me, expressing concern for my well-being. Unfortunately, I remained sick for two weeks thereafter. A few days later, on Tuesday, MOH messaged me to inquire about my health, to which I responded that I was still experiencing vomiting and sickness. Subsequently, on Wednesday, the manager of the show offered us a 40% credit for a later viewing. In our group chat, MOH made it challenging to decide on a date for the rescheduled show or even confirm if she still wanted to attend. I asked another bridesmaid, whom we'll call Alice, to coordinate with MOH regarding the show date or her willingness to attend. Alice shared with me the conversation she had with MOH, in which MOH criticized me for going out the night before (despite my explanation of gastro) and suggested that I should cover her expenses, including her bridesmaid dress, because she hated it so much. Alice defended me, stating that I was genuinely unwell and that tight finances were normal for weddings. In response, MOH remarked, "yeah but like no one made her have a wedding". I was absolutely hurt by this comment, and after discussion with my partner and other bridesmaid, it was decided that we would no longer want her at the wedding. I tried to meet with her in person, and said that i was sorry that things didnt go as planned on the hens night and thanked her for helping me plan the day. MOH responded with how I made it difficult for because i got sick.

Wow, I would've dumped her too. What an arse

With friends like her, who needs enemies? You made the right call. I hope your wedding was wonderful.

That woman sounds like a pain to live with. No wonder your husband’s friend dumped her

Several. Trauma and trying to overcompensate and people please isn't a great combo, so it seems. And yeah, thanks to the aforementioned, I wasn't always a Saint, either. They are not in my life anymore, and these days, I have wonderful friendships.

Had a "friend" who would always be an absolute contrarian regarding everything I enjoyed or had a positive relationship with. One time I said something in English when he insisted what I said was grammatically wrong and that saying it that way was stupid, when I found and sent him multiple sources that were on my side he answered "whatever who cares?". I cared, you piece of shit, because you insulted me over it. Blocked him everywhere and my life became a lot more positive over night. Other wacky shit he's done is ask me to be FWB multiple times, he's sent me a dick pic because he was self-conscious about his circumcision scar, he's distanced himself from me when we were younger because other kids told him to and he blamed me for the death of his hamsters, who I've not even been around around the time they passed away. The stupidest thing of it all was that I didn't end our friendship sooner.

Yep, hanging out with the ''bad kids'' from around the corner when I was 15-18. Almost spent 20 years in jail because of those fake ass users. Had to tell them I'm done with them and never go back.

Unfortunately yes, thankfully I reached my breaking point and told him so. I cut him out of my life. It was very liberating. He's actually the one who threatened to cut me off first, I had this image of my life without him and I felt like I would be relieved and my life would be more peaceful. So I said "That's it, I'm done" and blocked him on everything I could think of. He then sent me an SMS (I forgot SMS were a thing) begging me to reconsider and that he didn't mean it and he couldn't live without me, everyone was always abandoning him, bla, bla, bla... He had his good sides but I don't miss him.

How old are you though? A childhood friend I once had where both of us were toxic went split at 35 ish. I often wish I had them back. I was going through post Iraq and cancer, he was going through fentanyl. He's clean now, but I'd take him back regardless.

25 for me and 27 for him. It was definitely not as tragic as your story. I get that shit happens. I've had other friendships with ups and downs, growing apart and all. But that's the thing he wasn't even that kind of friend, he wasn't a childhood friend, I'd known him for about a year, he wasn't my best friend, nor my boyfriend. And yet he was consuming all of my energy. It was a pattern of systematically ignoring my boundaries, not respecting my time and my sleep and using me as a therapist. I tried to support him the best I could. I really did. I felt horrible cutting him off but also so relieved. I had some genuinely nice times with him, but at some point enough is enough.

>It was a pattern of systematically ignoring my boundaries, not respecting my time and my sleep and using me as a therapist. I tried to support him the best I could. I really did. I felt horrible cutting him off but also so relieved. Something similar had happened with my ex friend. Worse is that I let them do that to me because I felt guilty as they constantly told me how hurt they were and I tried to met their needs so that they would not hurt so much also the "you are the only one I feel safe to talk freely to". It went to such degree that I got a sort of a burnout where heart felt heavy, felt nauseous and body literally was shaking from the thought of having to interact with them. During the years I also ignored some of their slip-up that rubbed me the wrong way. Like once when they ranted about their co-workers, they saud that people who aren't creative are subhumans (and they had criticised me a few times of not doing art/creative stuff) or repriminding me for not having ambitions. I also kinda ignored the ecstatic feeling I got if they canceled a hangout. Once they had told me that they don't like the friendship and it is making them feel bad, but when I said "no problem, we can end it" their "no" had a very hurt and panicky tone, so I didn't end it then and tried to maintain it. What caused the burnout was at one point constant negativity every interaction, venting/ranting about the same thing over and over again without telling anything that they are doing to solve the problem, blaming me for stuff they did (like saying it was my fault that they haven't talked with anybody because i couldn't talk with them for a week because i was sick). Took a hiatus. After hiatus they said they were sorry and that they changed. Gave them another chance. It was well for 8 month and then it all started again. And after a few month of constant negativity I got another burnout. After a month of break I decided to end the friendship, because my health is more important to me than their hurt and it did seem that the friend didn't care enough about themselves to try to do something for their hurt. After ending it I felt like I could breathe after being suffocated for years. Time moved slower. I felt like i was doing more things. Had much more energy (like I had operated with max 10 % battery all those years and now my battery is at 70%). After this ordeal I kinda understand why they have a hard time keeping friends. And they told me that they tend to self-sabotage, so it's not like they have no clue.

yes we were only friends for two years. I saw her as my best friend but she didn’t see me that same way. She took a step back and I took a step forward. When I found out she was talking shit behind my back and mocking me, I cut all contact with her. Even though we go to school together in the same year group and tutor group, I have not talked to her directly for almost a year. This took a huge toll on my mental health and i went into a depression spiral (other factors as well)

Yep. I just broke up with a friend around a year ago due to her continually telling me to kill myself 💀

That's fucked up,  wtf..

Does childhood friendship count? I had friendship with this guy, I didn't have any other friends and used to consider him my best friend, he always used to make good use of it and blackmailed me by saying he'd stop talking and break friendship with me if I don't do as he says. I know it sounds stupid but in childhood, these things are big especially when you don't have any other friends. The worst thing was that whenever I had a fight with him and tried making new friends, he used to lure them away from me. Boy, it was a tough time growing up. Damn. Still hurts.

