bring tip money this time. a bunch of 5s
wear a belt, tuck in your shirt, don't wear your hat inside.
when you order drinks at the bar that will go on your buddy's tab there - pay him for those at some point
Fill your divots, fix pitch marks, go with the flow. If they're drinking, your drinking. If they're pretty sober...well dont get too crazy.
You've got it. don't worry about your at best 90's game. Just don't take forever trying to look for a ball you know is probably OB and keep it fun
I've seen the shoes thing a few times now. I don't have a lot of private course experience, but have played a few times at a course where my nephew is a member. I've always changed my shoes at the car. What's the big deal on shoes?
You change your shoes immediately before you play and immediately after you play so you don't track in mud and your spikes don't fuck up the expensive flooring and carpets. You do it in the clubhouse locker room because what, are you some kind of lowlife swine who doesn't think this esteemed establishment has provided a comfortable locker room with a wealth of amenities?
Most etiquette rules are a mix between a practical reason that existed at the time the rule was created and proving that you aren't an unrefined pleb who doesn't know the rules.
When I played at Spyglass Hill last year, they have one as well. Except someone does it for you. I used my electric pushcart for the round and he blasted that as well.
He also blasted the inside of my shoes and made me giggle like mad lol.
no, not at the proper private club. I won't get into where I play or what exactly is in there, but my locker remains unlocked at all times (and yes I have a key). 20+ years nothing has been taken.
So, for the cautious and the better private clubs, they'll assign you a guest locker and it likely will have the key dangling in the lock.
Pretty much the same. The only time I lock my locker is when I leave my watch and wedding ring in it. Just too expensive/sentimental to chance it, even though I've never had anything taken.
If it's just shoes, balls, whatever, it stay unlocked.
Eh depends on the club really. I play regularly at three private clubs and we all put on shoes by our by our car (members included). I'd be more focused on making sure my shoes are clean of mud, grass, debris, before walking into the club.
Simply, it’s a step closer to people changing *shirts* in the parking lot. So the etiquette is, if you are going to disrobe in *any* manner, do it inside the space designated for it (the locker room). Just arrive 5 minutes earlier.
It’s only a big deal to old schoolers or new members drinking the koolaid. Just another way to gatekeep. I 100% support rules of etiquette that serve a legitimate purpose (tipping staff, replacing divots, keeping pace), but the stuff where the only purpose is to make people feel superior is ridiculous. But the members make the rules so if that’s the vibe they want at their club then I hope they have fun constantly finding reasons to complain.
>Just another way to gatekeep
Yes, we use the shoe rule to gatekeep. Not the $100k downstroke and $20k annual dues.
The definition of a *private country club* is gatekeeping. Hence the "Members Only" sign at the end of the driveway (or, literal gate).
Not really, they're just talking past each other.
One is saying "Gatekeeping is bad" and the other is saying "The entire purpose of this environment and the people in it is to gatekeep other people."
The first person cannot see the second person's point, because they're stuck on the "it's bad" part and the second cannot see the first's point, because they're stuck on the "it's the whole thing I like" part.
I understand what he's getting at. I'm not trying to gatekeep golf in general.
Just saying, a private club is already 'gatekept' by default, I think it's a bit dumb to say the shoe rule is somehow gatekeeping within this already 'gatekept' and pretty privileged place.
It’s an attempt to keep things civilized. We all have the ability to act just a little bit more formal. Wearing your hat forward and changing shoes in the locker Room is not too big a stretch. Just be respectful. Why can’t people just do that for a short period of time.
Don’t worry about your score. Just play smart and keep up with their pace. When I joined a CC a few years ago, the club has a rule to have shirt tucked in the pro shop, driving range and while playing.
At first, I was annoyed because the club isn’t in a nice part of town. Not a terrible part but very middle class.
After being there for a while now, I get most of the rules and don’t have a problem following them.
If you wanna stand out and be kinda goofy, just get those crazy color shirt/shorts/hat combos some of the guys wear.
Other than that, we keep it pretty civilized out there. Plenty of drinking and smoking around the course, but we respect the course and other golfers.
You are looking at this from the wrong perspective, trying to hard to find faults.
Many clubs want you to change shoes in the locker room as it gives the staff an opportunity to clean your shoes before the round. They do this to protect the course from people tracking in weed seeds, fungus, and other grass diseases that ride in on your shoes.
And it keeps the parking lot from being a mess from people banging the mud out of their cleats at the end of a round.
Not all clubs care. Last nice club I went to the members told me to put my shoes on in the parking lot because he didn’t feel like walking to the locker room. Probably more for the 100k+ clubs
Just because the course is high end doesn’t mean people are good. There are plenty of rich hackers out there. If you keep to the etiquette suggestions and are fun to hang out with shooting poorly won’t be a big deal
In my experience the more exclusive the course the lower the level of play among members, at least in the uk. Loch lomond for example, hackers paradise. Play the part, that's all they are doing.
You can look up uk clubs on howdidido.com and see their handicap list. Most prestigious clubs will have only a couple of plus handicaps and a few scratch.
Also, offer to reimburse him for your green fee. Bringing a guest on a private course can get very pricey. Other than that, just go with the flow. Don’t worry about your score, I’m a member at a private club and we have a lot of members who can’t break 100.
Ask your colleague if there is tipping at the course. Some higher end clubs do not allow tipping, and will fire an employee if they are caught accepting tips.
Adding to this with a few mistakes I’ve made in the past and learned from.
Don’t change your shoes in the parking lot, use the locker room.
Don’t carry your own bag to the clubhouse. You can drop it off upon arrival at the bag drop area for the employees to take, or simply set them outside your car when you park.
Offer to the member to tip the caddie if y’all have one, or at least contribute to the caddie tip. Usually the member has to pay a guest fee for your round so I think it’s a nice gesture to offer this.
I would advise against playing music, although I’ve seen some private course members have music playing at lower volumes before. If you REALLY want music, maybe bring wireless earbuds and only put one in.
If they have snack stations, don’t load up like it’s a free grocery store… that is tacky. Take what you need that will hold you over a few holes, and that’s it.
Golf specifically: be in good spirits and a good sport. Those are always the best types of people to play with. Good or bad at golf, just be nice and enjoy it.
Agreed, absolutely do not change shoes in the parking lot.
Attempt to tip wherever you can, they might not take it but try for the guys handling your clubs, cleaning them, shoe guys.
If the member plays music, cool. Don’t bring your own or expect it at all. IMO an ear bud would be beyond rude or weird depending on the guy.
Possibly bring a small duffel with your shoes and a change of clothes(can be golf attire) if you think you’ll be eating after. He should give you a heads up if that’s expected. Shoe cleaning post round is a thing, so do it if you are hanging around after the round.
Bring loafers or some closed toe shoe- no one in the club house wants to see your feet in flip flops.
Enjoy the little things- that’s the best part about private clubs outside the course itself.
Belong to 3 “high end” private clubs in two different states. Played as a guest at countless others. Have never been blinked at changing shoes in the lot. Obviously individual clubs have their idiosyncrasies (Kansas City CC, for example, requires high socks when wearing shorts), but I consistently see people spout this as some kind of “golden rule” at all private clubs - has not been my experience.
To each their own though, understand (and encourage) folks erring on the conservative side.
Agreed - I belong to a very high end club with multiple courses. I see people changing their shoes in the parking lots all the time. Not every club is the LA country club
What the hell is this ‘playing music’ thing?! Who plays music on a golf course?
Surely the time in between shots you’re talking to your playing partners?
Note that at some high end clubs the caddies only get paid from the tips. So if this club has caddies that don't get paid otherwise, they may be expecting a 100 or 200 dollar tip.
Some cubs are cash free and a service fee is added to everything you purchase....
I would honestly just ask the member - "Hey, what's the protocol on tipping around here, I know it varies from club to club?"
I don’t love the “if they’re drinking, you’re drinking.” I am sober & I’ve never felt the need to drink just because who I’m playing with is drinking. A simple, “no, I’m okay I don’t drink” has always been enough. Furthermore, when I was a drinker, I never thought someone playing with me had to drink because I was drinking.
Is wearing a hat indoors that big a deal? My hair is usually a sweaty mess, and I'd be a little embarrassed to remove it indoors. But, I guess I'd rather be embarrassed by my bad hair than get side eyed for keeping my hat on after a round.
yeah pretty much. I have long hair too. putt it up or just rock it. it is what it is. You likely will just get told by staff to take it off if you try to ask for .... anything.
It definitely is at some clubs. But I would venture a guess that it’s about 50-50. To be safe, yes should take it off. But I feel like this rule and line of thinking is pretty quickly going away.
Some clubs are fine with a hat when you are in the bar area - but not the restaurant. You might ask your playing partner what the rules are for his/her club.
I don’t personally think it is. But at the nicest clubs I’ve played it’s an explicit rule…if you walk in with 1 you’ll get a reminder pretty soon to take it off.
I personally think it’s a little stuffy…but to some places it’s a clear rule.
Spot on dude! I’ve been playing 56 years, played high school, and college competitively, and caddied and worked at a club when I was a kid and belonged to a private club as an adult. You nailed it. Golf is a game of self governance and that seamlessly teaches etiquette.
In a cashless society, guest always forget to tip at courses. It goes a long way tipping the folks around the course who are cleaning your clubs, assisting with your bags, locker room attendants etc. - and a small action like that will get you invited back. Take care of the people working there and allowing you to have what is undoubtably a privileged experience.
