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I always go for it and then we exchange socials. Everything’s totally fine until the guy blocks me off 🥲. Happens almost every time. Like come on, it wasn’t easy to gather up the courage to approach them so they could’ve just told me they weren’t interested 😓.
Please do even if I don’t find you attractive or my type I still enjoy the conversation and I’ve made friends that way. Nobody is ever creepy if they are just friendly and respectful!
No woman even if he’s not into her would be considered creepy unless she’s trying to follow him home or something really crazy. OP might be coming more from her perspective where the line between creepy is heavily based on if she’s attracted to the guy approaching.
We had some creepy women stalking a friend at the bar and the whole group was super excited. Whenever we go out we say "hey I wonder if Rachel's here!"
If more women approached more guys the world would be a better place. Those lucky guys would learn how it feels and be able to adjust their approach knowing how it feels to be on the receiving end. Thats a win win.
As a semi introvert guy who does not frequent bars often, I’d be surprisingly delighted if a woman approached me in an occasion. It’s definitely a power move but if done tastefully and with the right person, I think it can work more times than not.
It feels good....when you realize you are getting approached, last time this girl approached me and we talked for a bit until I got my drink then I went to my friends until one of my buddies stopped me halfway to the table and told I screwd up, so yeah just make it be carefull cause he may not realize you are trying something
I have made the first move 90% of the time because I’m impatient tbh. Also, good guys are too afraid of being perceived as “creepy” at bars as you have already experienced actual creeps.
Any time I’ve approached a guy at a bar or anywhere for that matter, the first date always goes something like “It’s really hot that you made the first move, very confident”
Generally men like it.
That being said, if she is 20 years older and has trouble standing the reaction may not be that positive.
Also not all men are single and those who are not like look more attractive.
You’ll quickly know if the guy is respectful and honest with his reaction to your interest, and the initial conversation. Being a bartender, always evaluate how the staff react to the person when interacting.
I would have absolutely LOVED if women (anyone, really) had approached me in bars when I was going out. I'd love it now if I could afford to go out.
I light up when anyone acknowledges my dog (which is fair enough because he knows he's cute).
Approaching with some silly line is a movie trope to get the writer's desired outcome. It doesn't work. You have to have a reason to talk to a stranger to not be a creep. Guys don't get that. Asking directions or something. "Hey, I've never been here before. What's good to drink?" Have a plan. "Sorry, do you know how to pick ripe cantaloupe? I've got a craving." He gets to feel helpful.
It strongly depends on the scenario. Single guys with money have targets on their backs in a way that is different from single women at a bar. Don’t be discouraged though, and do an approach guy and shoot your shot.
I have never met a guy not appreciate being approached by a woman. I will say some guys might not appreciate it if they were on a date, especially a first date. I have had this happen to me a couple times but not on a first date. I would be friendly to the woman yet, blow her off. My ex would get a little jealous, but in a great way.
Also wanted to say. Approaching someone in public is not creepy. It is really upsetting and actually shows how horrible a person is. If he/she confuses a shy or nervous person with being creepy. Plus it is very dangerous to call someone a creep in a public setting. That can get a man killed.
Love this. It shows you’re willing to take some chances. With us guys, we often don’t want to be seen as creepy or weird or bothersome (& maybe that’s all in our heads, but it’s real in today’s society unfortunately), so we don’t approach often anymore. Even the friendly banter or simply asking how the day is going…even if we just want to meet the person and nothing more.
A woman taking the first step will definitely reduce that stigma in a guy’s mind. Make it ok to talk to strangers again without being seen as some kind of risk.
Did you ever think that the cute guy also finds you cute as well, but you seem to be pretty busy, or you might have a bf but your just out here with some friends or waiting on your friends, so the cute guy will just occasionally lock eyes with you to try and get a read on you, giving you a signal that it'd be ok to come talk to him, bc he would do it, but there's too many factors against him so he'll just sit there, drinking his drink and talk himself out of introducing himself to you.