Yeah, he was manipulative and i still struggle to hear my name being said and some specific petname/nicknames still fill me with anxiety

My first "best friend". She would hit me, kick me, scratch me, call me names, talk down to me... and I let her because in my mind "at least I have a friend". And tbh this mindset did spill over into my dating life, unfortunately. But! I am so very glad to say that I have effectively cut out all the toxic people from my life. My social circle is more of a triangle now, but that's fine. I may not have many friends, but the two I do have are awesome :)

I've been on both sides of this. One of my school friends pretty much stole from me, blamed me for things he did and gaslighted me because "Be honest with yourself. It was your fault anyways". The one where I was toxic, interestingly enough, happened between that \^ friends cousin and myself a couple of years later. I never listened, because incredibly jealous when he met people without asking me as well and shit like that. Today I know and understand that I was deeply in love with him, but didn't really realize because at that point, I wasn't even aware of the fact that I'm gay. But damn, I did that dude dirty all the time for pretty much nothing.

They are usually kept at arm's length and placed on the disposable friends list. Kind of like when I had Facebook. Flush.

Yes she stole from me and broke my trust when I was in a vulnerable place

Yup. A friend complimented my drawing, and this other friend said, "Oh, I can do that too." She's always such a "Oh, me too!" Then subtly downplays my interests in front of our friends. It's so annoying, and I felt so gaslit or something.

just currently. Even when everything seems friendly and nothing overtly abusive is happening it can be toxic. I have a friend whom I grew more close to over the past months, never saw him as more than a friend (my only friend really, I'm a big loner. And he now reminds me why I always avoided people in the first place..). He crossed my boundaries on multiple occasions, and every time I forgave and forgot despite it upsetting me for many days, cause I thought he just doesn't realize. I kept trying to explain what I'm not comfy with and to plz respect that, and he seemed to understand but then just does it again? And explained that I want a platonic friendship only and asked whether he's on board with that, because if not we better go separate ways. But I guess I allowed way too much of this, cause just a few days ago he told me he loves me and that I love him too, despite me denying it. But then he just starts twisting the definition and is like "ohh but love can mean anything and you just show it in different ways". And Idk how to respond to that. (And yes we're frull grown adults..) So now since trying to overwrite what I say I feel, I'm thinking he prolly understood very well what he was doing, and what I was saying all this time, he just doesn't see what I say as valid. I guess all this time I shouldn't have waited for his understanding but taken my own actions. But I really didn't wanna lose my only real friend, and I also feel bad because he's so sweet and caring on the other hand and it is such a nice feeling if someone gives you friendly attention, especially when you've been isolating yourself for so long. Like, I'm not very good with social interaction, I wish we could all just communicate clearly and also respect that, that could prevent hurt feelings and time wasted. I'm a spineless people-pleaser, tend to kinda mold around whatever the other person is, or pushes for. And what's worst, I have a hard time showing if I'm upset, especially if the person remains friendly, so I kinda depend on the person respecting my WORDS. (Like you could prolly kick me repeatedly but as long as you smile and remain friendly, I'll be here saying "ohh, sorry, thank you, please do not do this" with a smile back. And nobody takes that seriously. And I guess some people like him will even come to the conclusion that you must enjoy being kicked if you don't appear upset enough, and that your pleads to not do it are somehow not valid?) I fucked up and let this go way beyond repair, now I feel so much resentment and just want this to end. I think words should suffice and be respected, and a friendship shouldn't feel like a fight to keep boundaries up all the time. Why is it so hard to find platonic friends as an adult? It always seems like you gotta choose either 100% or nothing. I think I need to do a lot more "social" growing up before I should get involved with ppl again at any level, cause I'm unable to keep them at the distance where it's healthy.

Went into business with two close friends from highschool. Over six years it just became what felt like bitter acquaintances. Money just amplified every personal grievance, we constantly argued, never saw eye to eye, and the worst part is we couldn't even hang out and unwind at the end of the day because by then I was sick of looking at them. The company went under and I haven't seen or spoken to either of them in six years and counting. I always think about reaching out, wondering if it's been long enough, or worrying that it's been too long. But neither of them have reached out either.

Yeah, she would invalidate my feelings and judge my every move. And her favorite thing to do is to talk about my flaws and indirectly tease them. But thankfully, I'm currently distancing myself from her and it's going pretty well imo.

God, yes. Tbf we met when we were both 13 and back then I really wanted someone to tell me what to do - other than my parents. But in my 20s I got so sick of her opinions. I guess she would say I changed. Well, yes, I did.

Had more than 1 friend who kept me around only to laugh at me or to put me in a drunk state up to do stupid shit that i would eventually regret. Too many regrets now, and I've tossed such people out of my life. Only so many apologies that I can render and only so much disrespect that I can take on my stride.

Yep and it took me about a decade to realise just how toxic it was. My best friend from high school - he was like my brother and I loved him as such - was a colossal anchor and a leech on my life. We'd hang out every single day in school, most days after school and most weekends. We played on the same football teams, went to the same college where we hung out every day, etc... for years. We didn't go to the same university but we still hung out a bunch. So I moved into a house with two other friends aged 25 - he was invited to be one of the people who he was non-committal and so we had to get someone else in as needed to put down money and sign a contract. He didn't want to move 30 miles away to a major city and wanted to stay in the small town where we lived. That's fine, he's close to his family. But when we had a housewarming party he was naturally invited and he said he'd come... if one of us drove 30 miles to pick him up, 30 miles back to the house then when it's all finished 30 miles to drive him back home and then 30 miles back to our place again. Naturally we said no but offered to pick him up from the train station which he said he couldn't do. We lived there for 18 months and he never visited once. If I was ever in our hometown I'd go round to his flat to see him, all he'd do is sit there gaming (note: him gaming, not US - I'd be allowed to sit there and watch him) or he'd be on his laptop. We never did anything, I was just a spectator. It was only after this that I realised how little he ever did for me: we only hung out because I always went to his house, he never came to mine even when neither of us could drive - I would walk 45 minutes to his house then 45 minutes home in the dark on my own and never thought anything of it. He wouldn't do that. If we ever went further afield it was because I could drive, he would often expect me to drive us all places and in our entire friendship he never ONCE offered petrol money or to buy me a drink, dinner, etc.. to say thank you. All our other friends did especially on Sundays when I would drive around to collect everyone to go to football, they would all offer to give me petrol money (which I never accepted) except him. He was my brother but he was a piece of shit to me, he never respected me and only ever wanted an easy life. Unsurprisingly all of our mutual friends gave up on him, I have no idea what he's up to and I stopped caring when I heard him complaining once about working 25 hours a week while the rest of us were all doing 40 hours a week and he admitted he stayed in this shitty little flat because it was close to his parents so they would still do all his clothes washing for him and he'd go round there most nights for food so he essentially still lived at home half the time. It was just sad but I don't miss him at all, I just regret wasting 12-13 years of my life.