Don't wear cargo shorts, regular golf shorts with a belt. Keep your shirt tucked in. Be anal about fixing pitch marks and divots. A co worker is a member at a club and he says most of the club drama is about not repairing ball marks
Keep pace and pick up after like six or seven shots on any hole. Just take an 8 and move on. Better players don’t care as long as everyone is moving well.
True. Keep the pace, don't get in anyone else's way or talk while people are shooting.
Fix your ball marks when needed, rake the trap quickly if you hit into them
Just common sense courtesy, and you'll be fine.
Enjoy the views
Also keep it simple on the colors and patterns.
I had a buddy show up to my club in [camo golf shorts](https://www.johnnie-o.com/products/claymore-jbsh1980-23sp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=17593791339&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw-O6zBhASEiwAOHeGxdtWMcZAF8VWZj46npBJt4bxFRv34sJMZ33k1lNznhGPsK1A2SdQMRoC2gcQAvD_BwE&variant=42049072595119). Not against the rules per se, but not the best look for a guest at a higher end country club.
OP doesn't need to go out and buy a bunch of new Peter Millar gear, he just shouldn't wear his Loudmouth Golf shorts, leave his straight brim hat at home, and clean his shoes before showing up.
In addition to repairing your ball marks I think best thing is to repair ball marks in greens that are NOT yours. I repair 2-6 ball marks per green on a busy course in a round. This always impresses playing partners I don’t know. It’s actually the best thing you can do for the course really.
However I’m also a 10 handicap and play fast so I always have time around the greens as others are getting on. If you’re a slower player just keep up the pace and know when to pick up.
Know what you’re pulling from your bag within 10 secs of your previous shot. Put your clubs back in the right slots in your bag so you don’t get mixed up. Always have at least 3 balls in your pocket, lots of tees, and a coin or marker in your back left pocket. Stay behind people on the green. Don’t ask if they need you to mark it, just walk up after your putt and mark it.
I’ve played with some old school golfers at their fancy club. They were hackers. Could not hit the fairway. Don’t let big $$$ make you think that means good golfers.
The fact you are asking and concerned shows you’re mature enough to know what you are walking into. Don’t be intimidated, which is hard to do.
This flipside of this is that some people are absolute sticks at their own club and can't play well anywhere else. Country club handicaps rarely travel well.
When I started getting serious about my handicap was years ago when I moved close to a muni. The fairways slosh, the greens are tiny, unpruned trees play defense on approach shots, and if you miss a fairway chances are good you’ve lost your ball in thick underbrush (there is no rough to speak of).
So any other course I play is pretty much Augusta national, and as a result the “A” differentials pretty much dominate my handicap card.
I have the opposite problem. I play a shitload of rounds at my course (as it's quite literally in my backyard) and I tend to shoot better at other courses. Maybe it's because I think about my shots more and try better course management.
True but most folks at clubs re serious golfers. Not good, as you say, but they take care of the course, play by the rules, they use good golf etiquette, etc.
I'd agree with take care of the course. The rest is up for interpretation.
I've finished a round at my club with a seven-some. Where we were teeing off of Tall Cans of Bud or Coors Light and drinking brown party liquor for every birdie.
#1 rule is "Don't be a dick."
For everything else, just ask you colleague. Every club has a different culture. Most of the advice others has provided is good, but doesn't apply to all clubs. For example, mine has a no tipping policy and could not care less about changing shoes in the parking lot.
I'd also ask your colleague what the guest fee is. It's a soft way to ask if they want you to pay for anything. When I bring a guest to my club, I don't expect them to spend a dime. But everyone is different.
Tell your buddy: hey, I don’t want to embarrass you, so just tell me if I’m doing something wrong please…
You seem to know most of the etiquette stuff, so just pay attention.
Be ready when it’s your turn to hit.
Don’t move while other people are hitting
Pay attention to where everyone is on the green and don’t walk on their lines.
Be grateful to the host, tip the staff, buy a hat… have fun out there.
This. Just tell him that you’ve never played at a private club and ask him if there’s anything you should know.
Just have fun. If the course is anything like the private course in my town, you are in for a treat. Almost all the public courses here are crap compared to the worst private course.
Shoes and shirts off in the members bar if it's a warm day. As a guest you'll be expected to lead and take yours off first, it's a sign to the members that they can relax and be a bit less formal in your presence.
Goes without saying that if it's your first time you're obliged to kiss the hand of the club captain when he enters the clubhouse.
We have the same thing at our club. We also ask our guests to sing their college fight song to the starter as they make their way to the first tee. And if no college, then you can use We Are the World as a fill-in.
Look on the club's website and see if they have a "guest information" and/or dress code section.
I'm guessing your colleague isn't overly stuffy like the second coming of Judge Smails, otherwise you wouldn't have offered to play with him, so just be friendly and positive and I'm sure you'll be fine.
One thing I didn’t see mentioned is enter bunkers at a low point so as not to destroy the sand slopes at steeper spots. The caddy will rake for you but it’s a nice move to bring a rake to where you enter.
After the round is done, shake hands with your hat off!
If you suck, suck fast!
Don’t walk on anyone’s line on the green!
Smack talk when the player is doing well!
One other thing not mentioned is to keep up with pace of play. You don't need to be a great golfer to play fast, you just need to be efficient while you're out there. Some private courses expect 4 hour rounds so take queues from peeps in your group on pace, be ready to hit when it's your turn, take an appropriate amount of time reading your putts, looking for lost balls, etc. Have a blast!
I belong to two very nice private clubs. Ask your friend about tipping. Mine don’t allow it. It is factored into the dues. If it is, bring some $5’s. Check on the cellphone policy. One of my clubs is highly restricted and monitored. As someone mentioned, check about food and drink. One place takes outside cards upfront and allows you to sign for stuff. The other is member number only.
Why don’t you just tell your retired colleague that you recently got into the game and would like his help learning some etiquette as you guys play. He will appreciate you asking and probably enjoy showing you the ropes.
I joined a private club last year, I don't know why, but for some reason the thing that makes me the happiest is the giant box of free tees in front of the pro-shop door. They are the unbreakable plastic ones too, so one large handful lasts a lifetime.
If the person that invited you tells you not to worry about the guest fee (he may get to bring a few guests for free each year), ask if you can buy the first round of drinks.
Dude there is not cart girls at private country clubs. You sign a form to charge it to the member’s number and it gets billed to the account.
99/100 country clubs are cashless clubs and no credit cards
As someone who married into a private country club family, sure it’s all charged to my in-laws account, but there are still cart girls and still cash to tip. In fact, usually the tip is hoping that the cart girl comes back sooner for drinks. Cart girls, bartenders, kids cleaning your clubs will all still happily take the cash.
the club my FIL belongs to, last time we were there I finally managed to convince a bartender to let me pay credit for a few evening drinks, basically said my FIL didn't need to buy me a nightcap and the bartender chuckled and found a card reader. But yeah, generally speaking everything gets charged to the member.
I played with some guys that owned a freaking gold mining company (literally) at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs once. Just tipped the guys that handled the bags, had a few drinks, was respectful, but nothing insanely different from how I usually play. If you are having a good time, are keeping pace, and aren't being obnoxious, you'll be just fine!
Fill your pockets with the free tees and ball markers. The club gets rebates the more they order these things, so two handfuls of each should suffice as your contribution to their rebates
My family plays at a private country club and I think the best advice is to play fast. People at pay club money so that they don’t have to sit at a tee box waiting for the next party for over 10 minutes.
Some of the advice already given will depend on the culture of the club your friend belongs too. I'm part of a club that is very laid back and relaxed, and a lot of the suggestions wouldn't fly there. As an example, if you leave your bag at the drop off spot, don't expect it to end up on the back of the cart by itself. It's not moving from that spot until YOU move it. Also, go ahead and change your shoes in the parking lot. No sense making you carry an extra pair into the locker room. Shirts do need to be tucked in though. Now I have played other courses where I'd get a real dirty look if I had the gall to carry my own bag from my car so it's always best to find out what those rules are ahead of time. Ask your colleague, he can tell you better than Reddit can.
Let me address something else though - it sounds like sometimes you are not focused on the "playing etiquette" during the round itself. I have the same problem, I sometimes get so focused on my own swing thoughts that I'm oblivious to the other 3 people in my foursome. I'd suggest you mention that you your colleague right up front and explain it to him in that way. Then just ask him to sort of be your "minder" and let you know if you are doing anything wrong. That way if he does see anything that "looks off", he wont feel awkward about giving you a little correction.
One last tidbit that I've noticed since joining a private - nobody really cares how good or bad you are at actual golf. Most people are just out there to enjoy the day and don't want that ruined by someone who ruins the vice. Just be a pleasant person to be around for a few hours, even if you are having the worst round of your life. Nothing wrecks the vibe more than someone getting angry over their bad shots or pouting about their score.
I’ve been a member since the late 80s.
Rule 1 is to have fun. Rule 2 is to have fun!
Some stuff that may help - nobody cares what your score is. The important thing is to play fast. If you’re over 8 and you’re not in the green, just pick up for that hole.
Ask the member if you’re responsible for your green fees. If so, pay him in cash before you start.
Ask if you’re playing match play or stroke play rules. Most private golf is match play. I love match play!
Ask the member for tipping advice.
