OP, I’ve been at this fork. So I sympathize.
I’m not an attractive person. So naturally the only people interested in me are hopelessly toxic and/or desperate themselves. I tried to find happiness that way - classic trope of “well if I make this person happy, it’ll make me happy”.
A fool’s errand. A toxic person of any caliber will drain you of every last milligram of joy you manage to find for yourself. Their needs are insatiable. Their talent for emotional blackmail for making you feel guilty for not giving them even more of yourself than you have left is unparalleled.
Lonely and sad is not an end all be all. I promise you it’s possible to learn how to be alone but not lonely. It will never fill that void we as humans all feel for someone close to us… but it will spare you from the far worse pain of a malignancy of a toxic person.
You don't need to be sad just because you are alone..
One can always find happiness even if you don't have a partner.
Also it is 1000 times worse to be in a relationship with the wrong or toxic person.
yeah i feel you man, but don't worry you'll find at some point, just try to talk to a lot of people in somewhere YOU WILL FIND FRIEND THAT He values you and You feel you're lovable, if you feel lonely You can text me!
Good luck
been alone most of my life and im happy as can be, had two relationships that lasted about 6 months each and they both made me realize im happier without someone
Honestly I don't get why people are so obsessed with having someone. It's like they were programmed to base the meaning of life on all that romantic shtick.
I've been more content being on my own then I was in a serious relationship. I've been feeling more myself, more at peace, less constrained. Navigating the realities of being in a relationship was emotionally draining. There were so many days when I was just thinking: "god, I wish I had more time for myself. Wish I could just be alone." And when I did end up alone, I grieved for a while, but I eventually felt a sort of relief 👀
For some its just having a light in this rather empty or dark void that is their life (not everyone feels that way). Someone that even just thinking about can make them smile or feel somewhat happy even when everything else has gone to shit. Sometimes we lose sight of the wonderful feeling of childhood and having someone who can make us feel that way again is indescribablly magical. You just need someone who respects your needs, such as alone time. Some people think relationships have to be about "romance" and acting a certain way but really they just need to be two people who love, respect and care about each other and enjoy each others company. But its not for everyone.
>For some its just having a light in this rather empty or dark void that is their life (not everyone feels that way). Someone that even just thinking about can make them smile or feel somewhat happy even when everything else has gone to shit. Sometimes we lose sight of the wonderful feeling of childhood and having someone who can make us feel that way again is indescribablly magical.
I'm sorry dude, but it all sounds pretty affected and sappy, like a film monologue. Just the way of speaking about being in a relationship in such a lofty tone makes me go "ugh... 🙄".
A part of my point was that people have an overly idealised and overblown assumptions about relationships. And you hit me with "a person who's a beam of light in the profound darkness of misery that is life", come on...
>You just need someone
No, I don't need anyone :))))
Take care ✌️
Same here, I'm content to be alone. I don't feel the need to burn precious time, energy, or money on this sappy shit that everyone is so obsessed over.
Exactly, other people only sap my social battery. I WANT to be alone so I can enjoy shit I like in peace. You'll have to pay me a LOT for me to even consider being together with someone else, not to mention a toxic person.
Finding happiness alone is the path that leads to happy healthy relationships. People are more attracted happy people than sad people. The worst thing that happens is you end up happy regardless.
It worked for me... Stopped looking and focused on finding my happiness and loving being me. That's when true love found me!
I disagree here strongly. Because trying out and having ups and downs including finding and leaving toxic peoplr, is what makes life worth living, contrary to constant loniness and nothing happening.
Maybe learn how to have friends to rely on and not just relationships, and find things that are fun while you’re alone. 2 maybe don’t date toxic people??
You know I had this mindset for a while. Randomly went on a date with a girl. And she was just normal. Normal person. And it made me realize I was wasting a lot of time. Gloating
As one Kevin said "You present me with a two-pronged road. One road leads to hell and the other also leads to hell but you failed to realise i can just go off the fucking road!"
A message to those that feel this way.
Keep in mind, you could indeed be the problem. Always work on yourself and find your flaws.
If you've really done the work, you will be able to find love, but that doesn't mean the one for you has done the work yet.
