You poor bastard, had that dose last week. My baloon-knot is only back to normal. Special word of advice: don't chance a fart for at least 2 days after the scutters subside, unless you like scraping the shit out of your jocks.
Gave a single wipe that came back so clean, I left the paper to be reused at a later visit.
Went back, had been used by another party.
I'm saying nothing.
You can make it yourself(there are loads of youtube videos on the topic), the local polish shops sell refridgerated plastic bags of it, or if you are flush buy [Vadasz](https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/310844967) at tesco or [organic raw sauerkraut](https://www.organico.ie/the-cultured-food-company-raw-sauerkraut-chilli-dill.html)
As fine a morning greeting as I have heard in a long time. May your morning poo also be without consequence. And furthermore, sir or madam, may your porcelain accept one flush to return it to its lilly whiteness.
Currently fighting for my life In a shopping centre jax after eating too much Apache pizza last night. Haven't had a takeaway pizza in months and I'm paying for it dearly
Ah the combination of pints of stout before a gig, pints of Heineken during the gig and cans of IPA on the way home plus multiple burgers and topped off with a kebab. The aul sewage system is getting a good testing this morning.
Mine was a bit bloody but tbf it was a monster after no movement for nearly a week so I was just glad to get it gone
I can't believe I just typed that while eating lunch lol
Not long after discovering this thread I was blessed with my first shit in 8 days - was it the dulcolax, was it the lactulose, or was it a blessed miracle bestowed on us by u/Sea_Instance3391?
I cannot be sure, but I would still like to see the canonisation process begin immediately.
Amen.
From somebody with digestive issues thank you 🙏
Probably TMI life hack coming up, but then again this whole thread is probably TMI.
Straining tends to cause issues long term, but one of the short term consequences is that it makes your bowel movements messier, so they're more difficult to clean up
Genuinely lovely, thanks OP.
In a world going to shit with toxic division, may shit more often bring us together. There's more that unites us than divides us. Pooing in this instance.
Had chicken with regret hot sauce on Friday night.
Saturday I had the 2x spicy large instant noodles. (Couldn't finish them). Johnny cash song is going through my head.
Do any long time members of the sub remember the fella (Petepuskas?) who was an arsehole to everyone and miserable about everything. And his way of protesting the weekly Sunday Morning thread was going into tremendous detail about the shit he took that morning. Every week
Like an otter gliding down a hill coated in Vaseline
Like a family of seals going down a waterslide.
Beautiful imagery
I went to sit on a throne and of course hearing splash I imagined a seal on waterslide...
Like shoes falling out of the attic.
Like Gannett diving into the sea for Mackerel.
Beautiful.
Like an upside down volcano spewing out half digested mexican lava.
Finished private ambulance shift at 2am, straight to bed, coffee and a power shit at 10am. Life is good
I would suggest against drinking coffee and powering shitting in bed.
What did you find the downsides to be?
Accidental coffee spillage... especially if you have white bed linen! No thank you.
I'm basically pissing stomach acid out of me arse while reading this, but thanks for the support all the same!
Ouch, Holland and barratt fibre capsules could change your life mate!
For what died the sons of Róisín? Imperlialist arse tablets?
You poor bastard, had that dose last week. My baloon-knot is only back to normal. Special word of advice: don't chance a fart for at least 2 days after the scutters subside, unless you like scraping the shit out of your jocks.
Gave a single wipe that came back so clean, I left the paper to be reused at a later visit. Went back, had been used by another party. I'm saying nothing.
Torture wouldn't get this out of me.
Found the Cavan man.
Frank of Ireland, in the flesh.
Every day we stray further from God's light.
Since discovering Unpasteurized Sauerkraut or Kim-chi life, I have been living the dream.
Where'd you get the sauerkraut?
