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the staring part is a reflex or an instinct. You see an attractive woman, your brain shuts off for a couple seconds and then you realize you've been looking at her for like 3 seconds and need to stop. then you look away but on a conscious level you never intended to start an interaction with this person. the gaze is an artifact of dna. and i mean that for real. It happens so automatically and so subconsciously that i do not believe it is a product of social conditioning. it's deep lizard brain.
Idk if that's only a "guy" thing. I have done that in the past subconsciously, when I've had zero interest in interacting with the person I was staring at.
I reckon with him... this only happens sometimes and not every time, you find this girl and you cannot take your eyes off and the next moment she disappears and the whole day its all about her 🤣.
That was so eloquent…and exactly why I’m amazed gay/lez relationships aren’t the norm in the world 🤣 It’s like, women mature faster, are biologically ‘prime’ for kids exactly when guys seem compelled to fuck anything that has a pulse - a Peter Pan phase im beginning to believe never ends. Sigh…
Women want to be approached by guys, but not like a piece of slimy meat. As a chick I can say that most women prefer directness/clarity but with smooth and endearing delivery (ie. one could say “that dress is butt ugly” or rather, “that dress is interesting”, 😂)
HOWEVER - and this is to the ladies creeping on here like me - women MUST reject men better!!! I’ve seen girls absolutely destroy a guy who did have the good temerity to ask a girl out, only for her to slag him off super mean-girl like. That shit is just Ill bred narcissism and women should be way more mindful in saying they’re not interested.
It is that’s why we don’t just staring, we also look left and right and do it indirectly so it won’t make us a creep. Also the confidence too I don’t have that
This should be at the top. Women LOVE to make it seem like it's a one way traffic. When they do the same thing except never have the integrity to admit to it.
Because we are interested but don't want to make a move because we are scared of rejection or looking like a creep.
I am assuming you mean when a guy isn't in a relationship with said woman.
Edit: Staring for a while is weird but glancing frequently is a sign of nerves.
Staring because they find you attractive, dont say anything because of the fear of approaching/rejection. I think women massively under estimate how hard it is for most men to chalk up the courage to do that.
That’s both really sad and really cute. It does take courage, but anybody of any gender who would be an asshole while saying they aren’t interested is the problem, not the person asking. Most women would be flattered even if it happens that they don’t say yes.
Edit: providing the approacher is respectful and not smothering, of course!
You can and will. We women are just people like you and generally we all want the same things in the end. It’s just finding someone compatible who is in the same stage romantically as you are/ want to be.
Awww, I was half just being funny but, man, I have to try now. Thank you for your kind words. A rarity on the internet.
Also, just wanted to say this. I saw several, uh, bitter responses to your post (the 'well, if I approach a woman I'll be called a creep' ones). My apologies on their behalf. I think a lot of guys these days are confused, unsure, a bit lost, especially with these kinds of things. We're told all the things we shouldn't do, but not really what we should do, you know? There aren't any clear guidelines or mentors or even good examples to follow anymore. It feels like all we got is frickin Andrew Tate, bleghh.
That can lead to a lot of frustration and, yeah, bitterness, especially with the loneliness epidemic going on and all. My apologies, again.
A mix of 3 reasons, at least for me.
1. Social anxiety. I'd like to talk to you, but I suck at it. Also, having anxiety isn't fun.
2. Very low chance that anything comes from it for one reason or another. It's just not worth the time, energy, or anxiety.
3. Many women have stated that they feel objectified, creeped out, or even threatened by some men approaching them. This sentiment is always in the back of my mind, and I try to respect it. I read the room, and if a woman gives me any reason to believe that my approach would make her feel as described, I won't do it.
3 is just certain neurotic women online. If you are respectful and can read signals when she’s not interested it’s fine.
Also OP describes as demisexual so maybe better off meeting people through hobbies or common interests could help
Did you miss the last 25 years where women have told men to STOP approaching them in public because it’s not welcome or appreciated.
Well….we listened! Which is a good thing.
I guess we missed the part that you only meant the guys you didn’t want to approach you.
You may need to do the approaching now.
And it's now the same women crying that they can't find anyone. Good. Women have made it so hard to approach or talk to them that myself and many other men no longer bother.
Or she isn’t interested and lies about having a BF. Gotta love when that happens. I get why (it’s easier to lie) but still like I handle rejection well. Why do annoying shitty guys have to ruin it for the rest of us lol
Eventually I stopped caring whether them saying they have a boyfriend is true or not. It’s 50/50. But either way, the fact of the matter is if she’s not trying to move forward with me, on to the next
I understand that but just because something's difficult does not make it acceptable to start lying. Somewhere along the line we have lost the dignity that kept people from doing this kind of nasty behavior before. If you do this kind of thing, you are a liar. That's what you are, you lie.
Noted! I'd be happy not to lie if men respect the "not interested". Usually it's followed up by "why not" where I pull out the pretend BF card, some men don't even respect that.
There are 8 billion people on Earth right now and you're expecting all 4 billion of the other half to act in a particular way. It's not going to happen.
There's always going to be men who won't respect boundaries. This has never changed throughout all of history.
Somehow now, it's acceptable to start lying instead of dealing with a inconvenience or simply having to be honest with somebody or give them information that they can use to improve themselves.
Because of the same reasoning, men now have to assume that the vast majority of women are dishonest and lie whenever they feel it's convenient.
I think we can all agree this is not working.
Ha, somehow, you're making (some) mens inability to accept no as an answer, into women's fault. Have you ever been followed by a person you've turned down? Felt unsafe with them following because they are bigger and stronger than you? Men need to do better so women don't feel like they need to lie.
You are completely missing my point, seemingly on purpose.
Something you have to understand before this interaction even starts is that you are far more likely to be approached by a creepy and overly confident man who won't accept no as an answer in the first place.
You see, men have been told for the last 20 years that its completely unacceptable to approach a woman in any regard, especially relating to dating, on anywhere besides dating apps.
Even if not told directly they have been told through negative interactions when simply trying to talk to women in their day-to-day lives. So the decent man that actually give a shit about your feelings and opinions have stopped interacting with you.
When I say you, I mean women on a mass scale, maybe you're perfectly okay with it but men as a whole have been told it's not appropriate to approach a woman at any time ever. And if they don't listen to this they are ostracized.
If you feel that I'm blaming women for this, it's because I am. They are the gatekeepers when it comes to relationships and sex and everything else in this regard. It literally cannot be anyone else who makes these large social changes because no one else has the power to do so.
Even if you're not interested in dating these men who approach you, the least you can do is be honest with them and tell them why you aren't interested. If you never do this and no one ever does then they're going to continue this behavior over and over until the end of God damn time.
I genuinely don't know how women expect men to be better if they have absolutely zero information to work with. They will never know what they're doing wrong and they will keep being more and more frustrated and continue to be more and more forceful with their approaches. It's a never-ending loop and it's not going to work out well. Something has got to change, come on it's not that hard to understand.
You have no idea how often I stare at someone because I think I should know them. If it’s a woman especially I could be seen as a creep, but I SWEAR I know them from somewhere. The.n I can’t think of where and it drives me up a wall.