Luck and perseverance are needed for lasting love these days.
I introduce to you: 1. Stalkers, 2. Toxic/Racist people, 3. Middle/High class with their first world problems, 4. Poor people who only think of themselves, 5. Loud obnoxious people, 6. Addicts, 7. People centering life around politics and army. Etc.
May be only in 20s, but my short life I got to know that being by yourself or only with good relatives isn't so bad. On the contrary, with how much chaos, violence and injustice there is in the world, I cherish my solitary and more quiet relaxed life after shit I had for two whole years.
Coming here as my alt bc my friends know my main. Don't stay in a toxic relationship. Ever. EVER. And this is coming from someone who is too desperate to leave a very bad relationship right now. My gf has anger issues that make her say things she doesn't want to say to me, ever. We dated 2 years back and i developed those anger issues from her, though not as severe. I fumbled the best woman i had ever met bc of said anger issues. We are back together as of april (with the first gf). I have to avoid getting her too annoyed so she doesn't get angry again, you don't want my life, find a good person, don't try to fix someone broken. I'm so very tired. (And i admit i might also be very clingy, which makes everything better or worse depending on her mood) you may refer to me as my gamertag, Kangaroot, if the alt username is too normal. ❤️
Loneliness is ok, and doesn't mean one will end up sad and depressed. But trying to Share your life with someone is neither Bad, if you take the right decitions that person could be someone worth of the effort...
Put him in a red shirt, decadent pants, a backwards blue cap, shades, some spectacular sneakers... make sure he's in a lawn chair, with the subtext "or be your own fucking boss."
Make sure his legs are crossed and his hands are behind his head, and the sun is shining down on him brilliantly.
My choice is to turn around and walk in the other direction, no erection for this perfection, I forgot to mention, please, for a moment, give me your attention! There’s really too much tension, not enough pension in this dimension. And doesn’t it hurt, the way it works, in the ways it lurks, now that’s a first. Now’s probably not the time, to start a rhyme, not quite exactly sublime, but it’s inevitable, unforgettable, and sometimes it can be very regrettable. The lines that define, the meaning behind, the chimes that hide, the emotion inside. But right now I’m stuck in a situation, where I’m in no position for negotiation, so until then I’ll wait to see you again but for now I thank you for your cooperation.
there is another road, seek God over all the things and have amazing grace where you will always be happy with the lord no matter what and after that he will send you your rib which means woman where both will have grace in God.
I said it many times, I say it again. Having a life with ups and downs, including having occassions where you are together with toxic people is better than having a life of constant lonliness and nothing happen. Ups and downs are the things which make life worth living, constant stagnation is not.
The thing you gotta do is find someone who seems non toxic and try entering one groups of friends through this one friend.
Now if he/she is toxic you will usually find yourself with:
A) someone in that group that isn’t toxic;
B) the group and they are not toxic;
C) another group of friends through someone from the previous group
D) Nevermind, the person isn’t toxic, you won the jackpot
That’s usually what happens to me personally as I have bad skill at making friends.
Fr, how some people just extrovert themselves into every friendship possible?
I went for the ladder I don’t know if I’m sadder or not honestly. On one hand I got the experience of being with someone but with the cost of being cheated on. On the other hand I went on without dating her and probably became an incel (no joke).
loneliness doesn’t make me sad even when I tried to get some friends all were toxic,liar, betrayer in one word horrible. Went through a very hard time. Later I decided to be alone again as I was be4. And now I'm happy. There's nobody around to research about me or poke me or harm me/ hurt me.
Love yourself and do everything you'd ever want to do, especially weird shit you won't be able to do in a relationship. I refuse to elaborate. Do you and live your life to the fullest and be unapologetically you. You might find someone along the way and you'll want to drop it all for them, or not.
If that was the fork in front of me I’d go off roading haha. But seriously, you can find a way to be happy with yourself first. Find out how to have fun and go places on your own. Make yourself a person you’re proud of. And then find someone else who is non toxic too. Two good people together is the cure. Both of them have to be happy with themselves in order to bring happiness to a relationship
These look like the same routes open to me in regards to turning on game chat or muting it all. Silence is golden, but sometimes I'd like to find someone to game with and I don't feel like dealing with toxic people on the route to finding a gaming friend
So according to this post and the number of upvotes so many people are obsessed with having someone else. I can't for the life of me figure out why you would want that. Being with others drain my social battery. I do NOT have enough alone time to even consider the thought of finding a partner or some shit you have to spend effort to care about. Heck, you'll have to pay me if you want me to do anything like that.
