The Bible doesn't say.
You see, God was too busy making sure that men knew they needed to cut the skin off their dicks and that women needed to be locked in a barn when they got their period.
The day to day life of your ETERNAL SOUL just wasn't important enough to mention. There wasn't enough time for this eternal being to write it all down. It's almost like the whole thing was made up by people who had no idea what the hell was going on...
Given what they tell the people about said dictators’ births (Kim Jong Il’s, anyway; idk what they say about Kim Il Sung or Kim Jong Un), I wouldn’t be surprised.
Spoilers for the final few episodes
>!They grow mind-numbingly bored, as they're able to do everything they could ever want to do, and never put so much as a dent on their eternity. This gets so bad that all of the entities that actually run The Good Place immediately drop responsibility on Michael, just because he happened to be there. Eventually, the solution is to just allow it to end. Eleanor suggests a final door be created, where when someone feels ready, they can step through into nonexistence.!<
And it's no more fictional than the bible
Well, in my opinion, they "really" do nothing, because I find the concept of heaven as promoted by Christian denominations to be rather dubious.
In the show, it's basically just a town in which you have access to whatever you want or need. There's a bit of a twist to it, but I won't spoil that.
Oh I see. Well they have no real answers for anything cuz we, as lowly mortals can't understand god's divine plan, and they love to use this cop out so they don't have to answer cuz they don't know.
That's an honestly lazy approach though.
Surveying group A's feelings about Group B's beliefs is never going to get you an accurate view of what Group B actually believes, especially if group A is full of people who regularly fight with Group B.
It's just like how we have ended up with a huge population of anti-transgender people who have literally never knowingly had a conversation with a trans person or even interacted with media made by one.
You're better off talking to people who actually hold those beliefs, and IMHO, you'll learn that it's a mix of wish fulfillment and admissions of ignorance, depending on the type of person.
It’s an interesting question. Obviously they’re asking in the context of what do believers think activity in heaven is like, not please tell me what I get to do in heaven. It sheds light on the absurdity of the concept. Duh.
I worked with one guy who believed he was going to be a sheriff in heaven. He was a preacher. I have no idea of the source of this belief, but he thought especially good folks like him get positions like that. Makes sense that he craved power beyond the golden gates. He turned out to be a deranged vindictive weirdo, so he woulda been the shittiest sheriff a sheriff in heaven could be.
So I looked up what typical sheriffs do, and from [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheriffs_in_the_United_States):
> Sheriff's offices are typically tasked with: operating jails and prisons, security at courthouses and county buildings, protection of judges and juries, preventing breaches of the peace, and coordinating with city police departments.
Why would a perfect paradise overseen personally by an all-powerful God need sheriffs? What an odd thing to believe
Stand around and sing Yahweh's praises for eternity biblically speaking anyway. But most people just invent their own concepts so they can be happy with the idea.
You only get to eat from a tree that bears 12 different fruit and the fruit depends on the season.
You drink from a stream that gives eternal life.
If you are not eating or drinking, you are going to sing praises to the celestial dictator
This is your eternity. Good luck dealing with sensory deprivation
The problem with that idea is, memory fades. I re-read all my old calvin and hobbes books every couple years because I begin to forget and they become funny again. By the time I'd read every book in history and played every video game, explored the universe...well, I'd have forgotten half those books and could read them again. That's something that easily happens on a human time scale, so on an eternal one it seems easy to keep from getting bored. I'd never get bored of everything because I'd never be able to hold that many experiences in my mind at once, even some magical eternal version of my mind....i mean, probably
On some Slanesh shit, you'd probably begin mutilating and upgrading your immortal celestial body to feel and perform different greater experiences until you resemble a strange inhuman being or heaven itself is some sort of awesome hedonistic biopunk nightclub
Watch the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks. It’s hilarious. Shows what happens when you die according to Albert Brooks. Meryl Streep co-stars!
Someone told me you can fly around and explore other planets and universes, build new and bigger houses, eat all the stuff you wanted and the like. Seems too good to be on the brochure.
If all the zealots are correct there will be a total of only about 17 movies that god will approve for you to watch. and none of them will be any good.
"You see, the thing about Heaven, is that Heaven is for people who like the sort of things that go on in Heaven, like, uh, well, singing. Talking to God. Watering pot plants."
The problem with heaven is that everything I like and everything I do is about being a human being on earth. Music jiggles atoms in the air and wiggles my eardrum to fire neurons that tickles my brain in a certain way. I eat to sustain my body and the molecules tickle my tongue in a certain way that my brain likes. Everything is about my physical body interacting with the physical environment. Do I still have ginger in heaven? Do burgers taste the same? Is there an equal range of sensation? If it's the same, why? If it's different, how am I still me? All of my motivations and accomplishments are about the physical world.
You get reunited with your parents, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children, ad infunitum
Back when I was still a Christian, the explanation I most often heard was that Heaven would be like a huge praise and worship session that goes on for eternity. Not the greatest sales pitch for me because I always hated the praise and worship portion of church service the most, so an eternity of it just seemed like Hell.