You can make it yourself(there are loads of youtube videos on the topic), the local polish shops sell refridgerated plastic bags of it, or if you are flush buy [Vadasz](https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/310844967) at tesco or [organic raw sauerkraut](https://www.organico.ie/the-cultured-food-company-raw-sauerkraut-chilli-dill.html)
Lovely... Thanks for this
5 pints of Guinness and a rake of takeaway burgers last night. Was like squeezing the end out of a tube of black toothpaste. Feel great today
Ahhhh yes, the black mariah
Stay tuned, I feel another one working it’s way through me. Had three pints after work and there’s rumblings
A poo stool & coffee means no problem, and if there is a bit of a strain time for a quick stool softener
Don't even need a stool. A pack of bog roll laid flat on the ground does the same job.
As fine a morning greeting as I have heard in a long time. May your morning poo also be without consequence. And furthermore, sir or madam, may your porcelain accept one flush to return it to its lilly whiteness.
Currently fighting for my life In a shopping centre jax after eating too much Apache pizza last night. Haven't had a takeaway pizza in months and I'm paying for it dearly
Ah the combination of pints of stout before a gig, pints of Heineken during the gig and cans of IPA on the way home plus multiple burgers and topped off with a kebab. The aul sewage system is getting a good testing this morning.
Your S bend will be working over time Pip.
Mine was a bit bloody but tbf it was a monster after no movement for nearly a week so I was just glad to get it gone I can't believe I just typed that while eating lunch lol
Lol I feel you fellow constipated person 🫶
It's (ahem) shite isn't it
Indeed it is aye 😒
Usually not
✨Schrodinger's shite✨
Not long after discovering this thread I was blessed with my first shit in 8 days - was it the dulcolax, was it the lactulose, or was it a blessed miracle bestowed on us by u/Sea_Instance3391? I cannot be sure, but I would still like to see the canonisation process begin immediately. Amen.
From somebody with digestive issues thank you 🙏 Probably TMI life hack coming up, but then again this whole thread is probably TMI. Straining tends to cause issues long term, but one of the short term consequences is that it makes your bowel movements messier, so they're more difficult to clean up
As one of the 1 percent (people that eat enough fibre), I wish you as smooth and efficient delivery as I have been blessed with.
After a night on the beer.... I need all the thoughts, prayers and best wishes I can get...
Here I sit in ultimate bliss, A scuttery fart, then some piss, My sphincter gape is now absurd, then slides out a glistening turd.
Can't believe I scrolled past this while squeezing a fat one out 🤣
Scored mine last night, all calm this morning even after some nicotine and caffeine 🤷🏻♂️
Beautiful sentiment
Genuinely lovely, thanks OP. In a world going to shit with toxic division, may shit more often bring us together. There's more that unites us than divides us. Pooing in this instance.
Had chicken with regret hot sauce on Friday night. Saturday I had the 2x spicy large instant noodles. (Couldn't finish them). Johnny cash song is going through my head.
Not "Big River," I'm guessing. 
More like "I hurt myself today" 😂
[Orrrrrr......](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WyLhwYFgmk)
On the whole I concur
Do any long time members of the sub remember the fella (Petepuskas?) who was an arsehole to everyone and miserable about everything. And his way of protesting the weekly Sunday Morning thread was going into tremendous detail about the shit he took that morning. Every week
I'm... going to pretend I didn't read that.
Pray that the end of your shite has a nice long point on it, as it will stop your hole closing with a bang.
https://preview.redd.it/yrerxpgbbf8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ed138afe98ae280d5436819f8a6641a02461cc6 Nice timing
Had a lovely one this morning. Might for another later, I'll see how it goes. Update: 2nd one done. Was a beaut.
Been there. Done that. Happy Snday to you too! :)
As someone with crohns disease , you're asking for a lot 😂😂
Came here to say the same thing...🤣
Mine made it past the S-bend without even a flush. Life is good!
And also without any evidence that it ever existed. The elusive phantom poo is always a fond experience
Would one of those ab machines not be good for getting things going?
They’ll just make your shite really muscular
A good Sunday morning ghostie
Thank you, kind citizen. It was a delightful experience and has set me up rather nicely for the day ahead. Excellent.
It didn't work. I'm on number 4 already.
Thank you