I think you stumbled across the "only two options" falilsy. You can go make more friends to cast a wider net. Also you probably want to find a group that meets in person and go to it.
Honestly you gotta have an exit strategy in every relationship. I am thinking of buying a separate house outside the city and a deposit some money into a cold crypto wallet just in off chance that my wife cheats on me with a super successful divorce lawyer and gets all my money in a divorce somehow. It is possible. ^((some dumb-asses respond seriously to joke comments like this everything is possible.))
Or Maybe I should just stay lonely and sad . . . definitely less of a hassle.
"Sad and lonely" except I still have friends and family and I find other ways to find fulfillment. Remember, a healthy romance is absolutely a worthy pursuit, but it is not the default for happiness.
Get to a spot where you're content being alone. Then you're ready for a relationship. I know its hard, but learn to be your own person first, before depending on someone else.
It's such a weird feeling knowing that 2 BodyPillows got me out of almost any mental Problem I had but also classic me that the Pillows are the only thing that worked
OP, I’ve been at this fork. So I sympathize. I’m not an attractive person. So naturally the only people interested in me are hopelessly toxic and/or desperate themselves. I tried to find happiness that way - classic trope of “well if I make this person happy, it’ll make me happy”. A fool’s errand. A toxic person of any caliber will drain you of every last milligram of joy you manage to find for yourself. Their needs are insatiable. Their talent for emotional blackmail for making you feel guilty for not giving them even more of yourself than you have left is unparalleled. Lonely and sad is not an end all be all. I promise you it’s possible to learn how to be alone but not lonely. It will never fill that void we as humans all feel for someone close to us… but it will spare you from the far worse pain of a malignancy of a toxic person.
You don't need to be sad just because you are alone.. One can always find happiness even if you don't have a partner. Also it is 1000 times worse to be in a relationship with the wrong or toxic person.
Idk man, not being able to find anyone can make you feel pretty unlovable. But fair point on the second statement
I love u bruh
+1 aye ur right
yeah i feel you man, but don't worry you'll find at some point, just try to talk to a lot of people in somewhere YOU WILL FIND FRIEND THAT He values you and You feel you're lovable, if you feel lonely You can text me! Good luck
[удалено]
Cool
And? Just because they exist doesn’t mean people don’t feel lonely without a relationship.
So was there some kind of a point you were trying to make there or..?
I mean ye toxic relationship is terrible but to me loneliness is just as bad, idk maybe Im just the kind of person that enjoys having companions
yeah i'm gonna have to agree with you on that one
been alone most of my life and im happy as can be, had two relationships that lasted about 6 months each and they both made me realize im happier without someone
Just stop being sad!
Yeah, it's the loneliness that's the problem.
Honestly I don't get why people are so obsessed with having someone. It's like they were programmed to base the meaning of life on all that romantic shtick. I've been more content being on my own then I was in a serious relationship. I've been feeling more myself, more at peace, less constrained. Navigating the realities of being in a relationship was emotionally draining. There were so many days when I was just thinking: "god, I wish I had more time for myself. Wish I could just be alone." And when I did end up alone, I grieved for a while, but I eventually felt a sort of relief 👀
For some its just having a light in this rather empty or dark void that is their life (not everyone feels that way). Someone that even just thinking about can make them smile or feel somewhat happy even when everything else has gone to shit. Sometimes we lose sight of the wonderful feeling of childhood and having someone who can make us feel that way again is indescribablly magical. You just need someone who respects your needs, such as alone time. Some people think relationships have to be about "romance" and acting a certain way but really they just need to be two people who love, respect and care about each other and enjoy each others company. But its not for everyone.
no offense but if you feel that way what you need is a therapist, codependency is not something you should want for yourself.
