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Tryvez

You gotta re-wire your brain. Gotta stop watching porn, or else it will not get any better.


HallZac99

I've already been taking steps to better myself. I haven't jerked off for weeks since we became official. Once I'm better with it, I might go to once a week or so. A far more healthy amount.


Kinkin50

When you go back to masturbation, don’t look at porn. Think about your girlfriend, imagine being with her. It will get better. Also, consider moving your hips and pelvis a little when you masturbate, so that you don’t only associate orgasm with being still (except your hands).


xJust_Chill_Brox

Also don’t beat your meat like it owes you money(tight grip and fast as you can) sex isn’t like that. Sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s slow, but it’s never like that.


Ok_Net_4661

Also he should do it laying down or standing up in a position similar to sex, not in a sitting position. Sone dudes have wired their brain from so much porn for the body to only think of sex as sitting in front of a screen. I saw a great video a guy made about this exact thing years ago I recommend for guys to watch: https://youtu.be/rxl3XRmvrPk?si=mQvVIfP-PA5riv2b


Additional-Match-422

So what I do is listen to audios instead of watching it.


Emotive69

No bro DROP IT, nothing good in porn


[deleted]

If you haven’t jerked off in weeks you should be ready to go dude


kayla-beep

It’s not healthy at all, looks at how it’s affecting you. You posted about it


shaneshaw

Watch the movie "Don Jon".


Slow-Priority-6510

Watch don jon mate you will find your situation there its a movie


CPThatemylife

Porn is just bad for you. Not for any of the stupid reasons conservatives have been screaming about for decades, but from a psychological/physiological standpoint. It can be addictive and erode your ability to have healthy reactions to real life sexual intimacy.


Hardwater77

That's literally why they recommend not watching porn.


Poppiesatnight

Just stop watching porn complelty. Your brain will reset in about a month.


Additional-Match-422

Hopefully 😂 I just listen to audio when I beat my meat like audio like stuff nothing visual


ShadowBibi666

That's still porn


Additional-Match-422

No like audio of dirty talking or moaning as if u was listening to a mp3 player


Interesting_Door4882

Like the person above said, that is still porn. Porn is external media used for the purpose of sexual arousal.


Additional-Match-422

Okay I thought it had to do with like watching videos. And stuff not audio?


cosmic_love_28

You’re not a bad person, but you have a porn addiction, stop watching that shit and maybe seek professional help.


uwukittykat

Reading the comments is sad. Are we as a society so addicted to porn that this is just normal for most men? That's so sad...


kayla-beep

Smartphones are fucking up everyones brains


Superb-Zebra01

Yeah like it’s so depressing, I almost never want to date men at this point ever again. My ex was so addicted he couldn’t even finish without mentally imagining and he struggled with a tight grip, he was 23. I doubt I can find a man who doesn’t watch porn in our society.


Interesting_Door4882

You can. But most of us were men who used to use porn, then changed.


uwukittykat

I make it a clear requirement in my relationship that porn is prohibited. But I'm also into kink, so take that with a grain of salt. I understand it's still weird to openly communicate your boundaries in society, ESPECIALLY as a woman.


Superb-Zebra01

I specifically told him this, he just got better at hiding it. It’s insane to me. They have a full consenting human in front of you but they’ve done so much damage to their mind and body that it’s absolutely not in sync. I broke up with him and I am genuinely skeptical of dating men again. Because I have asked a couple guys and they have said I’d find it hard to meet a man who doesn’t watch porn. I’d rather be single at that point, than to be with an adult who cannot recognize the vermin that it is for the mind.


uwukittykat

I feel this. It's so harmful. And it's so objectifying in such a weird way. I'm so sorry :/


Late-Put8056

There’s definitely men out there who don’t watch porn. Or, at the very least, have stopped watching after watching it in the past. It might take some time to find those men, yes, but they’re out there.


tebsrules

I hear you. I wish men understood how much better sex would be for them if they just stop watching porn.


Icy_Anywhere1488

That's your right to want someone who doesn't watch porn but are you as a women prepared to give up social media? Social media screws up a women's brain the same way porn screws up a mans brain. If you want a man with no porn, he wants a women with no social media.