The bible is incredibly vague on the concept of Heaven. Definitely a choose your own adventure kind of thing, which made me wonder who in their right mind could think an eternal praise and worship session sounds appealing.
My apologies if this answer is a little coloured by active dislike of the Abrahamic God, stronger than my mere disbelief in say, Odin or Cernunnos:
First, I don’t think that the Jews have ever come to a consensus as to whether there *is* a Heaven.
Second, as far as a strict Christianity would have it, unceasing worship which is apparently an unending joy. I can’t think of very much worse — the abnegation of all critical thinking, reason, individual perspective or real thought in an endless flood of praise and flattery. It reminds me of one of the last passages of 1984:
*O cruel, needless
misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast!
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all
right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won
the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.*
At least Valhalla (drink, eat, boast, fight, wait for the last battle on the field of Vigrid) did not sap away everything that makes us human.
I got a lot of mixed messages growing up about what happens in heaven/what people do there.
On the one hand, there's no "earthly delights" and you're purpose is reduced to singing as a means of kissing biblegod's ass 24/7/365.25 as his slaves until he decides he's bored with us or something. Or eat us, idfk.
On the other, we're supposed to go to some magical dimension where everyone is the perfect versions of themselves doing whatever they want- which is vague a majority of the time but it's been implied copious amounts of sex is def happening. But foe that to happen, everything in this dimension has to be obliterated first, and making the world a better place isn't allowed at all, bc biblegod hates competition.
No explaination made enough sense to be compelling to me personally to believe the mythology without question.
I'm gonna make up my own heaven. I sleep late. Drink really good coffee. Play with a bunch of puppies, then dogs, then cats. After that a lunch of perfectly made tea sandwiches and lemonade. Back to playing with the animals until I go back to sleep in the most comfortable bed with the best pillows ever.
Oh, and of course I gain all the knowledge of the universe.
This is actually a really good question. Although the answer sucks. It’s crazy how the Bible lacks detail on this crucial aspect of faith. You just spend eternity worshiping “god.” Which, to me, sounds like my own personal hell.
Hell is better. An eternity of free concerts from Elvis, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston and hundreds more. Also it's pleasantly cool.
>It amuses me to remember that [Heaven is hotter than Hell](https://web.archive.org/web/20190524140829/https://www.lockhaven.edu/~dsimanek/hell.htm)
A lot hotter.
It wouldn't matter if you were in hell or heaven, existing forever would be the worst form of torture imaginable. One second would be no closer than one trillion millennia for the amount of time you have to exist for. You would have done everything possible long before reaching 1% of infinity.
The finiteness of life is what makes it worth living.
You wouldn’t reunite with your relatives in Hell. You’d probably spend eternity wondering why Gram-Gram deserves to burn forever cuz she ate meat on a Friday
Religionist nuts that I know think they're gonna literally sit around for all of eternity -- Billions upon billions upon billions of years (they can't comprehend a number bigger than maybe twelve or so) -- singing hymns and praising their sky papa. As if that sounds like the Most Fun Thing Ever.
No functioning brain cells at all.
According to my mother, her father and her husband are having a beer together up there and taking care of all the dogs they knew.
All the dogs \[who never met\] are all best friends.
Why ask this on an atheist sub? 🤣
My take on it? Kinda like the matrix with with a reverse plot.
Your soul gets sucked into a pod which reads your memories and presents you with the fantasy you want to see, all the while draining your energy to power this thing called "god". Eventually you just cease to exist.
I've never heard a reasonable answer to who exactly keeps up the infrastructure, does the cooking and cleaning, etc. Christians believe we have physical bodies in heaven but at what age, or do we get to choose?! Do I still wear glasses, and is so, is someone's heaven working as an optomistrist?! Am I stuck with movies dated from when I die or can I watch movies, or whatever tech is coming next, is that's what I enjoy?! Can I just eat ice cream and not put on weight?! So many questions go unanswered. Sure, blah, blah, blah, redeemed and hanging out with God. Fish and guests stink after three days so then what?!
I think jesus says there are no husbands and wives when the pharisees ask him. It always made me think we turn into ken dolls in heaven. No sex organs anymore
the angels. IIRC the angels are, generally, a non sentient servant class, like familiars. That's the core difference between humans and angels, we ate the fruit of knowledge, and with it, became sentient. That plus like...god magic and stuff.
They play Pinochle for eternity...one game after another after another after another...etc....etc....N+1 times...over and over again...for eternity.
Did I mention it was for ever and ever? HAHA
Well some of them are very big on the whole 72 virgins bit, they never say if they remain virgins once you get there, so either it is real fun or real frustrating. I never hear mention of what "women's heaven" is according to them.
I remember being told as a young person that we’d be worshipping god constantly. I had been going to church 3-4 times a week and couldn’t imagine doing that shit 24x7.
Remember how I gave you a limited existence on earth and said if you worship me there I would let you into the eternal glory of heaven? Well here it is. Now you get to continue exactly what you were doing forever and ever. No stopping!
In Sikhism, we don’t believe in heaven. We’re told you return to that from which you came meaning you’re basically dust. Which makes me question why the faith even believes in God but of course, people need an explanation for why we’re here, therefore God and not willing to accept we literally appeared out of nowhere one day and it’s science.