I was doing this a week ago. I saw a girl and she felt super familiar but I couldn't place it and even now I'm not sure. So I kept glancing at her which probably came off as creepy. I tried taking the thought out if my head and go about my day but I kept running into her. The only reason I didn't straight up ask if I knew her from somewhere is that it sounds like a come on and that seemed creepy so I had no idea what to do.
Personally I don’t even bother unless they initiate contact first. Not trying to get labeled a weirdo or a creep, it’s not worth my career and life to try to shoot my shot if worst case scenario I’m going to get stereotyped and have them freak out for some reason, slim chance but still too risky. I think the whole “me too” movement screwed a lot of men up in regards to approaching women (I’ve heard some fucked up stories from female colleagues though so I kind of understand).
Often, In a interested to “get to know me” way idk, I’m autistic so I can’t read people very well so I talk to them like any other human being I interact with. Often comments about what I’m wearing cause I wear alot of black metal t shirts so I guess it helps start the topic lol.
I wouldn’t think this would come as a surprise but, we probably think you’re attractive but don’t think there’s even a shot of the return (assuming you’re talking about guys who stare but look away when you look back)
Yup. If you're attractive enough to catch my eye, you're attractive enough to catch someone else's eye, too, and you ain't gonna pick *me* (nor do I blame you).
I’ve been married for a good while so from someone that was talking to girls back in the 80’s and early 90’s with a lot of success I read on different sights how most guys nowadays are afraid to talk to girls and how a lot of girls are extremely rude and mean to guys if they even look their way I don’t blame these guys. So ladies chill out a little I mean if the guys a jerk hell yeah put him in his place but if you can see the guys nervous or he doesn’t have confidence just let him down easy maybe even chat him up for a minute after you let him know you’re available. I mean have a heart. Now guys you’re gonna have to put yourselves out there and understand that they don’t owe you anything and it’s okay if they’re not interested. Just don’t take it personal and move on. There’s no shame in trying only regret in missed opportunities. Also guys read the room. Pay attention without staring and you can get a feel if the girl you’re interested in open to meeting someone new and face your fears. They’re people just like you no better no worse if she’s a jerk just tell her have a good night and walk away knowing you dodged a bullet.
Sorry OP I’ve never been one to stare if a girl caught my attention like that I went up and talk to them but I would say more than likely guys are staring at you because you’re hot and they’re afraid to talk to you
Search for "why men don't approach women anymore" on YouTube. There are countless videos about this these days. Modern real life dating is broken. Women say they don't want to be approached, call men creeps, destroy their self confidence, upload stories to the internet and then they wonder why men don't approach women anymore. Of course men still look at women because that's hard coded into most men. Otherwise humans would go extinct.
Ok, so as everyone said, we're scared. And it painfully true. But then I once had a girl approach me and still I kinda avoided it because..I'm dumb and still was scared.
"Should I tell her she has a giant spider on her shoulder? Let me overthink the thousand ways that interaction can go wrong..."
But seriously, men are constantly told to never approach women anywhere for anything.
As for me, I ignore all those dating rules. Who made the rules anyway? Why are they an authority on how dating is supposed to work? "Wait three days before you call them back." "You're required to spend x amount on a first date." "They need to have social media " (This dating advice sponsored by Facebook, give us your data)
Nah, I do whatever I want and it works out well enough. I just use common sense and I don't be an asshole.
Because we like someone and try to get the nerve to talk to them, but the feeling of coming off creepy prevents us. Or how we're told all the time not to approach women ever.. so we look, hoping they see it and approach us. At least for me...
Question for girls:
Do you prefer guys JUST staring at you (no cat calling, no stalking, no weird signals just a couple of glances here and there) or said random guy going at you to make you lose 5 minutes of your time with a conversation where you will end up inevitably rejecting him and just waiting for the time he shuts up and leaves you be PLUS a big probability he will make you more uncomfortable than just looking?
You got your answer
>inb4 "But I love talking to random strangers hitting on me!"
No you don't, trust me. If you don't find them attractive you don't. Maybe even if you find them slightly attractive it could be the wrong situation for them to try.
You might think you do like it but you won't .
He might like you trying figure you out rather your playing games or your worth his efforts to pursue you if he been around quite awhile and hasn't made move to show he likes you then probably just weird alot weirdos in today's time but don't take it this as solid form of advice just because someone looks and stares at us can for any number of reasons such guy doesn't really know you and you just look filmar to him
Attracted / drawn to / curious of features either face or body and for good or bad reasons. Im a man and I sometimes get looked at super hard by women but in my case its because im ugly af and people are just drawn to it out of curiosity. If I look at a women its for the above mentioned reasons. No need to approach because 1) high chance of being labeled a creep (ugly) 2) im not going to tell someone theyre ugly or beautiful. I look for me lol
Sometimes it’s better to just catch a good long look and appreciate the beauty, then walk away and leave it to the wind. But I have a counter question, would you prefer someone approach you if he caught you looking back?
Cuz women are terrifying. We're probably going through all the scenarios in our head about what's gonna happen if we talk to her. Will she bite my head off like a praying mantis, will she shoot me down in the most savage way possible making me question my own existence, she definitely won't politely tell me she's not interested, that's for sure.
Because the number of times I've been denied is too much.
I'd rather not have anything than have to deal with rejection again.
I need to give myself some dignity.
1. She probably is in a relationship already.
2. Nowadays you don't just get rejected, you get rejected and get called a creep/werido for approaching a woman.
At work I've had multiple women stare & not say anything.
At work I've had women literally wave at me as I'm going about my business BUT never say anything.
My conclusion is neither party wants to make the 1st move.
The creep factor. I shoot my shots sometimes, but N O O N E wants to look like a creep going up to you. It's not the fact, that I (I assume others as well) don't have the courage, it's the fact, that I don't want to get called a creep or some abuser. It's not easy for us in this case.
Simple. Because women nowadays automatically label ANY man they deem unattractive as a creep. So most men just give glances but don't do shit about it because they don't want to risk another of those glass shatterings of their self esteem.
Problem comes from those women. It would be so much easier if women would respond with something lighthearted, with a smile, like " While I really appreciate your courage coming to me and approaching me, and the compliment, I'll have to decline. I'm sorry but I'm not interested. "
But most women respond with a disgusted face and something around the lines of " Ewww, leave me alone you ugly creep (prick / fuck) ! "
Women don't have a clue how much guts it can take a man to come to them and talk to them. Either they don't have a clue or don't give a damn. Because they never risk anything. So that is a foreign concept to them.
Yeah, I’m starting to see a lot of guys feel this way and I’m sorry that happens to ya’ll. To me, if you have to put someone else down you are an ugly human. It cost nothing to treat people the way you want to be treated.
I'm really glad that at least a woman (well I assume you are by your speech) understands that. If I can at least get the message to one woman, I feel I somehow made a difference.
But this, should be widespread. While I understand there's men who won't take no for an answer, will go ballistic or even predatory in some cases, it's not the case for every single one of us, and y'all women really need to stop putting all eggs in the same basket.