Superb-Zebra01

Fun fact- I have no social media. Idk if Reddit is social media cause of the way it’s setup. It’s why he managed to hide all the instagram half naked women he’s seen from me for a while.


aonelonelyredditor

YES, most of us learn about it from a young age and think its the norm, and only few of us realize its wrong at a later age and it doesn't even have to be porn, soft porn is everywere these days, specially is an age where women are encouraged to show their body and even sell it thinking it's empowering .. instagram models showing their bodies everywhere, onlyfans girs are not frowned upon .. these are weird times


playmaker1209

I think it’s because most men don’t receive any kind of personal intimacy that often. So they watch porn to get their physical needs met. Women have a much easier time finding that. Also, men are more visual creatures than women are.


Too-Much_Too-Soon

Possibly. Alternatively, he might not be into her, or the two of them being new to this are stumbling along and the sex isn't very sexy yet. The part about not cumming during the sex is neither here nor there at this point in time. Many guys are nervous or anxious during the first few encounters and can't cum. That usually resolves itself as they become more acquainted with one another. He's definitely right to eliminate as much of the porn as he can though. Eliminating all the things that might be a problem will help find out what is the problem.


supermoist0

Yeah. Most men aren't the models that the majority of women anymore want (plz dont attack me, i didnt say all women) so most men go single for a long ass time. So porn is what we turn to a lot of times so that we still get secual pleasure and shit cuz we may never get that from another person. I'm speaking from experience, as well as seeing a shit ton of other guys go through it. It's rough man. Hell, I've only ever had one girl and she chested on me with like 4 different guys while lying to me and saying she was asexual


supermoist0

And yes ofc it's possible to quit, but just like any other addiction, it's really really fucking hard. Because it re-wires your brain so that porn is the only way you can even get hard/horny much less finish


AnnoyedCrustacean

It's the only sex ed you get in the west. So yes, you either are curious enough about sex that you watch porn to get educated, or you're chaste.


Paridisco

This actually happen to me as well. I’ve watched a lot of porn growing up. And now Im finally in a relation, however when we’re intimate it takes a while for me to climax without masturbating. Basically I had to recondition myself. I’ve only ever climax to the sensation of my own touch. I was a virgin only climaxing from masturbating until this relationship. You need to stop watching porn and climaxing from masturbating. Teach your body to experience climax from your partner. Because My girl actually thought she was doing a terrible job because I wasn’t cumming.


Minimum-Ad2462

yea stop watching porn if u cant cum thinking about her then she’s gonna be hella insecure. trust me i ruined my last relationship because of porn 🌚


Ballerina_clutz

I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing your experience with OP.


Budget-Dot-6530

U desensitized yourself to reality. Completely stop the porn and self pleasure bc u will be ready to explode especially if u wait as long as possible. Then you will start checking her out and will become aroused. This works… u need to be focused on her… and connect spirit for that amazing org. Good luck. May work faster if u understand the addiction and she may be open to discussing it so she doesn’t think there is something wrong with her. Good luck


nightowl2023

The fact that you mentioned everything besides the obvious of just simply not watching porn anymore should tell you all you need to know my friend. You can't stop watching it and you can't stop thinking about it because you're addicted to it.


[deleted]

I think his acknowledgment of this is implied in his post…


nightowl2023

You don't imply things when you have an addiction. You continue to feed your addiction or you stop. This post is a half measure it says that he's stopped masturbating but it doesn't say that he stopped watching porn.


-Heidelbergensis-

It literally says "I'm taking steps to watch less porn"


[deleted]

You’re being intentionally obtuse. It’s not that cut and dry. You’re not helping you’re just pointing out what OP already knows.


nightowl2023

My friend, You are a one man army who's replying to every single person on this post trying to spin your narrative. The everyone is wrong but me type of person. Good day sir there's no need for us to continue talking you've made your point known to me and everyone else. And fyi, some of the responses that he's made have confirmed exactly what I said. And had you actually taken a few minutes to check out this guy's Post history before going on a tangent you would see the deep rooted problem this guy actually has. He isn't telling the whole truth to anyone here. He literally was posting porn 10 days ago. Yet he's claiming here that he hasn't watched it in weeks. And that he can't have an orgasm.