:(
I feel like guys say "yes, do it", but I think most of us (women) know very well that it's like to talk to a guy that is not interested in us 😂🥲 It doesn't go well and they're generally very rude and dismissive
> pretty much every guy that has approached me and friends has been creepy
Can you elaborate more. What in particular made these approaches creepy? I try to approach girls in clubs as well so I'd like to know :)
The biggest thing is not respecting boundaries so what happens most of the time is I’m dancing with friends then a guy comes up to dance and if we don’t reciprocate they keep pushing and it’s very uncomfortable. Also they come on way too strong so something more subtle/shows that you think of her as a person helps lol
I see. Looks like these are mostly the inevitable drawbacks of the club environment that would always exist
It's loud, dark, flashy, so these guys may be pushy because they think you haven't even noticed them in all this environment. And approaching in a subtle way, let alone trying to connect with one's personality, is hardly possible when you have to shout in one's ear to get heard. There's a smoking area of course, which would be the only place you can have a relatively normal talk
How much a guy’s friends would interact or interrupt depends to how drunk they are. Avoid finger pointing at him or acting like Fante. It looks like a dare/joke someone else has pushed you into rather than personal interest.
The idea of being approached by a girl is quite literally every guys dream, you are honestly very likely to have success assuming they’re single and you aren’t, for lack of a better phrase, horrifying to look at
I never really went to bars. And don’t now since I’m sober. A girl who was a VERY platonic friend of mine since HS wanted to be my wingman to get me a gf (finally) a few years ago and I don’t think it worked out as well as she hoped for a few reasons.
1.) she’s attractive and people thought we were together the one time we made it out to some shit sports bar.
2.) I wasnt drinking then, I was broke and bars are some of my least favorite places in the world to be in regardless of how nice they are. She didn’t know I wasn’t getting paid that week until I told her day of. My payroll dept screwed up the direct deposits that week. She paid for herself from what I remember.
3.) she lied to me on purpose about why we were there because she guessed correct if she did tell me why that id say no. Which I would have because I hate bars. I thought that she needed a DD and I was more than happy to help because Uber/Lyft wasn’t prevalent in the area. I wasn’t too happy. The bar was packed, I was starting to have an anxiety attack and being lied to. Wasn’t in the mood anymore and we never went out after that. She gave up on me and we didn’t talk again for months. This was in 2016. She’s now engaged and we’re no longer friends.
I still don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t plan to. I’m 30. I gave up on all that years ago.
Honestly I feel like a girl that approaches me in a forward manner must be a huge slut and probably have some kind of motive. She should instead sit near me and let a natural interaction occur.
You don’t need to approach if you don’t feel comfortable but holy shit do you all need to work on your signals. At least look and hold eye contact if you’re interested.
Bangable girl approaches me at the bar. I am happy.
Ugly girl approaches me at the bar. I am uncomfortable.
OP men go to the bars and always would like to meet women. Why would they not like girls approaching them?
Makes our life easier.
Married guy in his fifties. I was recently hit on at a bar and kissed by a woman from Brazil. I'm in a sexless marriage. I recently asked for an open marriage, but my request was denied. I was a little bit intimidated, but I felt like she had a motive. The trust wasn't there, and I didn't feel any chemistry. I didn't even get hard, which surprised me.
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It is SUPER sexy when a girl approaches a guy - shows courage and going out of the norm. Go for it!
Yeah at worst the guy won't be interested for whatever reason but it's still generally a confidence booster.
I always go for it and then we exchange socials. Everything’s totally fine until the guy blocks me off 🥲. Happens almost every time. Like come on, it wasn’t easy to gather up the courage to approach them so they could’ve just told me they weren’t interested 😓.
This has been asked a million times and the answer is always, "Oh God, please!"
Please do even if I don’t find you attractive or my type I still enjoy the conversation and I’ve made friends that way. Nobody is ever creepy if they are just friendly and respectful!
No woman even if he’s not into her would be considered creepy unless she’s trying to follow him home or something really crazy. OP might be coming more from her perspective where the line between creepy is heavily based on if she’s attracted to the guy approaching.
We had some creepy women stalking a friend at the bar and the whole group was super excited. Whenever we go out we say "hey I wonder if Rachel's here!"
If more women approached more guys the world would be a better place. Those lucky guys would learn how it feels and be able to adjust their approach knowing how it feels to be on the receiving end. Thats a win win.
It would also normalize guy approaching in general thinking no matter your gender you can just approach
True dat.