Ofc some men are unattractive, but y'all can say you're not interested without saying bluntly they're ugly, and not take a bigger shot at their self esteem, as rejection already stings bad for most of us (not my case, as I learnt to let rejection leak on me like water on a duck's feathers). But a man that takes his whole courage to approach a woman is already bad enough for him to get rejected, he doesn't need to get welcomed with a disgusted face and a rejection line like go hit the bricks.
Really, some women are REALLY cruel, especially emotionally speaking. Sometimes way worse than we men are.
Well, I kinda use different terminology. I know it’ll sound weird but I think there’s a different between a woman/female and man/male. The difference is their emotional and mental stability. I think we all need to listen and try to understand each other. I know not everyone will be able to accept that kind of conversation due to the terminology that I stated above. One last thing, true beauty comes from within. If their shell is pretty but if their heart is ugly. Then they’re ugly.
I cannot agree more with ye, even though I didn't think one bit about your terminology. But to be perfectly honest, it makes sense to me. I consider myself a man, because I have that emotional stability. And males tend to be more primal, therefore the emotional stability is somewhat lacking. I get it. And it makes sense. Good point.
Just because we like what we see or observe her to get a glimpse of character doesn't mean we want to approach her. People often take a statue approach... look but don't touch out of respect
To be completely honest, I think do it for different reasons. 1, you are attractive to them, 2, your presences, 3, undressing you with their eyes, 4, zoning out, or 5, you look familiar.
I had a coworker who would eye f\*\*k me in the hallways for a solid two years. He was on the apps so I knew he was single. He would stare into my eyes and then look me up and down. The latter part was almost as if he couldn't stop himself. I saw him out in the wild while I was out with a friend and he was with a woman. Also did it that time as well. I always thought he was "too hot" for me. The woman he was with wasn't necessarily more attractive than I was. After that, I noticed he wasn't on the apps anymore and he started doing the staring less, but he was still doing it once in a while. I have no freaking idea what that was about. End of story.
I do! If I notice a cute woman, or ever a just a woman notice me with a shy smile. I say “Hi” smile and give them a nod. They always keep smiling and it makes me feel good that they feel good. But its hard to conjure a topic out of nowhere. So it’s just a nice exchange between adults and I go on with my day feeling a little better about myself.
‐ I see a girl I like
- I give her a clear stare with a light smile
- if she smiled back, means I got the green light to talk to her
- if she didn't smile back after a clear exchange of eye contacts for 3 times, than she's just not into it and I move on
Admiring from a distance and trying to sum up the courage to approach her but then she looks a bit mean and might just violate you so staring is just easier then you go about your business
Sometimes I stare cause I'm interested in them and want to talk to them. I've only recently started trying to begin conversations and ask them for dates so.
The guy is probably looking at the girl while thinking “ok do I go up to her? Will I be bothering her or creep her out?” He’s thinking about whether or not to doing something. He probably doesn’t mean to stare but he’s lost in thought. For some of us.
* You might be pretty far from my sight and I'm figuring out if you're attractive or not.
* You aren't a photo, seeing how you carry yourself could be a turn-on or turn-off.
* (Despite some women hating this) You are most attractive when you smile, maybe I'm waiting for that opportunity.
* It's actually interesting to see how women respond to when they catch my eyes, especially if it's in a non-social setting. When I'm caught, I'll turn away out of false-shame but a passing glance at you again can tell me if you take it well. If so, I'd be more inclined to approach, but final decision to do so is contingent on many factors.
25% We are attracted but don't want to take the risk of rejection (or being labelled a creep).
75% Our eyes are attracted to the closest natural wonder, but we are lost in thought about what to eat tonight (or something inane like that).
Trying to figure out if she'd be interested. Something like a wave to come over would be great.
We're basically looking for permission to join you xD
Otherwise were not going to risk being slapped with a #metoo
In the gym we don’t wanna be on a pervert tiktok 🤣
Outside we just deal with the stuff and because of feminism etc it is almost a liability to try and shoot your shot if you are not a complete individual yet.
Well alot thing go into this we see a beautiful women and we are like wow I could never ask her out she out of my league also we don't want to be rejected so that another reason. Or if u are with a group of friends an it guys an girls we don't know if u are already taken and u man with u
It could be something different a guy is looking at. You may be in the way of the window or screen with an interesting view. I'm very asocial but I do try to say hey or make minor small talk if it feels like I was looking or staring too much. There's an easy way to fix it though if you're not happy with a guy you believe is interested not talking- basically everyone will respond when you talk to them.
This week I noticed a new woman at the gym. Damn she was hot. We matched gaze a couple times, but she was with her friend and I was in the middle of belaying a climber, so I couldnt say anything.
If I see her again I will for sure introduce myself.
Fear of rejection. Social awkwardness. And lastly bad experiences as when you approach a girl and you are rich and successful you are charming and you know how to claim what you want in life. Other wise you are a creep. Understand a boys feelings when tries in his first steps to try to approach someone that he really likes and have feelings. Turn down with a brutal and embarrassing way. How do you believe he recovers for that?
For me, it's just an attraction thing. If I find a woman attractive. I would stare like "Wow she's beautiful" and then keep it moving. There's no reason for me to talk to her. Especially the way dating has changed. I'm good
1) Cuz deposits in the spanking are all cheaper and going out and doing stuffs
2) sometimes, if u make eye contact alone, it can be more effective then I pick up line or something of that sort.
3) studying future victims possibly
4) some men might be thinking boy she works amazing in that skirt I wonder if I could pull it off. I think I look it in purple?
5) I wonder how much that one would fetch on the black market?
6) in his head "God, I fucking hate that *$&#@. God... You know I don't believe in you but if you're up there smite her with all your might!"
That seem like some pretty likely possibilities I could probably thank you more
Because we can’t tell if you’re looking at us because we’re looking at you or if you’re looking at us cause you’re interested. If you don’t smile or wink or wave we’ll never be able to tell the difference. Next time this happens to you and you’re interested in him then smile, wink, or wave and I can almost guarantee he’ll get the message and come say hi if he’s interested
Social media has shown us a lot of women’s perspective on them getting approached by men and it doesn’t give most men in this era the best feeling to do it anymore.
I don't know rejection isn't as bad as we think it is, but it's embarrassing being wrong, more than unlikely to be right because you could just be cordial and polite. I don't I've ever been right, when we made an image of you in our head we've already caught feeling and it will never work because now we can't be ourselves, now we have to play a game with ourselves and pretend to be something we're not. There's so many possibilities we're going through and we've only been staring at you for two seconds, it's not worth it, whenever you really actually want a girl it never works.
Sometimes, if they're wearing a cool shirt but they're too far away, and I'm busy doing something like eating at a restaurant, I can't help but admire them and their choice of frontal attire.
Well if they are smart they are trying to get a female to make eye contact with them in an attempt to get an indicator of interest that they may approach. Whether they ever do or not is up to them.
Because i assume they're just like the ones we've already encountered and had zero interest in, or luck with at that. Either that or I'm just insecure about it sometimes and don't want to be rejected that day. Sometimes Im down to give it a shot, sometimes I just wanna move on with my day.
It could be many things...