The bible is pretty clear on this -- humans don't go to heaven (with a few exceptions).
They wait in the ground for Jesus 2.0 to come back to earth, raise them up, and then remake the world into earth 2.0 for the good guys.
>That would be wonderful to see my loved ones again.
Heaven apparently isn't about playing happy families forever. [According to Jesus](https://web.archive.org/web/20210917002740/http://www.godandscience.org/doctrine/marriageinheaven.html) earthly relationships have little if any meaning in heaven. It is all about endlessly praising god and Jesus and kissing their butts, for eternity (hopefully you'll get a break every now and then to reapply the chapstick!).
I'd assume that it's one long continuously improving series of orgasms.
Just kidding. It's all singing the praises of the a-hole who allowed you in to worship him
I think hell would be better. Satan sounds like a cool guy and would probably let you play some games and do all the "sins" that you want. Oh, and I get to meet a lot of famous scientists!
Most descriptions I’ve heard of heaven sound something like “eternal church service”. And church doesn’t sound like heaven at all. Once, when I was little, I said that heaven sounded like a nightmare, and my parents got *extremely* angry at me and forced me to take it back. But I had a point back then. What, I just sit in church all day every day for all eternity…and it would be “paradise”?? And besides, as a seasoned gamer, heaven without video games just wouldn’t do it for me, lol.
Even when I was a Christian, avoiding hell was *far* more motivating than getting into heaven. I was really only a Christian out of internalized fear of hell, and once I realized that, my faith pretty much just fell apart.
In my "too bad there's not a heaven theory" my mother is talking Freddie Mercury's ear off about the color of cooked shrimp, and since occupations aren't remembered, there's no idea who he is. There is no need for "where do I know this person from". Like a dog park, when all the pets are perpetually associating amicably. (I'm pretty sure my mother didn't know who Freddie was when living either).
A fair amount are saying "singing praises" but as other answers to the ilk of this question, it's more like "same thing they did before they started breathing"
...I thought there was something about golden sidewalks and rivers of honey...in which case you know it's fiction because that's just sounds like manmade marketing.
Edit added apostrophe to its.
Catholicism was kind of in a hippie movement when I was in grade school. Guitars in Mass?! Sit back-to-back with the priest in the confessional. Unadorned robes. Pottery on the altar?! Anyway, i don‘t Know if this was “teaching” at the time and part of that hippie period or just my goofy religion teacher, but I’ll never forget his scaring the crap out of me that we will NOT recognize our parents in Heaven. We are NOT reunited with our families. Everyone becomes family. We know everyone equally. There’s no bond to Earthly life. Scared the crap out of me. i always pictured rows and rows of cots in Heaven. I was on a cot next to my Mommy. I’m not going to be on a cot next to my Mommy?!?!
Watching good movies? Who makes the movie? Will it involve "sinful" acts or cursing? Is there any villain in the movie? Because if good people in heaven were to act as bad people in the movie they would technically be sinning by committing a lie. To be consistent with Christian teachings, all movies must be the rehash of the most benign and boring episode of sesame street.
There's no free will in heaven per the lord's prayer. "Thy will be done on earth,....".
Unfortunately, most Christians aren't capable of intelligent thought or critical thinking, so they don't even realize that their beliefs contradict their wants. They are the same people that claim to hate pedophiles and yet vote for the guy who wished well a CHILD SEX TRAFFICKER.
I imagine it as a big amorphous blob of souls all just blissfully floating there like they're on heroine. They are definitely no longer individuals cuz when you are in a state of pure pleasure along with everyone else there are no longer any differences between you.
In the Muslim heaven there's pomegranates, rivers of honey and wine, as well as flowing streams of water. You also are kept cool during the heat of day and warm during the cool of night. Sounds like you pretty much just sit around relaxing and eating and drinking, forever. No internet.
if heaven does exist (if it does all humans would go in it because if god is real he wouldnt be an asshole) i would want to drive around a big ol city, blasting music with the bois
At a meeting with a extremely religious Jewish leader, I was told that you don't see or recognize your loved ones, since you are not in a body, but just a spark or flame. You sit around the throne of God, gaze at him and sing his praises constantly....that's his view of heaven.
A believer once described it as full time service to the Lord. When pressed further, she said that all of her ancestors and loved ones would be there but she wouldn't recognize them nor they her because they would all be spending all the time just singing praises and serving God.
Quite frankly, that sounds like Hell to me.
why not? if you want to argue against christians you should know about the things they like about their faith so you can debunk it. Plus, if you treat christianity as mythology not faith, it's fairly interesting, in the same way the greek, norse, or egyptian gods are. Ever played an smt game? read the spawn comics, watched hazbin hotel or the good place? it's fun stuff through a certain lens.
If heaven exists outside of spacetime, you won't notice time passing. So, I suppose all you can do is bask. You won't notice it, though, because your awareness is based on memory and change -- if you're outside of time you don't have memory or any sense of being to compare your experience to since there is no time to pass. So it's just a void in the end. But your dog will be there, and your old goldfish, so there's that I suppose. When we're done with this we can talk about how warp drive works in Star Trek, or how Sauron can see through his great eye.