>For some its just having a light in this rather empty or dark void that is their life (not everyone feels that way). Someone that even just thinking about can make them smile or feel somewhat happy even when everything else has gone to shit. Sometimes we lose sight of the wonderful feeling of childhood and having someone who can make us feel that way again is indescribablly magical. I'm sorry dude, but it all sounds pretty affected and sappy, like a film monologue. Just the way of speaking about being in a relationship in such a lofty tone makes me go "ugh... 🙄". A part of my point was that people have an overly idealised and overblown assumptions about relationships. And you hit me with "a person who's a beam of light in the profound darkness of misery that is life", come on... >You just need someone No, I don't need anyone :)))) Take care ✌️
Same here, I'm content to be alone. I don't feel the need to burn precious time, energy, or money on this sappy shit that everyone is so obsessed over.
Exactly, other people only sap my social battery. I WANT to be alone so I can enjoy shit I like in peace. You'll have to pay me a LOT for me to even consider being together with someone else, not to mention a toxic person.
Finding happiness alone is the path that leads to happy healthy relationships. People are more attracted happy people than sad people. The worst thing that happens is you end up happy regardless. It worked for me... Stopped looking and focused on finding my happiness and loving being me. That's when true love found me!
I disagree here strongly. Because trying out and having ups and downs including finding and leaving toxic peoplr, is what makes life worth living, contrary to constant loniness and nothing happening.
Trust me,some ppl need a partner to be happy,like me
This.
OR hear me out go find more people
It's like taking a drug and not knowing if the trip is going to be good or bad.
IKR, I'm actually really happy single, I don't want to spend time, money or energy thinking about or doing that kind of thing.
[удалено]
Or....
*huffs copium like its cocaine
Somehow this actually what happened according to my girlfriend
"saltyprojection73" lmao
You doing okay OP?
Bad Life Advice: If you dont want to end up in a relationship with a toxic person, just be the toxic person in the relationship.
sad and lonely is the only choice I get
“Just cuz I’m thirsty doesn’t mean I gotta drink poison” ~ Lao Tzu, I think
Stop reading my mind, memes!
Reddit is a mind-reading psyop, oof
why does nobody ever run straight thru the middle of the grass in these memes? i mean theres gotta be something over that hilltop right?
An Applebees
that probably means the applebees is more towrds the left side then
Bro I feel this. I wish I had just made myself ok woth being single because the shot I'm stuck in now is way worse.
I'm with you man dw you ain't alone, i'm not in a toxic relationship but mine is also very bad. You can check my own comment for context. ❣️
Been single for over 10 years. Don't bother me anymore.
I never understood why people choose to live in a toxic relationship if they have the means to live on their own.
What about the alternative, having friends? Have a functioning social life before having a functioning love life.
Damn, Imagine falling in love and desiring relationships
There is a third option. Stay alone and be happy because you don’t want a relationship anyway. Go to the local Waffle House and enjoy some nice food!
Get overweight get sad
The juice ain’t worth the squeeze.
Maybe learn how to have friends to rely on and not just relationships, and find things that are fun while you’re alone. 2 maybe don’t date toxic people??
You know I had this mindset for a while. Randomly went on a date with a girl. And she was just normal. Normal person. And it made me realize I was wasting a lot of time. Gloating
Yeah, wtf is this doomer approach? Not everyone is as psychotic as the internet makes it out to be
Wonder whats behind him
As one Kevin said "You present me with a two-pronged road. One road leads to hell and the other also leads to hell but you failed to realise i can just go off the fucking road!"
Any toxic people around? I'd like to try the alternative now
Better yet, have a friend, but they get into a toxic relationship and fuck you both over
Left
Wait no straight-happy and with friends!
Naw I’m turning around
Never need one I have you guys for company :)
Don’t forget the part where you waste months of your life and money on them.
A message to those that feel this way. Keep in mind, you could indeed be the problem. Always work on yourself and find your flaws. If you've really done the work, you will be able to find love, but that doesn't mean the one for you has done the work yet. Luck and perseverance are needed for lasting love these days.
Maybe try platonic relationships
What is the straight path in this fork in the road??
Secret option 3: Actually, have standards for who you want in your life and work on yourself in the meantime.