[deleted]

If there’s no need to continue talking then why did you continue talking? Probably because you need to have the last word. Also, I replied to 3 people, not “every single person.”


PM_ME_GRAPHICS_CARDS

he owned you i’m afraid


[deleted]

lol what


Hour_Lengthiness_650

Sounds like an addiction.


midday--moon

Oh you are definitely porn sick my dude Cold turkey that shit and your sex life will improve greatly


ProfessionalRich3651

i had an ex who couldnt cum without porn. when we first started going out, he wouldnt be able to stay hard. he would tell me it was just nerves which is totally valid but looking back, it definitely wasnt normal for an 18 year old guy who had posters of porn stars on his walls. he didn’t watch porn while we had sex or anything but it’s something he told me that he couldnt do with me alone. he came a whopping 2 times with me but that was it. looking back, i realize how RIDDLED he was with porn addiction. i really recommend you getting help. this is not judgement but also coming from someone who enjoys porn from time to time, i dont really think men have the capability to not get attached to it in some way. some women even struggle but its really sad that most men today cant even be lost in the heat of the moment with their partner without thinking of porn. hope this serves as helpful insight


Quallityoverquantity

Sorry but your ex has clearly warped your views in this subject. Because definitely can and the majority of them do not get "attached" to porn. I suggest you find a sexual partner without a porn addiction. Because most men don't have to think about porn while having sex.


Ballerina_clutz

That’s been my experience as well. They all feel like it’s their god given right as well. Lots and lots of men have issues with porn. Lots. It’s really bad in places where religion dominate the local laws.


ProfessionalRich3651

i’ve dated multiple people since then who dont watch porn and were very candid about how multiple friends of theirs struggle with porn addiction. i literally said “most men” not all. i have close male friends who fully admit they had to stop watching porn and switched to healthier outlets- my views arent warped, multiple men i personally know are very passionate about the topic of men being prone to porn addiction. just because this doesnt apply to you doesnt mean it doesnt exist. sorry you were so bothered by my comment!


Ok_Grocery_2464

You enjoy filmed rape from time to time? How cool you are ( in case you don't realize it's sarcasm) if you have to pay someone is because they don desire it so you are forcing them, and forced sex , sex without desire is rape porn users are all the same even casual users


ProfessionalRich3651

lmao where did i say that? clearly you are chronically online and have brainrot. yk some people film themselves on their own terms, right? f*cking numbskull


RevolutionaryComb433

Ease off on the porn mate and try and relax a bit during sex


In_the_middle3-2-3

This is not a her problem, nor does it have anything to do with her. It's your mind and the mental connection you conditioned yourself to. I wouldn't look at it as wrong or right, but rather in terms of have you placed yourself in a healthy spot to have a romantic relationship with someone.


[deleted]

I don’t think OP ever insinuated that it was a her problem


MrsCharlieBrown

Yes he did, he said because he can't cum she's probably not attractive enough? 


BlessedManIsBlessed

Specifically he asked if maybe he's not attracted enough to her, again making it have little to do with her and more to do with him. Sometimes someone can be incredibly attractive but just not a particular person's type. But I concurr with most people here that based off what he's saying he should probably cut the porn out, and if he's going to masturbate, think of the girl he's with, and ease up on the grip


[deleted]

He was talking about his attraction to her, which is not a her problem.


CPThatemylife

No he didn't


hammystyle

No porn. I think it’s pretty common for young people who watch too much porn to have that rewire what you’re attracted to. When you’re with her stay present. Don’t worry about cumming or not. Just enjoy the sex. Enjoy her body. Find out what she likes. Try different positions. Honestly I have some blood flow just thinking about it. It’s not such a bad thing to last longer when you’re first doing it. It’s not about her. Don’t worry about that.


sanwichtalk

Stop watching porn. Exercise (hard), and meditate. The more you ruminate on it the worst it will get.


thatgen93

Stop watching porn bro…


[deleted]

Yes it’s wrong you have a porn addiction. You have a beautiful girl and you’re thinking about pixels on a screen ..


[deleted]

It’s not wrong. Stop shaming people it doesn’t solve anything…


Kinkin50

Not really a helpful reply. And there is no indication he has an addiction.