Depends on what you look like. For some people approaching the wrong person is akin to a federal crime.
Do it!
Doesnt creepy really just mean unattractive?
I think more women should approach guys.
I wouldn’t mind if at all. In fact I’d think it’s really cute.
As a semi introvert guy who does not frequent bars often, I’d be surprisingly delighted if a woman approached me in an occasion. It’s definitely a power move but if done tastefully and with the right person, I think it can work more times than not.
It feels good....when you realize you are getting approached, last time this girl approached me and we talked for a bit until I got my drink then I went to my friends until one of my buddies stopped me halfway to the table and told I screwd up, so yeah just make it be carefull cause he may not realize you are trying something
I have made the first move 90% of the time because I’m impatient tbh. Also, good guys are too afraid of being perceived as “creepy” at bars as you have already experienced actual creeps. Any time I’ve approached a guy at a bar or anywhere for that matter, the first date always goes something like “It’s really hot that you made the first move, very confident”
[удалено]
Generally men like it. That being said, if she is 20 years older and has trouble standing the reaction may not be that positive. Also not all men are single and those who are not like look more attractive.
If I'm being honest, because it's never happened to me that I'm aware of, I'd be suspicious that it was some mean girl shenanigans.
It's true and it's sad
You’ll quickly know if the guy is respectful and honest with his reaction to your interest, and the initial conversation. Being a bartender, always evaluate how the staff react to the person when interacting.
Shut the fuck up. Dumb ass question
I would have absolutely LOVED if women (anyone, really) had approached me in bars when I was going out. I'd love it now if I could afford to go out. I light up when anyone acknowledges my dog (which is fair enough because he knows he's cute).
Women do this? I'd be in a state of shock. If she bought me a beer to I'd be looking for the candid camera and snickering director.
From my experience girls usually will lean on me or ask me a random question but I think a lot of them are scared to approach.
no problem with being approached, if anything, it would be flattering.
Approaching with some silly line is a movie trope to get the writer's desired outcome. It doesn't work. You have to have a reason to talk to a stranger to not be a creep. Guys don't get that. Asking directions or something. "Hey, I've never been here before. What's good to drink?" Have a plan. "Sorry, do you know how to pick ripe cantaloupe? I've got a craving." He gets to feel helpful.
Never happens so can’t tell you.
It strongly depends on the scenario. Single guys with money have targets on their backs in a way that is different from single women at a bar. Don’t be discouraged though, and do an approach guy and shoot your shot.
Equal rights equal fights
I have never met a guy not appreciate being approached by a woman. I will say some guys might not appreciate it if they were on a date, especially a first date. I have had this happen to me a couple times but not on a first date. I would be friendly to the woman yet, blow her off. My ex would get a little jealous, but in a great way.
Also wanted to say. Approaching someone in public is not creepy. It is really upsetting and actually shows how horrible a person is. If he/she confuses a shy or nervous person with being creepy. Plus it is very dangerous to call someone a creep in a public setting. That can get a man killed.
Love this. It shows you’re willing to take some chances. With us guys, we often don’t want to be seen as creepy or weird or bothersome (& maybe that’s all in our heads, but it’s real in today’s society unfortunately), so we don’t approach often anymore. Even the friendly banter or simply asking how the day is going…even if we just want to meet the person and nothing more. A woman taking the first step will definitely reduce that stigma in a guy’s mind. Make it ok to talk to strangers again without being seen as some kind of risk.
My only long term relationship started with a girl coming up to me because her friend thought I was cute.
Did you ever think that the cute guy also finds you cute as well, but you seem to be pretty busy, or you might have a bf but your just out here with some friends or waiting on your friends, so the cute guy will just occasionally lock eyes with you to try and get a read on you, giving you a signal that it'd be ok to come talk to him, bc he would do it, but there's too many factors against him so he'll just sit there, drinking his drink and talk himself out of introducing himself to you. :(
This would be a nice change since it never usually happens
Women really need to understand this: Guys do NOT find it creepy when you approach us. It's actually a HUGE relief.