At least if I'm with a toxic girl, that means someone wants me
I choose option three: being aromantic and happier on my own
Same
I introduce to you: 1. Stalkers, 2. Toxic/Racist people, 3. Middle/High class with their first world problems, 4. Poor people who only think of themselves, 5. Loud obnoxious people, 6. Addicts, 7. People centering life around politics and army. Etc. May be only in 20s, but my short life I got to know that being by yourself or only with good relatives isn't so bad. On the contrary, with how much chaos, violence and injustice there is in the world, I cherish my solitary and more quiet relaxed life after shit I had for two whole years.
Coming here as my alt bc my friends know my main. Don't stay in a toxic relationship. Ever. EVER. And this is coming from someone who is too desperate to leave a very bad relationship right now. My gf has anger issues that make her say things she doesn't want to say to me, ever. We dated 2 years back and i developed those anger issues from her, though not as severe. I fumbled the best woman i had ever met bc of said anger issues. We are back together as of april (with the first gf). I have to avoid getting her too annoyed so she doesn't get angry again, you don't want my life, find a good person, don't try to fix someone broken. I'm so very tired. (And i admit i might also be very clingy, which makes everything better or worse depending on her mood) you may refer to me as my gamertag, Kangaroot, if the alt username is too normal. ❤️
Why not just sit there
Just go away?
just walk straight ik a cliff when i see one
Wow...gotta start gaining confidence at some point
That's Tinder in a nutshell
There is also an option where you work to improve yourself and build enough confidence to attract higher quality romantic partners
Also those people: why date a nice person they are so boring! GOD I NEED A BAD BOY!!!
Me who has never been in a relationship at all
Happened to me would strongly not recommend it went through 5 years of depression
Or just find someone who isn’t toxic??? Idk seems like a pretty simple third option
Me trying to decide(I know damn well that I have my imagination) 
woe is me
I'm on the left path without the loneliness and sadness. Just no friends because I stay at home with my family.
Loneliness is ok, and doesn't mean one will end up sad and depressed. But trying to Share your life with someone is neither Bad, if you take the right decitions that person could be someone worth of the effort...
Lolz toxicity.
Imagine even having the second choice... There isn't even a another option than the first one for me in genaral.
Put him in a red shirt, decadent pants, a backwards blue cap, shades, some spectacular sneakers... make sure he's in a lawn chair, with the subtext "or be your own fucking boss." Make sure his legs are crossed and his hands are behind his head, and the sun is shining down on him brilliantly.
Gotta take a chance
what’s even worse is when YOU’RE toxic one and makes you end up sad and alone because you have no one to blame but yourself.
No one's forcing you to pick either of these paths
That totally didn't happen to me.......but I didn't know it was toxic because it was my first relationship
Ive picked both. It doesnt matter.
I’m so far down the left path, when i look back, the fork has faded in the distance.
I tried the right choice and now now I'm deeper than ever in the left one... 😭
2nd one looks good to me :>
This is a very defeatist outlook to have
I’ve seen what toxic people can do to a person’s head, so I’ll stay lonely and sad here.
How about you find a good person?
I have a gun, a bullet, and a Kurt cobain shirt. I think I know what to do.
OR you can find love and live a happy life of fulfillment and joy. I was alone for 30 years and then met the love of my life. Never looked back.
My choice is to turn around and walk in the other direction, no erection for this perfection, I forgot to mention, please, for a moment, give me your attention! There’s really too much tension, not enough pension in this dimension. And doesn’t it hurt, the way it works, in the ways it lurks, now that’s a first. Now’s probably not the time, to start a rhyme, not quite exactly sublime, but it’s inevitable, unforgettable, and sometimes it can be very regrettable. The lines that define, the meaning behind, the chimes that hide, the emotion inside. But right now I’m stuck in a situation, where I’m in no position for negotiation, so until then I’ll wait to see you again but for now I thank you for your cooperation.
there is another road, seek God over all the things and have amazing grace where you will always be happy with the lord no matter what and after that he will send you your rib which means woman where both will have grace in God.
I said it many times, I say it again. Having a life with ups and downs, including having occassions where you are together with toxic people is better than having a life of constant lonliness and nothing happen. Ups and downs are the things which make life worth living, constant stagnation is not.