Caddies are awesome but expensive. Make sure you know if you’re walking, caddies, or carts ahead of time
Be sure to adhere to the dress code. Just wear a nice shirt and don’t warmer jeans or cargo shorts.
Get there early. Take advantage of the range and practice area.
Buy yourself a shirt or hat in the pro shot.
Everyone there is in your side. They want you to have a great day. Don’t be afraid to ask questions!
Play fast. Play fast. Play fast.
You will likely be expected to play in under 4 hours. Exceeding this can result in a letter to your member, so play fast.
Expect to have drinks or food after the round.
If you want great day, bring a change of clothes and take a shower after golf
What a considerate friend you are asking do’s and don’t’s on Reddit beforehand! I respect you for trying not to get your friend in any potential trouble. Hope you enjoy the round. Cheers man!
Dress in proper golf attire. Sneakers are ok if you dont have golf shoes.
If he offered to bring you as a guest, he is likely going to cover the guest fee (can be anywhere from $100 to god knows what depending on the course). Offer to pick up lunch/drinks after as a thank you.
Plenty of members will be at your same level of golf so dont worry about that. Just take note if youre slowing things down or if you guys arent keeping up to the next group.
Def have cash on hand for tips or buying drinks from the cart girl.
HAVE FUN. Don't stress about it.
As someone who worked at a club for years where members could tip, far too many members thought they couldn’t. If you can tip your bag staff please do!
Just act like a guest? Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do as a guest at someone’s house.
-Keep up pace
-Fix divots and pitch marks
-Don’t be loud and vulgar
-Take your hat off when when shaking hands after
the round and any time you’re inside the clubhouse
-Don’t raid the free tees and ball markers.
First, most golf clubs have a guest section- read that first for dress code, cell phone policy, tipping policy (some clubs are no tip), the ever discussed shoe change in the parking lot.
Next - offer to pay for your guest fee ( or caddy fee if they have them) He might decline which is fine. If that is the case send him a nice bottle of wine or liquor (bourbon/scotch/tequila depending on his preference).
Follow his lead when in the course - rake traps fix ball marks on the green, replace divots or spread sand . Think being a gentleman and not a bro.
Then relax and enjoy the day in the course catching up with your friend. If having a bad hole just pick up. It’s ok.
I am sure others will add anything significant I omitted
If people care, they have nothing better to do than be asshats. Wear comfortable but appropriate clothes. Keep up with pace of play. Don’t throw beer cans all over the course. Most importantly have fun. If some dickwad gives you shit because your socks don’t match or whatever, he has issues at home and is taking it out on you. It’s golf, not a funeral. Have fun and enjoy nature
Honestly, just text him and ask if there are any specific rules you should be aware of that you might not think of since you mostly play public courses, and keep those in mind.
Most of the common ones have been covered here - no hats in the clubhouse, no changing shoes in the parking lot, tuck the shirt, wear proper golf attire, etc.
It's specifics like "do they allow shorts?" or (unlikely but some really bougie clubs do this) "do I need a separate outfit to eat in the clubhouse?" Also ask him what the standard tip rate is for like, cleaning clubs or whatever, if there is one for guests (the one time I've played a nice private course it was considered courtesy to tip the guy who got your bag to the cart, but it wasn't expected of guests)
Etiquette wise, just don't be a dick on the golf course. MOST people aren't going to care if you drive ahead, particularly if you're going to look for a ball. Walking on the putting path is a little bit more egregious, so the way I handle it is to either walk around or take an exaggeratedly large step over anything that could possibly be the line. Also, repair your pitch marks and divots, rake bunkers, etc.
I bet a lot of people would call this overkill. But the only stressful thing to me about what you describe is feeling you are performing against some unknown level of expectation.
I would address that by a quick text. Something polite will get a lot of info. Something like: “looking forward to our round and to catching up. As an fyi, I’m not a very strong player but I will make sure to keep up with pace and your clubs rules. Are there any particular rules I should know in advance?”
That will give them an opportunity to say anything special like no phone calls inside, no hats in the restaurant, etc. it will also assure them that regardless of your game you will be a considerate guest.
I literally just got home from playing a round at a higher end private course. So here’s a few pointers.
Be overly respectful of everyone you come across. Respect is everything. Treat the course like your home and the members like your family.
Don’t worry about your skill level. I’d reckon half the golfers where I play are at least a 10hcp if not higher. Money doesn’t guarantee skill. They’ll have nice equipment but it doesn’t mean you’re gonna be seeing a ton of scratch golfers unless you’re playing somewhere like pine valley lol.
Do not change shoes in the parking lot. Put them in a bag and change in the locker room. Change your shoes directly after the round. Bring a change of clothes if you’d like. I don’t always change if I’m just going to play golf but if I’m hanging out at the clubhouse I prefer clean clothes.
Read up on the clubs dress code. Go to the website. They’ll have guest info. Some clubs are more strict than others. But make sure you’re adhering to dress policy and if you’re unsure about something the answer is no. When in doubt long pants never hurt. No hats in the clubhouse. Even if they don’t mention it… just don’t do it.
Bring $5 bills and tip the bag attendant and anyone cleaning your shoes/clubs. Unless the club specifically says no tipping— their website will say so. At some clubs tipping is a major faux paux but at others it’s expected.
Repair your ball marks, fill your divots, and rake your bunkers. RELIGIOUSLY. To the members, the course is theirs. If that golf course was yours, would you want to make sure it’s in good shape? Filling your divots is pivotal and always repair your ball mark + 1 other that you find on the green. Go out of your way to fulfill these duties. At the very least, take the time to rake your bunkers. If someone behind you hits their ball into an unraked spot they WILL complain to the clubhouse.
Cap your scoring at double par. This is for pace reasons. Also if other members are riding up on your tail, let them play through
Make sure you address the starter before you ted off at 1 or he will hunt you down on the course. This happened today lol
Ultimately follow your friend’s lead. Do what he does and what other people do. Blend in and act like you belong. The folks there may be rich but they’re also just people who enjoy golf just like you. I’m sure there’s many more things I could say but I feel like I covered the basics. I hope you have an awesome experience this weekend and savor it all. Playing on courses this nice is a privilege honestly and no matter how bad my round is going I am always thankful that at least I’m shooting an awful round on an awesome course! Have fun!
Back in the days people used metal spikes that are not that practical to walk in those clubhouses fancy wooden floors. Hybrid shoes that people wear often nowadays dont differ much from normal shoes, some clubs just want to keep following ancient rules.
Tucking in shirts goes to same category with "hats off". Some people just think it looks more appropriate.
I dont agree or disagree these with these rules, thats just how it is.
I will never for the life of me understand how golf went from farmers knocking rocks into holes, to 'tuck in your shirt.'
Not complaining, it's just interesting. It's like Osso Bucco, but a sport.
changing shoes in the parking lot = people hanging out in the parking lot like hicks and drinking from the tailgate of their trucks, that is not country club appropriate. They also have locker rooms for that.
if you cant understand tucking in your shirt because its just the "proper" way to wear your clothes, well than idk what to tell you other than untucked clothing = slob with no cares. Not appropriate.
Nah. If there were no dress code rules, eventually people will start showing up in cut off shorts, wife beater tee shirts or pajamas. Not right away, but people will push the current "norms" of dress and eventually that's where we would end up. This is true everywhere, not just on the golf course. The only way to prevent that is to draw an arbitrary line in the sand. In this case it's a tucked in collared short with a belt. Why they chose to draw the line there? Who knows, but that's what the collective membership of the club decided, and if we choose to join their company we must respect it. Same is true anywhere else in normal society.
Also - is the idea of tucking in a shirt really a bridge to far for many people? Look at pictures from 100 years ago where people wore dress shirts and ties to play golf. It's not gatekeeping, it's just gradual change being kept in check by traditions.
Personally, I'm not that bothered by ultra casual dress, but on the other hand I do appreciate it when people make a little bit of effort to present themselves. I don't think I'm alone in that sentiment.
I change my shoes when I arrive in the parking lot. When I’m done with the round I take my clubs to the car and change my shoes again before heading back to the clubhouse. I only go to the locker room to use the restroom and wash up. The member will pay for food and drinks on his club tab because he probably has a monthly minimum charge anyway. Offer to take him out to a nice lunch on another day to repay him.
lol my brother is a serious golfer and does a couple golf trips a year with long time buddies to famous courses
so after the last round of the trip, 6 rounds 3 days kind of thing, one of his buddies whom he has known for almost 20 years explodes on him at the restaurant how rude he was....
his comment
"you and I are both members of private clubs, you of all people should know and respect tee off honors"
my brother plays ready golf, he hates standing around
wtf
I never liked that guy much, a bit of a self centered self made millionaire type but yeah
Unless I'm playing in a tournament, I generally assume ready golf is an option. That being said, if the tee box is open (whomever has honors are doing something else at the time) and I'm ready, I'll just ask if I can go. I've never ran into a situation where someone said "no" or "respect tee off honors".
Then again, I always ask, which, is the right thing to do.
ready golf is casual modern playing style where it's OK for whoever is ready to hit the ball to go ahead and hit, whether on the tee or green
traditionally, lowest score previous hole is first to tee off and then furthest away hits 2nd shot all the way to completing the hole, that tee off is called having 'honors'
ready golf is the usual on non private courses because so many golfers and stacked tee times don't really allow the traditional courtesies unless you're being an ass and don't mind constipating the course behind you
on private courses it's a thing to agree on which way you're playing
my brother was just 4 dudes playing a destination course who've been friends for years and years
The one that surprised me when I joined my club was: don’t change your shoes in the parking lot. You’re expected to change your shoes in the locker room, even if you are, otherwise, ready to go.