GOD yes. My "best friend" when I was growing up. She always put me down to feel better about herself. I did nothing but support her in every way possible, including financially, for approximately twenty years. It wasn't until I fell in love with my last boyfriend that we finally parted ways. She was a terrible person to me. She liked to steal from me too. She would steal things and make me think I lost them. She would even attempt to steal the guys I liked. My life has improved drastically since she's been gone.

Yep! She was a junior and an extrovert. I'm introverted in nature. I was going through some stuff and wanted to be by myself (not talk to anyone or meet) and she thought I was ignoring her for some reason. I explained my situation but I couldn't make her understand anything. So one day she decided to go ballistic about the situation and sent many angry messages to a group we both were a part of. I didn't say anything, just cut herself off from my life. She tried to contact me many times after this through friends and colleagues and personally as well. I just thought it wasn't worth it.

Yes, he was using me to uplift his ego

yes. The first time was thougth to cut it. Nowadays i cut it straight and never look back.

Ya I had a few of them. Must be me.

yeah. i was friends with 2 depressed people, worrying about how they are feeling, rushing to them when they wanted to end it etc. just for them to tell me i am selfish and narcissistic. i have no contact with one of them. the other one started doing a lot better and we got in touch again 1 year after the fight. he is one of my really good friends now.

Yeah, it got to a point where I had to sadly realise that they were all take and no give. Like they were the most loving and devoted friend when something went wrong and they needed to crash at mine or talk something out, but then would stop communicating and disappear forever when everything was fine again. I would call and suggest doing stuff that was a no due to this, that or the other...but when they had split up in a relationship or needed money or were bored...I was their go-to mug...like a source of entertainment or something.

I only had 1 friend in elementary school. And he was only my friend because he was the only other kid who liked WWE. Over the 5 years of elementary school, this “friend” rubbed his un-wiped asshole on me, kicked me in the ribs because I beat him in a match on a wwe video game and pointed a gun at me. Those are just 3 that first came to mind. One time I stayed at his house, his mom and step dad left to go drinking. They came back with another couple. The man of the couple proceeded to stomp his stepdads face in, in the bedroom we were asleep in. I don’t remember the exact reason why it happened, but they were all drunk is probably good enough explanation

Harsh

Yep. Everything had to be done her way. Blew up at me for pursuing something I've wanted to do for years and will make me happy because I didn't think about how it would impact HER life.

Yes. For years and years and years. Attempted to end it over and over. I'm now having issues recovering from how I was treated. The thing was, it was an online long-distancee gaming friendship, I could have just blocked and not answered him. I kept coming back after his sweet talk because I needed and wanted a friend.

it happens.

Yes, and I cut her off. It was a woman, who was gambling addict and whenever I had payday, she thought it was good idea to ask for money. I rarely lent her money, because she never payd back. But once she asked for a bigger sum, I drew the line. Even bocked her.

Yes, she is still around but i distanced myself enough that we never talk anymore. She comes from a wealthy family but her parents had a messy divorce back when we were in high school and almost more than 10 years later she still uses it as justification for everything. She was always one of those “pick me girls” always saying that guys are staring at her and that only guys get her thats why she doesn’t have any female friends ugh. I caught her bitching about my then boyfriend, now husband to her boyfriend while she was staying over at my house and when my boyfriend visited me he brought a very beautiful silver locket set for my birthday, when i showed it to her she said it looked cheap. She was always making fun of my insecurities and always treated me as if i was lesser than her in some way. She always told me my university ( a top ranked university in the country with a world ranking) was a place where cheap people go while she herself was in a university that took literally everyone who could pay in. She once met one of my closest university friends and treated her like shit. She herself is overweight ( not judging ) which i always knew she was insecure about but i remember always defending her when someone said something to her jn that context or made sure she never felt bad about herself. Anyway, she can judge all she wants, i am very content with my life and my relationships and i hope she can find that for herself some day.

Yes. 17 years of friendship. She tried to break up my relationship and my friendship with other people, so I decided to cut her off completely. She tried for over a year to be friends again but I refused. Realised that she was a narcist and I haven't missed her since it happened 8 years ago.

I had a "best friend" and a former foster brother whom I would do anything for. I had an argument with my wife and went back to the city. I had just beaten my fentanyl addiction after 6 years, and I also just got a settlement. I phoned them to confide in them and knowing I had money, they came to meet me and brought drugs. I KNOW it was my choice to use it again, but the fact that they brought it to come see me started a $7,000 relapse. I erased them from my life, and things have been so much better, and next month will be two years clean.

Yes. No one ever told me how much a friend could hurt you. Growing up my family always taught me to be cautious of men, but the one who hurt me the most was actually a female best friend. I had to cut her off but I still miss her dearly for the good times.

One of my best friends in high school became a drug addict. I had to eventually cut him out of my life when the drugs took hold of him. Drug addicts are the most selfish people you will ever meet.

Definitely. I was best friends with this girl Amy, we would hangout almost everyday and talk multiple times per day. At that time I was like experimenting romantically u could say with some of my other friends who were girls which I think she had no idea. So I was used to being incredibly cuddly etc. with most of my friend group at the time and Amy was definitely not one of those people. We never even held hands, barely hugged, didn’t cuddle which I didn’t mind at all i didn’t think anything of it, just that she was prolly rlly into boys. So! I played kinda a matchmaker roll with people for some reason in school and i got her and this guy Ryan together. And then a couple weeks go by and she hasn’t like reached out or responded to the txt I sent and I’m thinkin she’s prolly just invested in this new relationship no big deal. And then I find out from my friend Hilda that Amy has been going around telling people I was gay (which like I guess ur halfway right but i also like guys and why say anything). She was spreading a rumor that i was in love with her like obsessed and a “super lesbian” lmao. And it was SO WEIRD. Like Im the reason she got with her boyfriend and we didn’t even kiss 🧐 make it make sense

I will admit. I was the toxic friend in the relationship. I suffered bad from anxiety and PTSD and I drank myself to beyond blackout every single nigh or every time I picked up a can or bottle. I pushed people away because I was scared. I didn’t know how to properly process my emotions. Ryan, if you ever see this. I’m sorry I threw away our 15 year friendship

Currently struggling through not caving in my own solid 2 year relationship the same way. Not nightly. But twice in a week n once in front of his mom :/ not great. Males me really hate myself. But. I am resetting and I pray that will be enough.