I feel like guys say "yes, do it", but I think most of us (women) know very well that it's like to talk to a guy that is not interested in us 😂🥲 It doesn't go well and they're generally very rude and dismissive
> pretty much every guy that has approached me and friends has been creepy Can you elaborate more. What in particular made these approaches creepy? I try to approach girls in clubs as well so I'd like to know :)
The biggest thing is not respecting boundaries so what happens most of the time is I’m dancing with friends then a guy comes up to dance and if we don’t reciprocate they keep pushing and it’s very uncomfortable. Also they come on way too strong so something more subtle/shows that you think of her as a person helps lol
I see. Looks like these are mostly the inevitable drawbacks of the club environment that would always exist It's loud, dark, flashy, so these guys may be pushy because they think you haven't even noticed them in all this environment. And approaching in a subtle way, let alone trying to connect with one's personality, is hardly possible when you have to shout in one's ear to get heard. There's a smoking area of course, which would be the only place you can have a relatively normal talk
How much a guy’s friends would interact or interrupt depends to how drunk they are. Avoid finger pointing at him or acting like Fante. It looks like a dare/joke someone else has pushed you into rather than personal interest.
Just be aware that if you notice a man an even begin to think about approaching him, he gets this from women *all the time*.
A girl approaching a guy in any setting is a 95% success rate a guy approaching a women will never have that on average
GUYS DO NOT SEE GIRLS AS CREEPY WHEN THEY APPROACH.
The idea of being approached by a girl is quite literally every guys dream, you are honestly very likely to have success assuming they’re single and you aren’t, for lack of a better phrase, horrifying to look at
If they find you unattractive and even fat they’ll be disgusted. Men only want to be hit on my hot women who are their type 😂
I've got news for you - this just so happens to be true for BOTH genders. Imagine, both genders want attractive people to approach them. Crazy.
I never really went to bars. And don’t now since I’m sober. A girl who was a VERY platonic friend of mine since HS wanted to be my wingman to get me a gf (finally) a few years ago and I don’t think it worked out as well as she hoped for a few reasons. 1.) she’s attractive and people thought we were together the one time we made it out to some shit sports bar. 2.) I wasnt drinking then, I was broke and bars are some of my least favorite places in the world to be in regardless of how nice they are. She didn’t know I wasn’t getting paid that week until I told her day of. My payroll dept screwed up the direct deposits that week. She paid for herself from what I remember. 3.) she lied to me on purpose about why we were there because she guessed correct if she did tell me why that id say no. Which I would have because I hate bars. I thought that she needed a DD and I was more than happy to help because Uber/Lyft wasn’t prevalent in the area. I wasn’t too happy. The bar was packed, I was starting to have an anxiety attack and being lied to. Wasn’t in the mood anymore and we never went out after that. She gave up on me and we didn’t talk again for months. This was in 2016. She’s now engaged and we’re no longer friends. I still don’t have a girlfriend. Don’t plan to. I’m 30. I gave up on all that years ago.
Honestly I feel like a girl that approaches me in a forward manner must be a huge slut and probably have some kind of motive. She should instead sit near me and let a natural interaction occur.
You don’t need to approach if you don’t feel comfortable but holy shit do you all need to work on your signals. At least look and hold eye contact if you’re interested.
Bangable girl approaches me at the bar. I am happy. Ugly girl approaches me at the bar. I am uncomfortable. OP men go to the bars and always would like to meet women. Why would they not like girls approaching them? Makes our life easier.
Guess that explains why men are so mean to me when I approach them in the bar...
approach ugly ones who never get approached. they will be over the moon lol
I've fucked plenty of ugly men trust me
well then it seems they were not mean to you then lol
Nah they were still plenty mean
then why did you fuck them? lol
Because I'm a desperate loser who wants to be loved
plenty of nice ugly guys who would love to have a girl's company. block and delete mean dudes. only give your time to nice guys.
Nice guys are trash in bed 🤷♀️
Please do it!
Do it. And be more sympathetic toward the guys who approach you at the bar for the same reason.
do it!
Married guy in his fifties. I was recently hit on at a bar and kissed by a woman from Brazil. I'm in a sexless marriage. I recently asked for an open marriage, but my request was denied. I was a little bit intimidated, but I felt like she had a motive. The trust wasn't there, and I didn't feel any chemistry. I didn't even get hard, which surprised me.