Since about 80% of all fertilized eggs fail to develop into children through spontaneous abortion and failure to implant, I would expect that most residents of heaven just kind of float around.
*A* heaven where you surrender your individual ego and consciousness to rejoin some “great consciousness” from whence you came and gain knowledge of the universe and see how puny our conception of everything is seems somewhat satisfying in that it’s better than just being nonalive for eternity.
If the choice is between “lights out” and that, I’m going with it. Now, if it’s “lights out” or “worship me for all of eternity” in some church service? Lights me the fuck out!!!
I think it’s lights out, for the record.
Nothing because when you are dead you won’t know that you are dead, so enjoy this life because it’s the only one we have. Make time for loved ones while you are here with them.
I imagine listening to [my favorite music](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cVqV02ZJpw4) isn't on the menu.
But asking what people do in heaven is a bit of a stretch on an atheist forum isn't it? I don't think we're qualified to answer that question.
nah, it's all made up, so we are as qualified to guess as christians are. Plus, like half of us were christian, so we can speak to what we thought it was at the time.
It must feel sad, you sound more religious than most actual religious people, this subreddit can't stop talking about Christianity, it's pretty much pathological at this point. Remember when this subreddit found out Douglas Murray, an atheist, had nice views on Christianity? People here gathered around and said "he's not an atheist then".
Truly keeping the stereotype of r/atheism alive huh...
Feed the insatiable worship monster.
If they don't have video games in heaven, there are going to be a lot of disappointed gamers.
This is what I was thought back in the day. Endless singing praises to GOD and happy to do it
Thank you.
After the first billion raised to the trillionth power of 'years' I'd be begging to leave.
The Bible doesn't say. You see, God was too busy making sure that men knew they needed to cut the skin off their dicks and that women needed to be locked in a barn when they got their period. The day to day life of your ETERNAL SOUL just wasn't important enough to mention. There wasn't enough time for this eternal being to write it all down. It's almost like the whole thing was made up by people who had no idea what the hell was going on...
Thank you
They're busy all day not existing.
Very good answer.
Christopher Hitchens famously described Heaven as "a celestial North Korea."
Makes sense to realize that the north Korean dictators were probably inspired by religious fundamentalists.
Given what they tell the people about said dictators’ births (Kim Jong Il’s, anyway; idk what they say about Kim Il Sung or Kim Jong Un), I wouldn’t be surprised.
Have you seen The Good Place?
Loved it. Who would have thought that the [actress from Veronica Mars](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VwUANo_TQNs) could be so funny:)
I watched once but I don't remember it. What do people do in A Good Place? And that is fiction, so I wonder what do people really do.
Spoilers for the final few episodes >!They grow mind-numbingly bored, as they're able to do everything they could ever want to do, and never put so much as a dent on their eternity. This gets so bad that all of the entities that actually run The Good Place immediately drop responsibility on Michael, just because he happened to be there. Eventually, the solution is to just allow it to end. Eleanor suggests a final door be created, where when someone feels ready, they can step through into nonexistence.!< And it's no more fictional than the bible
Thank you.
Well, in my opinion, they "really" do nothing, because I find the concept of heaven as promoted by Christian denominations to be rather dubious. In the show, it's basically just a town in which you have access to whatever you want or need. There's a bit of a twist to it, but I won't spoil that.
Thank you.
Every "heaven" bullshit is a fiction dude .... wrong sub maybe?
I think more I was trying to make a point about religion. That no one has ever said what people do in heaven.
Because no one knows. Because there is no proof it even exists. Because it doesn't. This isn't r/religion if you hadn't noticed.
I wanted to ask this on an atheist site because I want to see if others feel like I do that people who preach about heaven can't say what it's about.
Oh I see. Well they have no real answers for anything cuz we, as lowly mortals can't understand god's divine plan, and they love to use this cop out so they don't have to answer cuz they don't know.
Thank you.
That's an honestly lazy approach though. Surveying group A's feelings about Group B's beliefs is never going to get you an accurate view of what Group B actually believes, especially if group A is full of people who regularly fight with Group B. It's just like how we have ended up with a huge population of anti-transgender people who have literally never knowingly had a conversation with a trans person or even interacted with media made by one. You're better off talking to people who actually hold those beliefs, and IMHO, you'll learn that it's a mix of wish fulfillment and admissions of ignorance, depending on the type of person.
It’s an interesting question. Obviously they’re asking in the context of what do believers think activity in heaven is like, not please tell me what I get to do in heaven. It sheds light on the absurdity of the concept. Duh.
I worked with one guy who believed he was going to be a sheriff in heaven. He was a preacher. I have no idea of the source of this belief, but he thought especially good folks like him get positions like that. Makes sense that he craved power beyond the golden gates. He turned out to be a deranged vindictive weirdo, so he woulda been the shittiest sheriff a sheriff in heaven could be.