Good luck !!

Thanks. He says he still loves me and wants to do things with me..but then gives me space whenever he needs it and I have a hard time with that His giving me space is usually ghosting me for the day. I have a hard time not taking that personally. But. We've had convos on this before and he does that to everyone, not just me.

Lsd and war of the world's im a tailing pond full of acid rain im 85 highlife morphine right in the vein im not your friend names cocaine

I think yes...

One comes to mind, yeah.

Yes (as usual). She’s the reason why I won’t bother getting to know/befriend future neighbors.

Yes!!

Yes once, good riddance.

Most of my friend were toxic ones but nowadays i have only a few friends or none at all, it's much beter

I don't have any friends...Hell, maybe I'm the toxic one. But I move around a lot, I got this thing about staying in one place too long...And normally I don't carry friends with me when I do, I'm like an Easter egg.

Several.

Yep, my ex from the secondary school years, don't get me wrong we were really good friends, and she did actually "propose" to me on Valentine's Day 1991, if not for the fact I didn't get on with her Brother I'd probably have accepted. She was a bit of a "Tomboy" back then, liked Football and other lads' stuff. I saw her at College in mid 1995 and she totally blanked me so you can imagine what would've happened if we had've got hitched... Although it'd be interesting to see how any kids would've turned out.

I have them now

Almost 90% of my ex friends were toxic

Unfortunately quiet a few. Most of them are party girls I got away when I could. I really hope they're doing better though

I was probably less than the quality friend then

Yes. I thought we were close, but when I introduced her to other friends, she froze me out. Luckily, my friends were loyal to me, and told me how she was trash-talking me constantly. Years later, she tried reaching out to me. I told her to go pound sand.

Yes, that's why we both decided to make our friendship over

Yeah. He didn’t start toxic but over time his true colours came through. He was the worst when we went out drinking. He would purposely get people very drunk by buying them triple shots with a dash of coke in a single glass and passing it off as a single. He did this with friends as well as girls he was “chatting up” He was also a terrible liar. He would (as part of his chat up routine) lie about himself but also for whomever he would rope into being his wingman. One night he was pretending to be a surgeon (we did both work in surgery, just not as surgeons) and he picked a speciality he worked in, so yeah he had some knowledge of. But when he introduced me he gave me the brain surgeon role. I have never worked in neurosurgery in my puff. So rather than try and lie my way through the evening I came clean with her. Was kinda glad he moved away and we lost touch

Many, if not all. You can say, they start out fine but start getting toxic or are just that way from the beginning. Anyway, most of the time it's definitely just the way i was (not good or bad). Said more about me than just the other person being toxic or sm (bet this can be said for 90% of relationships )

Yes maybe. So i ended it up.

I think I may have one. This may be long, I need this. My friend needs my CONSTANT validation. Like constant. She will even send me her whatsapps so I can tell her if they are well written. She is absolutely incapable of standing up for herself, I always have to tell her that she should be able to defend herself (we are 26 years old) She also needs to let me know exactly how miserable her life is, or make things up so I believe she is living in hell. She has to wake up early to work? She will text me a couple times the night before to let me know that she is waking up at 5:00 AM, that the night before she didn't sleep, that she has a tiring day and that she really doesn't want to wake up but needs to. Then, at 5:00 AM she will text me every hour to let me know that she is indeed awake and working. She also exaggerates a lot when telling things, or even lies. The other day we were both in a bus and we fell asleep. When we woke up, she told me sth HORRIBLE had happened to her. I was like: I was literally by your side, what on earth could have happened? Then she told me that she has this strange "condition" where, when she falls asleep sitting up, her mouth opens. I told her that 99'9% of the people on this planet has that condition. It's called gravity. The she started whining: yeees, but my mouth gets so dry, and then it hurts SOOO much when I close it..... Like come on, the way she started the conversation I really thought someone had donde sth to her. She is also a bit narcissits. EVERY SINGLE DAY she has told me that her students tell her that they wish she could teach them next year. Then, when she has said the sentence, she looks directly at me to await for my reaction and receive some praises. Even though I literally don't even answer or tell her that she already told me yesterday, she keeps doing it. This and many other things. This has been going on for TWO years. Literally I sometimes scroll up in whatsapp to land on a random cnoversation and it is ALWAYS her complainig about sth. Either made up or completely taken out of context. I love her very much, and she abstolutely was NOT like this when I met her. She started going to a psychologist and ever her psycologist told her to STOP doing this to me a start taking care of our friendhsip. I literally don't know what to do. I go to bed thinking about how tiring she is and I wake up thinking the very same thing. As I said, I love her dearly, but I've started even being cruel to her, and I know she doesn't deserve it. She is just a very troubled woman and needs help, but I don't know if I can provide it anymore.

More than i can count

Yeah, I was the toxic one. I was down-right a bully toward her under the guise that I was soooo sassy and joking. We are on good terms now, and she forgave me, even tho we haven’t talked in years. I regret treating her poorly and wish her all luck in life, she is a beautiful soul.

Yes they always gaslight, blame, and spread their negativity to you. Completely cut out.

Yeah I have. I cut all connections with them and I live a peaceful but lonely life.

Yes, I realized it was toxic when I'm already at college (we were HS bffs) and decided to distance myself from them. So we were a group of 4, and we were students at this certain catholic school. I am supportive with what they are doing in life and also with their love life. We were solid until we finish high school. College life is when our life started to have other friends but this doesn't hinder us from being together. We still have no issues. They started talking about their love lives on which I was happily listening and supporting to whoever they are dating at that time. Until, I met this one our classmates back in highschool and we started dating. I was in bliss to announce it to my bffs but unfortunately, I hear a lot of criticism from them; as to why am I dating this person, this and that. I guess that time was also a turning point wherein I realized "if they are really my best friends, why they can't support me to whatever am I doing?" I mean, I supported them through thick and thin but why they can't support me on this person that I am dating. They also barely knew this person, despite of it being our classmates back then, but they judged so well that they said many stuff about this person. So yeah, that's when I knew I had to distance myself and grew. But I still support them to whatever they are doing right now and I hope they are happy

Yes guy was a user, ponce and a liar. But he wasn’t always like that.

Yea...and I'm kinda still in it because he's definitely a narcissist but there's alot of reasons as to why I can't/don't want to leave the friendship that I can't be bothered explaining right now but will explain later if anyone is interested enough and potentially has any advice.