Gonna start off crass and say not paying attention is a CHOICE.
With that said, ignorance is excusable. If you don't know the etiquette, how can someone take offense?
Here's some of the ones that pop into my mind.
1. Don't talk/move around when people are setting up or swinging
2. Fix your divots and pitch marks
3. Don't damage the course intentionally (i.e. slam the wedge head into the ground after you skull one 50 yards over the green lol)
4. Don't drag your feet on the green. This fluffs up the grass.
5. Don't walk in people's lines
6. If there's time, help others look for their ball
7. ALWAYS finish watching your ball. Even if you 99% know where it's going. Anything can take a weird bounce and end up off course.
8. If you're taking a cart be aware that starting it or clicking the brake off makes a loud noise. It could bother soke folks who are hitting near-by. But this one is rare.
9. Be polite
10. If you're not a great player and hit the ball in an area where you're not 100% sure where it landed, employ the gallery rule. Meaning just drop where you think it is if you can't find it after your alotted 3 minutes. I even do this every once in a while if it's a blind shot and I've been playing for 20 years
I'm sure there's more but that's a quick list.
Pay more attention to other players game than yours. This will help you avoid the majorly disrespectful items you mentioned (walking in their line, driving ahead, talking during their shots) and may take some of the pressure off you
I play at my BIL club every once in a while and I make sure I look presentable (shirt tucked in, belt, golf shorts/pants, nothing too loud or gaudy) and take my hat off in the club house. I also don’t wear my golf shoes in the club house, especially after the round, but that’s just more of a me thing than a club rule. Other than that I just follow his lead, and tip staff when appropriate.
Also, a box of Pro v1 or similar tour level ball makes a great thank you gift for your host.
Attire is very important. Shirt tucked in always. No hats in doors unless they say it’s ok. Tip the guys outside. Don’t act like a goober like tossing clubs and yelling profanity. You’re a guest and you are a reflection of the member that took you out so don’t do anything that would embarrass him.
Do some research on the culture of the club beforehand if you can. Some are stuffier than others. I’ve played UT Golf Club a bunch and a lot of the members there just go out, get hammered, play loud music etc. other courses will be very different.
Lots of general info in here on rules that can exist at the club regarding how to dress, lockeroom, etc. The real answer though is just ask the member. Every club is a little different and he'll know the specifics of this one.
Ask your buddy what the tip policy and culture is. Follow this. Also ask him about any key dress code points, clubhouse points, etc and follow those. Ask him about any other thjngs too (for example, some clubs ban cell phones or phone calls on the course, some don’t care).
Actually mind your basic golf etiquette. Actually, start doing that in general, it’s not that hard. Stop walking in people’s lines.
Clothes should be proper golf attire, shirt always tucked in, hat off unless on the course. Do not change shoes anywhere but locker rooms. Shower after round but before eating (if you get food afterwards) change into other golf clothes, tucked in, no hat. This doesnt go for a lot of places but the course I'm a member at (granted its inv only) does not allow phones to be used on the golf course. Also do not play music--if he wants to play some let him but don't do it yourself.
Some other things: if you got invited and he is paying for your round, try to pay him back for drinks or pay his caddie fee (if there are caddies). If he doesnt need either of those things, buy him a shirt. Tip extremely generously, pace of play, etc.
Its going to be nervewracking your first time but dont stress cause everyone has a first time. Enjoy it and make it a fun round
And it helps to remember that it is not a sin to be a bad golfer, it is however a sin to be a slow golfer or rude golfer. Get out of your cart every time with your club in hand ready to hit your shot. If you don’t know which club take two or three with you and decide when you get to your ball. And above all else- try to enjoy the round. Your playing a sport that many people wish they could do
Just play at a good pace. Don’t rush, but don’t be slow either. Also, don’t worry about your score. It’s a new course to you, you’re just there for the experience.
All you need is $ to play at nice fancy courses. There will be many worse golfers than you on the course. Use common sense, keep up the pace of play etc... Things you would do at any club. Might want to bring some cash to tip cart staff etc. That's only difference.
>riding ahead of people shooting shots
If you aren't in their way or moving in their sight line while they are swinging then this is not bad etiquette. Please drive to your ball instead of waiting on the farthest out person to hit. At least 90% of the time I'm stuck between a slow group it's because 2 carts are waiting on one person to hit before the other cart drives to their ball.
I used to belong to Oak Hill, it was a perk for my dads job when I was in high school...country club etiquette is not all that different from public golf other then be aware of pace play, know when to give up on a lost ball, know when to pick up and give yourself a triple bogey. Have fun. Otherwise dress appropriate, collard shirt tucked in, and while every club is different assume that most employees are under paid and tips are appreciated if not expected
Look where people are, watch their shots. You should have an idea where everyone lies either on or off the green. That way you'll know where they marked their balls and you won't walk in their line.
Also, if someone is putting, stand at their 12 or 6 on a clock. Don't stand 3 or 9, i.e. in their periphery. That's etiquette 102 but missed by a lot of 'hacks'.
Unless you're much older, use one leg to bend down and pick up ball / tee up. The two legged squatted is a peasant look. You want to pick it up like the pros. Can practice at home. It's not hard.
Don’t take this the wrong way and I’m
not trying to be insulting but as a golfer how do you not know basic golf etiquette? How did you learn to golf? Were you taught? Were you not taught the etiquette part or did you not want to learn at the time?
I'm curious about your experience learning golf and the etiquette that goes along with the game. Golf has many traditions and unwritten rules that experienced players try to follow. If you're newer to the game or didn't have formal lessons, it's understandable that you may not be aware of all the etiquette yet.
My two pieces of advice for beginners are first to absolutely resist constantly apologizing nonstop for hitting bad shots. No one is offended if you don't play well, but apologizing too much becomes awkward and distracting.
Second, do not rush your shots. Rushing shots leads to bad shots, which lead to negativity and more bad shots. Always be ready to hit when it is your turn - have your glove on, ball and tee in hand, and your club selected. My brother in law is always sitting in his cart eating when everyone else has teed off, and we get to watch him slowly prepare himself, and it's infuriating. The advantage to being ready is that you can relax and hit your shot naturally instead of rushing it and hitting it poorly.
bring tip money this time. a bunch of 5s wear a belt, tuck in your shirt, don't wear your hat inside. when you order drinks at the bar that will go on your buddy's tab there - pay him for those at some point Fill your divots, fix pitch marks, go with the flow. If they're drinking, your drinking. If they're pretty sober...well dont get too crazy. You've got it. don't worry about your at best 90's game. Just don't take forever trying to look for a ball you know is probably OB and keep it fun
The response I needed to read. Thanks!
Also keep your hat forward. Change shoes in locker room before & after round.
I've seen the shoes thing a few times now. I don't have a lot of private course experience, but have played a few times at a course where my nephew is a member. I've always changed my shoes at the car. What's the big deal on shoes?
You change your shoes immediately before you play and immediately after you play so you don't track in mud and your spikes don't fuck up the expensive flooring and carpets. You do it in the clubhouse locker room because what, are you some kind of lowlife swine who doesn't think this esteemed establishment has provided a comfortable locker room with a wealth of amenities? Most etiquette rules are a mix between a practical reason that existed at the time the rule was created and proving that you aren't an unrefined pleb who doesn't know the rules.
Also the obvious is that people clap their mud out i the parking lot (which i am guilty of at munis)
I clap mud in the parking lot all the time at my course and I don't even play golf
Clapping mud is my new sexual innuendo
Found the cart girl’s loser boyfriend Beau.
Re: clapping mud out, buddy’s club has an air compressor at bag drop to clean your shoes off. Blew my mind when I saw it
Clapping mud out OUTSIDE being a reason people get mad is funny to me
This is funny. They’re an integral part of the golf course in the UK. Couldn’t live without one.
The air compressor is the ultimate amenity of any course.
When I played at Spyglass Hill last year, they have one as well. Except someone does it for you. I used my electric pushcart for the round and he blasted that as well. He also blasted the inside of my shoes and made me giggle like mad lol.
This feels like a stupid question. Are you supposed to bring a padlock for the locker you keep your shoes in during the round? How does that work?
no, not at the proper private club. I won't get into where I play or what exactly is in there, but my locker remains unlocked at all times (and yes I have a key). 20+ years nothing has been taken. So, for the cautious and the better private clubs, they'll assign you a guest locker and it likely will have the key dangling in the lock.
Pretty much the same. The only time I lock my locker is when I leave my watch and wedding ring in it. Just too expensive/sentimental to chance it, even though I've never had anything taken. If it's just shoes, balls, whatever, it stay unlocked.
It sounds like you play golf in Area 51
Keep your shoes warm and humid for about a week before you play, you'll find that nature has a way of working these things out.
Eh depends on the club really. I play regularly at three private clubs and we all put on shoes by our by our car (members included). I'd be more focused on making sure my shoes are clean of mud, grass, debris, before walking into the club.
Exactly. Common sense.
Simply, it’s a step closer to people changing *shirts* in the parking lot. So the etiquette is, if you are going to disrobe in *any* manner, do it inside the space designated for it (the locker room). Just arrive 5 minutes earlier.