Ballerina_clutz

You are right. It’s totally normal for an 18 year old to have erectile dysfunction. Totally normal. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️


Kinkin50

OP has been desensitized to normal sexual stimulation by some combination of masturbation habits and porn use. He should change his behavior for better results. But I don’t see the point in shaming him for accidentally getting to this point, and based upon what he has told us he wouldn’t meet any diagnostic criteria for addiction.


Ballerina_clutz

I wasn’t trying to shame him. I was using correct medical terminology. I don’t want this to be a life long problem for him.


Kinkin50

You weren’t but the person I responded to initially kind of was. I should have explained more in my initial reply. I think we are all on the same page that the OOP needs to make some changes (although difficulty orgasming the first few times with a new partner is more normal than one might think).


Ballerina_clutz

He said he was finally able to orgasm though when he finally thought about porn though. Is that normal to only be able to orgasm when thinking about or looking at porn? I’m not a teenage boy, so I don’t know.


valcorado94

There’s every indication that he has an addiction.


Kinkin50

Progressively increasing use? Compulsive use when not intending to? Inability to quit in the face of consequences? OP shows none of those. Whether porn addiction is a true disease is controversial, and using the term for conditions like OP’s (which is problematic use, but not addiction) just weakens the argument.


valcorado94

Yeah. You’re describing substance-related physical dependence. That is a totally separate component to the psychological aspect of addiction.


Kinkin50

Ok, so can you lay out for me “every indication” that OP has a porn addiction?


valcorado94

Yikes. You really are taking this personal.


kayla-beep

Porn addicts are hella mad in this thread lol


Kinkin50

Not really. You are just wrong, and everyone knows how important it is to correct people on the internet who are wrong! 😆 peace, bro!


kirstyn69

u clearly have an issue yourself and you’re too afraid to admit it and have to work on yourself lol


Kinkin50

The poster shamed OOP and claimed he was clearly a sex addict. I don’t agree with either of those approaches. That is the issue that I have.


valcorado94

Oh I know. Thank goodness we have well educated people such as yourself to call the bullshit out!


Kinkin50

Both of us, doing our part to keep Reddit lively.


PeddoPedro

You don’t know if she’s beautiful though 🤷‍♂️


Flashy-Income-9653

STOP WATCHING PORN. What is up with guys and porn addictions? Get a life and stop touching yourself. Maybe workout? Build a model car? Play video games? Stop masturbating bc you’re bored. This glows for anyone this applies to not just OP.


TheLameloid

It's a chicken and egg situation. We watch porn because we can't get laid, and we can't get laid because we watch porn.


Flashy-Income-9653

It’s pretty simple. Wanna jerkoff? Go do some pushups instead. Getting horny again? Go for a walk/run. I was a porn addicted in highschool. It’s not hard to break that habit my friend


Ballerina_clutz

Some peoples brains are wired for addiction more than others. Quitting for some people is easy. Other struggle with addiction their entire life.


ShadowBibi666

Quitting porn can be really though for some people. It all depends on your life situation. My best streaks of no porn were when I was in a relationship. For me it is harder when I'm single, for others it might be different. Porn is a real addiction and it can be harder to quit than some other drugs


Interesting-Ad-1247

But that dopamine is needed


Ballerina_clutz

Exercise is the biggest dopamine rush you can get without using substances or mechanisms that aren’t great for your brain.


Interesting-Ad-1247

If sex can used as exercise why cant masturbating be seen as a light exercise


Funny-Fifties

Maybe for women.


AnnoyedCrustacean

>Get a life and stop touching yourself. Maybe workout? Build a model car? Play video games? Why? Nothing is as rewarding in dopamine It's called an addiction for a reason. You can't just stop it. Particularly when we've built a society around everyone being alone all the time


alex-manutd

You can't figure out what is up? If it's not clear, for many men and young men it is the only female contact they/we get. Give it a thought and try to emphasize. I'm not saying it's healthy but in the interest of answering your likely rhetorical question, that's "what is up".


Quallityoverquantity

Yes it's clearly wrong and you have a severe problem. as a virgin you should be practically busting a nut if your partner grazes your leg. It's definitely not fair that your partners first experience has to be like this because of your clear addiction. Stop porn altogether and stop trying to justify your continued use of it whether it be daily weekly or monthly.