So I looked up what typical sheriffs do, and from [Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheriffs_in_the_United_States): > Sheriff's offices are typically tasked with: operating jails and prisons, security at courthouses and county buildings, protection of judges and juries, preventing breaches of the peace, and coordinating with city police departments. Why would a perfect paradise overseen personally by an all-powerful God need sheriffs? What an odd thing to believe
>And that is fiction, so I wonder what do people really do. you realize you are in an atheist reddit? : )
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You were clear enough, I knew what you meant. I just found it funny and was giving you a hard time.
Stand around and sing Yahweh's praises for eternity biblically speaking anyway. But most people just invent their own concepts so they can be happy with the idea.
Thank you.
They give glory to god. 24/7 non stop
That’s right. They bask in God's glory and sing His praises for all of endless eternity. Sure sounds like fun,ndoesnt it?
You only get to eat from a tree that bears 12 different fruit and the fruit depends on the season. You drink from a stream that gives eternal life. If you are not eating or drinking, you are going to sing praises to the celestial dictator This is your eternity. Good luck dealing with sensory deprivation
Thank you.
no no, that's hell, heaven is fun. or...maybe I want to go to hell? go bang me a lonely owl demon prince who just had a nasty breakup.
I'd rather be there too, though personally I'd take a hellhound. Maybe I'll see you at the bar.
Helluva comment right here
After the first hundred millennia, I might start to get bored. Books and games can keep me occupied for only so long.
Not to mention depending on a sects’ doctrine, there’s not a whole lot of books you’ll be allowed to read, cause… Satan.
That's right. Thank you.
The problem with that idea is, memory fades. I re-read all my old calvin and hobbes books every couple years because I begin to forget and they become funny again. By the time I'd read every book in history and played every video game, explored the universe...well, I'd have forgotten half those books and could read them again. That's something that easily happens on a human time scale, so on an eternal one it seems easy to keep from getting bored. I'd never get bored of everything because I'd never be able to hold that many experiences in my mind at once, even some magical eternal version of my mind....i mean, probably
On some Slanesh shit, you'd probably begin mutilating and upgrading your immortal celestial body to feel and perform different greater experiences until you resemble a strange inhuman being or heaven itself is some sort of awesome hedonistic biopunk nightclub
You get to spend eternity on a picnic with the people who asked god for forgiveness after they murdered your family.
And the best part is that you're actually okay with it because if your weren't able to forgive them you wouldn't be there in the first place.
Depends on which heaven; I think the Koran is more descriptive than the Christian bible. Pastafarians are promised beer fountains and strippers.
BRB, need to change my flair to Pastafarian.
R'Amen! May you be touched by his great noodly appendage.
I was once, it was wonderful, but left me feeling a bit icky when he didn't call later.
Look down disapprovingly when their grandchildren masturbate. Atleast, that’s what my ashamed, self-loathing teenage self worried they did.
THIS!!! And let me tell you, my dead grandparents are most likely horrified!!
Your soul gets eaten by an Eldritch monstrosity calling itself "God" however he only eats souls that are free of sin, because sin gives him gas.
Oh I don't know.......................Play Chess...........................Screw. Blazing Saddles joke.
uh, church 24/7
Watch the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks. It’s hilarious. Shows what happens when you die according to Albert Brooks. Meryl Streep co-stars!
Who were you? Dinner!! Great movie
I’m gonna make you nine pies!
LOL
Someone told me you can fly around and explore other planets and universes, build new and bigger houses, eat all the stuff you wanted and the like. Seems too good to be on the brochure.
That's just No Man's Sky lol.
If all the zealots are correct there will be a total of only about 17 movies that god will approve for you to watch. and none of them will be any good.
Nothing because it doesn’t exist
They're condemned to eternal worship.
It seems like they engage in non-stop worship; so really, it's hell.
I wonder if they can stop for breaks to walk around.
Read Robert Heinlein"s Job: A Comedy of Justice for the spit take on Heaven!!!
"You see, the thing about Heaven, is that Heaven is for people who like the sort of things that go on in Heaven, like, uh, well, singing. Talking to God. Watering pot plants."
It's almost like being a religious adherent makes you dead inside
The problem with heaven is that everything I like and everything I do is about being a human being on earth. Music jiggles atoms in the air and wiggles my eardrum to fire neurons that tickles my brain in a certain way. I eat to sustain my body and the molecules tickle my tongue in a certain way that my brain likes. Everything is about my physical body interacting with the physical environment. Do I still have ginger in heaven? Do burgers taste the same? Is there an equal range of sensation? If it's the same, why? If it's different, how am I still me? All of my motivations and accomplishments are about the physical world.
They don't drink beer.
You get reunited with your parents, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children, who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children,who got reunited with their parents and children, ad infunitum
Back when I was still a Christian, the explanation I most often heard was that Heaven would be like a huge praise and worship session that goes on for eternity. Not the greatest sales pitch for me because I always hated the praise and worship portion of church service the most, so an eternity of it just seemed like Hell.
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The bible is incredibly vague on the concept of Heaven. Definitely a choose your own adventure kind of thing, which made me wonder who in their right mind could think an eternal praise and worship session sounds appealing.