It’s only a big deal to old schoolers or new members drinking the koolaid. Just another way to gatekeep. I 100% support rules of etiquette that serve a legitimate purpose (tipping staff, replacing divots, keeping pace), but the stuff where the only purpose is to make people feel superior is ridiculous. But the members make the rules so if that’s the vibe they want at their club then I hope they have fun constantly finding reasons to complain.
It’s a private club, it’s built on gate keeping.
>Just another way to gatekeep Yes, we use the shoe rule to gatekeep. Not the $100k downstroke and $20k annual dues. The definition of a *private country club* is gatekeeping. Hence the "Members Only" sign at the end of the driveway (or, literal gate).
You think you're dunking on the guy but you're just reinforcing his point
Not really, they're just talking past each other. One is saying "Gatekeeping is bad" and the other is saying "The entire purpose of this environment and the people in it is to gatekeep other people." The first person cannot see the second person's point, because they're stuck on the "it's bad" part and the second cannot see the first's point, because they're stuck on the "it's the whole thing I like" part.
I understand what he's getting at. I'm not trying to gatekeep golf in general. Just saying, a private club is already 'gatekept' by default, I think it's a bit dumb to say the shoe rule is somehow gatekeeping within this already 'gatekept' and pretty privileged place.
It’s an attempt to keep things civilized. We all have the ability to act just a little bit more formal. Wearing your hat forward and changing shoes in the locker Room is not too big a stretch. Just be respectful. Why can’t people just do that for a short period of time.
Don’t worry about your score. Just play smart and keep up with their pace. When I joined a CC a few years ago, the club has a rule to have shirt tucked in the pro shop, driving range and while playing. At first, I was annoyed because the club isn’t in a nice part of town. Not a terrible part but very middle class. After being there for a while now, I get most of the rules and don’t have a problem following them. If you wanna stand out and be kinda goofy, just get those crazy color shirt/shorts/hat combos some of the guys wear. Other than that, we keep it pretty civilized out there. Plenty of drinking and smoking around the course, but we respect the course and other golfers.
You are looking at this from the wrong perspective, trying to hard to find faults. Many clubs want you to change shoes in the locker room as it gives the staff an opportunity to clean your shoes before the round. They do this to protect the course from people tracking in weed seeds, fungus, and other grass diseases that ride in on your shoes. And it keeps the parking lot from being a mess from people banging the mud out of their cleats at the end of a round.
Not all clubs care. Last nice club I went to the members told me to put my shoes on in the parking lot because he didn’t feel like walking to the locker room. Probably more for the 100k+ clubs
Just because the course is high end doesn’t mean people are good. There are plenty of rich hackers out there. If you keep to the etiquette suggestions and are fun to hang out with shooting poorly won’t be a big deal
In my experience the more exclusive the course the lower the level of play among members, at least in the uk. Loch lomond for example, hackers paradise. Play the part, that's all they are doing. You can look up uk clubs on howdidido.com and see their handicap list. Most prestigious clubs will have only a couple of plus handicaps and a few scratch.
This. Plenty of 20-30 hdcp old guys at these clubs.
Ask your host about tipping. I’m a member of a non-tipping club and it would be awkward if you took out a wad of cash.
Al Cervick
Also, offer to reimburse him for your green fee. Bringing a guest on a private course can get very pricey. Other than that, just go with the flow. Don’t worry about your score, I’m a member at a private club and we have a lot of members who can’t break 100.
Ask your colleague if there is tipping at the course. Some higher end clubs do not allow tipping, and will fire an employee if they are caught accepting tips.
Also check rules on cell phone use before whipping it out to take a picture or something.
Also put the phone away, I leave mine in my bag when I play at a private place
Put it on mute first.
Adding to this with a few mistakes I’ve made in the past and learned from. Don’t change your shoes in the parking lot, use the locker room. Don’t carry your own bag to the clubhouse. You can drop it off upon arrival at the bag drop area for the employees to take, or simply set them outside your car when you park. Offer to the member to tip the caddie if y’all have one, or at least contribute to the caddie tip. Usually the member has to pay a guest fee for your round so I think it’s a nice gesture to offer this. I would advise against playing music, although I’ve seen some private course members have music playing at lower volumes before. If you REALLY want music, maybe bring wireless earbuds and only put one in. If they have snack stations, don’t load up like it’s a free grocery store… that is tacky. Take what you need that will hold you over a few holes, and that’s it. Golf specifically: be in good spirits and a good sport. Those are always the best types of people to play with. Good or bad at golf, just be nice and enjoy it.
Agreed, absolutely do not change shoes in the parking lot. Attempt to tip wherever you can, they might not take it but try for the guys handling your clubs, cleaning them, shoe guys. If the member plays music, cool. Don’t bring your own or expect it at all. IMO an ear bud would be beyond rude or weird depending on the guy. Possibly bring a small duffel with your shoes and a change of clothes(can be golf attire) if you think you’ll be eating after. He should give you a heads up if that’s expected. Shoe cleaning post round is a thing, so do it if you are hanging around after the round. Bring loafers or some closed toe shoe- no one in the club house wants to see your feet in flip flops. Enjoy the little things- that’s the best part about private clubs outside the course itself.
Belong to 3 “high end” private clubs in two different states. Played as a guest at countless others. Have never been blinked at changing shoes in the lot. Obviously individual clubs have their idiosyncrasies (Kansas City CC, for example, requires high socks when wearing shorts), but I consistently see people spout this as some kind of “golden rule” at all private clubs - has not been my experience. To each their own though, understand (and encourage) folks erring on the conservative side.
> (Kansas City CC, for example, requires high socks when wearing shorts) The zoomers are already running country clubs apparently
That’s a big deal in Australia. Never seen the socks thing in the USA
Agreed - I belong to a very high end club with multiple courses. I see people changing their shoes in the parking lots all the time. Not every club is the LA country club
What the hell is this ‘playing music’ thing?! Who plays music on a golf course? Surely the time in between shots you’re talking to your playing partners?
I see you've never played with [Al Czervik](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BZ4hH-UZqk)
Note that at some high end clubs the caddies only get paid from the tips. So if this club has caddies that don't get paid otherwise, they may be expecting a 100 or 200 dollar tip.
Some cubs are cash free and a service fee is added to everything you purchase.... I would honestly just ask the member - "Hey, what's the protocol on tipping around here, I know it varies from club to club?"
I don’t love the “if they’re drinking, you’re drinking.” I am sober & I’ve never felt the need to drink just because who I’m playing with is drinking. A simple, “no, I’m okay I don’t drink” has always been enough. Furthermore, when I was a drinker, I never thought someone playing with me had to drink because I was drinking.
yeah man self explanatory. good on you for being sober.
Agreed. My declining has never once turned a head
Is wearing a hat indoors that big a deal? My hair is usually a sweaty mess, and I'd be a little embarrassed to remove it indoors. But, I guess I'd rather be embarrassed by my bad hair than get side eyed for keeping my hat on after a round.
yeah pretty much. I have long hair too. putt it up or just rock it. it is what it is. You likely will just get told by staff to take it off if you try to ask for .... anything.
Ha, my hair isn't actually even that long, just gets very messy. Point taken though.
Put a comb in your bag. Also, everyone is a sweaty mess after 18 in the summer.
Yes. It’s a big deal.
It definitely is at some clubs. But I would venture a guess that it’s about 50-50. To be safe, yes should take it off. But I feel like this rule and line of thinking is pretty quickly going away.
Some clubs are fine with a hat when you are in the bar area - but not the restaurant. You might ask your playing partner what the rules are for his/her club.
I don’t personally think it is. But at the nicest clubs I’ve played it’s an explicit rule…if you walk in with 1 you’ll get a reminder pretty soon to take it off. I personally think it’s a little stuffy…but to some places it’s a clear rule.
I mean generally wearing a hat indoors is viewed as disrespectful. Especially to older people.
The locker room usually has a full spread of hair products and combs, you could try and freshen up there.
Spot on dude! I’ve been playing 56 years, played high school, and college competitively, and caddied and worked at a club when I was a kid and belonged to a private club as an adult. You nailed it. Golf is a game of self governance and that seamlessly teaches etiquette.
In a cashless society, guest always forget to tip at courses. It goes a long way tipping the folks around the course who are cleaning your clubs, assisting with your bags, locker room attendants etc. - and a small action like that will get you invited back. Take care of the people working there and allowing you to have what is undoubtably a privileged experience.
Don't let society become cashless. Use cash.
Perfect summary.
Don't wear cargo shorts, regular golf shorts with a belt. Keep your shirt tucked in. Be anal about fixing pitch marks and divots. A co worker is a member at a club and he says most of the club drama is about not repairing ball marks
Keep pace and pick up after like six or seven shots on any hole. Just take an 8 and move on. Better players don’t care as long as everyone is moving well.
yeah just play double par max
True. Keep the pace, don't get in anyone else's way or talk while people are shooting. Fix your ball marks when needed, rake the trap quickly if you hit into them Just common sense courtesy, and you'll be fine. Enjoy the views
I can confirm. We get emails like 3 times a week from GM/super about ball marks lol
Hat off in the clubhouse is also a thing
Also keep it simple on the colors and patterns. I had a buddy show up to my club in [camo golf shorts](https://www.johnnie-o.com/products/claymore-jbsh1980-23sp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=17593791339&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw-O6zBhASEiwAOHeGxdtWMcZAF8VWZj46npBJt4bxFRv34sJMZ33k1lNznhGPsK1A2SdQMRoC2gcQAvD_BwE&variant=42049072595119). Not against the rules per se, but not the best look for a guest at a higher end country club. OP doesn't need to go out and buy a bunch of new Peter Millar gear, he just shouldn't wear his Loudmouth Golf shorts, leave his straight brim hat at home, and clean his shoes before showing up.