[deleted]

Stop shaming the guy. It is not a “severe” problem if he is able to go several weeks without indulging. Plus, it is not abnormal for a virgin to have trouble finishing. The nerves get in the way. The shame is on you.


kayla-beep

You clearly also have a porn addiction, you just can’t stop commenting here to defend porn


[deleted]

I’m not defending porn, I’m saying to stop shaming addiction. GTFO


Ballerina_clutz

Erectile dysfunction in an 18 year old is not normal. He is only able to orgasm if he thinks about porn. Read that again. As many times as it takes.


[deleted]

Porn addiction is pretty common in young men


Funny-Fifties

Some 15 years back, I read that the sight of a naked breast does not give most men a hard-on in most Western countries.


priyatheeunicorn

Ya you need to lay off the porn.


livalittlebitt

Yup


vocalreasoning

You're not a bad person, but it sounds like porn has just become so much a part of your routine when it comes to sexual pleasure that you can't orgasm without it. What I would recommend is to wean yourself off pornography, and probably pursue therapy as well, because it's possible there's something about the porn that's satisfying a mental need that a therapist may be able to help you work past.


Ballerina_clutz

You aren’t a bad person. Is it normal? No. Erectile dysfunction is not normal at your age. I was married to a porn addict for way to many years. It only got worse. He eventually started complaining about my body. He thought women “owe” men sex. Porn is not realistic. I tried to find a video of a woman being pleasured, and it was actually difficult. 99% of porn is just getting the man to climax or being way to rough. You need to take a huge break from masterbating and even longer break from porn. You are young enough that you can break addictions easier. You need to find out if you can jack off once a week and still be able to finish with your woman. Some people can watch porn without getting addicted. Some cannot. Find out which person you are. I highly suggest you do some research on how porn rewires the brain and how it effect relationships. Couples that don’t watch porn have happier relationships. Men that watch porn are less satisfied with their partners bodies. It’s fine if you need to get professional help. Treat this like any other addiction.


Texan628

yeah it's called being pornsick


sunsista_

I feel bad for your girlfriend…


sunsetqueen1983

I'm at the end of my rope with it. First marriage was a nightmare bc of it. Why does anyone not understand it destroys the relationship the intimacy. You can literally be so close to someone. And it's over...just like that because of porn. If you are one to be dishonest as f ...and want to really just exist to hurt your woman's soul. It doesn't matter if she makes an effort to see it and understand you better. In the subconscious of a woman, it's always going to be there. Just wait until you can't achieve....frustration will be there in an amount so heavy...and nothing will ever be the same. It is literally, a tragedy. And that's coming from someone with an open mind. It is alot of things. None of which are good.


Ok_Writing_6042

I’m sorry for everyone being so insensitive in the comments. It’s definitely a problem, and you do need to stop watching porn, but it’s an addiction like any other and you shouldn’t feel ashamed. It’s a common problem. If you work on dropping it then I’m sure you’ll fix the problem. Good luck!


Ballerina_clutz

They are being hard on him because he is young enough to get rid of addictions forever. The longer you wait to treat an addiction, the worse it will get. Ever try to convince an 80 yo smoker with emphysema to quit?


Ok_Writing_6042

I understand that but he clearly knows there’s a problem, I don’t want him to hate himself for struggling. I do understand trying to hammer in how important it is to change though.


[deleted]

this is a porn addiction, quit watching porn, stop jerkin off for awhileeeeeeee maybe chill on the sex and you’ll be good


Alarmed-Rent-5384

Bruh your porn addicted and its now showing and impacting your sexlife…. You definitely need to stop watching porn and get some help with this.


Imhidingfromu

Yeah, you got a porn addiction mate, drop it.


Donna-Do1705

Yes


NB565

Quit porn altogether best advice I can give you. Doesn't do you any good, spend that time doing something productive


robsongirl20

you have a porn addiction


contrarian1970

your problem is zero percent masturbation and 100 percent the porn. If you like this new girlfriend it should be easy to quit.