Of course i’ve been, the worst thing was that this was a person i expected least to stab me in the back

i’d be surprised if someone hadn’t

Oh yes. My BFF for years. We were each others only friends for quite some time. She got jealous af when I had other friends. We are very contrary and kinda used each other bc if a lack of other friends. But we loved each other like aiders and hated each other with a passion. She was constantly insulted if I didn't do what she wanted I'm quite the dormat so it worked for a while. Than she got a better job and spent time with a Co worker who had a car and a pool and than she fell in love there and I was no longer needed. I can see the roof it the hospital she wodks at from my home. We still text. But I haven't seen her since 2020. It's better that way. Also another friend who loves to use people, like borrowing stuff or money and acts all offended if you ask for it back. She lives in a different state, stays at my place when she comes to visit and if she doesn't need to work she just stays and I have to eventually kick her out and tell she needs to go I need my privacy back

The girl who showed me her tits when I was 14 also got me hooked on cigarettes when I was 10.

I am the toxic friend.

Former GF was borderline. She was less predictable than a cat on drugs. She would not listen to get psychological council or help because it would have broken her completely to realize what she is, she kind of said that. Only option for me was to leave her.

Noone here at all im all alone for almost 10 years already but goddammit how fresh is an air without those bastards i was used to believe with all my heart!! :)

Yep, we were friends since we were 16/17, we are now 27/28. She lied about her cousin raping her and I still stayed by her side when he raped me and got me pregnant. I took loans out for her as she had bad credit, which she did pay back. She had been a part of my kid's life, who is related to her. She even took part in trying to help with me and my child's dad attempting to let him and my child bond. That didn't work out as he was neglectful, she said she was done with him as well and his behaviour. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding, she told me she didn't invite her cousin as they don't talk anymore (just learnt that was a lie) but she did (she can invite who she wants, it's the fact she lied) We were really good for a bit going out, chatting a lot, inviting her out and over etc. Two ish years later her and her husband split then divorced (without telling us, I had a lot of stress going on but let her know I'm here. She never messages first. Never) Then I find out she's gone back to the group of friends (that her cousin hangs with, they also done some things behind my back) that hurt me, turning her back on her little cousin (my child) too. Sorry for the rant. That really was a kick in the guts. Please delete this comment if its inappropriate in any way (I'm new to reddit)

All of them. From 5 years old till college. I can say I have one true best friend. My husband- thats cheesy as hell - but it's 100% the truth. You know those little life moments where you feel like no one is watching? Like really hardcore dancing to chicken little song "tell me what you want" with your kids, and your husband just joins in? I live for those moments As a female- I also have a girl who has my back. I didn't find her for years, and I went through many that I thought had my back. She doesn't use me for money. Our husband's are like creepy enough- are the same fucking person (like its really weird.) They act identical. She lost her dad and we cried in the car together. I thought I would lose my dad to cancer, and she was there for me. I started to notice I started to have those little vulnerable moments with her, too. I think that's what makes a relationship between two people strong - that vulnerability that equates how much you tust them completely. The older I get, the more readily I am to just drop people that don't fit into my life.

Yep, just typical insecure person who constantly brings you down front and back to feel better about themselves. She always has to be the center of attention. 10 years of friendship, I try to accept them. "Nobody's prefect", "I should be able to laugh at my self", my mind says. Until one day i fell to the lowest point of my life, and there was she laughing at my misery and humiliating my condition in front of everybody. Cut her off the next day, she tried to reach out several times throughout the years, she even called my mom. But, I already move on. Eventhough Im lonely af but hey at least I got my peace.

Yeah, my two last "best friends" relationships were toxic. To be fair, I am mostly guessing about the first one, because I just assume I was the one toxic in that one, since I got blocked everywhere and he hasn't spoken to me since (blocked me because I was worried that he wasn't seeing any of his friends anymore since moving in with his new girlfriend and he misinterpreted my complaint of him not caring about me anymore as me saying something nasty about his girlfriend). I was also having mental issues - a psychosis for which I was hospitalized and mostly dissociation on the side. Still wish he would have clearly told me the reason for wanting to cut contact, not just block me because of a stupid misunderstanding. So my last best friend, she was the toxic one. Having learned how much it hurts to be dumped by a friend like that, when it came my turn to get her out of my life, I made sure to explain my reasons as nicely and as honestly as I could. Part of her understood, part of her didn't. She didn't respect the boundaries I told her I desired so I still ended up in the situation where I had to respond to her texts in very few words and avoid conversations with her. Some of the things I cut the friendship with her for were triggering my trauma with her trauma (similar traumas, she said that I had "abandoned" my father, referring to the fact that I went no contact with him), texting me in the middle of the night saying that she just had five suicide attempts - turns out she didn't, she was just drunk and making stories up - she admitted to having made that up, but never apologized), sending me a picture of her having cut herself in the middle of the night, veeeeery graphic, insisting on her wants despite me clearly saying no. She is an amazing, sweet and empathic person, but she was severely affecting my mental health and healing process. It's been shit, both of them. I just wonder what are the fucked up and toxic things I did in the first "best friends" relationship, because it's hard and painful to see them. I've obsessed over why he cut me off like that for about 6 months. Constant overthinking, trying to figure out what I did wrong. Eventually I realized I must have been affecting him in a negative way with my issues and lack of self awareness. It's still an open wound, I just ignore it and don't think about it. So for anyone that wants to end a toxic friendship? Give them some form of closure.

Yes, had the cut things off, much better now because of it.

Yes. I met her because she was a friend of a friend and eventually we where in the same friend group. Eventually after spending enough time together I did consider her a friend. However, she bad mouthed everyone in the friendgroup behind their back and this made me uncomfortable. Ofc, she was and still is bad mouthing me behind my back. But since I live in the other side of the world now and none of my current friends are part of that group I couldn't care less. The time where she made me angry tho was when I broke it up with the entire friend group, because we disagreed in a topic she went saying wild stuff behind my back. If it was just about me I wouldn't care because I don't mind letting people who don't know me believe what they want. But she realized this and went on to say that I was telling everyone I slept with this one girl (this did not happen, and even if it did I am not the type to talk/bra about it to others). This I found distasteful and disgusting as I really liked this girl and she shouldn't have to be in the middle of this petty one sided crossfire she decided to create. I cut contact and blocked everyone from that group after that.

Yes, but I now realize that I was just as toxic as they were. We have let bygones be bygones, and we are trying to mend things.