1- They're shy
2- They're just looking
3- They're scared/intimidated by women
4- They're just creeping
5- They don't want to approach women and be labeled a creep
That last one happens a bunch if you're not an attractive dude
(M63) OP, you think a guy is looking at you super hard. Like what does 'Super Hard' even mean? Oh, you mean 'staring' at you?
Maybe because we guys have an imagination. And we are imagining you with me on some Black-Sanded beach.. The water was clear, and dolphins chatting away. Fairies flying by casting our every wish, and an ample supply of food for the Unioncorn you made me buy because... Hold up.
If a guy is staring at you and never approaches you, why don't you approach and ask him why he is looking at you with such intense interest?
Or just maybe... You want responses here to boost you're hot..or must be.
Anything you say or do, can and will be used against you!
So if I'm not mistaken, I think it's called pleading the 5th.
Jokes aside, From my perspective, I'm not very shy and I don't have a problem in having a conversation with a woman. But this being said, there is the occasional woman that will just put my brain in a short-circuit and literally leave me speechless, while being unable to take my eyes off of her.
Def just a fear of being seen as a creep or weird in general. That's not exclusively the reason, but it's 💯 the main reason... For me personally, I don't even look at women I find attractive for this exact reason 💀 Can't be seen as anything if you never do anything 😎 *Cries in self-made loneliness*
Had a few i felt i could have gotten away with aproaching without a hitch. I was either focused on something else and gave up the chase or i just didn't have the energy to pursue it and enjoyed the view.
In my case, it's because She does not speak english. We've crossed paths numerous times over the past couple weeks, Give each other a great big smile and hello. Was thinking about writing a note having a translated to english and giving it to her. But i'm sure if that's too creepy
I don’t have the nerve to approach and bother a woman like that. Not that I don’t have the confidence, I just feel like I would be bothering her and she probably doesn’t want to be pestered like that.
Honestly these days, if I dont get obvious signals of interest back I wont make a move. Last couple of times it would seem as though Ive approached girls who are either afraid of me or are traumatized and jump through weird hoops to decline my number or snap
To answer your question, this happened to me like 2 weeks ago, had this class and saw this girl that always sat by herself, I thought she was pretty and caught her looking at me a few times too, so on the last class as she was leaving the room I walked up next to her, I said hello, she looked at me like she saw a ghost, said “sorry I have a boyfriend” stopped dead in her tracks, walked around me and bolted… I couldn’t get more than a “Hey” in…
We don’t know what to say.
We get nervous.
Speaking to females for a lot of men don’t come naturally.
We are manically trying to think of something clever to say because we want to stand out but then the whole process causes us to freeze, stutter, chicken out, etc. At this point it’s easy to give up because we’re no longer stressed about it once we make that decision.
Alphas don’t have this problem because they are self confident (women are turned on by that C word) and don’t give a shit of what the outcome will be because they will live to fight another day and talk to other women.
For the rest of us who don’t have as many chances we want to pounce on the opportunities that we have but we fuck it up because our minds are a mess.
It’s all about mental health, confidence, self-belief. We basically have to learn how to pick ourselves up after a rejection.
Some handle rejection better than others. Some men are more sensitive than others and take it harder and can cause mental trauma.
Some men need to learn it isn’t about the outcome; it’s about looking forward to the process.
For me I’m not a natural talker. I’m more about actions but unfortunately women want a conversationalist who can sweet talk them anytime, anyplace,anywhere. Women say they don’t like games but they’re full of shit.
Talking to women is a game that comes to some men easy and others more difficult.
They want us to work for it.
I hate games, I hate manipulation, etc but when dealing with the opposite sex you have to learn how to be someone else.
And then some women would be happy if a guy just came up to them and said hello….but how would we know based on looks if that lady was that type?
That’s why you have to learn not to give a damn about the outcome.
They're intimidated. Maybe you or some other woman is so hot to the point of a guy not being able to stop looking but he is afraid to come and talk to you.
Something that I know is, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I know not everyone is going to be my cup of tea. I don’t always see rejection as a bad thing. Sometimes it’s protection.
I see this women at my gym most of the time and she started looking at me so now I look at her to make sure she’s not looking at me. Guess what our eyes meet and then I probably come off as perve.
Because for some reason not dating her because I didn't ask is different than not dating her because she said no, even though both results are me not dating her.
They stare so much, imagining what could be. But never approach bc of the assumed high chance of a rejection.
As a guy, I find it creepy but as a woman if you know the man just doesn’t have the courage to approach just brush it off and carry on with your day, no point in escalating things…
You can just go up greet her, introduce yourself and say I find you really attractive with a smile.
And ask what are you planning to do with this information??
Handing her your phone for her number
I understand that. I’m very old school but I’ll start or have a conversation with anyone. But approaching a guy asking him out naw. I’m not doing that.
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Because we scared of women and don’t want to be a creep
I have a mustache. I'm not gonna risk it.
Lmao
El Gwapo has no cojones to talk to El Maldita
Facts. I can relate.
🤣
Staring is way creepier than saying hi 👋
We’re considered creeps either way 🤷🏻♂️
I’m an awkward weirdo so we all have our things lol. Just go with it
I rather look in silence making her think I am a creep, than say anything and confirm it.
You my boy, have redefined the Jedi mind-trick with that statement. Wow.
Usually I do but I’m a bit volcel these days.
the staring part is a reflex or an instinct. You see an attractive woman, your brain shuts off for a couple seconds and then you realize you've been looking at her for like 3 seconds and need to stop. then you look away but on a conscious level you never intended to start an interaction with this person. the gaze is an artifact of dna. and i mean that for real. It happens so automatically and so subconsciously that i do not believe it is a product of social conditioning. it's deep lizard brain.
Idk if that's only a "guy" thing. I have done that in the past subconsciously, when I've had zero interest in interacting with the person I was staring at.
no doubt. women have lizard brains too!
I reckon with him... this only happens sometimes and not every time, you find this girl and you cannot take your eyes off and the next moment she disappears and the whole day its all about her 🤣.
That was so eloquent…and exactly why I’m amazed gay/lez relationships aren’t the norm in the world 🤣 It’s like, women mature faster, are biologically ‘prime’ for kids exactly when guys seem compelled to fuck anything that has a pulse - a Peter Pan phase im beginning to believe never ends. Sigh… Women want to be approached by guys, but not like a piece of slimy meat. As a chick I can say that most women prefer directness/clarity but with smooth and endearing delivery (ie. one could say “that dress is butt ugly” or rather, “that dress is interesting”, 😂) HOWEVER - and this is to the ladies creeping on here like me - women MUST reject men better!!! I’ve seen girls absolutely destroy a guy who did have the good temerity to ask a girl out, only for her to slag him off super mean-girl like. That shit is just Ill bred narcissism and women should be way more mindful in saying they’re not interested.
It is that’s why we don’t just staring, we also look left and right and do it indirectly so it won’t make us a creep. Also the confidence too I don’t have that
That's why I avert my eyes
That's fine. I assume you think I'm a creep anyway.
You're not supposed to notice lol
This.
SO way creepier! Damn
this
Creep you mean Waldo type looking male who persistent stalks a woman after a date with him after she told him several times she isn't interested
Same reason why women do it
Foreal lol
This should be at the top. Women LOVE to make it seem like it's a one way traffic. When they do the same thing except never have the integrity to admit to it.