I always imagined playing with all the dogs I have loved. Not that I believe in heaven but that would be pretty awesome.
My sister died 6 years ago. I like to imagine her being untied withe 3 dogs she had that died. It's fun to imagine things you know aren't real.
My apologies if this answer is a little coloured by active dislike of the Abrahamic God, stronger than my mere disbelief in say, Odin or Cernunnos: First, I don’t think that the Jews have ever come to a consensus as to whether there *is* a Heaven. Second, as far as a strict Christianity would have it, unceasing worship which is apparently an unending joy. I can’t think of very much worse — the abnegation of all critical thinking, reason, individual perspective or real thought in an endless flood of praise and flattery. It reminds me of one of the last passages of 1984: *O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.* At least Valhalla (drink, eat, boast, fight, wait for the last battle on the field of Vigrid) did not sap away everything that makes us human.
Rather be in Valhalla than some 60's ass cloud worship session.
Play yahtzee with your grandma, Ben Franklin, and a caveman. For 40000 years.
I got a lot of mixed messages growing up about what happens in heaven/what people do there. On the one hand, there's no "earthly delights" and you're purpose is reduced to singing as a means of kissing biblegod's ass 24/7/365.25 as his slaves until he decides he's bored with us or something. Or eat us, idfk. On the other, we're supposed to go to some magical dimension where everyone is the perfect versions of themselves doing whatever they want- which is vague a majority of the time but it's been implied copious amounts of sex is def happening. But foe that to happen, everything in this dimension has to be obliterated first, and making the world a better place isn't allowed at all, bc biblegod hates competition. No explaination made enough sense to be compelling to me personally to believe the mythology without question.
I'm gonna make up my own heaven. I sleep late. Drink really good coffee. Play with a bunch of puppies, then dogs, then cats. After that a lunch of perfectly made tea sandwiches and lemonade. Back to playing with the animals until I go back to sleep in the most comfortable bed with the best pillows ever. Oh, and of course I gain all the knowledge of the universe.
This is actually a really good question. Although the answer sucks. It’s crazy how the Bible lacks detail on this crucial aspect of faith. You just spend eternity worshiping “god.” Which, to me, sounds like my own personal hell.
It would be weird to meet up with your great-grandfather and your grandson and realize that they and you are all the same age.
Hell is better. An eternity of free concerts from Elvis, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston and hundreds more. Also it's pleasantly cool. >It amuses me to remember that [Heaven is hotter than Hell](https://web.archive.org/web/20190524140829/https://www.lockhaven.edu/~dsimanek/hell.htm) A lot hotter.
It wouldn't matter if you were in hell or heaven, existing forever would be the worst form of torture imaginable. One second would be no closer than one trillion millennia for the amount of time you have to exist for. You would have done everything possible long before reaching 1% of infinity. The finiteness of life is what makes it worth living.
I asked as a kid if we would be old in heaven and they said no everyone will be young and I was sad because I thought I wouldn’t recognize my grandma.
You wouldn’t reunite with your relatives in Hell. You’d probably spend eternity wondering why Gram-Gram deserves to burn forever cuz she ate meat on a Friday
Religionist nuts that I know think they're gonna literally sit around for all of eternity -- Billions upon billions upon billions of years (they can't comprehend a number bigger than maybe twelve or so) -- singing hymns and praising their sky papa. As if that sounds like the Most Fun Thing Ever. No functioning brain cells at all.
According to my mother, her father and her husband are having a beer together up there and taking care of all the dogs they knew. All the dogs \[who never met\] are all best friends.
The Bible says you spend eternity kneeling in worship while gazing at god. So… eternal neck pain is what the “good book” says.
Why ask this on an atheist sub? 🤣 My take on it? Kinda like the matrix with with a reverse plot. Your soul gets sucked into a pod which reads your memories and presents you with the fantasy you want to see, all the while draining your energy to power this thing called "god". Eventually you just cease to exist.
you're supposed to sing and worship God 24/7
Nothing. It doesn’t exist.
Why are you asking us?
Make rainbows all day. Watch MAGA idiots heads explode.
Nothing. Because it is not real.
Thank you.
I've never heard a reasonable answer to who exactly keeps up the infrastructure, does the cooking and cleaning, etc. Christians believe we have physical bodies in heaven but at what age, or do we get to choose?! Do I still wear glasses, and is so, is someone's heaven working as an optomistrist?! Am I stuck with movies dated from when I die or can I watch movies, or whatever tech is coming next, is that's what I enjoy?! Can I just eat ice cream and not put on weight?! So many questions go unanswered. Sure, blah, blah, blah, redeemed and hanging out with God. Fish and guests stink after three days so then what?!
What if you had true love, and that person died, and then you had another true love later in life? Which love would you hang out with?
I think jesus says there are no husbands and wives when the pharisees ask him. It always made me think we turn into ken dolls in heaven. No sex organs anymore
That's right then what.
the angels. IIRC the angels are, generally, a non sentient servant class, like familiars. That's the core difference between humans and angels, we ate the fruit of knowledge, and with it, became sentient. That plus like...god magic and stuff.
Walk around
That sounds about right from what I heard.