Two, both were long term and I didn't see it for some time. One was just, well a snake oil salesmen, insincere. Another was a friend who I met when we were both going through breaking up with our spouses. The bases of our friendship was tramadumping back and forth. She said we should stop venting so much, she was right as our convos lead to a negative circle. The toxic part was she ment I should stop venting, she ramped up the venting so I told her it's better we stop talking.

Yes.

I had a very close friend that used me as their emotional dumping ground. All the positive aspects of this person was saved for all of those not close to her. It ended badly but I still miss her. I probably always will. It is strange that we give the worst of ourselves to the people we trust and the best of ourselves to the ones that are transient.

Yep. I’ve an incredibly hard time standing up + I am Pushed around vv easily. Very bad family dynamics + toxic romantic relationships +anxiety + severe depression have just added to this. So I naturally crave & bend over backwards for friends. I’ve had A LOT OF toxic friendships & till today, I don’t have actual good friends which leaves me feeling isolated & lonely. I had 2 very close “friends” who’ve bullied me tremendously & have pulled me down at every opportunity every since we were very little. 1 I threw out & the other 1, THANK GOD, ghosted me a couple of years ago.

Yeah, right now, but I don't have anyone else to hang up with.. Im working on in tho

Yes. She only cared about herself and didn't have empathy for anyone. She would vent about her issues and didn't listen to anyone else's problems. She expected my other friend to pay for everything because she was rich and used the same friend as a personal driver since that friend was too nice to say no. She also asked everyone invasive questions and kept pressing when she was told that they didn't wanna answer.

Yes, unfortunately. People can be very predatory and oppurtunistic. In my personal experience the opportunists were mainly platonic. But recently, I experienced a toxic friendship from a romantic "friendship" I'm just grateful for the good honest decent people that I've encountered

I’m afraid I’m the toxic one. I give advice way too often.

Always

i had a "best friend" who hated ALL of my friends. and i guess, just hated everything in general. just a lot of negativity on his part. the issue is that he often considered most of *my* friends to be *his* friends as well, and would hang out with them without me present. so they became mutual friends through me, i guess? it was *our* friend circle. but after EVERY TIME he would hang out with them, or we would all hang out together, whenever him and i were alone, he would do nothing but complain about them. he would make fun of them and talk about how annoying they are, how much he hated interacting with them... but he would always willingly hang out with my friend group. he would make fun of and complain about my other best friend (whom i was friends with way before i ever met him). us 3 were basically a trio who constantly hung out. but whenever he and i were alone he would constantly make fun of and hate on our 3rd friend. i would have to remind him "you know they're MY friend right? you don't have to like them and you don't have to hang out with them or hang out with me when i'm hanging out with them." and he would play it off as a joke or just say "whatever." thing is, he would NEVER (or *extremely rarely*) introduce me to *his own* friends. he would never invite me to hang out with him and his friends, or i would even be open to tagging along as a 3rd wheel with him and his gf, because i wanted to get to know her, but no dice. and when he *would* talk about his own friends (or even often his gf), he always complained about them, or warned me how annoying or dumb or whatever they were before i met them. dude was my "bro" for nearly 10 years before i had enough of his negativity and asshole behavior. he did nothing but complain about my friends, his friends, his job, his family, and his girlfriend(s).

Ye Did a gall bladder flush, helped it

Yes realizing now my bestie was toxic af lol thank goodness my partner opened my eyes to that

Yes. I had to cut ties. I felt so much better after. She tried to reconcile a few years later and I declined. She was bad for me

i’ve been in many and most of them end with me developing THEIR bad habits and it’s super frustrating.

Yeah. I had this friend throughout most of my childhood, A. We got along pretty well, but there was always tension. It always felt like he hated whatever was happening, and it didn't take much for that anger to come out. For most of my life, I figured I was one of the things that he hated the least, and I tried to tolerate his cold anger. We got into the same college with another friend, J, and things got weird. A and J shared a room together, had their computers next to each other in the living area, and attended a lot of the same classes. But after a month or two, J asked me to hang out in the living room and observe some strange behavior. J got up from his computer to get a glass of water. As soon as he sat down, A got up and got his own glass of water. J checked his email, A checked his email. J put music on and put on his headphones, A did the same. J told me privately that this had been happening for a while, and that it was constant. Showering, sleeping, eating, everything. A was literally just copying J's life, silently. I was dealing with my own bullshit, and had found a new group of friends at the college that I spent most of my time with. J and I made a plan to bail on A and go to a party, literally waiting until he went to the bathroom to grab our stuff and leave. It worked, and J finally got to have a little bit of social time away from A. When we got back that night, A was sitting in his chair in the middle of the room, lights off, staring at the door. He didn't say anything, but he stared at us with clear fury. When that year was over, A and I had both failed. I transitioned to a community college nearby and remained around those friends. J continued at the school and went on to work cool jobs in the industry he loved. A moved back to our hometown, and sunk into a lonely depression. I bumped into him a few times, but things were so awkward and I couldn't bring myself to put in the work to reforge our friendship. I don't think he made any other friends. A few years later, I got the news that he'd died. His parents said it was a diabetic coma in the bath, but I suspected that may have been a graceful cover story. I was sad, but honestly a bit relieved. I told myself he never liked living much anyways. Then I got an email from him, using a throwaway address that referenced a very old inside joke. It wasn't much, but it implied a few things. The first was that he was expecting to die. He didn't say suicide outright, but he didn't blame anything else either. The second was just a link to a report on the rates of child sex abuse in our country. His ended with a line I'd heard him say a lot, "Don't start caring now." I don't know who in his life was abusing him. Someone in his family, someone in the church community, someone at school? He didn't want me to know, I guess. A was a toxic friend, he was mean to the people that he liked and was ashamed of his own smile. But in all the years I knew him, I didn't stop to think about what it takes to make a kid act like that. I know I was young, and dumb, but it's still hard not to regret that.

My best friend has always stopped talking to me when she met new, better friends. At the same time, though, she will get super mad if I prefer being with my husband instead of hanging out with her. Lmao

No because if it's toxic it's not a friendship

Shit yeah. My best friend and I befriended her, she drove us apart for a short while even. Her problem was she needed drama, and when her friends were happy and content, she tried to change that. 

Yup, I think there have only been 2 of those. I think the hardest part about a toxic friendship is sometimes that it isn’t always obvious until it does some deep damage. And of course as friends we want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But at some point you gotta realize they do not deserve a spot in your life. They don’t deserve another chance to unapologetically hurt you again.

Two, I left both in a healthy manner. Life's too short to waste time with such negative people. I like stable friendships and no drama.