When a woman does it I sure as hell am going there and telling her hi how r u
Because we are interested but don't want to make a move because we are scared of rejection or looking like a creep. I am assuming you mean when a guy isn't in a relationship with said woman. Edit: Staring for a while is weird but glancing frequently is a sign of nerves.
Staring because they find you attractive, dont say anything because of the fear of approaching/rejection. I think women massively under estimate how hard it is for most men to chalk up the courage to do that.
That’s both really sad and really cute. It does take courage, but anybody of any gender who would be an asshole while saying they aren’t interested is the problem, not the person asking. Most women would be flattered even if it happens that they don’t say yes. Edit: providing the approacher is respectful and not smothering, of course!
You give me hope. One day, I will approach a woman. I believe.
You can and will. We women are just people like you and generally we all want the same things in the end. It’s just finding someone compatible who is in the same stage romantically as you are/ want to be.
Awww, I was half just being funny but, man, I have to try now. Thank you for your kind words. A rarity on the internet. Also, just wanted to say this. I saw several, uh, bitter responses to your post (the 'well, if I approach a woman I'll be called a creep' ones). My apologies on their behalf. I think a lot of guys these days are confused, unsure, a bit lost, especially with these kinds of things. We're told all the things we shouldn't do, but not really what we should do, you know? There aren't any clear guidelines or mentors or even good examples to follow anymore. It feels like all we got is frickin Andrew Tate, bleghh. That can lead to a lot of frustration and, yeah, bitterness, especially with the loneliness epidemic going on and all. My apologies, again.
A mix of 3 reasons, at least for me. 1. Social anxiety. I'd like to talk to you, but I suck at it. Also, having anxiety isn't fun. 2. Very low chance that anything comes from it for one reason or another. It's just not worth the time, energy, or anxiety. 3. Many women have stated that they feel objectified, creeped out, or even threatened by some men approaching them. This sentiment is always in the back of my mind, and I try to respect it. I read the room, and if a woman gives me any reason to believe that my approach would make her feel as described, I won't do it.
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You are right
3 is just certain neurotic women online. If you are respectful and can read signals when she’s not interested it’s fine. Also OP describes as demisexual so maybe better off meeting people through hobbies or common interests could help
Realy bad if you are like me and can't read signals at all😅
Did you miss the last 25 years where women have told men to STOP approaching them in public because it’s not welcome or appreciated. Well….we listened! Which is a good thing. I guess we missed the part that you only meant the guys you didn’t want to approach you. You may need to do the approaching now.
And it's now the same women crying that they can't find anyone. Good. Women have made it so hard to approach or talk to them that myself and many other men no longer bother.
She probably won't be interested or she already has a boyfriend
Or she isn’t interested and lies about having a BF. Gotta love when that happens. I get why (it’s easier to lie) but still like I handle rejection well. Why do annoying shitty guys have to ruin it for the rest of us lol
Eventually I stopped caring whether them saying they have a boyfriend is true or not. It’s 50/50. But either way, the fact of the matter is if she’s not trying to move forward with me, on to the next
Indeed. I’m over it lol I am in a happy relationship with a loving woman, but it definitely made dating like walking through a mine field.
Yeah I'm not a fan of all the lying. Really don't understand why it became socially acceptable to be a liar. Everyone seems to do it constantly now.
Because if we tell a guy we're not interested we assume that would hurt him more, and we'd get more pushback, than just saying we're already taken 😊
I understand that but just because something's difficult does not make it acceptable to start lying. Somewhere along the line we have lost the dignity that kept people from doing this kind of nasty behavior before. If you do this kind of thing, you are a liar. That's what you are, you lie.
Noted! I'd be happy not to lie if men respect the "not interested". Usually it's followed up by "why not" where I pull out the pretend BF card, some men don't even respect that.
There are 8 billion people on Earth right now and you're expecting all 4 billion of the other half to act in a particular way. It's not going to happen. There's always going to be men who won't respect boundaries. This has never changed throughout all of history. Somehow now, it's acceptable to start lying instead of dealing with a inconvenience or simply having to be honest with somebody or give them information that they can use to improve themselves. Because of the same reasoning, men now have to assume that the vast majority of women are dishonest and lie whenever they feel it's convenient. I think we can all agree this is not working.
Ha, somehow, you're making (some) mens inability to accept no as an answer, into women's fault. Have you ever been followed by a person you've turned down? Felt unsafe with them following because they are bigger and stronger than you? Men need to do better so women don't feel like they need to lie.
Literally. There was just a girl who got stabbed for rejecting a guy. Lying is safer. It's not about being a liar or not it's about our safety.
You are completely missing my point, seemingly on purpose. Something you have to understand before this interaction even starts is that you are far more likely to be approached by a creepy and overly confident man who won't accept no as an answer in the first place. You see, men have been told for the last 20 years that its completely unacceptable to approach a woman in any regard, especially relating to dating, on anywhere besides dating apps. Even if not told directly they have been told through negative interactions when simply trying to talk to women in their day-to-day lives. So the decent man that actually give a shit about your feelings and opinions have stopped interacting with you. When I say you, I mean women on a mass scale, maybe you're perfectly okay with it but men as a whole have been told it's not appropriate to approach a woman at any time ever. And if they don't listen to this they are ostracized. If you feel that I'm blaming women for this, it's because I am. They are the gatekeepers when it comes to relationships and sex and everything else in this regard. It literally cannot be anyone else who makes these large social changes because no one else has the power to do so. Even if you're not interested in dating these men who approach you, the least you can do is be honest with them and tell them why you aren't interested. If you never do this and no one ever does then they're going to continue this behavior over and over until the end of God damn time. I genuinely don't know how women expect men to be better if they have absolutely zero information to work with. They will never know what they're doing wrong and they will keep being more and more frustrated and continue to be more and more forceful with their approaches. It's a never-ending loop and it's not going to work out well. Something has got to change, come on it's not that hard to understand.
Bc A) we find them attractive. B) we think we recognize them. C) we just don’t want to get rejected in public in front of everyone
You have no idea how often I stare at someone because I think I should know them. If it’s a woman especially I could be seen as a creep, but I SWEAR I know them from somewhere. The.n I can’t think of where and it drives me up a wall.
Facts like it bugs me also also. D) sometimes we guys just zone out and like day dream so it looks like we staring but we not
I was doing this a week ago. I saw a girl and she felt super familiar but I couldn't place it and even now I'm not sure. So I kept glancing at her which probably came off as creepy. I tried taking the thought out if my head and go about my day but I kept running into her. The only reason I didn't straight up ask if I knew her from somewhere is that it sounds like a come on and that seemed creepy so I had no idea what to do.
Personally I don’t even bother unless they initiate contact first. Not trying to get labeled a weirdo or a creep, it’s not worth my career and life to try to shoot my shot if worst case scenario I’m going to get stereotyped and have them freak out for some reason, slim chance but still too risky. I think the whole “me too” movement screwed a lot of men up in regards to approaching women (I’ve heard some fucked up stories from female colleagues though so I kind of understand).
How often do women initiate contact with you?