Clerithifa

Yes it's called a porn addiction lol. If you don't care then cool, but expect to have issues with your partners if they find out you can't get aroused without thinking about porn


xtuxie

Yeah you gotta stop watching porn it’s actually very bad for your brain. Instead of jerking off just hold it and wait until she wants to do it and you’ll finish


Superb-Zebra01

Stop watching porn. I cannot with men who consume porn to this extent. Not trying to judge you OP but if your girl basically thought or said your dick doesn’t feel good because it’s not what she’s seen in porn lots of men would be insecure. I don’t know why most men think this is okay, it’s really not. I’m mentally trashed now because of the damage my ex did to my self esteem because of his issues with porn. He was only 23 and it was so bad he couldn’t even get hard without those images, imo that’s very very messed up.


B0tfly_

Attraction isn't a choice. Try stopping the porn for a while, but if it still doesn't work then it's nobody's fault. Not cumming isn't even something to be angry or frustrated about. I can't tell you how many women go their entire lives without knowing what it's like to cum. Think about the moments you ARE having, rather than the one thing you aren't. Intimacy, closeness, a partner who wants to please you. All these things you DO have, which others are crying and agonizing over not having. Count your blessings, bro.


Designer_Emu_6518

No but you have conditioned yourself. If you feel bad about time to recondition if you don’t care then fuck it.


EmptyMixtape

Very wrong yes


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Undercoverlizard_629

I get it man, it’s hard to cut back or quit. But you got this. Remember your girlfriend if you are going to masturbate.


Elguilto69

Ya just be u the moment


Conscious_Algae_6009

Give it time. Just continue not watching porn and don't masturbate. It'll get better.


Outside-Werewolf-549

I’ve been there, just try to take a break from porn and jacking it.


hotpotatoes34

I couldnt cum the first few times I had sex when I lost my virginity. I guess, stop jerking off to porn. Go a few days without Cummin and then boom. Literally.


Simple-Leader6501

You gotta get into the dopamine detox because I cannot imagine that you do not watch a lot of social media etc besides the porn


ASHTRiX15

What’s a fellatio?


Ballerina_clutz

Oral sex


TwoCreamOneSweetener

Is it wrong? Depends on your morals. Is it healthy? Probably not. Porn is unrealistic and designed to get your rocks off.


AjClow1993

“Give me fellatio” And “sexy characters” made this post worth reading


zchaeriuss

You're not a bad person. You're just addicted. Gradually lessen it and try to do no nut november this year.


Mr_Goose12341

Head man, that shit rocks


Easy-Squash-200

P*rn is illution not reality, so don't waste your energy on imagination. You dating someone and u guys had s*x several time then you should quit watching p*rn and start living in reality 😊


Puzzleheaded-Help-80

Spend more time with her and turn off your phone, it will help! Hard the first 2 weeks but progressively easier


TheDailyDarkness

Shortest answer. Yes. Longer take. You’ve programmed yourself to need your surrogate self soothing in place of real intimacy in real time with a real person who you supposedly have feelings and attraction to. Sounds like a porn addict. My porn consumption is admittedly high BUT I would and could gladly give it up for more regular real life in person encounters. Get off porn now, it will be easier when you have steady dating and a ref sex partner to help retrain your body and mind for healthy relations.


kinkeltolvote

Hah, I imagine mechs Slaughtering people!


Additional-Match-422

Tbh I’ve watched porn but I’ve stopped watching it as much as I did when I was in HS like when it comes to intimacy. If I have a strong connection o someone it usually isn’t an issue bc I have strong feelings for that perosn


aonelonelyredditor

yes it's bad, no you're not a bad person specially that you're acknowledging there is smtg wrong and u wanna fix it, u just fucked your brain by watching too much porn, and no it doesn't mean you're not attracted to her, and yes stop watching porn for good RIGHT FUCKING NOW


jango547

I was where you are a couple years ago when I first got with my ex. When we first did it I couldn’t finish, but I didn’t watch porn or jerk off from that time to the next time we met up a week later and I was able to finish that time. Over the course of our relationship it got to the point where I didn’t even want to watch porn anymore, and as that happened the sex got better and better. So from one man to another, you’re already taking the right steps, and soon enough you’ll get there.


Andrewrost

How is thinking about porn different than just looking at the naked person in front of you sucking you off? Are you imagining yourself watching videos of people doing sexual acts while you’re in the middle of a sexual act?