So what you’re saying is not to bring my shirt from Dan Flashes. Too complicated?
It’s expensive because the pattern is so complicated.
SHUT THE FUCK UP DOUG!
Whoo boy, I’m gonna have to wait until my next per diem to play then
Straight brim hats should be left at home regardless of the setting.
In addition to repairing your ball marks I think best thing is to repair ball marks in greens that are NOT yours. I repair 2-6 ball marks per green on a busy course in a round. This always impresses playing partners I don’t know. It’s actually the best thing you can do for the course really. However I’m also a 10 handicap and play fast so I always have time around the greens as others are getting on. If you’re a slower player just keep up the pace and know when to pick up.
Good greens karma. Build it up. I try to repair at least 1 more than mine. If I chip onto the green I’ll normally find one and repair it.
I chalk them up to the old timers that can’t bend down to repair them so we take care of our boomer golfers one more time. 🤣🤣
Some places don’t even allow shorts so I’d just confirm that first.
I would never join a club that required pants to be worn on the course. Absolutely a deal breaker for me.
Absolutely no way I'm wearing pants when it's 90 degrees out with 110% humidity. Ain't happening. I'm a fat guy.
I've never seen one but I have seen plenty of rules on shorts length, sock type, and no logos on shirts
Completely agreed. But there's one near me where I've played as a guest.
Fortunately few and far between these days
I’ve experienced same.
Fix yours, and one more. Don't make one? Fix one if you see it. People notice.
I don’t think I’ve ever tucked my shirt in anywhere. People probably think I’m a scumbag
There are some very high end clubs where guests are discouraged from wearing shorts.
Know what you’re pulling from your bag within 10 secs of your previous shot. Put your clubs back in the right slots in your bag so you don’t get mixed up. Always have at least 3 balls in your pocket, lots of tees, and a coin or marker in your back left pocket. Stay behind people on the green. Don’t ask if they need you to mark it, just walk up after your putt and mark it.
I’ve played with some old school golfers at their fancy club. They were hackers. Could not hit the fairway. Don’t let big $$$ make you think that means good golfers. The fact you are asking and concerned shows you’re mature enough to know what you are walking into. Don’t be intimidated, which is hard to do.
This flipside of this is that some people are absolute sticks at their own club and can't play well anywhere else. Country club handicaps rarely travel well.
This is very true. I play 99% of my rounds at my course and my handicap is so fraudulent when I go elsehwere.
When I started getting serious about my handicap was years ago when I moved close to a muni. The fairways slosh, the greens are tiny, unpruned trees play defense on approach shots, and if you miss a fairway chances are good you’ve lost your ball in thick underbrush (there is no rough to speak of). So any other course I play is pretty much Augusta national, and as a result the “A” differentials pretty much dominate my handicap card.
I have the opposite problem. I play a shitload of rounds at my course (as it's quite literally in my backyard) and I tend to shoot better at other courses. Maybe it's because I think about my shots more and try better course management.
knowing the course really really well is just so huge though.
My buddy is a pro at a high end club(60-100k initiation fee). He said most members are terrible and probably should be golfing at all lol.
What is terrible by his standards? 100? 110? 120?
I heard one of them once shot an 81 and they kicked him out the next day.
True but most folks at clubs re serious golfers. Not good, as you say, but they take care of the course, play by the rules, they use good golf etiquette, etc.
I'd agree with take care of the course. The rest is up for interpretation. I've finished a round at my club with a seven-some. Where we were teeing off of Tall Cans of Bud or Coors Light and drinking brown party liquor for every birdie.
Yeah, rich dudes suck at golf, too.
#1 rule is "Don't be a dick." For everything else, just ask you colleague. Every club has a different culture. Most of the advice others has provided is good, but doesn't apply to all clubs. For example, mine has a no tipping policy and could not care less about changing shoes in the parking lot. I'd also ask your colleague what the guest fee is. It's a soft way to ask if they want you to pay for anything. When I bring a guest to my club, I don't expect them to spend a dime. But everyone is different.
Tell your buddy: hey, I don’t want to embarrass you, so just tell me if I’m doing something wrong please… You seem to know most of the etiquette stuff, so just pay attention. Be ready when it’s your turn to hit. Don’t move while other people are hitting Pay attention to where everyone is on the green and don’t walk on their lines. Be grateful to the host, tip the staff, buy a hat… have fun out there.
This. Just tell him that you’ve never played at a private club and ask him if there’s anything you should know. Just have fun. If the course is anything like the private course in my town, you are in for a treat. Almost all the public courses here are crap compared to the worst private course.
Yes! Came here for this….ask for help if ya need it and generally be cool. If anyone has an issue with someone trying then they can get fucked IMO
Shoes and shirts off in the members bar if it's a warm day. As a guest you'll be expected to lead and take yours off first, it's a sign to the members that they can relax and be a bit less formal in your presence. Goes without saying that if it's your first time you're obliged to kiss the hand of the club captain when he enters the clubhouse.
We have the same thing at our club. We also ask our guests to sing their college fight song to the starter as they make their way to the first tee. And if no college, then you can use We Are the World as a fill-in.
Look on the club's website and see if they have a "guest information" and/or dress code section. I'm guessing your colleague isn't overly stuffy like the second coming of Judge Smails, otherwise you wouldn't have offered to play with him, so just be friendly and positive and I'm sure you'll be fine.
This is good advice. They will definitely have a guest information part of website.
One thing I didn’t see mentioned is enter bunkers at a low point so as not to destroy the sand slopes at steeper spots. The caddy will rake for you but it’s a nice move to bring a rake to where you enter.
After the round is done, shake hands with your hat off! If you suck, suck fast! Don’t walk on anyone’s line on the green! Smack talk when the player is doing well!
One other thing not mentioned is to keep up with pace of play. You don't need to be a great golfer to play fast, you just need to be efficient while you're out there. Some private courses expect 4 hour rounds so take queues from peeps in your group on pace, be ready to hit when it's your turn, take an appropriate amount of time reading your putts, looking for lost balls, etc. Have a blast!
This is very important
I belong to two very nice private clubs. Ask your friend about tipping. Mine don’t allow it. It is factored into the dues. If it is, bring some $5’s. Check on the cellphone policy. One of my clubs is highly restricted and monitored. As someone mentioned, check about food and drink. One place takes outside cards upfront and allows you to sign for stuff. The other is member number only.
Why don’t you just tell your retired colleague that you recently got into the game and would like his help learning some etiquette as you guys play. He will appreciate you asking and probably enjoy showing you the ropes.
Don’t forget to wear shorts with deep pockets so you can fill your fucking pockets with tees, ball markers and repair tools 😅😅
I joined a private club last year, I don't know why, but for some reason the thing that makes me the happiest is the giant box of free tees in front of the pro-shop door. They are the unbreakable plastic ones too, so one large handful lasts a lifetime.
My wife now has a shoebox overflowing with tees from the club
Definitely cover the guest fee if there is one and bring tip/drink cart money. Other than that just keep up with the pace of play and fill in divots.
If the person that invited you tells you not to worry about the guest fee (he may get to bring a few guests for free each year), ask if you can buy the first round of drinks.
Dude there is not cart girls at private country clubs. You sign a form to charge it to the member’s number and it gets billed to the account. 99/100 country clubs are cashless clubs and no credit cards
As someone who married into a private country club family, sure it’s all charged to my in-laws account, but there are still cart girls and still cash to tip. In fact, usually the tip is hoping that the cart girl comes back sooner for drinks. Cart girls, bartenders, kids cleaning your clubs will all still happily take the cash.
the club my FIL belongs to, last time we were there I finally managed to convince a bartender to let me pay credit for a few evening drinks, basically said my FIL didn't need to buy me a nightcap and the bartender chuckled and found a card reader. But yeah, generally speaking everything gets charged to the member.
I played with some guys that owned a freaking gold mining company (literally) at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs once. Just tipped the guys that handled the bags, had a few drinks, was respectful, but nothing insanely different from how I usually play. If you are having a good time, are keeping pace, and aren't being obnoxious, you'll be just fine!
Fill your pockets with the free tees and ball markers. The club gets rebates the more they order these things, so two handfuls of each should suffice as your contribution to their rebates
My family plays at a private country club and I think the best advice is to play fast. People at pay club money so that they don’t have to sit at a tee box waiting for the next party for over 10 minutes.
Some of the advice already given will depend on the culture of the club your friend belongs too. I'm part of a club that is very laid back and relaxed, and a lot of the suggestions wouldn't fly there. As an example, if you leave your bag at the drop off spot, don't expect it to end up on the back of the cart by itself. It's not moving from that spot until YOU move it. Also, go ahead and change your shoes in the parking lot. No sense making you carry an extra pair into the locker room. Shirts do need to be tucked in though. Now I have played other courses where I'd get a real dirty look if I had the gall to carry my own bag from my car so it's always best to find out what those rules are ahead of time. Ask your colleague, he can tell you better than Reddit can. Let me address something else though - it sounds like sometimes you are not focused on the "playing etiquette" during the round itself. I have the same problem, I sometimes get so focused on my own swing thoughts that I'm oblivious to the other 3 people in my foursome. I'd suggest you mention that you your colleague right up front and explain it to him in that way. Then just ask him to sort of be your "minder" and let you know if you are doing anything wrong. That way if he does see anything that "looks off", he wont feel awkward about giving you a little correction. One last tidbit that I've noticed since joining a private - nobody really cares how good or bad you are at actual golf. Most people are just out there to enjoy the day and don't want that ruined by someone who ruins the vice. Just be a pleasant person to be around for a few hours, even if you are having the worst round of your life. Nothing wrecks the vibe more than someone getting angry over their bad shots or pouting about their score.