Often, In a interested to “get to know me” way idk, I’m autistic so I can’t read people very well so I talk to them like any other human being I interact with. Often comments about what I’m wearing cause I wear alot of black metal t shirts so I guess it helps start the topic lol.
I wouldn’t think this would come as a surprise but, we probably think you’re attractive but don’t think there’s even a shot of the return (assuming you’re talking about guys who stare but look away when you look back)
Yup. If you're attractive enough to catch my eye, you're attractive enough to catch someone else's eye, too, and you ain't gonna pick *me* (nor do I blame you).
This right fucking here man
You're attractive but out of our league and we don't want to bother you.
1. They’re pretty and were too scared to hit on her 2. Legit just zoned out and they happen to be the space our face was directed at
I’ve been married for a good while so from someone that was talking to girls back in the 80’s and early 90’s with a lot of success I read on different sights how most guys nowadays are afraid to talk to girls and how a lot of girls are extremely rude and mean to guys if they even look their way I don’t blame these guys. So ladies chill out a little I mean if the guys a jerk hell yeah put him in his place but if you can see the guys nervous or he doesn’t have confidence just let him down easy maybe even chat him up for a minute after you let him know you’re available. I mean have a heart. Now guys you’re gonna have to put yourselves out there and understand that they don’t owe you anything and it’s okay if they’re not interested. Just don’t take it personal and move on. There’s no shame in trying only regret in missed opportunities. Also guys read the room. Pay attention without staring and you can get a feel if the girl you’re interested in open to meeting someone new and face your fears. They’re people just like you no better no worse if she’s a jerk just tell her have a good night and walk away knowing you dodged a bullet. Sorry OP I’ve never been one to stare if a girl caught my attention like that I went up and talk to them but I would say more than likely guys are staring at you because you’re hot and they’re afraid to talk to you
>There’s no shame in trying Ohhhh yes there is lol.
Search for "why men don't approach women anymore" on YouTube. There are countless videos about this these days. Modern real life dating is broken. Women say they don't want to be approached, call men creeps, destroy their self confidence, upload stories to the internet and then they wonder why men don't approach women anymore. Of course men still look at women because that's hard coded into most men. Otherwise humans would go extinct.
I'm not good at talking to women and I don't want to be seen as a creep
Ok, so as everyone said, we're scared. And it painfully true. But then I once had a girl approach me and still I kinda avoided it because..I'm dumb and still was scared.
"Should I tell her she has a giant spider on her shoulder? Let me overthink the thousand ways that interaction can go wrong..." But seriously, men are constantly told to never approach women anywhere for anything. As for me, I ignore all those dating rules. Who made the rules anyway? Why are they an authority on how dating is supposed to work? "Wait three days before you call them back." "You're required to spend x amount on a first date." "They need to have social media " (This dating advice sponsored by Facebook, give us your data) Nah, I do whatever I want and it works out well enough. I just use common sense and I don't be an asshole.
Totally agree 👍
Because we like someone and try to get the nerve to talk to them, but the feeling of coming off creepy prevents us. Or how we're told all the time not to approach women ever.. so we look, hoping they see it and approach us. At least for me...
Same reason you would
To be honest if I look I smile and speak.
When I speak I get rejected so I just don’t anymore.
Many men have chosen to stop trying or have given up completely by now.
Because the chance of rejection is 99%
Question for girls: Do you prefer guys JUST staring at you (no cat calling, no stalking, no weird signals just a couple of glances here and there) or said random guy going at you to make you lose 5 minutes of your time with a conversation where you will end up inevitably rejecting him and just waiting for the time he shuts up and leaves you be PLUS a big probability he will make you more uncomfortable than just looking? You got your answer >inb4 "But I love talking to random strangers hitting on me!" No you don't, trust me. If you don't find them attractive you don't. Maybe even if you find them slightly attractive it could be the wrong situation for them to try. You might think you do like it but you won't .
He might like you trying figure you out rather your playing games or your worth his efforts to pursue you if he been around quite awhile and hasn't made move to show he likes you then probably just weird alot weirdos in today's time but don't take it this as solid form of advice just because someone looks and stares at us can for any number of reasons such guy doesn't really know you and you just look filmar to him
For me i couldnt remember this girls name
😂 say hey you
feel like thats pretty rude no?
Ya I was joking
We're just admiring the view from afar. 😌
Attracted / drawn to / curious of features either face or body and for good or bad reasons. Im a man and I sometimes get looked at super hard by women but in my case its because im ugly af and people are just drawn to it out of curiosity. If I look at a women its for the above mentioned reasons. No need to approach because 1) high chance of being labeled a creep (ugly) 2) im not going to tell someone theyre ugly or beautiful. I look for me lol
Sometimes it’s better to just catch a good long look and appreciate the beauty, then walk away and leave it to the wind. But I have a counter question, would you prefer someone approach you if he caught you looking back?
We feel attraction but choose not to act on it
Cuz women are terrifying. We're probably going through all the scenarios in our head about what's gonna happen if we talk to her. Will she bite my head off like a praying mantis, will she shoot me down in the most savage way possible making me question my own existence, she definitely won't politely tell me she's not interested, that's for sure.
Because the number of times I've been denied is too much. I'd rather not have anything than have to deal with rejection again. I need to give myself some dignity.
I find you attractive but I have a mirror in my home
Same reason why women look and say nothing: fear of rejection
You know how they say "the worst she can say is no"? That's a lie
1. She probably is in a relationship already. 2. Nowadays you don't just get rejected, you get rejected and get called a creep/werido for approaching a woman.
At work I've had multiple women stare & not say anything. At work I've had women literally wave at me as I'm going about my business BUT never say anything. My conclusion is neither party wants to make the 1st move.
She's probably attractive
We like what we see but fear rejection
The creep factor. I shoot my shots sometimes, but N O O N E wants to look like a creep going up to you. It's not the fact, that I (I assume others as well) don't have the courage, it's the fact, that I don't want to get called a creep or some abuser. It's not easy for us in this case.
Simple. Because women nowadays automatically label ANY man they deem unattractive as a creep. So most men just give glances but don't do shit about it because they don't want to risk another of those glass shatterings of their self esteem. Problem comes from those women. It would be so much easier if women would respond with something lighthearted, with a smile, like " While I really appreciate your courage coming to me and approaching me, and the compliment, I'll have to decline. I'm sorry but I'm not interested. " But most women respond with a disgusted face and something around the lines of " Ewww, leave me alone you ugly creep (prick / fuck) ! " Women don't have a clue how much guts it can take a man to come to them and talk to them. Either they don't have a clue or don't give a damn. Because they never risk anything. So that is a foreign concept to them.
Yeah, I’m starting to see a lot of guys feel this way and I’m sorry that happens to ya’ll. To me, if you have to put someone else down you are an ugly human. It cost nothing to treat people the way you want to be treated.