SorryUnderstanding7

Man isn't able to cum and I be cumin in 2 sec I'm inside her, what a world to live in 😔


PerpetuallyPonderous

Yes


OGKittyKat

Yes fix this before it becomes a major issue because it inevitably will.


Marchew1200

When I imagined my crushes while masturbating it felt better than porn. If you do feel attracted to your partner but can’t ejaculate unless imagining porn it can be to different reasons. Perhaps you remembered a specific sexual technique from a porn video combined with other conditions such as the actress’ appearance and voice, behaviour etc. that made you highly aroused and you developed a sexual need or craving for that scenario that can’t quite be met with your experiences with your current partner. Or maybe it could be because you already ejaculated not long before having sex. Remeber you are not a bad person for this, its natural to have certain sexual desires. Also it maybe because of medication such as anti-depressants. The side effect from them manifests exactly the same way you described. You do feel sexually fulfilled and youre getting close but even then you can’t ejaculate however imagining porn doesnt quite add up because you wouldnt be able to climax either way. Overall I think it may be a matter of fulfilling one’s sexual desires and you don’t quite feel satisfied with current experience with your girlfriend.


Maleficent_Intern_49

I never understood how porn got that bad for someone’s brain. There’s times in high school I’d rub out like 10 in a day and a girl could still get me off. Tf do yall watch dude. 😳


Friendly-Act2750

Yes.


redheaddevil9

The more time you’ve spent watching porn, the harder it’s to cum normally, without including it. Take some time.


Big-Consideration633

I never imagine porn. I imagine the real thing, when she's not in the mood. When we're doing it, that's all I need. Lights on and covers off.


olivegardengambler

I would say that one thing that will help is potentially, if you are masturbating at least once a day, is to cut it back. You need to make sure you have bullets in the chamber. The other thing is it helps to fantasize about your partner, think about being with your partner. Think about sexy things your partner does or things you find sexy about your partner.


Unlikely_nay1125

yes


swingset27

It's not "wrong", it's just unhealthy. Cut out the porn and start working on healthy sexual interactions by romanticizing the real world and not that bizarro fantasy shit that porn projects.


CraziBastid

I think you might be overthinking it a little. Continue limiting masturbating and porn. At the end of the day, sex is supposed to be fun. Explore what works for you both and don’t be afraid to try new things to spice it up. Good luck to you!


sweetkbabyy

Definitely it's wrong. You're so much tangled into porn it's indeed a warning sign.


Appropriate_Buy3273

Your testicle could also just be empty bro. Take a break from ejaculsting for a month. Then try to have sex with your firm again. If this doesn't help you may have to try allowing yourself to focus on feeling your girlfriend in the moment


Mushroom_movies

Sex only once a month to recharge?


Appropriate_Buy3273

No no. Actually, no sex for a month to see if the issue is that his balls are in fact just empty. If after a month of not ejaculating and he still isn't able to ejaculate with her. The problem might be deeper than my proposal. However, if after a month and he does manage to cum with her, he would just have to work on masturbsting less so he actually has a load to blow with his girlfriend whenever they do have sex. So it's not sex once a month. But instead no sex for one month, just to recharge and see if that's the source of the problem. Afterwards you can/should be able to have sex as much or as little as you want


Mushroom_movies

I wonder how old you guys are. Still a month? Like the talking to someone new jitters and excitement can’t get you to finish with them, you need to hard reset your balls for a month? If that’s what you need to do I guess, I think that’d be kind of a turn off for a new partner though, especially the timing. Guess the right person won’t mind tho!


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Mushroom_movies

Three months….it would really depend on the person I suppose. Seeing a doctor is always good. Just a hard adjustment and a lot of effort to go from hand/screen to real life person.


Appropriate_Buy3273

Also, for context, I used to beat it like once or twice daily bk then. So my balls were like literally always empty


Right_Macaron8526

I used to be like this. But it will get better eventually. On the bright side you can last really really long. For me personally even now masturbation gives better orgasm than actual sex.