**Come back** and tell us.
Not much. I’m kinda wishing I hadn’t died.
They play Pinochle for eternity...one game after another after another after another...etc....etc....N+1 times...over and over again...for eternity. Did I mention it was for ever and ever? HAHA
They can play for eternity and never beat Chiron at Pinochle.
Well some of them are very big on the whole 72 virgins bit, they never say if they remain virgins once you get there, so either it is real fun or real frustrating. I never hear mention of what "women's heaven" is according to them.
probably the ever-erect penises. There are some verses about that. Whatever that means maybe I am "misinterpreting".
Sucks to die a virgin then ??
They cower in a cloud corner hoping the “good lord” doesn’t beat them again for not worshipping enough.
Why, you go to church of course. All day every day.
They go around asking their dead son if they recognize them and know their name.
They worship god forever.
Fuck bitches. Get money.
I remember being told as a young person that we’d be worshipping god constantly. I had been going to church 3-4 times a week and couldn’t imagine doing that shit 24x7.
Remember how I gave you a limited existence on earth and said if you worship me there I would let you into the eternal glory of heaven? Well here it is. Now you get to continue exactly what you were doing forever and ever. No stopping!
Trick question. Doesn't exist.
To my understanding, they basically just blow their divine daddy and guzzle his cummies for all time to come. Metaphorically, of course.
They endlessly stroke the ego of their invisible genocidal monster.
Jack off
Your eternal soul will be devoured by the almighty, endlessly, forever.
In Sikhism, we don’t believe in heaven. We’re told you return to that from which you came meaning you’re basically dust. Which makes me question why the faith even believes in God but of course, people need an explanation for why we’re here, therefore God and not willing to accept we literally appeared out of nowhere one day and it’s science.
The bible is pretty clear on this -- humans don't go to heaven (with a few exceptions). They wait in the ground for Jesus 2.0 to come back to earth, raise them up, and then remake the world into earth 2.0 for the good guys.
[удалено]
Ah, they also have to wait for Jesus 2.0 to come back to light up the bbq.
What do people do in (insert non-existent place here). ?
Stuff that sends you to hell?
>That would be wonderful to see my loved ones again. Heaven apparently isn't about playing happy families forever. [According to Jesus](https://web.archive.org/web/20210917002740/http://www.godandscience.org/doctrine/marriageinheaven.html) earthly relationships have little if any meaning in heaven. It is all about endlessly praising god and Jesus and kissing their butts, for eternity (hopefully you'll get a break every now and then to reapply the chapstick!).
I'd assume that it's one long continuously improving series of orgasms. Just kidding. It's all singing the praises of the a-hole who allowed you in to worship him
Is Halo available and if so what’s the internet connection like?
I think hell would be better. Satan sounds like a cool guy and would probably let you play some games and do all the "sins" that you want. Oh, and I get to meet a lot of famous scientists!
Most descriptions I’ve heard of heaven sound something like “eternal church service”. And church doesn’t sound like heaven at all. Once, when I was little, I said that heaven sounded like a nightmare, and my parents got *extremely* angry at me and forced me to take it back. But I had a point back then. What, I just sit in church all day every day for all eternity…and it would be “paradise”?? And besides, as a seasoned gamer, heaven without video games just wouldn’t do it for me, lol. Even when I was a Christian, avoiding hell was *far* more motivating than getting into heaven. I was really only a Christian out of internalized fear of hell, and once I realized that, my faith pretty much just fell apart.
[There is a party. Everyone is there. Everyone will leave at exactly the same time.](https://youtu.be/YuSsCRUXGOU?si=WZq0Ah_7Vjs2brgo)
Look busy.
That's workplace
Half-life 3?
What does that mean?
It's a non-existent video game.
I want the 72 virgins. Unfortunately, I'm an atheist.
But what you do if each of them prefers men over boys?
You snap your fingers and you get anything you want! You play chess with your great great great grandpa and splash in mud puddles and all that jazz
In my "too bad there's not a heaven theory" my mother is talking Freddie Mercury's ear off about the color of cooked shrimp, and since occupations aren't remembered, there's no idea who he is. There is no need for "where do I know this person from". Like a dog park, when all the pets are perpetually associating amicably. (I'm pretty sure my mother didn't know who Freddie was when living either).
A fair amount are saying "singing praises" but as other answers to the ilk of this question, it's more like "same thing they did before they started breathing" ...I thought there was something about golden sidewalks and rivers of honey...in which case you know it's fiction because that's just sounds like manmade marketing. Edit added apostrophe to its.
Anything I would want to do is a sin 🤣
Apparently they just fuck a bunch of virgin wives after completing a certain explosive task. Kinda specific weird, huh...
Masturbate for eternity
You spend eternity in church listening to Joel Osteen.
Catholicism was kind of in a hippie movement when I was in grade school. Guitars in Mass?! Sit back-to-back with the priest in the confessional. Unadorned robes. Pottery on the altar?! Anyway, i don‘t Know if this was “teaching” at the time and part of that hippie period or just my goofy religion teacher, but I’ll never forget his scaring the crap out of me that we will NOT recognize our parents in Heaven. We are NOT reunited with our families. Everyone becomes family. We know everyone equally. There’s no bond to Earthly life. Scared the crap out of me. i always pictured rows and rows of cots in Heaven. I was on a cot next to my Mommy. I’m not going to be on a cot next to my Mommy?!?!