All of my relationships have been toxic. I'm still trying to figure out what the common denominator is..

Yes, I was friends with a coworker for a couple of years or longer, and I ghosted him when I realized what a predator he truly was, he was 64 and would hit on any woman that would get hired in, he also tried to get with a 20 year old who was probably 19 at the time. Definitely a sick fuck

Yes plenty. Just ignore and move on.

Happened in life. One was decent but belittled me although I wish to think uncounciously due to nature of his professional field influence on him. When I finallygot fed up with that and rant he ceased contact. I missed him a lot initially but slowly realized it was for the best of us both. Accidental meetings afterwards I "accidentally" overlooked. Another I knew since youth years. Complex person. Mix of good intentions and terrible outcomes. Hopeless liar and takes joy in manipulating others. Attempted to bite me hard several times when I was in vulnerable positions in life. I gave chances. Talked directly about his behavior. To no avail. Blocked him out everywhere and refuse to talk. Third is a decent person who imho was put in unpleasant situation and played along some dirty shit. I had direct talk with him about that ofc no comments was made on his side. One of a few people that deserved resepect. We ghost each other since realizing that friendship ended some time ago. In general I learned not to tolerate disrespect in relationships. Once that spotted ghosting out. May be grew old enough to realize few things in life.

just ended a toxic friendship. she was basically in the throes of addiction and nothing i said or did was going to help her. we got into a major argument and she took to social media to put me on blast and air out all my dirty laundry. i felt relieved because it genuinely felt like i couldn’t leave that friendship. maybe it is a blessing.

Yes she would give double sided compliments and was pretty much racist. Said things like "you're pretty for an Asian." We're no longer friends. Now that I'm older I don't choose friends like that. Life is too short

Yeah it took me 10+ years to figure it out. They weren't very good friends in terms of support and improving themselves. They would complain about the same problems but don't do anything about it even when given honest advice. It felt like they were dragging me down rather than improving together. Decided to end things with them because they were not good for my mental health or my overall social life. Ever since, my social life has been much better as I've let people into my life and gave me more support in less than a year I've known them vs the 10+ for the former friends.

Definitely. Glorified drugs to me every day, tried to get me to try them every day. Finally gaslight me into believing that doing drugs together would make us "brothers". Got a lot of his friends hooked on hard drugs. Had a date rape drug party. Tried to coerce friends to sleeping with him while under the influence of heavy drugs. Had a cheating train going on. Stole from me. Turned all of my friends on me. Went through all of my emails and social media accounts because my dumbass let him borrow my pc. Tried to make money off me by putting my life in danger. Made me paranoid ass hell by using my accounts to not only find me but sent friends to spook me. Fucked up my cars alignment. Used my car without permission. Let people borrow my shit without permission. Went on a full blown drug binge with a friend and kept pushing him as the dude was OD'ing in my living room. Abused the shit out of coke. Had his friends and him trigger my mental illness then made me seem like I was crazy. Tried to do Pavlovs on me but worked on his roommate instead. Tried to coerce multiple girls into sex. Tried to use his "anxiety" to get laid. Breaking and entering into my work places buildings. Stole hella money from workplace. Laughed as he directed me into a parking spot and knew I was gonna hit the curve. Had multiple people try to get me agitated

yes. a colleague turned friend. i cut him off after he resigned from the company.

Is there anyone who hasn’t?

yes, I had to ghost her big time because she had stalker tendencies. So, when I moved I didn't give her an address or phone number (before smart phones). I cut her off completely and haven't heard or seen her since. Some people just cause so much pain and trouble that they aren't worth it.

A girl I was friends with for 10 years was so toxic. Everything I did was always wrong, anything I wore was "sad", any music I liked was "pathetic" and yet I noticed she would basically copy everything I did. The final straw came one night when a bunch of us including my friend and her new boyfriend went to a nightclub. I was outside having a cigarette and he came out and joined me. He drunkenly made a move on me, I pushed him away, called him a wanker and walked away. I left the club immediately with my boyfriend and brought it up to my friend the next day. She didn't believe me. Ended up blaming me; I "must have flirted with him". She stopped talking to me entirely. She ended up marrying him which is just beyond baffling. Looking back I think she was very self conscious, tho she really had no reason to be. I was really devastated by it but it really was for the best she made me feel like shit most days.

Yes. I ended two friendships this month. One friend ghosted me after cancelling our plans to meet while I’ll be visiting her country. She never replied to me and I never texted her again. I was not surprised when she cancelled, she is a flaky person. Other friendship ended because my ex friend freaked out at an airport after I suggested taking separate taxis to our hotels ( we were staying at different hotels). She acted like a toddler so I just left her there

who's asking?

I did. We were friends for years and I genuinely cared about her. As time went by, I noticed she wasn't supporting me when I needed like I supported her. I used to listen to her problems for hours, meanwhile my problems were only listened for 5 minutes. Later she started to do body shaming behind the mask of good intentions. I am curvy and I always felt beautiful. Men always liked my body too. So I never even complained about my body. She compared me with her ex's current girlfriends body type. I remember being petrified, staying silent in shock. I think the worse one was, I started seeing someone. He was a friend of hers. After we started dating one day she said "If i wanted i would take him from you." I don't talk to her anymore. She was a problematic jealous bitch.

Yes. The guy ended up ghosting me, actually. I was terribly codependent and had issues -- he was a narcissist who used illness for sympathy and to get what he wanted. He was definitely my worst enemy.

Yes. Sometimes loosing them feels worse than breakups, but I've grown quicker to releasing when to walk away from these people over the years

Yes it took years for me to admit it to myself though, I’m kind of a people pleaser, and let people walk all over me, I’d moan to my hubby about it and he’d always say you know they treat you like crap why let it continue. Most people avoid a friendship with me as I’m disabled, (not sure why) so i kinda held on to the ones that did and let them get away with treating me like garbage and only wanting to know when they need something from me whether that was a sounding board for their relationship issues or financial at times. It was never passed back though if i needed help. I finally figured out i deserve better than that and if i end up lonely so be it. I’m done with being a mug. Even cut out toxic relatives now and do i regret it no not at all

Yes, so many, but I'm grateful for everything now

yeah, it was bad. even though she was the one who caused most of the problems, i can't let myself not take any blame. It felt wrong for me not to be there for her because I was her only friend and she was in an abusive household, but I think staying her friend as long as I did just hurted us both more. I remind myself that I was a teenager, and I had a lot of things going on in my brain/mind that I wasn't even aware of. its not an excuse , at least I have better awareness now and hopefully that side of me will never come back

the only way you don't is by not being alive

I chose my best friend to confide in when I'd been given my (treatable but still pretty aggressive) cancer diagnosis. I cried while saying it because I couldn't control it and she got upset a bit too and we hugged it out. I was hoping for a chat to help me process it and she said she didn't want to talk about it and instead talked about her life. I let this go as it just being processing, and I felt a bit shitty for making her feel so bad. We talked about mundane shit for a while and then we parted ways. I got a text a few hours later saying she'd recovered from the ordeal and basically said that my crying set off her anxiety and I should have known and not been inconsiderate of those things and she'd appreciate it if we kept that "part of me" separate from our outings. I felt like shit but was hoping she'd just needed time to get her head around it and sent back an apology. Then a few weeks later I met up with a group of our mutual friends for someone's birthday and they let slip that she'd told them all and that she'd been pretty demanding in the "I need you guys around me so I can cope with it" kind of way to them. As in HER cope with MY diagnosis. I cut her off and focused on my health.