I'm really glad that at least a woman (well I assume you are by your speech) understands that. If I can at least get the message to one woman, I feel I somehow made a difference. But this, should be widespread. While I understand there's men who won't take no for an answer, will go ballistic or even predatory in some cases, it's not the case for every single one of us, and y'all women really need to stop putting all eggs in the same basket. Ofc some men are unattractive, but y'all can say you're not interested without saying bluntly they're ugly, and not take a bigger shot at their self esteem, as rejection already stings bad for most of us (not my case, as I learnt to let rejection leak on me like water on a duck's feathers). But a man that takes his whole courage to approach a woman is already bad enough for him to get rejected, he doesn't need to get welcomed with a disgusted face and a rejection line like go hit the bricks. Really, some women are REALLY cruel, especially emotionally speaking. Sometimes way worse than we men are.
Well, I kinda use different terminology. I know it’ll sound weird but I think there’s a different between a woman/female and man/male. The difference is their emotional and mental stability. I think we all need to listen and try to understand each other. I know not everyone will be able to accept that kind of conversation due to the terminology that I stated above. One last thing, true beauty comes from within. If their shell is pretty but if their heart is ugly. Then they’re ugly.
I cannot agree more with ye, even though I didn't think one bit about your terminology. But to be perfectly honest, it makes sense to me. I consider myself a man, because I have that emotional stability. And males tend to be more primal, therefore the emotional stability is somewhat lacking. I get it. And it makes sense. Good point.
Just because we like what we see or observe her to get a glimpse of character doesn't mean we want to approach her. People often take a statue approach... look but don't touch out of respect
Interested to know your take on it.
To be completely honest, I think do it for different reasons. 1, you are attractive to them, 2, your presences, 3, undressing you with their eyes, 4, zoning out, or 5, you look familiar.
Don’t want to be creepy, would rather not say anything than walk up to every girl I think is looking at me too just for her to say “boy bye!” 😂
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Because of how some women see themselves
Someone you know or someone you’re thinking about approaching? Either way I do it when admiring beauty
I had a coworker who would eye f\*\*k me in the hallways for a solid two years. He was on the apps so I knew he was single. He would stare into my eyes and then look me up and down. The latter part was almost as if he couldn't stop himself. I saw him out in the wild while I was out with a friend and he was with a woman. Also did it that time as well. I always thought he was "too hot" for me. The woman he was with wasn't necessarily more attractive than I was. After that, I noticed he wasn't on the apps anymore and he started doing the staring less, but he was still doing it once in a while. I have no freaking idea what that was about. End of story.
> I have no freaking idea what that was about. He stopped being single but still find you attractive ?
I do! If I notice a cute woman, or ever a just a woman notice me with a shy smile. I say “Hi” smile and give them a nod. They always keep smiling and it makes me feel good that they feel good. But its hard to conjure a topic out of nowhere. So it’s just a nice exchange between adults and I go on with my day feeling a little better about myself.
Don't know how to start a konversation, overthinking the scenario or kause she ugly idk😂
‐ I see a girl I like - I give her a clear stare with a light smile - if she smiled back, means I got the green light to talk to her - if she didn't smile back after a clear exchange of eye contacts for 3 times, than she's just not into it and I move on
why do you do it then, do something about it.
Because we're attracted to them so can't help ourselves but look and we believe it's not reciprocated
Admiring from a distance and trying to sum up the courage to approach her but then she looks a bit mean and might just violate you so staring is just easier then you go about your business
Sometimes I stare cause I'm interested in them and want to talk to them. I've only recently started trying to begin conversations and ask them for dates so.
The guy is probably looking at the girl while thinking “ok do I go up to her? Will I be bothering her or creep her out?” He’s thinking about whether or not to doing something. He probably doesn’t mean to stare but he’s lost in thought. For some of us.
* You might be pretty far from my sight and I'm figuring out if you're attractive or not. * You aren't a photo, seeing how you carry yourself could be a turn-on or turn-off. * (Despite some women hating this) You are most attractive when you smile, maybe I'm waiting for that opportunity. * It's actually interesting to see how women respond to when they catch my eyes, especially if it's in a non-social setting. When I'm caught, I'll turn away out of false-shame but a passing glance at you again can tell me if you take it well. If so, I'd be more inclined to approach, but final decision to do so is contingent on many factors.
Cause she's fucking pretty and we're thinking about how we'll never have that.
25% We are attracted but don't want to take the risk of rejection (or being labelled a creep). 75% Our eyes are attracted to the closest natural wonder, but we are lost in thought about what to eat tonight (or something inane like that).
Trying to figure out if she'd be interested. Something like a wave to come over would be great. We're basically looking for permission to join you xD Otherwise were not going to risk being slapped with a #metoo
In the gym we don’t wanna be on a pervert tiktok 🤣 Outside we just deal with the stuff and because of feminism etc it is almost a liability to try and shoot your shot if you are not a complete individual yet.
Social media, it’s made me give up on the idea of dating entirely.
Well alot thing go into this we see a beautiful women and we are like wow I could never ask her out she out of my league also we don't want to be rejected so that another reason. Or if u are with a group of friends an it guys an girls we don't know if u are already taken and u man with u
It could be something different a guy is looking at. You may be in the way of the window or screen with an interesting view. I'm very asocial but I do try to say hey or make minor small talk if it feels like I was looking or staring too much. There's an easy way to fix it though if you're not happy with a guy you believe is interested not talking- basically everyone will respond when you talk to them.
I zone out and sometimes I come back to reality to realize I'm staring really hard
Because making a move on a girl takes effort, risk, energy, and time. Looking is free.
Scared to talk to them. Something caught our eye. Or in my case: 1000 yard stare
This week I noticed a new woman at the gym. Damn she was hot. We matched gaze a couple times, but she was with her friend and I was in the middle of belaying a climber, so I couldnt say anything. If I see her again I will for sure introduce myself.
Fear of rejection. Social awkwardness. And lastly bad experiences as when you approach a girl and you are rich and successful you are charming and you know how to claim what you want in life. Other wise you are a creep. Understand a boys feelings when tries in his first steps to try to approach someone that he really likes and have feelings. Turn down with a brutal and embarrassing way. How do you believe he recovers for that?
For me, it's just an attraction thing. If I find a woman attractive. I would stare like "Wow she's beautiful" and then keep it moving. There's no reason for me to talk to her. Especially the way dating has changed. I'm good
1) Cuz deposits in the spanking are all cheaper and going out and doing stuffs 2) sometimes, if u make eye contact alone, it can be more effective then I pick up line or something of that sort. 3) studying future victims possibly 4) some men might be thinking boy she works amazing in that skirt I wonder if I could pull it off. I think I look it in purple? 5) I wonder how much that one would fetch on the black market? 6) in his head "God, I fucking hate that *$&#@. God... You know I don't believe in you but if you're up there smite her with all your might!" That seem like some pretty likely possibilities I could probably thank you more
Because we can’t tell if you’re looking at us because we’re looking at you or if you’re looking at us cause you’re interested. If you don’t smile or wink or wave we’ll never be able to tell the difference. Next time this happens to you and you’re interested in him then smile, wink, or wave and I can almost guarantee he’ll get the message and come say hi if he’s interested
Social media has shown us a lot of women’s perspective on them getting approached by men and it doesn’t give most men in this era the best feeling to do it anymore.