Tend a garden and smile, like you're supposed to do now
In the words of Blackadder: “Singing, talking to god, nurturing potted plants.”
Watching good movies? Who makes the movie? Will it involve "sinful" acts or cursing? Is there any villain in the movie? Because if good people in heaven were to act as bad people in the movie they would technically be sinning by committing a lie. To be consistent with Christian teachings, all movies must be the rehash of the most benign and boring episode of sesame street.
There's no free will in heaven per the lord's prayer. "Thy will be done on earth,....". Unfortunately, most Christians aren't capable of intelligent thought or critical thinking, so they don't even realize that their beliefs contradict their wants. They are the same people that claim to hate pedophiles and yet vote for the guy who wished well a CHILD SEX TRAFFICKER.
According to the Bible angels just sing holy holy holy all day every day forever. Sounds boring to me
So, it’s a gated community. I imagine they’re enforcing the HOA rules.
I imagine it as a big amorphous blob of souls all just blissfully floating there like they're on heroine. They are definitely no longer individuals cuz when you are in a state of pure pleasure along with everyone else there are no longer any differences between you.
In the Muslim heaven there's pomegranates, rivers of honey and wine, as well as flowing streams of water. You also are kept cool during the heat of day and warm during the cool of night. Sounds like you pretty much just sit around relaxing and eating and drinking, forever. No internet.
if heaven does exist (if it does all humans would go in it because if god is real he wouldnt be an asshole) i would want to drive around a big ol city, blasting music with the bois
At a meeting with a extremely religious Jewish leader, I was told that you don't see or recognize your loved ones, since you are not in a body, but just a spark or flame. You sit around the throne of God, gaze at him and sing his praises constantly....that's his view of heaven.
You’re condemned to worship someone 24/7 for the rest of eternity.
The Bible talks about being like angels who only worship. We won’t care about other people. Fucking stupid if you ask me.
If it is a Muslim heaven then men will be banging 72 big boob virgins for eternity while women watch.
A believer once described it as full time service to the Lord. When pressed further, she said that all of her ancestors and loved ones would be there but she wouldn't recognize them nor they her because they would all be spending all the time just singing praises and serving God. Quite frankly, that sounds like Hell to me.
And you ask this in an atheist sub .... because?
why not? if you want to argue against christians you should know about the things they like about their faith so you can debunk it. Plus, if you treat christianity as mythology not faith, it's fairly interesting, in the same way the greek, norse, or egyptian gods are. Ever played an smt game? read the spawn comics, watched hazbin hotel or the good place? it's fun stuff through a certain lens.
I just wondered if people felt the same way as me, that no one will say what you do.
If heaven exists outside of spacetime, you won't notice time passing. So, I suppose all you can do is bask. You won't notice it, though, because your awareness is based on memory and change -- if you're outside of time you don't have memory or any sense of being to compare your experience to since there is no time to pass. So it's just a void in the end. But your dog will be there, and your old goldfish, so there's that I suppose. When we're done with this we can talk about how warp drive works in Star Trek, or how Sauron can see through his great eye.
Since about 80% of all fertilized eggs fail to develop into children through spontaneous abortion and failure to implant, I would expect that most residents of heaven just kind of float around.
Lol, heaven is just an endless fog of trillions of minimally developed zygotes.
*A* heaven where you surrender your individual ego and consciousness to rejoin some “great consciousness” from whence you came and gain knowledge of the universe and see how puny our conception of everything is seems somewhat satisfying in that it’s better than just being nonalive for eternity. If the choice is between “lights out” and that, I’m going with it. Now, if it’s “lights out” or “worship me for all of eternity” in some church service? Lights me the fuck out!!! I think it’s lights out, for the record.
Nothing because when you are dead you won’t know that you are dead, so enjoy this life because it’s the only one we have. Make time for loved ones while you are here with them.
Thank you.
I imagine listening to [my favorite music](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cVqV02ZJpw4) isn't on the menu. But asking what people do in heaven is a bit of a stretch on an atheist forum isn't it? I don't think we're qualified to answer that question.
Thank you. I was trying to make a point about religion about you have to be good to go to heaven, but no one says what people do there.
I disagree. I think we are the most qualified because we are smart enough to know the truth.
nah, it's all made up, so we are as qualified to guess as christians are. Plus, like half of us were christian, so we can speak to what we thought it was at the time.
It's difficult to do anything in a place that doesn't exist while at the same time you do not exist.
It must feel sad, you sound more religious than most actual religious people, this subreddit can't stop talking about Christianity, it's pretty much pathological at this point. Remember when this subreddit found out Douglas Murray, an atheist, had nice views on Christianity? People here gathered around and said "he's not an atheist then". Truly keeping the stereotype of r/atheism alive huh...
They listen to St. Peters moanings each time a new soul arrives.
Thank you.