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Ballerina_clutz

I don’t think it’s nerves, or he wouldn’t have had to think about porn to finish. It’s not the same as a woman with a vibrator either. I don’t compare my vibrator to the penis of my partner. I don’t need to think about my vibrator to finish. I don’t fantasize about my vibrator when I’m in public. I don’t have an emotional attachment to it. No matter how many times I use my vibrator, it will not change my feelings for my partner. I can tell when men I go on dates with men that are addicted to it. It begins to disseminate their impulse control. True porn addiction will cause people (women can get addicted to,) to eventually objectify the other sex.


Affectionate-Still15

Yes. Head to r/NoFap


Insipid_Lies

Death grip is a total myth


MudKing123

Stop watching porn and stop masturbating. Use her to relieve yourself and when you do, try to help her out. You will be building relationship instead of destructive habits.


Vikt724

Very normal, MEGAN FOX every night with me


elbartodxb

Not proud of it, but a few times I came in my girlfriend while imagining my previous FWB doing all kinds of kinky things to me.


derp________

This guy fucks


moonblipthriller

pretty normal problem to have, especially if youre new to being sexually active irl. cutting out porn entirely can be hard so maybe just try to limit it. doesnt mean youre not into your girlfriend either. but, from the female perspective, often i can kinda tell when a guy is zoning out thinking about other things and that kinda sucks. if the sex irl isnt enough to 'get you off', try slowing down, make the time/space to ask for what you want, take time to pleasure her (getting ur partner off is usually also a major turn on & not something you get from porn), make it more 'love making'-ish so you can try to get some anticipation and feelings involved. limiting how often u masturbate should help also. porn can be hella addicting, try jacking off at first without it for a few minutes, watching it with just sound, or without sound, or cutting it out before youre about to cum. the issue is that u can kind of lose yourself in the porn and become hella disconnected from ur body. but yeah, its probably not that ur not attracted to her enough. dont feel bad about yourself, your self awareness and effort to change will go far. if you keep dating & as you get closer to her it might get easier too. when the thoughts come in while ur having sex dont shame them away thatll just make it harder, see if you can think about it but also pay attention to your gf. and yeah, sometimes irl sex is kinda boring, if theres something from porn that youre \*both\* comfortable with trying, that might be worth a shot.


Imaginary_Parsnip_82

Gotta start doing more hardcore stuff to excite yourself. Also gotta find a chick that’s cool with it.


SavageCaveman13

This will be an unpopular opinion. I see no difference in you watching porn to orgasm than a woman using a vibrator to orgasm. This is what you're both used to, and it's okay.


DanaCalifornia

I’m gonna be real with you- that’s not healthy behavior and can have negative effects on your relationships if not addressed. The good news is you recognize this is an issue and can take the steps to get better. Btw I don’t think you of a bad person, just one that has a bit of growing to do. Best of luck to you!


Electronic-Praline21

Less porn but also maybe you’re not that attracted to her? If you find her very attractive it really shouldn’t be that hard 💀


Ballerina_clutz

He literally said he has to think about porn to finish any time.


Electronic-Praline21

Smh that’s a mess


Elfving88

Its normal to have diffrent sexdrive. Let her stroke you and do what she want. Wank till you almost is cumms. Then let her finnish. Nothing wrong.


Ballerina_clutz

Or he could learn to have sex the regular way


faee19

Everyone is saying porn addiction, but alternatively you might be just a very visual person. Have you tried using mirrors?


kornhell

You are not a bad person and you are allowed to think about other stuff during sex. If you make it a problem in your head, it could further worsen your ability to cum with her. Couples sometimes need a little time to find the right pace on each other. Reduce porn and masturbation and see if it helps.


PapajG

A lot of people giving good advice here, il go in the opposite direction. Have you thought about it as a good thing, you can pound her for days now :)


Ballerina_clutz

There are actually health problems out there that can make long sex uncomfortable. Women that get UTI’s need to finish fast. Women that get Bacterial Vaginosis really often need to hurry. Women with interstitial cystitis really, really can’t handle long sessions because it becomes excruciating. I have IC. On a pain scale of 1-10, long sex during a IC flare is a 10. I have dumped at least 3 men that take to long. It is a huge deal breaker for me. Huge. Plus I’ve noticed that porn addicts have so much less impulse control. They are way more likely to objectify women. An 18 year old having erectile dysfunction because of a porn addiction is NOT a good thing.