I don't know rejection isn't as bad as we think it is, but it's embarrassing being wrong, more than unlikely to be right because you could just be cordial and polite. I don't I've ever been right, when we made an image of you in our head we've already caught feeling and it will never work because now we can't be ourselves, now we have to play a game with ourselves and pretend to be something we're not. There's so many possibilities we're going through and we've only been staring at you for two seconds, it's not worth it, whenever you really actually want a girl it never works.
Sometimes, if they're wearing a cool shirt but they're too far away, and I'm busy doing something like eating at a restaurant, I can't help but admire them and their choice of frontal attire.
just because a womans attractive doesn't mean I wanna start some kind relationship with her
Well if they are smart they are trying to get a female to make eye contact with them in an attempt to get an indicator of interest that they may approach. Whether they ever do or not is up to them.
Depends on the setting. We don't want to creeps.
Scared of rejection.
Because I find her attractive and already rejected myself for her.
Because i assume they're just like the ones we've already encountered and had zero interest in, or luck with at that. Either that or I'm just insecure about it sometimes and don't want to be rejected that day. Sometimes Im down to give it a shot, sometimes I just wanna move on with my day.
I think staring is creepy, so i only take a glance at them !!
Because we're nervous, some people can walk up and speak much easier. I struggle to jus go up to someone and speak to them, despite really wanting too
It could be many things... 1- They're shy 2- They're just looking 3- They're scared/intimidated by women 4- They're just creeping 5- They don't want to approach women and be labeled a creep That last one happens a bunch if you're not an attractive dude
(M63) OP, you think a guy is looking at you super hard. Like what does 'Super Hard' even mean? Oh, you mean 'staring' at you? Maybe because we guys have an imagination. And we are imagining you with me on some Black-Sanded beach.. The water was clear, and dolphins chatting away. Fairies flying by casting our every wish, and an ample supply of food for the Unioncorn you made me buy because... Hold up. If a guy is staring at you and never approaches you, why don't you approach and ask him why he is looking at you with such intense interest? Or just maybe... You want responses here to boost you're hot..or must be.
Anything you say or do, can and will be used against you! So if I'm not mistaken, I think it's called pleading the 5th. Jokes aside, From my perspective, I'm not very shy and I don't have a problem in having a conversation with a woman. But this being said, there is the occasional woman that will just put my brain in a short-circuit and literally leave me speechless, while being unable to take my eyes off of her.
Def just a fear of being seen as a creep or weird in general. That's not exclusively the reason, but it's 💯 the main reason... For me personally, I don't even look at women I find attractive for this exact reason 💀 Can't be seen as anything if you never do anything 😎 *Cries in self-made loneliness*
Had a few i felt i could have gotten away with aproaching without a hitch. I was either focused on something else and gave up the chase or i just didn't have the energy to pursue it and enjoyed the view.
Because we are afraid to be rejected.
End up on a youtube short being called a creep and what not
In my case, it's because She does not speak english. We've crossed paths numerous times over the past couple weeks, Give each other a great big smile and hello. Was thinking about writing a note having a translated to english and giving it to her. But i'm sure if that's too creepy
In my case it's more cause I find eye contact intimidating so I accidently tend to overdo it
Fear
Because some women make us regret saying hi
I don’t have the nerve to approach and bother a woman like that. Not that I don’t have the confidence, I just feel like I would be bothering her and she probably doesn’t want to be pestered like that.
We stare because we are super into you. We say nothing because you’re kid is fucking ruthless
Honestly these days, if I dont get obvious signals of interest back I wont make a move. Last couple of times it would seem as though Ive approached girls who are either afraid of me or are traumatized and jump through weird hoops to decline my number or snap
Its primal, as a dude your brain is just wired to scan and look at pretty ladies. But then all the societal baggage engages.
Why do girls wait for the guy to say something?
To answer your question, this happened to me like 2 weeks ago, had this class and saw this girl that always sat by herself, I thought she was pretty and caught her looking at me a few times too, so on the last class as she was leaving the room I walked up next to her, I said hello, she looked at me like she saw a ghost, said “sorry I have a boyfriend” stopped dead in her tracks, walked around me and bolted… I couldn’t get more than a “Hey” in…
We don’t know what to say. We get nervous. Speaking to females for a lot of men don’t come naturally. We are manically trying to think of something clever to say because we want to stand out but then the whole process causes us to freeze, stutter, chicken out, etc. At this point it’s easy to give up because we’re no longer stressed about it once we make that decision. Alphas don’t have this problem because they are self confident (women are turned on by that C word) and don’t give a shit of what the outcome will be because they will live to fight another day and talk to other women. For the rest of us who don’t have as many chances we want to pounce on the opportunities that we have but we fuck it up because our minds are a mess. It’s all about mental health, confidence, self-belief. We basically have to learn how to pick ourselves up after a rejection. Some handle rejection better than others. Some men are more sensitive than others and take it harder and can cause mental trauma. Some men need to learn it isn’t about the outcome; it’s about looking forward to the process. For me I’m not a natural talker. I’m more about actions but unfortunately women want a conversationalist who can sweet talk them anytime, anyplace,anywhere. Women say they don’t like games but they’re full of shit. Talking to women is a game that comes to some men easy and others more difficult. They want us to work for it. I hate games, I hate manipulation, etc but when dealing with the opposite sex you have to learn how to be someone else. And then some women would be happy if a guy just came up to them and said hello….but how would we know based on looks if that lady was that type? That’s why you have to learn not to give a damn about the outcome.
Insecurities, low self esteem
They're intimidated. Maybe you or some other woman is so hot to the point of a guy not being able to stop looking but he is afraid to come and talk to you.
They're nervous
You could approach them. But nah, that would be actually taking a risk and you might need your deal with rejection. No woman wants that.
Something that I know is, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I know not everyone is going to be my cup of tea. I don’t always see rejection as a bad thing. Sometimes it’s protection.
[удалено]
I see this women at my gym most of the time and she started looking at me so now I look at her to make sure she’s not looking at me. Guess what our eyes meet and then I probably come off as perve.
Im scared.
Darte hein saale
Because we don’t want to be called creepy by asking her out
Because we’re waiting for you to say something
Fear of rejection or just admiring.
Because I have a GF.
Because for some reason not dating her because I didn't ask is different than not dating her because she said no, even though both results are me not dating her.
Because we’re drawing them and want to be detailed
Haven't talked to girls of the class for long. So I haven't approached her.
If a guy approaches me I just straight up say 'I'm not interested, thanks. Me having a boyfriend or not is really besides the point.
They stare so much, imagining what could be. But never approach bc of the assumed high chance of a rejection. As a guy, I find it creepy but as a woman if you know the man just doesn’t have the courage to approach just brush it off and carry on with your day, no point in escalating things…
You can just go up greet her, introduce yourself and say I find you really attractive with a smile. And ask what are you planning to do with this information?? Handing her your phone for her number
Not worth it anymore in most cases but still may appreciate looking at a cute girl.
Question can go both ways I just don’t have the confidence to approach a man and just look back and smile hoping they come over
I understand that. I’m very old school but I’ll start or have a conversation with anyone. But approaching a guy asking him out naw. I’m not doing that.
Kasi sinusubukan ko kung makakaya ko magawa ang ginagawa ni Professor X.