Go right and face the facts. Your toxic to.
Me for real
The thing you gotta do is find someone who seems non toxic and try entering one groups of friends through this one friend. Now if he/she is toxic you will usually find yourself with: A) someone in that group that isn’t toxic; B) the group and they are not toxic; C) another group of friends through someone from the previous group D) Nevermind, the person isn’t toxic, you won the jackpot That’s usually what happens to me personally as I have bad skill at making friends. Fr, how some people just extrovert themselves into every friendship possible?
Why would i be sad when i can be with the boys
Bruh plz don't this to me rn 🥺😭😮💨
 Stay single my friends
I dont have any choice :( only left path
third way: cracked
The middle... The middle looks nice 😊
I went for the ladder I don’t know if I’m sadder or not honestly. On one hand I got the experience of being with someone but with the cost of being cheated on. On the other hand I went on without dating her and probably became an incel (no joke).
Solution: Learn how to alone and happy
Big mood
loneliness doesn’t make me sad even when I tried to get some friends all were toxic,liar, betrayer in one word horrible. Went through a very hard time. Later I decided to be alone again as I was be4. And now I'm happy. There's nobody around to research about me or poke me or harm me/ hurt me.
I'd rather be sad and lonely than become jaded and traumatized
Nah; option 3: Stay single and be awesome.
Someone (Emerson I think) said something like don’t follow the path. Pave your own trail. So none of those
The third chpice is trying
Amen
I dont wanna be that guy but…. Dogs ftw
Love yourself and do everything you'd ever want to do, especially weird shit you won't be able to do in a relationship. I refuse to elaborate. Do you and live your life to the fullest and be unapologetically you. You might find someone along the way and you'll want to drop it all for them, or not.
I go right when i need more gym motivation
yolo
Unseen 3rd option: Go for that Goku-Bulma dynamic and you might find the right one.
Left path
If that was the fork in front of me I’d go off roading haha. But seriously, you can find a way to be happy with yourself first. Find out how to have fun and go places on your own. Make yourself a person you’re proud of. And then find someone else who is non toxic too. Two good people together is the cure. Both of them have to be happy with themselves in order to bring happiness to a relationship
These look like the same routes open to me in regards to turning on game chat or muting it all. Silence is golden, but sometimes I'd like to find someone to game with and I don't feel like dealing with toxic people on the route to finding a gaming friend
So according to this post and the number of upvotes so many people are obsessed with having someone else. I can't for the life of me figure out why you would want that. Being with others drain my social battery. I do NOT have enough alone time to even consider the thought of finding a partner or some shit you have to spend effort to care about. Heck, you'll have to pay me if you want me to do anything like that.
When guys want a crazy goth girl gf
There comes a point when you are so sad and lonely that it's worth the risk
It doesn't have to be like that. It's not easy to get out there and get to know someone, but it's not impossible.
If you arent happy on your own you wont be happy with somebody either.
I think you stumbled across the "only two options" falilsy. You can go make more friends to cast a wider net. Also you probably want to find a group that meets in person and go to it.
Honestly you gotta have an exit strategy in every relationship. I am thinking of buying a separate house outside the city and a deposit some money into a cold crypto wallet just in off chance that my wife cheats on me with a super successful divorce lawyer and gets all my money in a divorce somehow. It is possible. ^((some dumb-asses respond seriously to joke comments like this everything is possible.)) Or Maybe I should just stay lonely and sad . . . definitely less of a hassle.
"Sad and lonely" except I still have friends and family and I find other ways to find fulfillment. Remember, a healthy romance is absolutely a worthy pursuit, but it is not the default for happiness.
Get to a spot where you're content being alone. Then you're ready for a relationship. I know its hard, but learn to be your own person first, before depending on someone else.
Or learn how to reinvest time into yourself, discover new interests or music and say "not today" to all these intrusive thoughts OP.
There’s always fat chicks and single moms
Be alone is good not sad 😄💪
Jokes on you! I’m happy to be alone!
It's such a weird feeling knowing that 2 BodyPillows got me out of almost any mental Problem I had but also classic me that the Pillows are the only thing that worked