Yes. After 25+ years, I **finally** ended our friendship not long ago. It's been great!

Yes. I consider a friend someone who I can contact anytime especially when I need someone to talk to. My ex friend was barely ever available to talk. Would hardly ever pick up the phone or reply to my msgs but when the roles were reversed I was always there. It took me 10 years to realise this person wasn't really my friend. I was just being used.

Yeah he was a mooch is ever sense of the word, borrowed so much money and I just said no more and cut him off, use to see him around afterward don’t even say hello anymore

My best friend of over 12 years who ended up being a bridesmaid in my wedding and is now my sons godmother and I didn’t speak for 3 years when we were around 18 because we had a fight over stupid things and her generally being a bad friend and changing as a person. I really missed her and reached out to her a few times during the hardest parts of my life over those 3 years, I’m actually really sad thinking about it because even though I knew cutting her off was the best move at the time she was always my best friend and I always missed her and there were so many times that I just felt like I really needed her, and I’m really grateful to have her back in my life now. She ended up reaching out to me after all those years when I announced my engagement on Facebook over Covid (we had been engaged a while and actually had our original wedding date cancelled) and I invited her over for a catch up since I lived on my own at that point. I was pregnant too and she was super excited for me. It felt like old times, and over time we kept talking and getting together and grew super close again and when my son was born and she was holding him for the first time I asked her to be his godmother and we both cried a lot. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding too and she’s been there for me through lots of ups and downs including rough patches in my marriage, financial struggles, my pregnancy with my second which came at a horrible time for me because I was just starting my career, she’s been there to support me through traumatic accidents and came to work for me when I really needed her after I climbed to a higher point in my company and is one of the only people I’ve ever trusted to babysit my kids other than my mother (especially as newborns) and that support also helped me get to where I am now in my career. Basically I couldn’t be where I am today without her and she has acknowledged and apologized for what happened between us so long ago, but I couldn’t be more grateful to have her as such an important person in my life today.

Yes, a real schmuck from high school. We started hanging out, I’d drive us to my house and we’d play basketball, eat, talk, etc. One day we were playing basketball and he told me I wasn’t as “cool” as his other friends. I told him maybe he should get a ride home with them. He told me I was rude to change the song in *my* car without asking if he wanted to keep listening to it. Another time he told me he didn’t like me playing “Murder by Numbers” by The Police because it offended him. One day we were in class together and we were (I thought) play fighting, and I pretended to kick him in the balls, but didn’t actually touch him. He punched me in the nose, and that was the end of our friendship. He did introduce me to the one long-term friend I still have, almost forty years later, which is good. The first guy got into heroin, and became a bigger asshole than he already was. I‘d long ago stopped talking to him by then. Then one day a few years ago he died in a car wreck. I didn’t know until a couple years later, but no tears were shed by me. He comes to mind when I hear Adam Sandler’s song, “Steve Polychronopolous.” It starts with “I’m a big fuckin’ dick…”

Sure. I cut ties with them. Happy I've ever been.

Yes but I was equally responsible

Yea I had a friend who seemed nice but she never had any close friends. Keep in mind that her last relationship was horrible and the guy almost killed her. Fast forward introduced her to one of my (m28)good friends and they were compatible. Problem was the 8 year age difference (f20, m28) and little did I know my friend(m28) was a bit controlling (she can only wear certain things, before she would wear tight clothing, and now she would only wear baggy clothing, they only hung out together, have fights in front of friends, he would make fun of her insecurities) so then when given the opportunity to speak up about those issues so she can stand up for herself, she instead stopped sharing her location with me and sent me a long paragraph as to why I shouldn’t get into people’s relationships. So I vowed to never do something like that again, if your friends with someone and they say they don’t have any friends, watch out because they don’t have friends for a reason.

2 as of now one I broke off because he threatened to harm my younger brother blocked him on all platforms and the second one I’m dealing with rn I just need to find out how to break it off in the best way possible

Oh yeah definitely, but I kinda blame myself for it. He was super bossy with me and tried to get

OMG! Yes ...it was a coworker/friend. And it got to a point where I would have anxiety attacks on my way to work because I knew I'd have to deal with her. I ended up quitting that job and blocking her on everything thing. Haven't missed her one single second.

In high school I was good friends with a girl from the middle class. She was clever and entertaining, a good company to have around. After high school she became very judgemental of me and the rest of the group, she often pointed out that we are brokies and what are we doing with our lives. Obviously she was pissed off that we didn't have the money to follow her in the night outs and travels. Her family had properties and she received a generous amount of passive income without doing anything at that time. She made me feel depressed many times till I cut her off completely.

Currently going through the process of thinking about ending one. He’s been my “best friend” for years, and we’ve been through a lot together. After a while I noticed that I was becoming a bit of a convenience, and that he had started to become a different person. We had a long talk today. When I started to hear the “poor me” statements and him trying to blame me for everything, despite how incredibly generous I’ve been to him, I think my mind is made up that I don’t want this person in my life.

Yes. I and my 2 best friends cut them off out of our lives. Been living in peace since then. Felt safe with just a small circle and we felt so belong with each other not like before with a big circle we were around 8 ppl I felt so drained going out with them. So the thing about if they’re giving off negative energy towards you just stop. Love should be at peace (even if it’s a friendship love)

Yes. And ending it is still one of my proudest moment.

Yes, with almost everyone in my high school, I only now release how toxic they were and that I shouldn't have been friends with those people

I have no friends

Yes I had a friend who always bullied me and tried to humble me because I was handsome and athletic. He would use me to get girls to come around but then he would clown on me and basically take me out of the equation so he had options.