I’ve been a member since the late 80s. Rule 1 is to have fun. Rule 2 is to have fun! Some stuff that may help - nobody cares what your score is. The important thing is to play fast. If you’re over 8 and you’re not in the green, just pick up for that hole. Ask the member if you’re responsible for your green fees. If so, pay him in cash before you start. Ask if you’re playing match play or stroke play rules. Most private golf is match play. I love match play! Ask the member for tipping advice. Caddies are awesome but expensive. Make sure you know if you’re walking, caddies, or carts ahead of time Be sure to adhere to the dress code. Just wear a nice shirt and don’t warmer jeans or cargo shorts. Get there early. Take advantage of the range and practice area. Buy yourself a shirt or hat in the pro shot. Everyone there is in your side. They want you to have a great day. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Play fast. Play fast. Play fast. You will likely be expected to play in under 4 hours. Exceeding this can result in a letter to your member, so play fast. Expect to have drinks or food after the round. If you want great day, bring a change of clothes and take a shower after golf
What a considerate friend you are asking do’s and don’t’s on Reddit beforehand! I respect you for trying not to get your friend in any potential trouble. Hope you enjoy the round. Cheers man!
I’m kind of wondering if half the people on here have ever even seen a private course.
Wear a shirt with a collar and please, please, tuck that shirt in! Don’t wear a hat in the clubhouse.
Didn’t know about the no hat in clubhouse. Good to know!
Shirts off, music blasting on portable speaker, beer cans left on greens…anything I miss?
Club drama about not filling divots? Lol like guys don’t like other guys because Jim forgot to fill his 8 iron divot on 3? Keep me away from that club
Take all of their free tees. All of them. Don't worry about buying anymore this summer
Dress in proper golf attire. Sneakers are ok if you dont have golf shoes. If he offered to bring you as a guest, he is likely going to cover the guest fee (can be anywhere from $100 to god knows what depending on the course). Offer to pick up lunch/drinks after as a thank you. Plenty of members will be at your same level of golf so dont worry about that. Just take note if youre slowing things down or if you guys arent keeping up to the next group. Def have cash on hand for tips or buying drinks from the cart girl. HAVE FUN. Don't stress about it.
Members are usually not allowed to tip, but guests are EXPECTED to tip. Have fun and enjoy the time outdoors.
As someone who worked at a club for years where members could tip, far too many members thought they couldn’t. If you can tip your bag staff please do!
This is not true at all. I’ve played 20-30 private country clubs and you should simply bring cash and ask the member for etiquette at all times.
Fill your fairway divots! Some of those old guys will get on you big for not using your dirt cannisters.
Just act like a guest? Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do as a guest at someone’s house. -Keep up pace -Fix divots and pitch marks -Don’t be loud and vulgar -Take your hat off when when shaking hands after the round and any time you’re inside the clubhouse -Don’t raid the free tees and ball markers.
This should honestly just be a pinned thread at this point because this question gets asked frequently.
Don’t change in the parking lot. Bring a shoe bag, or back pack and change in the locker room
First, most golf clubs have a guest section- read that first for dress code, cell phone policy, tipping policy (some clubs are no tip), the ever discussed shoe change in the parking lot. Next - offer to pay for your guest fee ( or caddy fee if they have them) He might decline which is fine. If that is the case send him a nice bottle of wine or liquor (bourbon/scotch/tequila depending on his preference). Follow his lead when in the course - rake traps fix ball marks on the green, replace divots or spread sand . Think being a gentleman and not a bro. Then relax and enjoy the day in the course catching up with your friend. If having a bad hole just pick up. It’s ok. I am sure others will add anything significant I omitted
If people care, they have nothing better to do than be asshats. Wear comfortable but appropriate clothes. Keep up with pace of play. Don’t throw beer cans all over the course. Most importantly have fun. If some dickwad gives you shit because your socks don’t match or whatever, he has issues at home and is taking it out on you. It’s golf, not a funeral. Have fun and enjoy nature
Honestly, just text him and ask if there are any specific rules you should be aware of that you might not think of since you mostly play public courses, and keep those in mind. Most of the common ones have been covered here - no hats in the clubhouse, no changing shoes in the parking lot, tuck the shirt, wear proper golf attire, etc. It's specifics like "do they allow shorts?" or (unlikely but some really bougie clubs do this) "do I need a separate outfit to eat in the clubhouse?" Also ask him what the standard tip rate is for like, cleaning clubs or whatever, if there is one for guests (the one time I've played a nice private course it was considered courtesy to tip the guy who got your bag to the cart, but it wasn't expected of guests) Etiquette wise, just don't be a dick on the golf course. MOST people aren't going to care if you drive ahead, particularly if you're going to look for a ball. Walking on the putting path is a little bit more egregious, so the way I handle it is to either walk around or take an exaggeratedly large step over anything that could possibly be the line. Also, repair your pitch marks and divots, rake bunkers, etc.
I bet a lot of people would call this overkill. But the only stressful thing to me about what you describe is feeling you are performing against some unknown level of expectation. I would address that by a quick text. Something polite will get a lot of info. Something like: “looking forward to our round and to catching up. As an fyi, I’m not a very strong player but I will make sure to keep up with pace and your clubs rules. Are there any particular rules I should know in advance?” That will give them an opportunity to say anything special like no phone calls inside, no hats in the restaurant, etc. it will also assure them that regardless of your game you will be a considerate guest.
^this is great advice
I literally just got home from playing a round at a higher end private course. So here’s a few pointers. Be overly respectful of everyone you come across. Respect is everything. Treat the course like your home and the members like your family. Don’t worry about your skill level. I’d reckon half the golfers where I play are at least a 10hcp if not higher. Money doesn’t guarantee skill. They’ll have nice equipment but it doesn’t mean you’re gonna be seeing a ton of scratch golfers unless you’re playing somewhere like pine valley lol. Do not change shoes in the parking lot. Put them in a bag and change in the locker room. Change your shoes directly after the round. Bring a change of clothes if you’d like. I don’t always change if I’m just going to play golf but if I’m hanging out at the clubhouse I prefer clean clothes. Read up on the clubs dress code. Go to the website. They’ll have guest info. Some clubs are more strict than others. But make sure you’re adhering to dress policy and if you’re unsure about something the answer is no. When in doubt long pants never hurt. No hats in the clubhouse. Even if they don’t mention it… just don’t do it. Bring $5 bills and tip the bag attendant and anyone cleaning your shoes/clubs. Unless the club specifically says no tipping— their website will say so. At some clubs tipping is a major faux paux but at others it’s expected. Repair your ball marks, fill your divots, and rake your bunkers. RELIGIOUSLY. To the members, the course is theirs. If that golf course was yours, would you want to make sure it’s in good shape? Filling your divots is pivotal and always repair your ball mark + 1 other that you find on the green. Go out of your way to fulfill these duties. At the very least, take the time to rake your bunkers. If someone behind you hits their ball into an unraked spot they WILL complain to the clubhouse. Cap your scoring at double par. This is for pace reasons. Also if other members are riding up on your tail, let them play through Make sure you address the starter before you ted off at 1 or he will hunt you down on the course. This happened today lol Ultimately follow your friend’s lead. Do what he does and what other people do. Blend in and act like you belong. The folks there may be rich but they’re also just people who enjoy golf just like you. I’m sure there’s many more things I could say but I feel like I covered the basics. I hope you have an awesome experience this weekend and savor it all. Playing on courses this nice is a privilege honestly and no matter how bad my round is going I am always thankful that at least I’m shooting an awful round on an awesome course! Have fun!
Pardon me but, can some one explain why "changing shoes in the parking lot" and "tuck in your shirt" are such big thing?
Back in the days people used metal spikes that are not that practical to walk in those clubhouses fancy wooden floors. Hybrid shoes that people wear often nowadays dont differ much from normal shoes, some clubs just want to keep following ancient rules. Tucking in shirts goes to same category with "hats off". Some people just think it looks more appropriate. I dont agree or disagree these with these rules, thats just how it is.
I will never for the life of me understand how golf went from farmers knocking rocks into holes, to 'tuck in your shirt.' Not complaining, it's just interesting. It's like Osso Bucco, but a sport.
changing shoes in the parking lot = people hanging out in the parking lot like hicks and drinking from the tailgate of their trucks, that is not country club appropriate. They also have locker rooms for that. if you cant understand tucking in your shirt because its just the "proper" way to wear your clothes, well than idk what to tell you other than untucked clothing = slob with no cares. Not appropriate.
It’s gatekeeping.
I’m a member ar a very nice club. I actually drive to the club in my spikeless Ecco’s
Nah. If there were no dress code rules, eventually people will start showing up in cut off shorts, wife beater tee shirts or pajamas. Not right away, but people will push the current "norms" of dress and eventually that's where we would end up. This is true everywhere, not just on the golf course. The only way to prevent that is to draw an arbitrary line in the sand. In this case it's a tucked in collared short with a belt. Why they chose to draw the line there? Who knows, but that's what the collective membership of the club decided, and if we choose to join their company we must respect it. Same is true anywhere else in normal society. Also - is the idea of tucking in a shirt really a bridge to far for many people? Look at pictures from 100 years ago where people wore dress shirts and ties to play golf. It's not gatekeeping, it's just gradual change being kept in check by traditions. Personally, I'm not that bothered by ultra casual dress, but on the other hand I do appreciate it when people make a little bit of effort to present themselves. I don't think I'm alone in that sentiment.
A couple of years before that, players would have a herd of sheep with them.
Leave your phone in the car
I change my shoes when I arrive in the parking lot. When I’m done with the round I take my clubs to the car and change my shoes again before heading back to the clubhouse. I only go to the locker room to use the restroom and wash up. The member will pay for food and drinks on his club tab because he probably has a monthly minimum charge anyway. Offer to take him out to a nice lunch on another day to repay him.
lol my brother is a serious golfer and does a couple golf trips a year with long time buddies to famous courses so after the last round of the trip, 6 rounds 3 days kind of thing, one of his buddies whom he has known for almost 20 years explodes on him at the restaurant how rude he was.... his comment "you and I are both members of private clubs, you of all people should know and respect tee off honors" my brother plays ready golf, he hates standing around wtf I never liked that guy much, a bit of a self centered self made millionaire type but yeah
Unless I'm playing in a tournament, I generally assume ready golf is an option. That being said, if the tee box is open (whomever has honors are doing something else at the time) and I'm ready, I'll just ask if I can go. I've never ran into a situation where someone said "no" or "respect tee off honors". Then again, I always ask, which, is the right thing to do.
Honors is fine if you're not making people wait, but if I have to wait for you I'm teeing off. Honors is one of the dumbest things in golf.
What are tee off honors and ready golf
ready golf is casual modern playing style where it's OK for whoever is ready to hit the ball to go ahead and hit, whether on the tee or green traditionally, lowest score previous hole is first to tee off and then furthest away hits 2nd shot all the way to completing the hole, that tee off is called having 'honors' ready golf is the usual on non private courses because so many golfers and stacked tee times don't really allow the traditional courtesies unless you're being an ass and don't mind constipating the course behind you on private courses it's a thing to agree on which way you're playing my brother was just 4 dudes playing a destination course who've been friends for years and years
They say not to change your shoes in the parking lot but it's actually a big flex to bring your own slave and make them change your shoes and socks.
The one that surprised me when I joined my club was: don’t change your shoes in the parking lot. You’re expected to change your shoes in the locker room, even if you are, otherwise, ready to go.
Gonna start off crass and say not paying attention is a CHOICE. With that said, ignorance is excusable. If you don't know the etiquette, how can someone take offense? Here's some of the ones that pop into my mind. 1. Don't talk/move around when people are setting up or swinging 2. Fix your divots and pitch marks 3. Don't damage the course intentionally (i.e. slam the wedge head into the ground after you skull one 50 yards over the green lol) 4. Don't drag your feet on the green. This fluffs up the grass. 5. Don't walk in people's lines 6. If there's time, help others look for their ball 7. ALWAYS finish watching your ball. Even if you 99% know where it's going. Anything can take a weird bounce and end up off course. 8. If you're taking a cart be aware that starting it or clicking the brake off makes a loud noise. It could bother soke folks who are hitting near-by. But this one is rare. 9. Be polite 10. If you're not a great player and hit the ball in an area where you're not 100% sure where it landed, employ the gallery rule. Meaning just drop where you think it is if you can't find it after your alotted 3 minutes. I even do this every once in a while if it's a blind shot and I've been playing for 20 years I'm sure there's more but that's a quick list.
Play quickly. Be ready when it's your turn. Don't take 20 practice swings.
Pay more attention to other players game than yours. This will help you avoid the majorly disrespectful items you mentioned (walking in their line, driving ahead, talking during their shots) and may take some of the pressure off you
Watch caddy shack and pick your poison before you tip off LOL 😂
I play at my BIL club every once in a while and I make sure I look presentable (shirt tucked in, belt, golf shorts/pants, nothing too loud or gaudy) and take my hat off in the club house. I also don’t wear my golf shoes in the club house, especially after the round, but that’s just more of a me thing than a club rule. Other than that I just follow his lead, and tip staff when appropriate. Also, a box of Pro v1 or similar tour level ball makes a great thank you gift for your host.
Attire is very important. Shirt tucked in always. No hats in doors unless they say it’s ok. Tip the guys outside. Don’t act like a goober like tossing clubs and yelling profanity. You’re a guest and you are a reflection of the member that took you out so don’t do anything that would embarrass him.
Do some research on the culture of the club beforehand if you can. Some are stuffier than others. I’ve played UT Golf Club a bunch and a lot of the members there just go out, get hammered, play loud music etc. other courses will be very different.
Lots of general info in here on rules that can exist at the club regarding how to dress, lockeroom, etc. The real answer though is just ask the member. Every club is a little different and he'll know the specifics of this one.
Ask your buddy what the tip policy and culture is. Follow this. Also ask him about any key dress code points, clubhouse points, etc and follow those. Ask him about any other thjngs too (for example, some clubs ban cell phones or phone calls on the course, some don’t care). Actually mind your basic golf etiquette. Actually, start doing that in general, it’s not that hard. Stop walking in people’s lines.
Clothes should be proper golf attire, shirt always tucked in, hat off unless on the course. Do not change shoes anywhere but locker rooms. Shower after round but before eating (if you get food afterwards) change into other golf clothes, tucked in, no hat. This doesnt go for a lot of places but the course I'm a member at (granted its inv only) does not allow phones to be used on the golf course. Also do not play music--if he wants to play some let him but don't do it yourself. Some other things: if you got invited and he is paying for your round, try to pay him back for drinks or pay his caddie fee (if there are caddies). If he doesnt need either of those things, buy him a shirt. Tip extremely generously, pace of play, etc. Its going to be nervewracking your first time but dont stress cause everyone has a first time. Enjoy it and make it a fun round
Suck fast (at golf)
And it helps to remember that it is not a sin to be a bad golfer, it is however a sin to be a slow golfer or rude golfer. Get out of your cart every time with your club in hand ready to hit your shot. If you don’t know which club take two or three with you and decide when you get to your ball. And above all else- try to enjoy the round. Your playing a sport that many people wish they could do
Just play at a good pace. Don’t rush, but don’t be slow either. Also, don’t worry about your score. It’s a new course to you, you’re just there for the experience.
All you need is $ to play at nice fancy courses. There will be many worse golfers than you on the course. Use common sense, keep up the pace of play etc... Things you would do at any club. Might want to bring some cash to tip cart staff etc. That's only difference.
>riding ahead of people shooting shots If you aren't in their way or moving in their sight line while they are swinging then this is not bad etiquette. Please drive to your ball instead of waiting on the farthest out person to hit. At least 90% of the time I'm stuck between a slow group it's because 2 carts are waiting on one person to hit before the other cart drives to their ball.
I used to belong to Oak Hill, it was a perk for my dads job when I was in high school...country club etiquette is not all that different from public golf other then be aware of pace play, know when to give up on a lost ball, know when to pick up and give yourself a triple bogey. Have fun. Otherwise dress appropriate, collard shirt tucked in, and while every club is different assume that most employees are under paid and tips are appreciated if not expected
Don’t worry about your skills. We suck and still play, there are plenty of rich people who suck worse but still pay for the exclusivity.
Look where people are, watch their shots. You should have an idea where everyone lies either on or off the green. That way you'll know where they marked their balls and you won't walk in their line. Also, if someone is putting, stand at their 12 or 6 on a clock. Don't stand 3 or 9, i.e. in their periphery. That's etiquette 102 but missed by a lot of 'hacks'. Unless you're much older, use one leg to bend down and pick up ball / tee up. The two legged squatted is a peasant look. You want to pick it up like the pros. Can practice at home. It's not hard.
Never let not having cash be a reason not to tip. Everyone has Venmo, Zelle, cash app, PayPal, etc
Be nice/friendly to all the staff
Don’t take this the wrong way and I’m not trying to be insulting but as a golfer how do you not know basic golf etiquette? How did you learn to golf? Were you taught? Were you not taught the etiquette part or did you not want to learn at the time? I'm curious about your experience learning golf and the etiquette that goes along with the game. Golf has many traditions and unwritten rules that experienced players try to follow. If you're newer to the game or didn't have formal lessons, it's understandable that you may not be aware of all the etiquette yet.
My two pieces of advice for beginners are first to absolutely resist constantly apologizing nonstop for hitting bad shots. No one is offended if you don't play well, but apologizing too much becomes awkward and distracting. Second, do not rush your shots. Rushing shots leads to bad shots, which lead to negativity and more bad shots. Always be ready to hit when it is your turn - have your glove on, ball and tee in hand, and your club selected. My brother in law is always sitting in his cart eating when everyone else has teed off, and we get to watch him slowly prepare himself, and it's infuriating. The advantage to being ready is that you can relax and hit your shot naturally instead of rushing it and hitting it poorly.
Leave the tank top at home
Follow your friends lead and act like you’ve been there before.